7. Tammy

CHAPTER 7

TAMMY

Rachel is an angel. There is no other way to describe her. Not only did she get a smile out of my very shy son, but she also brought him snacks, books, games… and even managed to get him petting Fezzik. The little dog sat, his tail wagging, while Rachel coaxed Kai away from my leg.

"That's it." Rachel grins. "I'll hold his collar, and you can pet him here or here." She points at the dog, and Kai reaches forward, then jumps back when Fezzik whips his head around to sniff him.

Rachel laughs. "It's okay. He just likes to sniff everything. " She bulges her eyes, making a face that pulls a laugh out of my sweet boy. "Come on. You can do this."

Kai inches forward again, crouching down this time and holding out his hand. Fezzik gives it a quick sniff, his black nose twitching as he investigates this new person. Then he gives Kai's thumb a lick and lets him stroke his fur.

"He's soft."

"I know, right?" Rachel beams at him, staying low until Kai is obviously comfortable, then rising to talk to me again. "Please let me know if there's anything else you need. We're not officially open yet, but I'm going to treat you like my first VIP guest." She winks at me, and I fall just a little bit in love with her.

It takes everything in me not to start bawling on the spot. Her kindness is too much, yet exactly what I need.

Her gentle green eyes soften as she reaches out and rubs my arm. "I'm not sure exactly why you're here, and you don't have to tell me, but just know that we'll take really good care of you."

"Thank you." I nod.

Rachel steps back from us, pointing down at the dog. "If you want him gone, just order him to go find Baxter and he'll shoot out the door in a hot minute. He loves the guy."

I can believe that. Baxter always had a way with animals. His mom used to joke that he was better with animals than he was with humans.

Watching Kai jump on the plush armchair and beckon Fezzik up beside him, I have to wonder if my son's the same. Sure, he was scared at first… but that's only because he's never had pets in his life. I should get him a dog.

When we get back home, I ? —

The thought cuts off, and I cross my arms, shrinking in on myself and fighting the urge to throw up. When we get back home? Is that my plan? To return to Hudson after I've had a chance to cool off? Or is this it? Is my marriage over and then… what? Am I a solo mother now? Do I have to find a job and support my son? What if Hudson decides to fight me for custody or something? What if?—

"Tammy? Are you okay?" Rachel's soft voice slices through my panic, and I blink at her, barely able to nod.

After a thick swallow, I manage to rasp, "Yeah. All good. Just tired after driving all this way." Lamest excuse ever.

"I'll leave you to get some rest, then." Her smile is kind, yet somehow all-knowing.

I look away from her, crossing my arms and digging my fingers into my biceps.

"You're welcome to join us for dinner later, or I can deliver it up here to your room. Just let me know." She walks for the door, gripping the handle before turning back to smile at me. "You're safe here. I don't know what's going on, but Baxter's pretty protective of us girls."

"Us girls?" I frown, wondering if this is some kind of harem situation or something. Baxter said a bunch of them live here, but is it just Rachel's boyfriend, Baxter, and a bunch of females?

"Yeah. I mean, all the guys are protective, but… I just know that Baxter will make sure you're safe. If that's the issue."

I shake my head with a wobbly smile. "It's not. It…" I wince, not even sure how to word this.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry. I just want to make you feel better."

My laughter is short and more of a scoff as I shake my head and feebly reply, "Thanks for trying, but I'm…" I shake my head again.

Rachel just nods with a smile and leaves the room.

As soon as the door clicks shut, my shoulders deflate, and I slump onto the bed. I don't know what to do with myself. Baxter had to go to a hockey practice. He didn't say much before he left, but I felt bereft when I knew he wasn't in the house anymore. Thankfully, Rachel appeared with books, games, and food to distract us, but now she's gone, somewhere inside this big villa, and I don't know when Baxter will be back.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I glance over my shoulder at Kai. He's happily pointing at pictures and making up stories. He knows some of the words on the pages but not all of them. I love his singsong whisper as he talks to himself, unaware of the world around him.

My phone buzzes, and I glance at the screen. It's Hudson again.

Where are you?

Tell me that you're safe. Please.

I asked for space, and he gives me less than a day. He's relentless! I find it so frickin' ironic when he'll go days at work, barely checking in, but as soon as I leave, he needs constant contact.

With a huff, I quickly reply.

