9. Ugly > Bitch

Chapter 9

Ugly Bitch

Sinclair

“ I think getting these was the best decision I’ve ever made,” I say and kick off the dock to make my chocolate-doughnut-inspired inner tube spin. The lake water under me is cool and refreshing, while the sunshine warms my limbs and face.

I’ve never cherished the subtle touch of the sun like I do now. After my time at the Doll House, each warm breeze and streak of soft light carries a beauty it didn’t before.

Lively color has returned to my skin after months in that dark, dank place. I even saw a few faint freckles dusting my cheekbones in the mirror this morning.

A fate worse than death is starting to feel more like a breath of new life.

“Were you still at the brotherhood night when everything happened with the Cobalt omega?” Paisley asks, floating on a blow up raft that looks like a slice of key lime pie, her light-brown skin glowing even warmer under the sun.

“No, I don’t think so. What happened?”

“One of their Elders touched her and had an alpha aversion, and because he’s an old fart”—she huffs with clear disgust—“it was like he had a goddamn heart attack. Fell on the floor wheezing, clutching his chest, the whole bit.”

“Did he not know she was bonded?” I ask, and my fingers automatically go to my own claiming bites, tracing the slightly raised, scarred skin.

“No, he did ,” she adds dramatically, “but apparently, it’s their family’s tradition to give blanket permission to all Cobalt Elders.” I make a grossed out face and she nods. “It gets worse though. Once he was done getting fussed over, he demanded she apologize for disrespecting him.”

“ She? ” I balk. “Why was it her fault?”

“Because isn’t it always the omega’s fault?” she says cynically, and I wonder if behind closed doors, Paisley and her alphas aren’t the happy, fated mates they seem to be. She trails her fingertips through the water wistfully and continues, “It was awful. You could tell her mate did not want to give permission, but by then, the entire brotherhood was watching.”

“So he gave it,” I finish. It’s not even a question. It’s just the way things are in this world.

“Yeah, I grabbed my boys once the Elder told her to make it up to him on her knees. We left. We weren’t going to watch that.” There’s rust in Paisley’s usually polished voice. My own stomach churns.

I recall my first days here when the Cyan Elder demanded I be punished for my own show of disrespect. The humiliation I felt was ten times worse than the slap of Titus’s palm. But a slap, I can take. It’s a split second of embarrassment, and at least I could stand proud in how I took it with a brave face.

But to get on my knees for some old man in front of everyone?

It wasn’t even her own actions that got her there.

A fate worse than death . . .

Could that still be true? Maybe here in this place, the warmth of the sun is just disguising the heat of hell.

“ Ladiesss ,” an obnoxiously saccharine voice sing-songs.

“Oh god, what does she want?” Paisley grumbles as we both sit up in our floats to see Merigold flitting over to us in a cotton-candy-pink skirt.

The heels of her stilettos sink into the grass as she works her way over to us. She exhales dramatically when she reaches the dock. “Whew, these are not the shoes for this.” Her ensuing fake laugh is cloying.

“How can we help you, Merigold?” Paisley seems to have no patience for the Cyan omega’s usual antics today.

Her shoes clack on the wooden dock as she walks to the edge where we’re floating. “A bunch of us are going into town for manis and pedis and wanted to see if you two are interested in coming.”

The friendly invitation immediately sets off alarm bells in my head.

“Who is us? ” I ask.

“The other Trial omegas—poor Angel has been in such a mood since the brotherhood night.”

I assume Angel is the Cobalt omega and subtly look to Paisley, who confirms with a small nod.

“Well, anyway.” Merigold flaps her hand. “We’re leaving in ten if you’re coming.”

Her uncharacteristic niceness is still making me uneasy, so I let Paisley answer first as I try to read the situation.

“Not today. Thanks for the invite though,” Paisley says with obligatory politeness, but there’s nothing friendly or grateful in her tone.

Merigold turns to me. “Sinclair?”

“I’m good.”

“Are you sure? I bet your alphas would appreciate it if you put in a little effort. You’re not living in some ramshackle whorehouse anymore. It’s okay to actually care about how you look.”

I laugh, my unease evaporating. “Ah, there she is. That’s the Merigold I know.” I look her in the eyes, and she glares back. “Have fun though, maybe they can do something about your personality too.”

I push off the dock and spin away in my tube. I hear Paisley laugh as I close my eyes and smile.

“Whatever, I was just trying to be nice.” Merigold huffs, and I listen to her heels stomp away.

I ask Paisley to bring my cup of water before she floats out to meet me, then I return to my peace.

I’d rather be ugly than a bitch.

“I think I might call it a day,” I tell Paisley, picking up my water cup and disappointed to find it empty. My stomach cramps and gurgles as I sit up to paddle to the dock. “I’m not feeling too great.”

“What’s wrong?” she asks, sliding down to the edge of her raft to kick her way back.

“Eh, it’s just a stomachache.” I blow it off, but I actually feel a little queasy.

When I climb out of the water, a spell of lightheadedness comes over me. I stagger, almost falling over.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Paisley asks, concerned, hurrying up the dock ladder.

I steady myself. “Yeah, just a head rush. I haven’t eaten much today.”

She doesn’t look convinced, but there’s nothing wrong with me. It was probably just too much sun on an empty stomach.

I bend over to pick up my towel and try to hide the grimace from a wave of nausea as I stand back up. “I’m probably a little dehydrated, that’s all.”

“Okay, you head back, and I’ll handle tying these up.” She nods toward the floats.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, go on and let your alphas take care of you.” She gives me a wink and an encouraging smile, but for some reason, the thought of Bishop and Ecker fussing over me makes my stomach churn even more.

“Yeah, okay.” I try to keep the distaste in my mouth from seeping into my voice and throw on my sundress over my suit.

The walk across the lawns feels twice as long as it did this morning. My stomach is still unsettled, but I don’t get any more lightheadedness, which is promising. I’ll take a nap when I get back, and by the time I wake up for dinner, I’m sure I’ll be feeling fine.

Stepping into the cool building of the Estate is a breath of fresh air, making me even more convinced it was just a touch of heat exhaustion. I curse this giant ass place and its winding hallways. I just want to be in bed already.

I cut through a drawing room that leads to a back staircase. Penelope has shown me all the shortcuts, and the doors to this room are always propped open. I’m halfway across the room when the sound of the doors closing startles me.

Three figures loom in front of the now closed doors.

A cold, mocking voice fills the room.

“ Where are your alphas now? ”