45. Baxter

CHAPTER 45

BAXTER

I stayed away from the house for as long as I could.

I walked so far that Fezzik ran out of steam and I had to carry him most of the way back. Poor little guy. It was selfish of me to go so far, but I couldn't stand the thought of watching Tammy and Kai drive away.

By the time I get back to the house, Lani and Asher are there, along with Liam, who obviously came back to comfort a distraught Rachel. Why is she so destroyed? It's not like her heart just drove off down the highway.

The second she sees me, her eyes start to glisten, and she bunches a tissue into her eyes.

"They're gone. They left about half an hour ago."

I nod, not saying anything as I get myself a glass of water.

"She was pretty upset. Trying to hold it together for Kai, but… you could tell she was wrecked."

Clenching my jaw, I grip the sink and fight the urge to smash my glass on the floor.

"How could you let her go so easily?" Lani's voice is soft, but there's a measure of heat underlying her tone.

I snap my eyes toward her and notice Asher rise a little higher in his chair, putting a protective arm around her shoulders.

I glare at him, too, unable to find any words to make this better.

How could I let her go?

Because I love her, and I want what's best for her!

Hudson is Kai's father.

He'll give her security, which is obviously what she wants.

All I can offer is… fuck, I don't even know what I can offer. It's not like I've got a high-paying job or a nice car.

I can't fucking give her anything!

You'd give her your whole heart, and you'd never cheat on her. Ever!

Yeah, well, I'm sure Hudson said he wasn't going to do that again either. That fucker better keep his word. He better step up and be the best fucking husband on the planet.

She was happy with him once.

She can be happy with him again.

And that's all I want for Tammy—her happiness.

It doesn't matter how I feel.

My friends are all still staring at me, expecting some kind of answer. There's probably not enough that I can say to satisfy them, so I settle for a gruff "She made her choice, and I wasn't going to stand in her way."

"But… you love her."

"And she loves him." I give them a pointed look before stalking out of the room and running upstairs.

It takes me all of two seconds to decide to pack a bag and hit the road.

That's what I do when life gets to be too much.

And right now… it's way too fucking much.

I call to find a replacement coach for my Mini Mites, giving lame excuses about my dad needing me, then saying quick goodbyes to my friends, ignoring their confused frowns and myriad questions.

"Are you coming back?" Rachel chases me outside, while Liam scoops up Fezzik and tries to hold him still.

Throwing my bag in the back, I glance over my shoulder and give her a half-hearted nod. "Probably. I'll keep you posted."

"Please don't run away."

"I'm not," I grit out. "I'm gonna go see my dad."

"Just for a visit, though, right?" Lani steps onto the porch, crossing her arms with a stern frown. "You'd better get your ass back here when you're done."

A faint smile curls my lips before I slip into the car and start the engine. It roars to life, and I shoot out of the driveway, keeping my eyes on the road ahead and not letting myself look back.