We're safe, and I'm not telling you where we are, because I'm not ready to see you right now. I asked for space, Hudson. You owe me that. Please, stop texting me!

You're my wife! Of course I'm going to text you and make sure you're okay. Especially when you won't answer your fucking phone!

I'm not answering because I don't want to talk to you right now. And I might be your wife, but you definitely weren't acting like my husband two days ago!

I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! If you'll just pick up the phone, I can actually say it to you. You can't just run away. We need to fix this.

I scowl at the screen before dropping the phone and listening to it buzz while Hudson sends through another chain of texts. He won't let this go until he knows where I am. But screw him. I'm not saying anything right now. That's why I turned off my location tracker. I don't want him hunting me down and showing up here. Not until I figure out… what? I don't know what I need to figure out; I just know I can't face him yet. It's too painful.

My phone buzzes again, and I let out a little screech, snatching it off the bed and turning the thing off. Not just silent but freaking off ! Slamming it back down on the soft duvet, I pinch the bridge of my nose and sniff.

"Mommy?" Kai's voice is soft and full of worry.

Shit. I'd forgotten he was sitting right there. What is wrong with me?

Forcing a smile, I look across the room at him. Fezzik is curled up by his side, his chin resting on Kai's little thighs. They look adorable together, and I should take a picture, but I don't want to touch my phone right now. "What's up, sweetie?"

"Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." I nod, biting my lips together, knowing he can sense my lie.

His light brown eyes drink me in. He's watching me in that quiet way of his. I love his cute face so much. His serious, thoughtful expression. My heart is bleeding with affection… and also pain. I never wanted him, but as soon as I held him in my arms, he was mine, and I loved him with a fierceness I never thought I was capable of feeling.

"Do you miss Daddy? Is that why you're sad?"

The question stumps me for a second, and I work my jaw to the side as I try to answer him. Eventually, I settle for a deflect. "Do you miss Daddy?"

He shrugs, his lips turning down at the edges.

As much as I hate to do it, I pick up my phone and hold it out to him. "You can call him if you want." It should be safe enough. Kai barely speaks anyway, and it's not like he'll tell Hudson where we are. I do run the risk of him telling Hudson about the dog and possibly talking about a scary man with a beard, but I'll be right here to monitor the call.

As much as I don't want it to happen, I can't deny Kai access to his father… even if his daddy is a shithead.

Guilt pinches me.

I feel bad for calling my husband that, but… dammit, he is!

He cheated on me!

The thought is like a punch to the stomach, and I feel the pain hit me with a force so strong, I nearly buckle.

I've been a good wife. Loyal. Supportive.

And he's screwing blondes with big boobs in my freaking shower!

It hurts. This pain is like nothing I've ever felt before. It makes me want to crumple to the ground and weep… or maybe scream. I don't know. I hate this onslaught of black-and-blue emotion so much.

"Um…" Kai bites his lip, staring at my phone like it's a snake.

I can't help a soft grin. "Still scared to talk on the phone, huh?"

He wrinkles his nose, and all I can do is laugh at his cute expression. "Well, if you change your mind, you just have to ask, okay?" I swallow the rock in my throat and grit out, "I'm sure Daddy would love to hear from you."

He glances at the phone, then back at Fezzik, and then his eyes track to the stack of books Rachel left for him. He doesn't reach for one, and my insides spasm. Does he want to keep talking? Is he going to ask me why I left or what an affair is?

Shit. I shouldn't have spoken so freely around him.

He opens his little mouth, but before any words can pop out, I jump off the bed.

My quick move startles Fezzik, and he sits up, perking his ears and then barking once before leaping to the floor and racing out of the room.

Kai jolts and gapes after him—a mixture of disappointment and curiosity.

"Shall we go see where the little dude's going?"

"Okay." Kai jumps down and scampers after him.

Relief floods me as I chase him out the door. Awkward conversation averted. But I can't expect that to last forever. At some point, he's going to want the truth, and somehow I have to explain it in a way a four-year-old will understand.

I'm on borrowed time here. Hudson won't just let me get away with ignoring him. And Kai will eventually want to talk to his dad. I'm a good mother, and I have to put Kai before my own emotional nightmare, which means later today, I need to find the courage to turn my phone back on and set up a video chat with Kai and his dad.

"Fezzik?" Kai softly calls, following him down the stairs, then jerking to a stop with a quiet yelp.

