Chapter 11

Chapter

Eleven

"You live here with someone else?" I asked as I walked into the apartment.

Immediately, Ella made her way towards her bedroom though she didn't make it much further before she had to sit down. I watched as she tried to reach for things, only to stop halfway out of looking like she was a step from the grave.

Though the apartment was a shit-hole like Cal had said, it was clear that whoever lived here at least attempted to make the place look homey. Not to mention there were two bedrooms. Well, two and a half.

"Rita."

"And Rita knows?" I ventured.

Ella sighed as she nodded.

"Where is Rita?"

She shook her head before looking at me again as I walked towards her. I picked up a few of the blankets she had been going for and rummaged through her closet until I found a duffle bag to shove it into. If she wanted to come back for stuff I wasn't going to stop her, but I was going to make sure this trip was quick so we could get out of her and back to the pack house.

"Campus," said Ella. "She's a PhD student."

That explained the bare bones of the place. I doubted her friend even lived here most of the time with how I knew the university made sure their upper grad students were constantly working with the assignments, teaching opportunities, and studies they were pulled into. It's what made Prestford one of the best in the country. They didn't settle for anything less than excellence.

"Stay there and don't move. Tell me what you want so we can get out of here."

Moving onto her bathroom, I reached for her toothbrush though it looked like she was in desperate need of a new one. I felt her eyes on me when I reached for the medicine cabinet. Opening up, even my eyes wanted to widen.

Tubes of pills lined the narrow shelves. Behind me, Ella went stiff at the sight, enough so that I could feel her tension in the other room where she sat on the edge of her bed. I told her to stay there and not move. After a few irritating mumbles, I was a little shocked that she listened.

Then again, she still looked like she was half dead, so I doubt she had much energy to be too combative.

Something to look forward to.

I narrowed my eyes, turning back to her after declaring that I'd get her a new toothbrush and better dental care back at the house. I picked up the bottles that her eyes froze on. "What are these?"

Ella shook her head. "Nothing."

I gave them a little shake, jostling them around in the hazy plastic container. She cringed. "Don't lie."

"You lie," she countered, looking away.

I balked. "I do not."

She raised her thin, dark blond eyebrows, still not looking at me.

"I won't lie to you if you don't lie to me, deal?" I ventured. "White flag. Truce. Whatever the hell you want." Because I was tired and she was filling my car still with that damn good scent of hers.

She shrugged.

"Deal?" I repeated. "Audible answer."

"Okay." She huffed looking back at me again. "Deal."

"What are they?" I asked again. "Are these all the pills that my pack was talking about?"

"My suppressants... and blockers."

"They still make blockers in pill form?" My brows squeezed together. It took me a minute before I realized that Ella hadn't answered, and I looked back up from the tiny pills again. "Ella?"

"I figured you wouldn't like the truth because you know the answer already. It doesn't matter anyway. They still don't work," she admitted.

"Still?" I dropped them into the trash bin next to the toilet. She looked at the motion as if I just killed her puppy. I scoffed. "You took them?"

"Well, yeah," she whispered.

"When?" I asked turning to watch the way she squirmed. She had to be joking, didn't she? "Today?"

Ella whimpered. Sitting back on her bed, she clenched her hands into fists. "I just want this to stop. All of it. I didn't ask for this."

"What?"

"Any of it! I didn't ask to run into you or Cal. I didn't ask for my pills to suddenly stop working because some man figured that my life didn't matter as much as my money did so he could pawn off whatever those pills were. If that's even what happened?"

I wasn't sure. The pills looked pretty freaking real to me looking at them right now.

"I didn't ask to be an omega," she whispered.

"Some people would be thrilled to be an omega."

She scoffed as if the idea was insane to her. Though, it was true. I knew a lot of betas in my life, students even whom I've overheard whispering about how they prayed for years to present late.

Omegas weren't always treated right. That was the unfortunate truth. But those who were, they were cherished. They were loved.

A lot of us didn't always have that luxury.

Then again, I forced myself not to think about it before the thought was already at the front of my mind. I wasn't so sure Ella ever had that sort of love either.

If this disgusting apartment was any clue to it, I couldn't say that Ella ever had much of anyone but herself which made this even more confusing.

She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "I was fine how I was."

"You were dying," I said.

"What?"

"The suppressants." I raised my eyebrows, knowing that she could put two and two together. "The doctor that came by and checked on you– don't worry, she won't tell anyone about you. She's a friend. She told us that you likely had been on cheap high-dose suppressants and blockers for a long time. I can't imagine they were legal either."

She didn't fill in the blank. She knew I wouldn't like that answer either already.

Smart girl.

