Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

ELLA

I had promised myself that I would never be this way again. I ran away because of it all. I made a new life.

Now? It all was for nothing.

"Ella!" Lidya waved a hand in front of my face.

"I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?"

She studied me. "I was. I tried to say your name. A few times."

Oh. I hadn't even noticed. "Sorry."

"It's ok. You know, you need to eat something."

"Not hungry." I was the opposite of hungry. I touched my spoon going into my oatmeal and let it drop back into the bowl, letting my eyes zone out for another moment. It was almost like finally getting the sleep I wasn't managing at night.

"It's a sort of withdrawal."

"What is?"

"What's happening to you? You haven't been eating properly or sleeping."

"I…" For some reason, I wanted to argue, but I couldn't. It was all true.

"It happens sometimes. Omegas, after all, are pack creatures." She shook her head. " Alpha creatures. They like having someone to lean on and when something steady is taken away."

The omega becomes useless.

In some cases, they even became rabid. Feral.

I was starting to understand that through all my classes here. My body was just starting to catch up now.

"It is usually with scent-matched pairs," she explained with a small wince. "At least, that is what they say if people still believe in them."

"You do?"

The corner of her pink lips turned up. "Of course. I found mine. I was trying to tell you that today is one of the days I get to go onto the Prestford campus for my art classes. I'm going to try to figure out some more information for you. My alpha, Adam, is picking me up. We have to be able to see your alphas."

I nodded absentmindedly, my mind still preoccupied with Benjaminand the emptiness that seemed to consume me. Lidya's words about scent-matched pairs lingered in my thoughts, a reminder of what I had lost. The reminder of Cal and the way he smelled like marshmallows and Marko smelled like the perfect sweet orange to blend with Liam's caramel and Demetri's rich chocolate.

My mouth watered just at the thought of them all.

My heart hurt, burned as if someone was dragging a jagged blade right through the center.

As Lidya chatted about her plans for the day, I forced myself to focus, pushing aside the ache in my chest. It was frustrating how easily my emotions could spiral out of control, and how one person could hold so much power over me.

But I refused to let Benjamin continue to dictate my life. I… I had to. Even if I didn't know what else to do.

I could handle anything. I had handled everything . Determined, I pushed away from the table, surprising Lidya mid-sentence.

She startled. "Ella?"

"I'm coming with you," I said.

"What?"

"I'm coming with you and Adam to find my alphas. I'll sneak out and figure out what is going on and if I need to… I can go then."

"No," she said softly. She also looked a little like I was crazy at even suggesting this.

"I am," I insisted.

"No. You're not." She insisted, more forcefully this time as if she could out-determine me. Wasn't going to happen. "Ella. Think this through and listen to me. It isn't a good idea and you know it. You'll get in more trouble here."

"So?"

"And soon enough this will be sorted. Without you being put on dorm arrest until courting or whatever they have planned for you now that Benjamin is here. If they don't expel you and…"

"And what?"

"Likely put you in the care of whoever is paying for your education."

For a second, I couldn't breathe as I considered that possibility. Was that what Benjamin was hoping for? For me to screw up and then be swiftly handed to him without going through all this?

I hated to admit it, but it was smart. Too smart for Ben.

"I will bring Adam back and we will tell you what is going on. This is the day we've been waiting for. We'll have a plan."

A plan. I nodded slowly.

"Ok?"

I glanced towards the clock. "I have to go to class."

"Be careful."

I snorted. "You too."

Getting into class, already the other alphas were there from the other school. I shouldn't have been surprised, but the thick coating of their scent in the room made me want to turn and run in the other direction. Or throw up. One of the other.

Unfortunately, I was shoved through the doors with others appearing for the class behind me.

I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the overwhelming scents of the alpha students surrounding me. I found an empty seat towards the back of the classroom and sank into it, willing myself to focus on the lesson despite the distraction of their presence.

And the feeling of a very specific alpha's eyes on me.

I glanced over to the other side of the room where Lucas sat. He offered a small smile and lifted his hand an inch off his lap so no one would see. It almost was a wave.

Sort of.

I shook my head, not returning it as the teacher called us to attention and began to talk about pack dynamics and hierarchy.

My mind drifted back to Benjamin once more. I couldn't stop thinking about him and the fact that one toe was out of line and maybe that was it.

All of this was over.

Every chance I had was over here to do anything. But I still had to court, didn't I? That was part of the bargain. And that couldn't just mean Ben, right? I didn't know a lot about courting, but I did know that whenever it was written in books, there were dates with multiple alphas–of course, in books the omega got to choose and everyone lived happily ever after and not under the famous piercing Davinson gaze that looked more threatening than comforting.

I doubted he even knew how to purr.

And I… I realized I liked it when I experienced an alpha's pur. I liked it a lot and now I was taken away from Liam and Marko and Demetri and would never have that again.

Tears pressed against the back of my eyes.

I bit the inside of my cheek.

Stop it. I chastised myself.

But I also couldn't help it.

What if Lidya went with Adam to Prestford house and they… didn't want me? I still couldn't understand why no one had shown up yet. They knew I was here. They had to after Lidya told her alphas.

Yet nothing.

Soon enough, if that was the case, I needed to figure out what to do on my own with or without help. Because I couldn't go back to Benjamin and his family. Not again.

For me.

For my brother.

I bit the inside of my cheek harder.

"You okay?"

My attention startled up to the person standing directly in front of me. Lucas cocked his head to the side.

