13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

Kamir made sure he was sitting close to Tsaria when they met in the private office belonging to Raz. Food and drink were served, then cleared away, leaving Raz, Attiker, Mansala, Veda, the dowager queen, Tam, and Ash. Carter, the trusted palace chamberlain, was also there, and after a few minutes a man he didn’t know slipped into the room and bowed his head when Raz glanced his way, then took a seat. He was introduced as Captain Thakeray. Finally, Gerry was shown inside, removing his cap and bowing to the king. Tsaria found it quite amusing when he’d referred to him as a “lad” not too long ago.

Attiker summarized what had happened with Eldara, while everyone seemed to sit in shocked silence.

Raz glanced at his grandmother. “Have you heard of this?”

She shook her head. “The only story passed down to me was of Prince Algred and his dragon-shifter omega. I’ve never heard of a Dragoran .”

“That’s the story I was told?” Kamir queried.

“Fourteen hundred summers ago, there was a similar challenge to the throne of Cadmeera as the one we just went through,” Attiker explained. “It was rumored that Algred had a pet dragon, when it was actually his omega who could shift into a dragon. Beast-masters were sent out to make sure the challenge would be lost by slaughtering what dragons they could find. Algred’s omega was killed and Algred died shortly afterwards.”

“Up until Attiker met Eldara, it was thought they were extinct,” her highness added.

“Could Algred shift?” Kamir asked.

“Of course. He had a wolf,” Raz exclaimed.

“Hmm,” Raz’s grandmother sounded skeptical. “I’m not convinced, but unlike you two in this case it was the omega that shifted, not the alpha.”

Kamir glanced over at his sister and met her understanding gaze. Maybe it was time to come clean. He looked at Raz. “You trust everyone in this room.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.

Raz inclined his head. “With the most important thing in my life.” He reached over and took Attiker’s hand, making it clear who he meant. Attiker rolled his eyes but looked pleased.

“While I do not believe in outdated designations, it has always been apparent to me,” Kamir said, “even as a young child, that I haven’t the heart of a ruler. If it were possible, I would stand down in favor of my sister. The only reason I want to accept the crown is to save my people from the cruelty of my uncle and his sons, Iskar and Damatrious. I am unsurprised it is the omega in the relationship that shifts.”

“But Highness, I’m not a prince,” Tsaria rushed out.

Grandmother interrupted as everyone started talking. “Your beasts don’t care for titles. It’s a simple accident of birth that decides that.” She glanced at Tsaria. “You have shown immense strength from what I have seen. Indeed, if you are, as Eldara seems to think, the Dragoran, then that makes perfect sense to me.”

“I would also like to point out that my omega is the strongest person I know,” Raz said quietly.

Attiker grinned and whispered way too loudly. “You are so getting lucky later.”

“Raz’mar,” her highness drawled. “Can you discuss your bedroom habits later?”

Raz groaned, but Attiker grinned unrepentantly.

Carter coughed politely. “Actually, the alpha and omega designation traditionally used to refer to a breeding couple only. Same-sex couples, especially within the ruling families, have been extremely rare.”

“Hey,” Veda objected. “Are you saying girls are only good enough to breed?”

Carter stammered his apologies. “No, Highness, not at all. I’m simply repeating ancient history.”

Kamir looked pointedly at his sister and hoped she might remember they were guests, and that Raz’mar was going out of his way to help them.

“So, leaving the preconceived ideas of designation out of the discussion, because ancient roles have no place here,” Thakeray said, “what’s the significance of the Dragoran?”

Attiker glanced at Gerry. “Can you explain what you told me, and anything else you might know?”

Gerry cleared his throat. “It was ‘er ‘ighness that told me when we were looking at trying to grow the lilies.”

“Do you mean my mother?” Raz asked.

“Aye, Sire. She was a great reader, as you know, and she spent months looking over every old book or scroll she could get ‘er ‘ands on. She came in one day all excited ‘cos she’d read this legend about something called the king of dragons.”

Carter coughed again. “Actually, the translation from the old tongue would be more accurately Alpha of Dragons .”