"The long-term use has been affecting your kidneys and your other organs. Your hormones are all out of whack which is why you are also all over the place emotionally."

Ella crossed her arms over each other, looking small. "Good, it's not just my life falling apart doing this to me then."

It couldn't have been helping.

"If you would've kept going you probably would've been in the hospital anyway within a few years, if not sooner, likely without a good outlook."

"I was dying," she repeated. "Dying?"

I nodded. My stomach was in knots.

"Am I… Am I still dying?"

"No," I said quickly. She was fine. We would make sure she got healthy.

She'd be fine.

"As long as you stop taking them and your body doesn't go into a full heat… you'll be alright to heal. But you can't keep doing this."

"This," her voice stuttered, looking around herself.

I doubted she even knew what else there was.

Just by looking at her, I could tell that she was sweating again. Her body was shaking with a round of shivers even though she looked like she was burning up. I needed to get her home and back in bed. I needed to make sure that she was fed and taken care of.

My alpha insisted.

"Ella, don't worry."

"I can't believe that I didn't know I was killing myself," she said, hushed. "I really thought it was fine. I needed to be fine."

"Why did you need to be fine?" I asked.

She shook her head.

Another time I'd figure it out then. If it was the last thing I'd do I'd figure out just who messed with my– this omega.

I took a deep breath. I was fucking this up. Everything. I knew I was and yet I couldn't stop myself. "You're going to be okay."

"That's what that other guy said," she nodded. "The one that found me. That I was going through a… withdrawal."

"Marko," I said. He was quick to figure it out compared to the rest of us.

He'd know.

"Marko," she repeated the name, shutting her eyes as if at peace with his name. I wondered if she would feel that way once she met him outside of the haze she previously did. Everyone either had two modes when it came to Marko, love or flight.

We'd still have to see which one she chose.

She didn't answer. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I know you don't want me."

"That isn't an option anymore." For either of us. I was starting to understand that it wasn't just to keep her safe at the house or every second I spent with her.

"Sorry."

"Stop– Stop saying sorry."

"It's okay. I don't want any of you either. I don't want to be here. I want to stay here alone."

"Omegas aren't meant to be alone."

"This one is," she said, though she didn't sound happy about it. Her omega was close to the surface as she started to bunch her blankets around herself, trying to get comfortable as I rifled through her closet to get some clothes. There wasn't anything that looked like what I imagined she'd wear.

She squeezed a pillow to her chest before tossing it to the side.

She was nesting or trying to. It wasn't going well which was probably for the best. She couldn't go into heat right now. She needed to be comfortable but also, I didn't want her to get too comfortable.

"Get what you need from your nest–" If anyone could even call it that. "And let's get out of here."

"I want to stay."

I grabbed some more blankets and pillows that smelled most like her, though everything had a light hint of dampness that made my stomach roll. All the germs. "Let's go."

"No." She shook her head looking around at her shack of an apartment. "No. I can't leave. I don't want to go."

I wasn't going to leave her like this. I wasn't going to be able to leave her, especially not as a little cry escaped her lips as she hunched over.

"Oh no."

I dropped the canvas bag I was holding and took a step over to her, trying to bend to see her eyes. She shook as she twisted her arms around her middle.

I should've taken her right back to the house!

"It's okay."

"It hurts," she moaned. "Why does it hurt all of a sudden? Am I dying? I thought you said I was going to be ok."

"You're probably having a little practice heat, sweetheart." I tried to stay calm for her, my alpha rioting that she was in pain. He screamed at me to fix this. There was nothing to fix though.

It would pass.

The doctor said that her body probably couldn't handle real heat for a while yet. She was too small. Too delicate.

We were going to have to call Allison again and risk the blood panel if she continued like this and we didn't call Omega Services. Then we could at least see if her body was preparing to go into heat even if the rest of her sure as hell shouldn't be. There had to be something that could be done for these kinds of situations.

"No no no."

"Shh. It's okay. It will pass." It should pass anyway. It didn't matter, already I could smell her perfuming, making me hard enough that I had to force myself not to unconsciously adjust myself in my pants.

Fuck.

This was much different from what had happened the other day when Marko brought her home to the house and I was reacting.

"Please," she groaned. Stands of blond hair fell forward over her face as she gripped her pillows.

Another minute passed. Then, another. She still was over, body tense and pained.

My alpha roared, nearly forcing me to grab her, help her– rut her.

Now. Now. Help her NOW.

"Touch yourself." I nearly yelled, keeping my voice just in check.

"What?" Her eyes popped open in horror. It looked like for once Cal was dating someone with at least a little self-decency. Had to admit, I was surprised. "I- I can't– won"t..."

"It will help." Or it would send her into a full-blown heat.

