Chapter 9

Chapter

Nine

Icontinued to try and turn on my dead cell phone, but nothing. It wouldn't turn on.

I could only imagine just how many messages and calls Rita tried to get through to me. I'm surprised she didn't call the police at this point. She did occasionally tend to overreact.

Oh god, what if she had called them?

I could barely concentrate on what I was doing since I left the Prestford pack house. My mind flew in all different directions as I focused on trying to get home. Not to mention I felt… fuzzy.

Maybe that was for the best. I couldn't think too much. I needed to focus.

All that mattered was that somehow, I managed to get myself back to my apartment and into more suitable clothing than the sweats that smelled like the most delicious combination of alpha.

My stomach curled with pleasure as I took deep breaths of it.

Wait. No. No.

Absolutely not.

I quickly rushed the rest of the way, trying to hold my breath. I must"ve looked crazy, as I earned more than a few odd stares as I rushed up the street, blocks from campus.

The possibility that I was slowly progressing from wild to certifiably insane crossed my mind more than once as I ran away from the large, possibly safe mansion I found myself in to stare back into my hazy apartment"s bathroom mirror lined with peeling paint after I pushed through the front door.

"Rita?" I called. There was still no answer.

The pills were still in my medicine cabinet. Nothing in the entire apartment was touched since I disappeared almost three days ago which surprised me more than it should've.

It looked like Rita hadn"t even been home since she was supposed to have been today from her conference. That was something.

But I stared at my pills. But they weren't just pills. They were never just pills. These pills, these suppressants, they were my life savers. My life purpose for the past seven years.

I vaguely remembered one of the alphas mumbling something about how no one used blockers in pill form anymore. They were rarely legally prescribed. I didn't even know if they would work right now let alone if the pills I held in my hands did anything at all at this point.

But I still couldn't believe that. I spent my money on them.

I spent nearly everything I had left on them a week ago.

They have to work.

Taking a deep breath, I downed the two pills dry. My body physically shivered at the choice.

I slammed the cabinet shut when there was a creak down the hallway.

"Hello?"

"Rita?" I quickly made my way back out of the bathroom and into the living room. Rita paused in the doorway as the apartment door shut behind her.

Her eyes widened at me. "Woah, girl. You must've had quite the weekend."

"What?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Cal called me."

"He did?"

"Friday after you guys went out. He didn't realize that I was still at the conference for the weekend, but… are you okay?"

"He called you."

She nodded. "He said your phone died and were getting some sleep but wanted to make sure if I was home, I knew where you were. Kind of sweet."

It was. If that was what happened.

At my stare, Rita cocked her head. "Are you alright?"

"I'm…" I paused, not sure what I should say. "I need to get to work. I'm late."

"Same here." She smiled. "We'll need to meet up though. Dinner? If I'm home later."

"Didn't you just get back?" I looked by her feet for her bags, though I still felt like every movement was so much effort.

"A few hours ago," Rita said. "I went out to coffee with a new friend. I met him at the conference. A new hire turns out."

"You're kidding."

She smiled.

"That's exciting, Rita."

"It… it kind of is. He doesn't even seem like an asshole like the rest of my dates usually," she said. I was happy for her. This was good.

However, when I looked around the apartment, I could only imagine what it meant. More nights alone here in the apartment. Maybe even Rita would want to move out on her own or with someone else soon now that she was steadier and not on a constant academic warpath. She would probably even move to another university soon with better funding and opportunities.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look a little sick."

"Of course. I'm fine."

Rita didn't look convinced but smiled as if this was my usual antics when I was feeling under the weather and couldn't take off.

"I can't wait to hear more about this guy," I said.

"And I want to hear all about your steamy weekend with that cutie," said Rita, still smiling. Charge your phone when you get to work, and I'll message you if I get out early.

"Sounds good."

"Um, El?" Rita hedged.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to change first?"

I looked down at the sweats I was still dressed in. "Oh. Right."

"I didn't think Cal was that large."

I just shrugged, turning back towards my small room to quickly change, ignoring the question, and trying to piece back together my life when everything suddenly felt… wrong with each layer I took off.

Rita and I headed quickly toward campus. I could get to the library blind from my apartment after so many days of following the same routine and route, and today as Rita chatted about her conference, I zoned out as best I could so that I didn't feel like I was about to fall over until we parted ways.

Sweat pooled along my hairline as I made it to the large building I spent more time in than anywhere else in the past seven years. This was where I was supposed to be safe. This was where I was meant to be.

No fear. No judgment. Only work.

I pushed open the front door, waving to the circulation desk where a librarian sat I didn't recognize. I never walked into work so late at this time of day. I never came back up from the archives unless there was an emergency until the end of my shift.

I made it to the stairs leading down into the pits of the library–

"Miss Jones."

I froze, my foot wobbling over the steps.

Peeking out of his office around the corner, I couldn"t pretend as if I hadn't heard him. Mr. Wolfern called me back with a short nod of his head when he caught my eye. "If I could have a moment of your time?"