“Which makes sense,” Kamir murmured and glanced at Tsaria, who looked horrified. Kamir took his hand, uncaring for what anyone thought. Tsaria glanced down at their joined hands in shock but curled his fingers tighter in Kamir’s.

“Well,” Gerry carried on, warming to his story. “This ‘ere alpha never changed to a dragon ‘imself but could change his mate.”

“Mate?” Veda repeated.

Mate. Kamir’s heart hammered in his chest. He’d hoped, and he dared not look at Tsaria. To say they needed time to talk was like saying the endless desert had some sand.

“Aye,” Gerry answered. “It wasn’t like he could go around changing everyone else. They had to be true mates for it to work.”

True mates? Kamir’s heart beat even faster.

“But Algred was a wolf,” Raz said. “That makes no sense.”

“Actually, your Highness,” Carter interrupted apologetically. “After last year, I decided to do some reading about the ancient challenges, and there was never any question originally that Algred had a wolf, with one caveat. Algred had an identical twin brother.”

“How interesting,” her highness remarked. “And of course, in those days the ruling family were never to shift in front of anyone except in times of great peril.”

“Wait,” Raz said. “Are you telling me Algred couldn’t shift, but because of his brother, they managed to fool everyone?”

“The dowager queen would have known,” Carter said. “According to history, the brothers were very different. Algred was the eldest by nearly half a bell and excelled at horse-riding, jousting, and all tournaments. A natural leader. He was also skilled in negotiation. Beowen was the complete opposite and excelled at his letters and books, but he was rumored to be mute. It isn’t beyond the realm of possibility that the king was in on the deception for what he felt would be the good of the kingdom. There were a lot of warring tribes then, and if Beowen was named his successor, there would have been many challenges.”

“’Er ‘ighness also said that these Dragorans were very rare and were supposed to be the direct descendants of the first dragon that mated with a human. That’s how I knew you’d be able to touch the pod.”

It made so much sense, Kamir thought.

“It still brings us back to you needing to shift again in front of witnesses,” Raz said.

Kamir started a little, lost as he had been in his memories, and Tsaria clutched his hand as if he was frightened he would let go, when Tsaria seemed to be the only thing capable of anchoring him to the here and now. “We need to ask Eldara.”

“I did,” Attiker said. “And she said she’s a dragon, not a shifter, and doesn’t know, but she says you’re important. Apparently she recognized your lineage, your blood.”

“Wouldn’t Algred have had these?” Tsaria said, holding his arm out. He didn’t raise the other and Kamir was glad. He still wanted to hold it.

“Possibly, but it could have been duplicated with henna easily enough on Beowen,” Attiker said.

Kamir agreed, then scraped his chair back and stood, bowing respectfully. “It has been a long day for us all, and while the threat to the village children is of immense importance, may I suggest we attempt to talk to Eldara tomorrow?” He needed to get Tsaria back to their rooms. Have some normal time with Jael who he felt had been neglected, then talk.

It didn’t seem it would be that easy, though. Raz wanted Kamir to accompany him to go over some trade agreements that were vital because he had three ships worth of goods docked, destined for Rajpur, and they couldn’t unload unless both Raz and Kamir signed off on it.

Attiker was kissed within an inch of his life by Raz and Tsaria was insanely jealous. He got a palm laid across his cheek and a fond look before Kamir followed Raz and his guards out.

“Have you thought what you’d like to do with the rest of your life?”

Tsaria suddenly realized he and Attiker were alone, and his heart beat painfully. What should he say?

Attiker grinned and stood. “Walk with me?”

Tsaria could hardly refuse and followed Attiker to the far doors and down a short corridor. A guard followed, of course, but apart from an acknowledged smile, Attiker ignored him. “Did you know that I only met Raz because I was arrested for thieving a purse? It was the honor weekend, and he’d sent nearly all his staff into the city to enjoy themselves. I requested a royal hearing because I was desperate to catch a short-sail and I hadn’t taken the purse. Thought it would get me released because he couldn’t be arsed.” Attiker chuckled. “Not that I wasn’t guilty of plenty before, but by that time I was a seeker, and keeping on the straight and narrow. Nobility of all classes were my main customers, so I kept my nose clean.”

