Chapter Sixteen

Kiandra

Something peculiar had transpired since the onset of our voyage. I found myself confined to the cabin, permitted only to venture onto the deck under vigilant guard. Cartan would return in the dead of night, and the mere sensation of the bed shifting or the sound of the door closing would render me wet and yearning for him. We would engage in frenzied mating, our bodies communicating what words could not. He would purr me to slumber, only for me to awaken in the morning, bereft of his presence.

The bed felt empty without him, especially since it was designed to accommodate an Alpha's form. I despised the fact that, after merely two weeks at sea, I had grown to miss him. I loathed the intensity of my yearning, but I consoled myself, recognizing it as an inevitable consequence. According to my extensive studies, an Omega spending an extended duration with the same Alpha would inevitably form a profound attachment. Familiarity would breed a sense of security until she could no longer resist the urge to claim him.

Yet Cartan had not marked me, intensifying my unease about whether I was adequately safeguarded from being shared among the other clan leaders. This distance he had imposed between us only exacerbated my apprehension. Additionally, each time I did encounter him, all we could think of was mating, as we had been separated throughout the day. Somewhere within the recesses of my mind, I understood why we were ensnared in this pattern, yet the specific terminology eluded me. Without my books, I was unable to pinpoint precisely what was transpiring between us.

I was aware of the innate attraction, the magnetic pull between Alphas and Omegas, but it seemed our capacity for rational thought diminished with each day spent apart. Why was this the case? I knew the answer. It was on the tip of my tongue.

"Come on, Kiandra, think," I admonished myself as I sat by the sizable window overlooking the ocean. I hoped the tranquil seascape might help my contemplation, but my thoughts incessantly gravitated toward Cartan. His golden complexion, marked by the scars and battles he had endured, only accentuated his allure. I delighted in running my fingers through his short, dark hair, tracing the sharp contours of his jawline, and feeling the texture of his closely trimmed beard. However, what brought even greater pleasure was when my fingers descended to explore his bared chest and abdomen, igniting a fervor within me.

"Gods," I moaned, shaking my head. I was supposed to discern an explanation for my loss of control, yet I was spiraling further into my desires. This was unlike me, and I stood up, pacing the room. I wore no clothing because on the second night, Cartan had returned and ripped my dress before mounting me, our union culminating in a blissful, ecstatic entwinement.

"Again!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms wide, utterly at a loss. I needed to regain my focus, to decipher how to emerge from this bewildering haze. Perhaps my heat was approaching sooner than I anticipated. Maybe it had been influencing me all along. That had to be the explanation, right? Cartan appeared to have no trouble distancing himself from me, as he carried out his duties on the ship. Yet, I found it impossible to divert my thoughts from him even for a brief respite.

In my frustration, I leaned forward, placing my hand against the glass, and looking at the powerful waves. The serene view provided some measure of solace, and I inhaled deeply, trying to banish all thoughts of the magnificent Alpha.

"Think of your sisters," I whispered to myself, and I did, finding relief in envisioning them. I fervently hoped they had successfully escaped, vanishing into the vast, unfamiliar world beyond. Despite my desire for their freedom, Cartan had raised a disconcerting point: how well would they fare in the unknown place?

I could picture Cassia rallying a band of outlaws, ruling them with an iron grip, making the roads perilous for travelers. A smile graced my lips at the thought of her as a formidable bandit. Vivina, on the other hand, would undoubtedly be tirelessly working to reclaim her throne, amassing supporters through the sheer force of her eloquent persuasion.

As for Solana, she had teetered on the brink of despair when we were surrounded from all sides. How would she navigate this harsh world? Were they sticking together, or had circumstances driven them apart? The thought of their separation weighed heavily on my mind.

"Oh no," I groaned, sensing my thoughts gaining newfound dominance. Once again, I found myself ensnared by the enigma of my sisters' well-being, an agonizing unknown that tormented my psyche. As these thoughts intensified, an insatiable yearning for Cartan welled up within me. I wasn't entirely taken aback by my response.

My instincts wanted to restore balance, yet it troubled me that I was gravitating toward him. My purpose had been to wield power, to show that Omegas possessed a degree of control. However, I began to doubt whether my knowledge could be effectively applied in the real world. While some aspects seemed to align, my current behavior defied reason. How could I yearn for someone who had taken so much from me?

I should have been consumed by nothing but disdain, and yet an inexplicable warmth stirred in my lower abdomen, while my slick coated my thighs and pussy. How could this be happening to me? I sought refuge in the notion that it was my impending heat, but I couldn't deny the sudden and profound need that had arisen.

I craved Cartan, but he would not return until nightfall. My eyes roamed the room, desperately seeking something to help my yearning. They landed upon the furs, and an unusual compulsion overcame me. I approached them, irresistibly drawn to bring them to my nose and inhale deeply. As the scent enveloped me, my body quivered with delight.

A compulsion to gather the furs and create a pile seized me, akin to … I recoiled, hissing, and cast the fur in my hand to the floor. Colliding with the table at the center of the room, I abruptly comprehended what I had been doing—I had been trying to nest! Panic set in as I stumbled to the floor, clutching my head. If I was nesting, my heat had to be close, right? It couldn't possibly be because I yearned for the security of Cartan's presence, driving me to create a private place for us, could it?

I groaned, my body quivering as I rocked back and forth. What was happening to me? I was not this primal creature. I could be slightly clumsy, somewhat disconnected from the world beneath my feet, but I was in control, intelligent, always composed. Yet now, my body constantly betrayed me, yielding to instincts and reducing me to precisely what I vehemently resisted—nothing more than an Omega. It was a harrowing thought.