Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Living in a suffocating small town did occasionally have its perks. For Jess, Haverfest was one of them.

This particular day had been a special one for her growing up, always starting with a stroll down Main early in the morning. Her father would take her and Dakota hand in hand to the different tents as vendors set up for the crowds that would swarm Haverport. Dad caught up with the townies as she and Dakota watched seafood skewers sizzle on grills, cotton candy spun into cones, sugary kettle cones stuffed in plastic bags. They would dance past the tents hosted by the local radio stations and duel each other in games like the water blaster or the ring toss. Everything was offered to them for free, all in thanks to her father's kindness to this town. His constant desire to give, give, give , and never ask for anything in return.

After their stroll, they would make their way down to Cap's for the massive beach bash, and then end the night in Dad's boat watching the fireworks as they floated down the bay. It was always the perfect day.

Getting her job at Scoops changed their tradition; a quick skewer or a cotton candy before she had to report for her shift scooping cones. When she finally got the chance to take that day off the summer before her senior year, giving the other newbies at Scoops the honor of working that horrific shift, she pretended like she still had to work and snuck off with Charlie for the day. At the time, she was happy, care free, in love. She had no idea that day would be the beginning of the end.

So it didn't surprise her that she was anxious setting up the booth with Jan, Dan, and Kevin that morning. She kept quiet as she placed pastries in the small display case they set up on the table, Jan setting up a tower of jam jars beside her.

Kevin curled a hand around her wrist. "Everything okay?"

She exhaled, her eyes darting back and forth along Main, wondering if her father was making his rounds. "Fine," she said tersely. "Just…on edge."

He rubbed his thumb along the inside of her wrist. "Anything I can do to help?"

She looked up at him. His hair was tucked back behind that bandana. He wore an old Port Wheels tank top, tucked into army green board shorts. Her eyes trailed down his tattoo, realizing that she'd never actually seen it before. Curly strands of ivy ran down his neck to his shoulder, wrapping around his bicep. She swallowed hard when she noticed his hazel eyes were drawn to her lips. He flicked them back up to her face in an instant.

Her gut reaction was to wrench from his grasp and shut him out. Yet she hesitated as the tracing of his thumb calmed her. She thought back to their movie night earlier that week, the softness of his touch, the ease of being in his company. She felt she could trust him with the soft parts of herself, the parts that felt unfamiliar after years of building a fortress around her heart.

"Do we need to do our breathing exercise?" he asked, his tone careful. There was no tease in his voice. He understood her in a way that no one else seemed to, and to her astonishment, she didn't mind.

Jan ordered Dan to help her grab something from the car and stepped away from them. Jess peered around Kevin and watched her step into the sun. She turned and winked in her direction, then walked away, giving them space.

"Yes," she replied.

"Close your eyes."

She did, concentrating on the warmth of the July heat and the calloused hand on her wrist as he guided her through three breaths. She fluttered them open when they finished and glanced up. His eyes were still closed.

"I'm nervous I'm going to see them," she admitted. "I don't think I'm ready yet, Kev."

"How come?" he asked, his eyelids blinking open. "What's holding you back?"

Her shoulders dropped. "My disappointment in them… Their disappointment in me."

"Jessica, you're going to have to knock off that last item on your list at some point."

She attempted to pull her arm from his grasp, but he tightened his grip.

"Don't push me away, sweetheart. Please. Talk to me. You don't have to do this alone."

Familiar voices traveled from a couple of tents down from theirs. Jess whipped her head around, and for the first time in five years, saw her father.

Her dad was doing his usual rounds, a lobster roll in hand. He cocked his head back and laughed at something the artist who was talking to him said. He looked exactly like she remembered; the same suede sandals, the same cargo shorts, the same frayed Cap's hat with the original logo on his head.

Dakota stepped out from the tent, holding up an embroidered pillow to him, face beaming. Dad smiled, his shoulders melting as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a bill, handing it to the artist in front of him.

The whole scene made her want to cry.

They waved goodbye to the artist and scanned the tents ahead of them, Dakota hooking an arm through their father's.

Jess ducked behind the booth and sat on the pavement, the tablecloth blocking her from view.

" Jess ," Kevin hissed. Thankfully, he didn't look down at her, not drawing attention to her spot. "You can't keep running from this."

She scooted closer to him and threw her arms around one of his legs like a child. "Please. Do this for me."

He exhaled, and after a few torturous moments, she felt his body shift, his demeanor casual and at ease. "Mr. Valerie! Great to see you."