Tsaria gaped. He knew Attiker was from the common people. Everyone had heard the story, but he hadn’t known this. “Thing is, Raz didn’t care. He saw good in me I didn’t know existed.” Attiker smirked. “And made me the people’s champion.”

Tsaria had heard of that as well, but he was mostly vague on the details.

“So, I make sure whatever crazy scheme Raz thinks of to help his people is grounded in reality. For example, Raz wanted to declare all shops were closed on a recent holiday, so people didn’t have to work.” Attiker shrugged. “He thought he was helping. He didn’t realize that the shopkeepers on Kingdom Day —when Cadmeera initiated their independence—were so busy that their takings for that weekend were the equivalent of what they would usually earn in nearly two months.” Attiker shot him another smile. “He thought he was doing good until I advised him otherwise. He didn’t realize that implementing it meant a loss of income equivalent to two months earnings.”

“I don’t suppose I would have either,” Tsaria said. “My world was simply getting ready to be fucked and making sure I was good at it.”

He didn’t realize how blunt he’d been until Attiker remained silent. Tsaria glanced over. “Sorry.”

“Why?” Attiker asked. “I don’t apologize for being a thief. I don’t apologize for having a ma that kept a roof over us and crusts in our bellies by going out whoring.” He sighed. “I don’t even apologize for not being able to save her from fever white when her reality became more than she could bear.”

“My ma died when I was born. My fault. And why my father hated me so.”

Attiker glanced at him, pausing for a second as if Tsaria had said something else. “You don’t sound so sure.”

He shrugged. “Sounds ridiculous, but I remember her baking. Or not her, exactly, but the smell. Pretty sure I’m making it up.” Which made no sense if she was dead. He was silent for a long moment and Attiker let him be.

“So back to the rest of your life,” Attiker prompted after a minute.

“Nothing I can do will make any difference,” Tsaria said at last, and they came to a stop in a small courtyard that to Tsaria seemed to overlook the whole kingdom. It was beautiful.

“Because you don’t think you can bring Kamir’s dragon out.” Tsaria didn’t know how to answer, and after another silent moment he looked up to see Attiker gazing softly at him. “But that’s not the problem exactly, is it?” Attiker pushed.

Tsaria struggled to find words.

“Because whether Kamir finds his dragon or doesn’t, you don’t believe it will give you a life. He might get his dragon then learn to shift himself, in which case you’d be unnecessary, or even worse, he might trot you out when he needs to make a display then put you back in your nice little box until he needs you again.” Tsaria didn’t meet Attiker’s eyes. “He could be killed before you get the chance to help him, in which case you’d be dead as well if Gabar ever managed to get his hands on you.”

Attiker tapped his lips with his finger, the picture of great concentration. “Of course, I had it easier. Yeah, attempted kidnap, poison, and drowning sure, but I had a goal. You’ve just got a desire you share with hundreds of thousands of people. It’s not specific enough. Tell me,” Attiker pressed. “Tell me what your future looks like.”

Tsaria thought back to the image of him holding a baby from all that time ago. “I want a family,” he whispered. “And not one where I worry if I have enough to feed them at every meal.” He gazed at Attiker and Attiker smiled.

“You know this title I have?”

Tsaria nodded but squirmed internally. He didn’t want that. He wanted smaller, quieter. He wanted to make food for his kids, even though he would have to learn to cook. He wanted his mate to share their family. To have him wrapped around him every night in bed…

Tsaria wasn’t stupid, despite what Ishmael always told him. He knew the image in his mind was of Kamir. Beautiful dark-skinned amber-eyed babies. Maybe one with grey eyes.

“Well, it’s quite political, and I don’t think something like that would suit you at all.”

Tsaria’s cheeks heated in shame. Attiker thought he was incapable of being a consort as well. Soon Kamir would agree, then—

“The problem with Rajpur is the same as Cadmeera. You have to dismantle a broken system before making it into something we need. That’s got to be a graveyard’s missing shovel harder than starting from zero.”

“A what?” Tsaria repeated, bewildered, but Attiker waved a hand dismissively.

“Name me one thing you want to change, money isn’t an object.”

