Chapter 16

Chapter

Sixteen

ELLA

T he pressure of impending courting days weighed heavily on me as I watched my fellow omegas buzz with excitement and anticipation after our first courting event.

The prospect of being chosen by an alpha filled them with hope and eagerness, but for me, it sparked a sense of dread and uncertainty.

Being given to Benjamin Davinson now wasn't just what I knew was going to happen to me, it was a ticking time bomb of my own destruction if I didn't figure out what I needed to go next.

The plan was still vague, and Lidya was still trying to convince me to be omega sister-bonds even if I could tell it wouldn't have been her first choice by how she looked enraged at the thought of having to share any of her alphas.

Which I respected.

As I listened to other omegas' discussions about outfits and strategies to catch an alpha's eye as they started to go on dates, I couldn't shake the feeling of being trapped in a game I never wanted to play.

No. I had to start thinking better. I had to start thinking like a true omega to get out of this because thinking like a beta or even an omega pretending to be a beta trying to come to terms with being once and for all the only person she ever was—was doing me no favors.

Slowly, I began to remember all the lessons. Not just the ones from the academy, but from home.

From the Davinsons.

My brother, Peter, taught me with heavy delight in his eyes when we thought we had the entire world figured out with my designation like the perfect diagnose to life.

"Fake it till you make it, sis. We're going to be alright. You hear?" He'd smile. "We're going to be amazing. Better than ever."

I had to believe that again.

"You don't seem fully like yourself today."

I looked up to meet Lucas's green eyes.

I'd been looking into them for a few weeks now every other day as we got to know each other more and more and the professors started to phone in checking in with us to complete our worksheets to just letting us chat.

In the end, oddly enough, these hours every day were what I most enjoyed. Little pieces of time in the dim lighting of the classroom, just getting to talk to someone like a normal person.

Lucas rolled my hand in his and I breathed in a thick gulp of his maple syrup scent.

"You seem like you are building walls in your brain," said Lucas. "Focused on something."

"Kind of."

"Tell me what you're thinking of?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"About how to navigate this courting season," I admitted, surprising myself with my honesty.

Lucas raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"Courting season… it sounds like quite the ordeal," he commented, leaning back in his chair. "You never told me how the other day went."

I noted his minor cringe. He mentioned more than once how he wished that he would be courting with me this year like a few of the other alphas. But he still had one more year of school and then…

Well, most alphas waited until they were older and well-established before settling down.

"It went fine."

"Are you going on dates?" he asked. When I gave him a look, he rolled his eyes. "I hear people talking about everything. I'm not stupid."

"No. I'm… I'm not going on dates."

Not even Benjamin would. I mean, I didn't think so. What would be the point? Benjamin was likely not someone to waste time or resources on those kinds of pretenses. I wondered what he would say at some point if he did just sweep me away at the end of all of this. That we fell in love suddenly? That courting felt like nothing to us when he saw me and knew he had to have me.

Or maybe he'd lock me away forever never to be spoken of as anything other than "his omega."

Gross.

"Why not?"

"Because that's not how it works."

"I'd take you on a date."

I bet he would. It probably would be a sweet date too. Maybe a movie and ice cream. I smiled. "I'd let you take me on a date."

His face brightened. "Really."

I nodded. "If I could."

"Maybe…"

I shook my head. "You know it wouldn't work no matter how much we'd want it to."

"But you'd want me?"

I paused, looking down at my hand he was still holding and breathing him in again. Everything just felt so easy with him. Even the chaos of everything around me. "Yes, Lucas. I'd want you."

I did want him.

I shook my head again. This time, it was mostly at myself.

"Courting is more than all that stuff going on though that's ruining my brain," I replied, a spark of defiance igniting within me. "It's a twisted game we're forced to play, with rules set by those who hold all the power."

Lucas regarded me thoughtfully before speaking, "What if you don't play by their rules? Maybe we both don't have to."

A rush of exhilaration surged through me at his words. What if I didn't play by the rules? What if I found a way to forge my path, to defy the traditions that sought to confine and control me?

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I met Lucas's gaze.

"I think it's time for a change, don't you?" His eyes gleamed with a mixture of determination and curiosity as he waited for my response.

Too bad I had to disappoint him. Because I don't think that running off with yet another alpha that I liked would end well for me… or him.

And I wouldn't have anything happen to Lucas.

"Unfortunately, I can't."

"What do you mean?" he asked, leaning forward until his elbows rested on his knees. "You could sneak through this courting season, you know. I can't find a way to get into this one. Or at least, I don't think I can just yet, but you could pass or try to stay away from the alphas who are interested and wait… for me."

There was such hope in his eyes and all I wanted to do was?—

I reached out and grasped his hands between my own. I saw the flash of hope in his eyes. Until I shook my head. I shook it over and over again as if I needed to get it through the universe's brain that I didn't get the thing that I wanted. Maybe I never would, but I didn't want to get into a self-pity zone again. I was there too long and now I needed a plan.

A better plan than what I was pretty sure I had at the moment.

"I can't do that, Lucas," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I would if I could but…"

"There is something else, isn't there?"

There was a long pause between us. I nodded.