Fuck.

I was almost shocked as I swore.

Cal must've been rubbing off on me more than I thought. At the thought of him, a new rush of fire climbed up my neck and I froze.

No. I was fine.

It was warm out for the start of fall. There were always days like this every year. It was just normal heat.

Not a heat.

Clearing my throat, I looked around the couches. There were only a few other students, their scents sharp with sweat and caffeine from sugary energy drinks.

I wanted to gag.

I glanced around for a trash can just in case it happened.

Once I made it to the librarian's office, Mr. Wolfern narrowed his eyes when I didn't immediately step inside. "Please, come in."

I attempted to hold my breath from the distinct smell of alpha, only this time it had a strong bitter edge.

Mr. Wolfern looked more rugged than he usually did. Then again, as a librarian around here, most of us were in a constant state of either looking perfect or ragged. He was teetering towards the latter with crisp frown lines marring his expression. "Are you well, Miss Jones?"

I tried to breathe through my mouth when I had to gulp air. It didn't help. "Yes. Of course."

"I noticed you were a bit late. You look under the weather."

I forced myself to swallow again and forced a small smile. "I'm fine. Thank you."

He still seemed unsure, but clearly wasn't about to argue. He gestured down towards the seat in front of his desk. "Please, sit."

Holding my breath, my heart raced as I sat down, fidgeting as I sat down on the rough knit of the standard office supply chair, stiff and uncomfortable. My head spun. I held onto the wooden armrests tightly.

Oh fuck.

I was swearing again. But I was still sweating.

A line of perspiration dripped down the back of my neck before I could casually wipe it away, rolling out my neck.

Mr. Wolfern couldn"t tell that, could he?

Luckily, it didn't seem like Mr. Wolfern was looking at me at all now. He paced behind his desk as if he too was uncomfortable as he spoke about… I didn't catch what he said. "I hope you understand."

Wait, what?

"I'm sorry." I blinked. "I wasn't paying attention. I apologize. What was that?"

Mr. Wolfern closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "We are minimizing staff throughout the administrative offices on campus."

"Huh?"

"I'm almost certain you heard me this time, Miss Jones," he stared at me sadly, hands clasped in front of him.

I shook my head. "But…"

This couldn't have been happening.

"Are you firing me?"

"I've been tasked with unfortunately letting you and our other newer junior librarians go," Mr. Wolfern clarified with a pained clench of his jaw. "We went back and forth between furloughs and layoffs, but ultimately yes, the university is letting you go."

Letting me go. I knew what he was saying and yet it was taking much longer for my brain to understand the words.

"I'm sorry and will be happy to write you a letter of recommendation for wherever you go," he explained.

"I... I..." I couldn't stop blinking, feeling the thick emotion swell and for the first time in my life, it felt like I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop it.

"You of course are welcome to leave immediately. I do not expect you to give us time as the university did not give you any before this decision was made."

I was drowning. Everything had fallen apart and there was no way to fix it.

My heart rate picked up. I was unable to calm down as I gasped for air and with it, I knew exactly what it happened. My perfume of sour berries leaked out of me, thick and rancid in scent as I tried to form the words.

I always thought about if this happened or when I decided I needed to leave Prestford, what I would say. I'd say something about how I valued the experience here or simply that I understood and left.

But I didn't need to do or say anything.

The moment my scent permeated the office, Mr. Wolfern choked on it. His eyes widened in shock. I could see the moment it happened. It took another moment for either of us to come to terms with what was happening right in front of us whether or not we wanted to acknowledge it.

Mr. Wolfern cleared his throat. "It looks like there may be some other extenuating factors as well going on."

I shook my head, ever in denial though I knew it was stupid. What was the point of lying anymore? "It's not what you think."

Only, it was.

God, of course, it was. And how was I supposed to hide it now? What was I supposed to do?

Run. I had to run.

"You're not a beta, are you, Miss Jones?" Mr. Wolfern took a step from behind his desk.

I flinched, trying to scoot myself back, but there was only so far I could go into the chair"s scratchy cushion.

Calmly, he raised his hand as if to keep the distance between us. His voice was soft, almost soothing. "I'm not going to come near you."

I pressed my hands against my hot face. My suppressants were no longer working. I just took them and yet they weren't working.

Had they ever been working?

It didn't matter. Everything was over and I was falling apart. I was fired. I no longer was going to have a good enough paying job so that I could support myself.

I let my brother down...

"Hold on a moment."

Before I could ask what it was exactly he was doing, Mr. Wolfern moved towards the partially closed door, getting someone's attention.

This was it. They were going to call the authorities and I was screwed. I was going to be locked up or pawned off into a nasty dangerous pack of alphas or whatever Omega Services did with omegas that never registered when they first presented.

Could they put me in some kind of omega jail? Was that where I was going to end up? At least I knew that in some prisons there were still libraries, even if the books were probably old and bent and out of date.