"Good to see you too, my boy. And please…call me Logan," he said.

Jess watched as Kevin reached out a hand and shook her father's.

"Interested in a pastry? A jar of jam? If you buy a bike, you can get all three!"

"Now that's a deal." He chuckled. "Where are the Fletchers?"

"Either fighting or making out by their car, who knows," Kevin joked.

"Is Jess around?" Dakota asked. The sound of her sister's timid voice made her heart twist to a painful degree, like play dough in rough hands.

"She's hard at work making more of these raspberry croissants back at the bakery," he lied. "We're expecting to sell a lot of them today."

Jess ran her fingers down Kevin's calf. He knocked her softly with his other foot.

A sad sigh was her father's response. The silence was excruciating. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"I'll take ten croissants, please," he said.

Ten?!

"No bike to go with that?" Kevin teased, opening up a paper bag in front of him. He snatched the tongs and counted the croissants as he went. The bag wasn't big enough for all of them, so he opened up another.

"You of all people know I already have one," he said. "Thanks for helping me out the other day, by the way. It's no longer making that god-awful squeaking noise."

This time Jess squeezed his calf hard, digging her nails into his skin. He was at the shop?

Kevin coughed in response to her tight hold.

"A little oil always helps with that," he replied. "Happy to give it a tune-up whenever you need it."

"And will my daughter be hiding when I stop by?"

Her gut dropped. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kevin froze. "She's not hiding."

"That's not what she's doing over at the bakery right now?"

She let out a quiet breath in relief.

"Okay, maybe she is hiding," he grumbled. "But give her some time. I really think she's going to come around. Soon."

Jess dropped her hands and scooted away from him. Far away.

Another throaty, weighted sigh from her father. "I hope so, son."

She curled in on herself and shoved her face in her knees.

"Tell her we love her, will you?" Dakota asked.

"Absolutely. Have a great day, both of you."

The two of them remained like statues, up until Kevin finally shifted to her, looking down.

"Fuck you," she grunted, standing up. "How dare you not tell me that my father came to the shop. You promised me you would not lie to me anymore."

For the first time in her history of knowing Kevin, he looked livid, and all his anger was directed at her. It was unsettling. "Jess, how else would you have liked me to handle it, huh? Did you want me to tell you he was standing outside the shop and pull you out there with me?"

She wrung her hands. "The customer the other day…with the kanelbullar and the caramel macchiato."

He nodded, his face still stony. "Yes, that was him."

She crossed her arms and held them tight to her chest, tearing her gaze from his. Her father and Dakota were no longer in sight, swallowed by the growing crowds.

"Also, I did not lie," Kevin said, his tone defensive.

She sniffed. "Did he say anything to you then?"

He exhaled. "He asked how things were going, and how you were."

She gazed back at him. He no longer looked angry, but his expression was dim. She shifted back and forth, waiting for him to continue.

"I didn't lie to him, Jess," he admitted. "I told him that the shop was getting more business and we needed to keep up that momentum. And I told him that you seemed happy, despite everything."

She frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I think he knows you left Charlie."

"Dakota probably told him. I admitted it to her and Jasper when they stopped by."

Kevin nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry," she huffed. "You're right. You made the right call. I'm sorry you had to get in the middle of this."

"I sort of knew I would be, though, with the list and all."

She nodded and looked down at her clogs.

Kevin stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, tucking her tight against his chest. "Whenever you're ready, however long it takes, I will be here for you."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled back. "Thank you for being my friend. For being patient with me. Even when I'm a complete and total bitch."

"I'll accept your apology, only if you promise never to call yourself that again."

"But I am…"

"No, you're not," he said. He stretched his arms out and placed his hands in his favorite spot—at her shoulders. "You may be stubborn sometimes, Jess, but you're also resilient. I don't know much about what happened between you and your family, but I can see how much pain you're in because of it. There's probably a lot to process through, and it's okay to be patient with yourself as you do it."

He brushed at the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Why can't I stop crying these days?" she grumbled.

"Is Kevin making you cry?" Jan asked as she approached the tent. "Need me to call Calvin to beat him up?"

" Calvin ?" Dan balked as he trailed closely behind his wife. "What about me?"

"You can barely lift a crate of jam, my love. We need arms. And Calvin has those."

"Tyler might have him beat," Jess teased. She wiped at her tears and tied her denim apron. "And no, he did not make me cry. He makes me smile."

