Chapter 19

Chapter

Nineteen

"Ella, are you okay?"

I couldn't breathe.

Somehow, I managed to quickly shake my head.

No, I was nodding.

Good. I needed to nod. Because I had to be ok. I had to at least pretend that I was okay and that none of what was happening was actually happening, because I could not be perfuming.

It was impossible.

Cal reached out to keep hold of my hand.

My fingertips quickly slipped away as I took a step back. "I"m good."

"Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost or something," he said. "Is there an ex wandering around her that I should be worried about?"

"No. Definitely not," I assured him. "I just need to use the bathroom quickly. I'll be right back."

"Want me to come with you?"

I shook my head again, already heading in the direction of the sign over in the corner.

Hastily, I pushed myself through the heavy door. Looking left and right to the empty stalls to the white porcelain sinks.

Thankfully, the space must"ve been as new as Cal said, as it was clean and well taken care of. The only scent lingering was that of what I could tell was hairspray and disinfectant from whenever the club last cleaned.

Striding over to the mirror, I stared at my reflection. My reflection looked back at me as if I was an entirely different person.

I looked pale and sweaty, though my skin now that I was alone outside the crowd felt cold and clammy. I was probably just sick though. It was the bug I"d been dealing with all week on and off, nothing more.

I had to be paranoid. I had taken my suppressants and a shit-load of blockers. It was impossible. So completely, never possible, impossible.

Right?

I pressed my lips together, my stomach taking that moment to clench.

"Ah." I gasped, trying to hold it together.

Even if I forgot my suppressants for a few days, it wasn't enough to cause this kind of reaction, and I'd been taking them religiously.

This made no sense. This couldn't be happening.

Yet, it was hard not to see it.

I was surprised that Cal hadn"t noticed like some of the others in the club seemed to, though he was just a beta. He was a sweet and kind and so cute beta.

I wanted to run out of this bathroom and back into his toned arms. He could wrap me up and pull me against his body again like how we were dancing in the crowd.

I wanted him to kiss me hard and heavily, just like I could tell he wanted to kiss me back in the car. I wanted him to take me to a dark corner and slide his hands up my thighs and under my skirt where my core pounded a steadier beat than the music streaming through the speakers.

Dear lord.My eyes dilated until I could barely see any color.

I refused to believe it. My heart hammered in my chest. Everything turned so bright.

I was going to pass out.

The door opened across from me. A bland-scented beta entered with her friend, laughing. Both of them froze as the door shut behind them, sending them what was, however, undeniably my scent perfuming out of me and into the small room.

I could even smell it. I hadn't in such a long time, but there it was.

The sweet tartness of berries.

Me.

One's mouth parted in shock. "Are you okay?"

"Obviously she isn't okay," the other muttered, whacking her friend with the back of her hand. She took a single step forward but stopped when I flinched back. "Is your alpha outside in the club? Can we go get them for you?"

I quickly shook my head. I should say yes though. I should have told them to go out and get Cal. Maybe he'd know what to do.

He even mentioned that he took those designation classes when he was in school.

But I couldn't tell him.

He"d take care of me. Oh, how I wanted him to take care of me.

But, then he would know.

Everyone will know.

I wasn't free. I wasn't safe.

I didn"t say anything. I stood up from where I was hunched over the sink and pushed past them back out into the club.

I turned back towards the entrance Cal and I came in through. I could get out of here and somehow get home. I'd call him later and tell him that I got sick and wasn't thinking clearly.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

Cal had my phone, and I– I–

I stumbled over my own feet as I pushed through bodies towards the front door anyway, each of them turning with an echo of surprise etched on their face.

I was going into heat.

I never really had a heat outside my first. It was hot and aching and painful. I remembered that day as one of the worst of my life for so many reasons, the days after I first went into heat following coming in close behind.

Already, I wanted to cry.

Heat crawled along my skin and started to pick up a pulse as my perfume only continued to seek through my pores.

More heads whipped in my direction.

No no no. This could not be happening. This literally could not be happening. I did everything right. I took my suppressants. I took my blockers. This shouldn't be happening.

I was a beta.

And betas do not perfume.

Even if they did they did not perfume eau de omega.

A man stepped out in front of me. No, not a man.

An alpha.

My brain screamed louder than the music still pulsating through the club under my feet. Only now, unlike usual, it didn't come with only my average warning imploring me to run and hide and stay away.

Along with the screech of danger, my heart rate picked up as I stared up at the man. Trying to swallow as I smelled his thick patchouli scent. I shivered.

"Omega," he murmured, his voice dipping low as his head as he sniffed, reaching out for me. "Looks like you could use a little help."

I shook my head. No... "No."

"Are you sure there? It wouldn't be the first time I helped out a sweet omega with her heat." His hand gripped my arm hard enough to bruise as I tried to pull away. I pulled harder, but he didn't budge. "You must be a mess with it coming on so fast. I'm sure I could be of some assistance–"

NO.

I needed to get home. I needed to get safe. I used all my body weight to yank myself away.

My feet didn't care that I was in heels. They certainly didn't care that the bouncer out front was asking me to stop once I hit the sidewalk. I didn't care about anything but getting out of here. Getting home where it was safe was the only thing I could focus on. I needed to be somewhere safe where no one could realize what I am and I could fix this.

I could fix this.

I could do this.

Turning on the sidewalk near the corner, my body collided with a large frame. Immediately their arms reached out to steady me, gently clasping my shoulders.

I gasped at the sudden stop, inhaling orange citrus and herbs. There was also something else in his scent, sweet and soft like vanilla. It reminded me of something.

Of someone.

He smelled like a dream.

Alpha.

I pulled away from his touch and he let me go.

Tattoos lined the alpha's hands and arms all the way up towards where his black t-shirt cut off over his biceps, thick and strong. The colored ink began again up his neck to his face. He had a sharp, squared jaw and swirling jewels for hazel eyes.

He looked like the devil.

God, he was hot.

"Little omega," he grumbled, cocking his head down at me. He attempted to clear his throat. Still, his voice was harsh and raspy. "What are you doing so far off from your alpha like this?"

I shook my head, taking a step back.

"It's okay. Let me help you," the man murmured. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I stepped back again and a sound I never made before in my entire life sounded, loud and clear. A whine escaped from the back of my throat.

The alpha's pupils dilated at the sound, seeming to see my panic as it flared. "Don't. Wait."

He reached back out for me.

I ran. I had to.

I couldn't do this. Not now. Not ever.

Not when it was clear and there was no hiding from it any longer, no matter how fast I ran or how hard.

I was an omega.

But it still didn't mean I didn't try to run like hell away from it anyway. I had before, after all.

Why couldn't I again?