Illegal to harbor unbonded omegas.

Another figure came through the doorway though, eyes wide. I could tell that even though my tears at some point started to pour down my cheeks.

"Hi." A young woman about my age knelt in front of me.

Her red hair was just as wild as I remembered outside the science building last week. It felt like months ago.

"I think we met before?"

Swallowing, I nodded.

"Miss Jones," Mr. Wolfern said softly, shutting the door mostly shut as he came back in. "I hope you don't mind. This is my omega, Lidya. She was waiting for me to finish work for the day. I thought she would make you more comfortable."

Lena's eyes sparkled up at Mr. Wolfern as if she were delighted by this new introduction.

"This was the person I was telling you about a while ago, Rylan. This was the omega I saw before I met you at your meeting," she babbled. "The one I thought was an omega though it didn't make any sense."

"Remind me never to mistrust your nose."

She scrunched her freckles up on her nose with a smile. Her happy expression dropped when she looked back at me, however. Immediately she placed her hands on top of mine, pulling them away from my eyes and holding them in her palms.

A warm ease settled over me. For so long, I didn"t like anyone touching me, not even Rita. Now it felt good. Too good. I wanted to grab on and force her to never let go of me.

"Hey, it's okay," said Lidya. "You don't need to be afraid. My alpha is a good one. Plus, I'm here to help."

I sniffed, trying and failing to compose myself.

"Lidya, this is Ella Jones."

"Aw, look at us. The four-letter name crew," she joked, though it wasn't that funny. "Are you okay?"

I thought about lying and making a run for it, but I knew that wasn't possible. I shook my head.

Lidya's brow furrowed as she studied me. "You don't seem like you're going into heat. You don't smell much like it anyway."

"At least I have that going for me."

She chuckled. "Yeah, that's the worst when you're not expecting it. What's happening then?"

"Besides your alpha firing me?"

"Letting go," Mr. Wolfern carefully corrected, though I noted he maintained his distance.

"Yeah, that sucks." Lidya cringed. "You're having a bad day."

I was having a bad week at this point, but I couldn't tell her that. If I started talking I was sure everything would come out from Cal to the likely fake suppressants I'd been taking, meaning that I had been previously buying real but illegal suppressants.

Everything was a wreck.

I shook my head. It was all too much. "I just want to go home."

"Okay." Immediately, Lidya nodded. "We can do that and get you to your nest. Nothing a good nest huddle can't fix, am I right?"

I had no idea what she was talking about.

"We can take you home."

"We can't send her out like this, Lidya. Her scent."

"How about we call your alpha?" she said, like it was a given.

I shook my head.

"Lidya." Mr. Wolfern tried to interrupt with a low growl that made me shiver and bend inward on myself.

Lidya took no heed to the noise. "I'm sure they won't be mad. What? Are they at work or something? They want to make sure you're okay."

Mr. Wolfern was looking at me though, a sad expression on his face.

He knew. It was all too easy to tell I was unbonded within my scent if not for the fact that unlike Lidya's, my neck wasn't covered in oddly elegant-looking bites.

"I'll call someone to help you," he whispered.

"Don't!" I screamed before I could stop myself.

The omega grabbed my hand as I pulled away. I couldn't help myself. I latched back onto it as she looked up at me. My tears were very well about to become full-out sobs at how softly she touched me, looking at me like she cared.

It had to be pity she was looking at me like that for. It had to be. But I couldn't even think at all let alone make a new plan on how to fix this mess I got myself into.

"Miss Jones–"

"I don't need help. Just let me stay and work. You said I was good at my job. Let me keep doing it." I was right the first time he called me back here last week to his office. I really wasn't above begging.

"Miss Jones," Mr. Wolfern shook his head again as he looked at me. "Ella."

"Don't call the authorities. Please."

"It's either I call Omega Services to help you or... do you have someone– an alpha I can call that knows to take care of you? You need help, Ella. Please, let us do that."

Lena continued to stroke the back of my hand.

I would not cry. I would not cry any harder.

"Ella. Do you have anyone I can call for you?"

I had no one. I had no one who knew or could help. For god sake, I wasn't even sure if I should call Rita right now. She was only a beta. How were they supposed to let her take me home let alone, how did I make sure that she didn't get in trouble for keeping my secret all this time if word got out? My phone was also still dead since I hadn't had a chance to plug it in.

I started to shake my head.

It was over. The past seven years were for nothing.

What my brother did for me was all for nothing! I felt like the knowledge of the fact played in a constant deprecating loop.

I paused, swallowing. I barely made it even a few hours.

It was all for nothing. "I..."

He lifted the phone. "Yes?"

"Wait." I hesitated before finally just coming out with it.

The omega squeezed my hand as she seemed to recognize how I finally gave in. There was one person I think that he could call. That he knew the number even if I didn't.

I gave up as I melted into the office chair.

This was it. It's over.

"I have someone you know who you can call."