I quickly nodded. "Yeah. Fine."

He didn't seem to believe me. "They're pairing off again. We can just sit here if you'd like."

"Oh. Right."

Lucas sat down in front of me, carefully laying out his notebook with the worksheet we hadn't managed to fill out last time. The tension between us was palpable.

I tried to focus on the task at hand, finding our placement within the room, but Lucas's presence was becoming a bit of a distraction. He smelled like honey and syrup all at once, thick on my taste buds as if I could taste his scent.

I forced myself to look up and meet his gaze.

Lucas's eyes held a mix of emotions, mirroring the turmoil I felt inside. His hand hovered uncertainly between us before he finally placed it on my arm, a gesture that sent a shiver down my spine.

Gently, I slid my arm back away.

"Sorry," he yanked his hand back.

"It's ok."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know why I did that."

I shook my head again. It's ok , was back on my lips in an instant, but this time, I didn't say it.

"I designated late."

I blinked at him. "What?"

"I designated as an alpha kinda late compared to everyone else," Lucas explained in somewhat greater detail. I wasn't sure why exactly he was telling me this. "I get what it is like to come off the academy a little older than everyone else. It was hard at first trying to fit in and find a groove so to speak."

Oh. I stared at him for a moment, taking in his vulnerability as he told me all of this, eyes kind and understanding as he sat in front of me while everyone else around us was talking and laughing as if they didn't have a care in the world. I bet he wished he was with one of the other omegas right now.

"I didn't just designate," I admitted.

"You didn't… oh. I feel a little stupid then," he said. "If you transferred in or something."

I sighed. "I didn't transfer in."

His brows lowered over his eyes. "Oh."

Was I getting into this? With a deeper sigh, I reached for the worksheet between us.

"What is your favorite class from the academy?" I wrinkled my nose at the generic question.

"This is when I'm supposed to say something like advanced mathematics or business," Lucas interrupted my scowl.

"Really?" He nodded. "Then I'm supposed to say something like housekeeping?"

"You're a natural. Who said you needed to come to this place?" Lucas chuckled. "You don't seem like the other omegas here."

Lucas's words caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his observation. What did he mean by that? Was it a compliment or a critique?

I struggled to respond, unsure of how to interpret his comment.

"Not in a bad way," he said, seeing my confusion. "I just mean you seem more…"

"More what?"

"Maybe not more, but less…"

I raised my eyebrows again, sensing a theme here. "Less what?"

"Less...submissive. You have this sort of…" He waved his hands around his head.

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm crazy?"

"No," he chucked. "Just that you have this sort of fire in your eyes, I guess is what I'm saying. There is this little extra something or understanding there that the others don't," Lucas explained, his gaze still searching mine as if trying to decipher a hidden code. "It's intriguing. Refreshing, even."

I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at his words. A flicker of something warm stirred in my chest amidst the chaos of my thoughts.

Lucas saw me differently, saw past the traditional expectations for an omega like me, and recognized something more.

"Thanks," I replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "I guess I've never been one to conform to expectations."

Lucas's smile mirrored mine.

For a moment, the weight of everything else faded into the background. It was just him and me, two individuals navigating a complicated world that sought to force us into predetermined roles.

"Good," he said softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. "You shouldn't change that about yourself."

"Even if it doesn't make me the perfect omega?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't mean that. And, I haven't found that out yet. We still have a whole list of fun questions on this worksheet to go through."

I couldn't help it, a small chuckle escaped me.

I was pretty sure everything we were doing said that I wasn't a perfect omega, yet I felt a surge of relief at his words. He didn't want to run in the other direction.

He didn't want to leave me there, so maybe, my alphas–if they were still after not coming to get me–wouldn't either.

It was also comforting to know that someone else could see past the facade I had been forced to adopt in this unfamiliar environment. Lucas's honesty sparked a flicker of hope within me, a glimmer of connection amid chaos.

"Some would say that I'm not the perfect alpha either."

I narrowed my eyes, looking him over again. He basically… well when it came to alphas, I was pretty sure that Lucas checked all the boxes. Even if he wasn't back here ravishing me right now which seemed to be the route everyone else was going with these instructional classes. "Really? Is this just because you designated late because that kind of stuff is just stupid."

Lucas's cheeks colored slightly at my skeptical tone, and he cleared his throat before answering. "Well, I'm not exactly the textbook definition of an alpha either way, though I did get teased plenty about designating late."

Unfortunately, I imagined he did. Though Lucas was large, like all alphas, he had a softness to him left behind. As a beta. Or almost a beta.

Maybe we had more in common than I thought.

"I tend to question the status quo and challenge authority when necessary," Lucas admitted after a few seconds as he weighed his words. "Like now when I'm supposed to be intimidating you and winning you over all at once."

I dipped my chin once. He was right, looking around that is apparently what the ideal alpha would be.

Someone ought to tell Benjamin that he never quite got the winning over part before I see him again though if he thought this kind of place made him a man made for an omega.

"Right," I said.

Lucas lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Some might see that as a flaw."

I found his honesty endearing. Lucas was, not what I expected. And for some reason, my silent omega inside of me warmed whenever I looked at him, even while the rest of me remained on guard.

"I think it makes you more interesting," I said, surprising myself with the bluntness of my response.

His eyes softened, a hint of gratitude shining through the soft smile he offered me as if afraid the sight of it would make me run away from this small form of connection we started to form.

The more I looked at him...

The more I didn't want to look away, and I think?—

I think I smiled back.