His voice dipped to a whisper. "You can't tell me."

"I want to," I said. "I really want to."

"I won't tell anyone. Just between me and you," he said.

I took a deep breath, breathing in his scent that once reminded me a little of another alpha, moving all the scents together in my head.

Another alpha that didn't even care to come looking for me.

I swallowed the thickness in my throat.

"Please, tell me, Ella. I need to understand. Somehow."

"I've been promised to someone," I said.

" Promised ?" Lucas repeated the word as it took root between us, threading us, if possible even tighter together.

"Benjamin Davinson," I spoke his name evenly. I had been practicing ever since I made my decision. "He is going to court me, but I've already been promised. To him. Contracted to him."

"That…" Lucas didn't know what to say. His mouth stumbled over words without fully coming out with anything that made sense.

I kept trying to explain better.

"I signed a document with my guardian when I was sixteen that I would be his. I had run out on that promise," I said simply. "Until now. And he has come back to claim what has always been his."

Lucas stared at me.

"I'm him," I said.

He shook his head. "No."

"Yes."

"He… I know what the world thinks of them, the Davinsons." His voice snapped at the name with something akin to a growl brewing in his chest. Yet, I wasn't afraid. Shocked, sure. "But he went to the academy. I know what… I know what kind of person he is, let alone alpha. You can't go with him."

There wasn't a choice.

That was just it. That was the plan. At this point, all I had if I couldn't get out of this was that I'd fake it as best as I could. I'd make it through. And when I had my chance, I'd get out somehow. I'd run or fake my death or maybe fake his…

Something.

That is where everything got a little fuzzy, but I could get creative at the moment, I was sure.

"It's true," Lucas murmured. "Isn't it?"

"What true?" I asked.

"The rumors," he specified.

I met his eyes. I couldn't bring myself to lie. It was tiring and I didn't want to lie to Lucas anymore after answering all the other questions on the list and off the list we had for each other the past few weeks. In a way, I think I knew more about Lucas and he knew more about me than just about anyone these days.

"Yes."

Lucas's green eyes searched mine, a storm of conflicting emotions swirling within them. His jaw clenched as he processed the weight of my confession, the reality of the situation sinking in deeper with each passing moment.

"I can't let you go through with this," Lucas finally said, his voice laced with determination. "There has to be a way out of this... arrangement."

I shook my head sadly, knowing that the promise I had made long ago tied me to Benjamin Davinson in ways that felt impossible to break.

"I appreciate your concern, Lucas, but this is something I have to face on my own," I told him.

Lucas reached out to cup my cheek gently, his touch warm and soothing. "You don't have to face this alone, you know. I'll be here for you every step of the way, no matter what."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes at his unwavering support, at the kindness and understanding he offered when I felt so utterly… done.

Voices started up through the classroom and outside in the hall, signaling the end of class. It would be wrong to stay here longer than necessary.

"We have to go," I whispered.

Lucas kept hold of my hand, not letting me get farther than standing in front of him. "You aren't going anywhere. You can't go to courting starting tonight. I can't let this be the last time I see you. It is, you realize, right?"

"I…" Hadn't. I hadn't even thought of that and I spent most of the class inside of my head.

"Unless this is one-sided?" Lucas asked, searching for an answer.

I didn't want to answer, it was already too obvious.

"I can't let it be the last time," Lucas repeated, his eyes searching mine for a response, for any sign that I felt the same way he did. And the truth was, I did.

But my circumstances, and my past promises, tied me down in ways that I couldn't easily break free from.

I reached out to touch his face, memorizing the warmth and kindness in his gaze.

"It's not one-sided," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the sounds of students shuffling outside the classroom. "But I can't risk involving you in this mess. It's complicated, Lucas."

He didn't back away.

Instead, he leaned closer, his breath mingling with mine. "Let me help you," he pleaded, his green eyes filled with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine.

I hesitated, torn between the desire to protect him from the chaos of my life and the longing for someone to stand by my side through it all.

Lucas stood up from his chair and drew me into a tight embrace, holding me close as if he never wanted to let go. "I'm going to figure something out."

"Ok."

"Just keep things slow. There is a traditional aspect of courting. Nothing can happen. Not right away. Not even with anything already set. You have a write to… court. Fully. Take it. And I will take the time to make this better."

"How?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Maybe I'll leave school and we run away together."

I barked a laugh until… "You're serious."

"For you. I… I never wanted someone like this before, Ella."

"I want you too." So much.

"Good. Then it had to work between us, didn't it? My dad might help and if not… we can fix this."

"What if–"

"It's fate. You can't tear apart fate," said Lucas. "Right?"

I once thought that. With him, it was all too easy to want to again.

"Right," I whispered, looking at him and feeling like my heart was about to explode in my chest with every moment I held his hands in mine. Yet my words shook. Not from fear or upset, but because I wish that I could be so sure, so happy like him.

It almost reminded me of Cal, trying to get me to let loose and have all the faith in the world in what was in store.

In him. In his pack.

And I had once. Hadn't I?

Even for a short amount of time. Now, I was here in front of Lucas whose thumbs gently whispered back and forth over the backs of my palms.

I nodded. "Fate."

What a ridiculous word.