I hurtle down the stairs, wondering what's got him spooked, until I spot the tall, muscly guy in the entrance. He glances up the stairwell and looks at me, confusion buckling his expression.

"Can't fucking believe Coach ended practice with that bullshit drill. What the fuck?" Another guy walks in, rubbing his shoulder and cursing some more, until the first guy nudges him with his elbow.

He shuts up immediately and glances my way, spotting Kai peering through the railing. I edge up behind him, resting my hand on his chest while we both gape at the group of giant men who are now piling in the front door. Their bags land with thuds on the shiny wood floor.

"Yeah, well, that new assistant coach is a piece of fucking work. He's gonna make us sweat blood in training, I'm telling ya." The man with dark hair frowns when he notices his two friends staring at us. Then his gaze inevitably tracks to the staircase, and now I'm nervously smiling at what I can only assume are hockey players.

Big, burly hockey players with foul mouths who look like they could squish us in a heartbeat.

Do these men all live in this house together?

Shit. What have I done bringing Kai here?

He leans back against my legs, his white-knuckle grip on the railing making me want to race back upstairs and pack our bags.

But then Baxter appears at the bottom of the staircase. Fezzik yaps at his feet, then rushes to the guy with messy blond hair.

"Hey, buddy!" He bends down, a wide smile dominating his face as he scoops up the dog in his arms and gets excited puppy kisses.

Mr. Tall is still studying me along with Mr. Dark Hair. It's unnerving. I glance at Baxter, who gives me a reassuring smile, so I wave at the guys. "Uh… hi."

"Who are you?" Mr. Tall crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at me. It's not a mean look exactly, but he obviously wasn't expecting some strange lady and her kid invading their turf.

"This is Tammy." Baxter speaks before I can. "She's a friend of mine. We grew up living next door to each other, and she's just swung by to say hi and stay for a couple days." His soft explanation leaves no room for argument, and the guys all relax, their smiles turning friendly. "And this is her son, Kai. He's… four?" He glances up the stairs for confirmation, and I nod.

"Yeah." I squeeze Kai's shoulder. "Say hello, please, kiddo."

He swallows, and I give him another soft nudge. Eventually, a greeting that sounds more like a mouse squeak pops out, and it causes the one with the puppy to laugh, then call up to him. "Nice to meet you, man. Welcome to our castle." His wink and grin are downright adorable, and I feel Kai relax beneath my fingers. "Don't be shy, dude. Come on down. You met my puppy yet?"

"He's yours? I thought he was Baxter's dog?"

"What?" The incredulous expression is hammed up, and it makes Kai giggle. "I bought this little dude for my girl, and he's ours. Baxter just looks after him for us when we're at school."

"You go to school?" Kai's face buckles in confusion as he starts walking down the stairs. "Aren't you too old for that?"

My mouth drops open. Kai is talking to strangers. He's having an actual conversation. Using words. His little voice ringing out loud enough to actually be heard.

"We're in college."

Kai stops on the fourth step from the bottom as the man approaches him. Fezzik is starting to squirm, and he places him down so the dog can dance up the stairs and sniff Kai's feet. The man crouches down so he's level with my son.

"College is like school for big people. And I've only got one year to go. Then I'm gonna get me a contract with a professional hockey team."

Kai bobs his head, his wide eyes drinking this man in.

"I'm Casey, by the way." He sticks out his hand. Kai stares at it for a second, and Casey laughs. "Slap me some skin, little man."

After a cautious pause, Kai does as he's told, and Casey laughs, then points out the other men in the entrance. "That tall one over there, that's Ethan. He's our captain this year. Pretty decent guy most of the time."

Ethan gives him a dry look, crossing his arms and muttering, "All the time. I'm decent all the time."

Casey ignores him. "And that shorter one over there is Liam."

My eyes dart to the man who is waving at Kai with a kind smile. That must be Rachel's boyfriend.

"And Mr. Cool back there with the dark hair… that's Asher."

"'Sup." The man lifts his chin, and Kai gives him a shy smile.

Casey leans in with a stage whisper. "Don't let his charm fool you. The guy's a total dork."

Kai giggles while Asher rolls his eyes, then gets nudged aside by another player.

"Don't forget me." He waves his hand, moving to the front of the pack and grinning up at me. "Hi there. I'm Connor."