Either or, I supposed since this doctor didn't know the difference between mini-heats and what looked like the real deal. Because this looked like the real fucking deal to me.

"Please, darling, you can do it," I said soothingly. Her pupils were blown as she took in a deep breath, her omega riding her hard.

She shook and not just from the need anymore. Ella was terrified.

"It's okay. I promised I'd keep you safe. That hasn't changed, I'm not going to touch you. You are going to touch you right now."

After a second, she nodded, her hands dripping each other sliding down between her legs, fingers shaking as she tried to free the button on her pants.

Dear lord, I had the strength of ten alphas right now as I watched her shimmy them past her knees.

I wanted to rip them off.

"That's good," I whispered. "Now just slide your hand down between your legs."

Hesitating for a moment, her hand slid down, starting between her breasts before trailing between her legs where I caught a flash of simple white panties under the hem of her shirt. Pushing aside her underwear, I smelled a fresh burst of vanilla and springtime.

"Feel how wet you are, darling." I started to narrate before I could help myself. I did it all the time with Cal, just to torture him a bit. This was different. "Just touch yourself nice and slow and find where it feels good."

Ella closed her eyes, biting her lip.

"That's it."

"I can't," she cried. She immediately pulled her hand away from herself. Tears rimmed her eyes, one slipping down her cheek as she turned towards me. "Can't do it."

My entire body felt like I was dying at the sight.

What was this feeling?

"You can, sweetheart," I encouraged, reaching over to her before I realized what I was doing. My hand froze before I touched her. I couldn't stand it if she flinched again. No wonder Cal was such a big dramatic mess over this omega. "Come here. Can I just— Can I hold you?"

"I can't."

"Can't let me hold you?" Cal said something about this, didn't he? Why didn't I listen? I was so stupid and caught up in my stupid world without anyone around for the past four months and now all of us were back together.

And she was here.

I growled.

She flinched.

I shut my eyes and forced myself to take a deep breath. We'd figure out what exactly made her have that reaction later. I couldn't stand the small hiccupping sounds that still came from in front of me. "Ella."

Her fingers flexed as if she wanted to grab my hand before she put it down. She looked as if she was in pain, fighting herself.

Fine then. I was going to decide for her. "I'm going to hold you, omega. I'm not going to do anything but hold you for a minute until you calm down, okay? I promise."

"That doesn't mean anything. I promise."

I wanted to rage again at whatever made her believe that.

I reached back out to her. Luckily, she didn't fight as I gently ran a hand down her arm, testing before I pulled her back into my chest. "Just a little more trust, darling. Please. I'll earn the rest. I'm sorry but I need to help you. Can you let me?"

She stiffened against me.

"Let me help you. There you go."

Just like back at the library when she was half out of her mind, she pressed her nose against the center of my chest. She wiggled, trying to get comfortable. Finally, she settled against me, wrapping her legs around my waist like... like she wanted me to stay right there.

"There you go. What a good, smart omega."

She hummed, shaking as her hips involuntarily lifted, pressing against me.

I held in my groan as she started to rub herself up against me. I leaned back a bit, letting her get more leverage as she rocked herself over my very hard length that felt like it was about to explode.

I grunted and she moaned right back at me, grinding herself down on me unable to stop.

She was too far gone, and honestly, if I had any less strength I would be too.

Ella pressed against me, the little sounds coming out of the back of her throat, breathy. I couldn't get myself as I groaned out loud. "Fuck, darling. There you go. Rub yourself against me just as you need to. Use me."

I wrapped my arms around her, careful not to crowd her, and pulled her closer as she found a steady rhythm, hitting her in the perfect spot. Wetness and what was no doubt fresh omega slick dampened the front of my dress pants, soaking me.

She whined, eyes blinking down at me as she raised her head for more leverage.

I wanted to run my hands up her back as I listened to the flimsy bed frame creak beneath us. I wanted to pinch her nipples and roll her breasts in my hands. I wanted to grab her hips and slam her hard down on my cock, but I breathed deeply, holding her scent like I was taking a drag of the best drug.

She shivered, crying out like the best song I ever heard.

"Keep going. I got you," I encouraged. "Such a smart omega using me for what she needs."

As if that was all she needed to hear, her hips bucked another time, her body tensing as she let out a small cry of pleasure and pain all at once.

I moaned, unable to hold my pleasure in anymore as I choked. I kept my eyes open though. I watched the look of rapture and ease on her face before she collapsed over me.

"God, you"re stunning when you come, darling."

This was it. I was screwed. If not literally definitely metaphorically because this omega no matter what anyone said from the rest of the pack to the damn Omega Services– she was going to be mine.