Kevin grinned from ear to ear, and if she wasn't mistaken, his cheeks were painted pink.

The rest of the festival went by in a blur of sticky pastries in paper bags and boisterous laughter—mostly from Dan and Jan. The strawberry danishes were gone in a couple hours, and the raspberry croissants an hour after. Jess had to run back to the bakery and grab extra inventory to sell to the hungry summer people in Haverport who, even after they had their fill of fried clams and funnel cake and freshly squeezed lemonade, couldn't resist heading to the beach or Hillside Park with paper bags full of pastries.

Tired and pink from the sun, Jess finished up taking down the booth with Dan and Jan while Kevin attempted to close another sale.

"Aw, you guys are out of croissants?" the young woman pouted. She brushed her curly hair over her shoulders, blinking her long lashes slowly up at Kevin. "You sure you have none left for me?"

Dread coiled around Jess's ribs as she watched Kevin grin at her. That's my grin.

She shook her head and snapped her attention back to the table she was folding. Her grin? Since when did she own anything of his? Since when did she get jealous of a girl flirting with Kevin? It was a rogue thought that needed to be squashed like a bug.

He laughed, low and deep. She hated how much she loved that sound. She hated that it wasn't directed at her.

"Um, Jess, we don't have any extras, right?"

"No," she snapped, not looking in their direction. "All out. Sorry."

"Maybe you could make it up to me then?" said the curly-haired woman. She lifted a finger and traced it down the tattoo on Kevin's arm.

Jess was five seconds away from standing up and breaking that delicate finger.

Kevin stepped away from the woman's touch. "Sure, stop by the shop sometime and you can have any pastry you want, on the house." To Jess's surprise, he turned to her. "We still have that thing tonight, right?"

Jess shook her head. Unbelievable. "Yes, we do. We should probably get going soon."

The woman frowned, grasping the handlebars of her new bike. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll be at Wilson's Pub later with some friends."

"Thank you for the invite, but I committed to something with my friends months ago. Sorry."

Jess chuckled, then lifted the table and walked away. She heard him jogging up to her.

"What's so funny, Jessica?" He grabbed the other side of the table and helped her lift it into Jan's car.

She put her hands on her hips. "You know you're not invited to the bonfire. It's a Scoops tradition, and you're not a Scooper."

"Oh come on , I'm an honorary Scooper," he said. "Pleeeeease!"

She scowled at him. "If you go, you have to eat the biggest slice of the cake."

Kevin grinned, and she relaxed. Yeah, that was her grin. She wanted to put it in her pocket and keep it for herself. "I have been hearing about your gross cakes for years, I desperately need to try one. I'll beg on my knees if I have to."

It was a long-standing tradition with the Scoopers to have a beach bonfire the night of Haverfest, and as a special treat to the people who worked the gruesome shift that day, they had to watch the rest of the Scoopers eat the weirdest ice cream cake in their honor. Tonight was her fifth year of making the cake, and she had something extra devious up her sleeve.

She smirked. "Begging on your knees wouldn't hurt."

Kevin kneeled on the pavement in one swoop.

She rolled her eyes and pulled him back up. "Stop, I was kidding. You can come."

He kept his hand clasped in hers and squeezed. He stepped closer. "Tell me, are you allowing me to come because you saw me get hit on and you don't want me to go to the bar?"

She scoffed. " No. "

He booped her nose. "Jess, I thought we promised each other we wouldn't lie."

"I am not lying!"

He laughed as he walked away from her, his head held high.

Following their usual tradition, Jess showed up to Scoops, this time with Kevin in tow. After much back-and-forth debate between Calvin, Jess, and the rest of the Scoopers, Kevin was formally invited to join in on the bonfire. It only seemed fair at that point to invite Zach. On the verge of a hissy fit, Jay said he should be allowed to bring someone if they were all coupled up—despite Jess's insistence that she and Kevin were not a couple —and stepped aside to call some girl named Vanessa. Whoever that was.

Then they got to work. Calvin and Melanie continued to serve customers at the windows as she and the rest of the Scoopers cleaned and closed up the shop for the night. Kevin chipped in, drying the dishes Jay washed and singing along with him—both of them poorly out of tune. Tyler, home from football camp for the weekend, assisted Rory with restocking the candy, cones, syrups, fudges, cups, and spoons. She only had to pull them apart once from their aggressive make out in the walk-in fridge, which felt like a victory given the two never stopped touching each other. Blake and Zach cleaned and vacuumed, the former looking sunburnt and utterly elated after spending the day with his boyfriend, stealing longing looks at him like he was the moon and the stars.