Tsaria sat back, stunned. Opened his mouth but closed it quickly. He had no idea. There were so many things, but then the memory of the dungeon hit him, and that goddess-awful smell. “I don’t want anyone in the dungeon simply because they are poor.”

Attiker smiled and leaned forward. “Then take that thought and hold it tight, and no matter what you go through in the coming weeks, don’t forget it.”

Jael was full of chatter about his new friends. Apparently, Flynn and Candy had been eelers which Tsaria had vaguely heard of, but more importantly they had a similar background to Jael, and he had started learning his letters in the same way Flynn had last year.

The palace was riddled with secret passages and Jael was being trusted with them all. They discovered a direct line from their suite to the kitchen and knew how to sneak treats from Cookie and run back before anyone was the wiser.

Tsaria laughed delightedly and was so grateful that Jael hadn’t been made to feel unworthy. After they had eaten, he watched Kamir teach Jael to play Shyann . The pieces on the board resembled a wolf king and his pack, and Jael picked it up quickly, moving his roving gammas until they nearly surrounded Kamir’s alpha. Tsaria had never played it himself but had watched it many times. Kamir and Jael seemed to becoming closer, and he knew Kamir was making a real effort despite his worry.

When Jael started struggling to keep his eyes open, Tsaria took him to bed in the small room in the suite Attiker and Raz had given them.

“Candy says I’m always going to be with you.” He said it challengingly like he dared Tsaria to say any different.

Tsaria smoothed his palm down Jael’s cheek. He hated doing this but he couldn’t make promises. “I want nothing more, and every day I know Kamir is trying to make that happen.” He sat back in shock at his own words, but he knew them to be true. Kamir was trying. Jael seemed content at that and closed his eyes. After dawdling and hoping Kamir would have gone to bed when he left Jael, he walked back into the main room.

When he returned to the day room, planning to cross to their bedroom, he saw that Kamir had poured them each a glass of wine.

“I think we need to talk about today,” Kamir said.

“Highness,” Tsaria acknowledged as if he’d been given an order and then sat down, pressing his hands together to keep them still.

“Do you distance yourself for protection or out of habit? I wouldn’t blame you for either reason.”

Tsaria widened his eyes, not expecting to be called out on his continued use of Kamir’s title and scrambled for an excuse. “I worry I will call you the wrong thing when it matters.” It was a lie, but it sounded better than admitting he still didn’t trust Kamir’s motives.

“And I told you it will never matter,” Kamir said. “It was you that insisted on using my title.” Tsaria kept his head down, not knowing what to say. He was silent too long.

“When are we going to acknowledge what Gerry said about us being mates?”

He couldn’t breathe. Never. He stood. “I’m not what they said.”

“A dragon alpha?”

He looked up and met those amber eyes he lusted after. “I’m a nobody,” he whispered, then in a blink, he was off his feet and nestled on Kamir’s lap. It took him a moment to work out how that happened, and then the tears came. A huge unbreathable wave of sorrow swamped him and he cried like he hadn’t since he was ten and his father had dragged him to Ishmael, who was standing by the cages displaying the day’s whores at the Market of All Souls.

Alain and Tomas, his two older brothers, had followed their dad with morbid fascination as he dragged him up the hill. Alain had even cried. Promised Dad he would share all his meals with Tsaria so it wouldn’t cost extra to feed him, but Dad had said Alain needed all the food he could get in his belly to work the fields.

Tomas just clamped his mouth closed and watched.

Tsaria had still been sobbing half hysterically when Ishmael—wanting proof he was unspoiled—inserted his greased finger in Tsaria’s ass, before his family walked away without looking back. He was so shocked he hadn’t moved. He hadn’t understood the comments about making him a man until much later when blood and another man’s spend ran down his thighs, and he was in so much pain he couldn’t move.

That had been the day after the market. Apparently, he was lucky because he got food.

But he’d lived. And pushed every violation down deep inside him until today when, for some ungodly reason, they were all clamoring for the surface.

It wasn’t Kamir’s fault, and yet he was blaming him.

And still he cried. He cried until he was exhausted. Until Kamir had undressed him and taken him to the bathing room, not daring to leave him alone, had cared for him like no one had ever done, and finally tucked him against his side and commanded him to sleep.