Chapter Eleven

Conrad

I fell asleep easily, cozy and warm from the day we’d had. From the moment I heard Natalie giggle until the time I climbed into bed, the day had been magical—filled with Christmas cheer I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Today wasn’t about going through the motions—it was just fun. Everything, from the hot cocoa to the cookies to the little ornaments we picked up at the shops amplified my Christmas spirit. Even the silly passport prize was treasured, Natalie slipping her prized bookmark under her pillow, so proud to have earned it.

I woke up with the moon high in the sky. My initial instinct was to try to go back to sleep, but I was thirsty, and the only thing that would happen if I willed myself back to sleep without getting a drink was dreaming of being thirsty and unable to find a glass of water. I’d made that bad choice far too many times over the course of my life. I wasn’t going to ruin a great day with a bad night’s sleep. Instead, I opted to save myself from that fate and got up, careful not to wake Natalie from her slumber, and padded into the kitchen for a drink.

As I poured a glass of water, movement caught my eye outside the window. I took a long drink, watching the view, hoping to see what was out there. I didn’t see movement again, but something told me whatever I caught out of the corner of my eye was still there.

I set the glass down and walked closer.

Before I even reached the window, a bear passed it.

At first, my thought was to wake Natalie. Here in the moonlight, I could easily make the excuse that the fairies weren’t around, so it was best to stay inside. She’d love it.

But as I stepped closer, I got a better look. Something about the bear called to me. Something told me he was more than just a bear.

I slipped on my boots and stepped outside, the snow still falling. The bear stopped and looked at me.

“Is that…is that you, Bert?” I sounded half crazy—maybe entirely crazy. Who talks to a bear? Who thinks a bear is a human? Me. That’s who. I wasn’t even sure why I thought so, but something told me it was him.

Instead of being startled and running away like a bear should, or, worse, running at me because I startled them—something I hadn’t even considered until that moment—he lumbered toward me very, very slowly.

His big, furry head bobbed up and down as if nodding. That was ridiculous, though, wasn’t it? Bears don’t nod.

But this wasn’t a bear.

“Bert…you’re beautiful,” I whispered.

Maybe this was a dream and I hadn’t woken at all but was still wrapped in my comfy blanket. But if it was a dream, I wasn’t ready for it to end.

He reached the steps, and then, where a bear once stood, there was Bert. “You recognized me.”

“Yeah…don’t ask me how though. I just knew it was you. I don’t pretend to understand it. I don’t really understand anything about what’s been happening since I got here. It’s like I know you, but also, I don’t.” I stopped short of telling him my blossoming feelings, the ones I kept trying to ignore—trying very, very unsuccessfully.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to make sense of it. “Do you understand what’s going on? With me, I mean. Is it because you’re a bear?”

“It’s not because I’m a bear, not really.”

He took another step closer, reaching up tentatively and placing his hand on my cheek. It was warm to the touch, not cold like the air around us and he was naked.

I registered that fact distantly, but all I could focus on were his eyes. They were human, yet I still saw the bear in them. It was as if he were two beings at once.

“Do you know about shifters?” he asked. “That’s what I am.”

I started to shake my head, but instead, I found myself leaning into his touch. “I don’t. But I know you and this might not make sense, but I feel like I really know you.”

His thumb ran along my cheekbone. “That’s because we’re mates.”

“Mates?”

“Remember when we were talking about not having kids, and I said I wanted someone to spend my life with?”

“Yeah.” At the time, I’d felt bad that Natalie had brought it up.

“Well, that was only half the truth. I didn’t want just anyone. I was waiting for you. My mate. It means, someone chosen by Fate and the goddess, someone made just for me.”

“And you think that…that mate is me?”

“I know it is. My bear sensed it the second we met. And I think you did too. Didn’t you wonder why you weren’t nervous about me talking to Natalie outside?”

I thought back to when I walked out and saw him debating bears frolicking. How different that conversation looked now that I’d met Bert’s bear. I didn’t remember mentioning my nerves or lack thereof.

“How did you know I wasn’t nervous?” I wasn’t freaked out, more curious.

“Because humans, when they’re nervous, their heartbeats change, their breathing changes. There are lots of clues, and you had none of them.” He’d been paying attention.

“So…what does this mean? This ‘mate’ thing?” The only understanding I had of the word directly correlated with sex. This felt much bigger than sex, although now that sex entered my mind, it somehow came front and center.

It wasn’t my fault Bert was hotter than heck and completely naked.

It was difficult, but I refused to let my eyes wander as he went on to explain that mates were destined to spend the rest of their lives together. It was like marriage, but a perfect marriage, guided by fate. While I was able to pick up a lot, I missed some, my desire to lean forward and taste his lips, run my fingers across his skin, press my hardness against him kept getting in my way.

“I know that things with you and Mark are still raw—how could they not be? And he was important to you and Natalie. There’s no part of me that wants his memory squashed, but I’d like…I’d like it if you gave us a chance.”

“It’s not that they’re raw, not really.” I wanted him to understand. “It’s that we had everything planned out. Organized. Ready. And then, all of a sudden, with that one accident, everything changed. Yes, I missed him. I still do. He was my best friend, and I loved him.” And nothing would change that. “But, over time, it’s been more about trying to figure out how to make all those dreams happen on my own that I struggle with. I feel inadequate. Like I’m not good enough for her.”

“Trust me, Conrad,” Bert said, his voice low and steady. “You are everything that little girl needs. Look what you did for her by coming here. This wasn’t in your plans.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Not even close. “But I’m glad we came.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I didn’t think about what it meant or the consequences—I just needed to feel his touch.

He kissed me back, softly at first then with more intensity. A cool wind cut between us, and I realized how cold it was out here for the first time. I’d been so distracted that somehow I missed it.

I had boots on and some clothing. Bert, however, was completely naked. We needed to get inside. I didn’t want to move though. It would break the magic. “It’s too cold out here. We’ll get sick.”

“I… Yes, of course.” Something told me he didn’t feel the cold the way I would, had I been the naked one.

We walked back inside together, but I wasn’t ready to say good night. I didn’t want to leave him. But standing out here with him buck-ass naked, where Natalie could walk out at any moment, wasn’t a good idea, either.

“I should go to bed.” Still, I didn’t move.

“Or?”

“Or?” I wanted to instantly agree to whatever the or was, anything not to have to walk away.

“Or maybe… Do you want a sleepover in my room?”

“A grown-up sleepover?” I’d be fine if it was just the two of us sitting in his room talking the night away, but now that I’d taken a look at his full body, naked fun sounded even better. The answer was yes, regardless, I just wanted to be sure I knew what I was agreeing to.

“Very grown-up.”

I smiled, reached for his hand, and pulled him toward his room. I wanted nothing more than a good old-fashioned adult sleepover.