Jess smiled to herself as she opened the freezer and picked up her cake, the rest of the Scoopers surrounding the desk in The War Room, waiting with bated breath. She may have discarded many of the traditions that mattered to her most as a kid, but at least she had this one to look forward to every year. At least she had these people she considered family.

She placed the cake down and with a smirk, lifted the lid.

The dramatic inhale was collective. No one spoke.

Compared to last year's cake, made with the atrocious Blue Bombshell ice cream Ron insisted on selling that season, this cake's flavor was obscure. Mysterious. And completely covered in black frosting.

"It looks like death," Blake gasped as Zach slipped an arm around his waist.

"Is the secret ingredient…poison?" Jay chaffed.

"Oh my god," Rory coughed, "don't tell me you put squid ink in the frosting."

Tyler bent over. "That's it, this year I really am going to get sick from this thing."

Jess kept smiling at them, not revealing a thing.

"Jess, I'm dying, please just tell us the flavor," Blake cried.

She cocked a brow, crossing her arms. "This year we're going to do things a little differently. You won't know what it is until you cut into it at the beach."

Jay frowned. "Not even a hint?"

"Let's just say the theme is…savory."

Rory covered her face with her hands.

"This is so intense." Kevin clasped his hands together, looking giddy. "I love it."

"I kind of feel like we should leave the top blank," Melanie chimed in. "I know Calvin and I are supposed to add whatever gross topping we want, but…"

"I agree," he said. "It looks like the depths of hell already."

Jess nodded, closing the lid. "Off to the beach we go."

The group piled into cars and drove to Scallop Shell Beach. Jess parked her car at the dirt lot across the street, a bonfire already blazing in the distance. Kevin sat in the passenger seat, the cake box in his lap.

"Do you ever miss driving?" she asked as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"Honestly? No. Taking the bus is easy, and I like to walk. I also have my bike."

She held the box as he unbuckled his belt. "You know, if you ever need it, you could borrow my car."

Kevin smiled. "Yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Jessica, not sure if you realize this, but you willingly offered to share something with me," he teased. "We're one step closer to ‘what's mine is yours' and all that."

She rolled her eyes. "And there you go, making it weird. In record time, I might add."

He laughed, then ran around the car to open the door for her. "I appreciate the generosity, and may have to take you up on it soon, if that's okay."

She nodded. "Okay, yeah, just let me know."

They followed the rest of the rowdy group to the bonfire, taking seats on towels and blankets. Everyone silenced when Jess placed the cake down in front of Calvin, handing him the knife.

"Calvin, in honor of you working the Haverfest shift five years in a row, I would like you to cut and reveal the cake," she said.

Calvin frowned. "I couldn't take the spotlight from you. You've worked just as hard the past five years."

She sat down next to him, Kevin on her other side. "And this is why you need to do it. You care for all of us before yourself. So please, for the love of god, be selfish and cut the damn cake."

Melanie placed a hand on his shoulder. "Do it, babe. It's okay to be appreciated. We all love you."

"Not all of us," Jay squawked at the other end of the fire, sitting next to a girl donning a headband with velvet cat ears atop her short curly hair. She kept a respectable distance from him, Rory on her other side.

Calvin's eyes were lined with silver as he sliced into the cake. He placed the first piece on a plate, his eyes wide at what was at the center of her death-like creation. Then he tipped back and laughed so hard, it startled the rest of the group.

"Fuck I'm nervous," Tyler whined. He shifted toward Rory and buried his face in her neck, curling his arms around her waist.

"Aw, is big boy Tyler scared ?" Rory teased.

"Menace," he growled.

"Come on, Cal, spill the tea…or in this case, the cake," Kevin said.

Calvin sat up, wiping tears from his eyes. "This year's cake is certainly savory."

Brows furrowed as they all looked at Jess.

She smirked. "The top layer of the cake is vanilla, mixed with ketchup," she explained. "The bottom layer is the same, but with Worcestershire sauce. And in the center is—"

"Meatloaf," Calvin answered for her, holding up a slice.

The group screamed and gagged. Kevin laughed along with Calvin. He took the slice from Calvin and a cotton-candy-colored spoon from Melanie. Everyone watched in horror as Kevin dug into the slice and took a bite.

He coughed, swallowing slowly, then grinned at Jess. "Tastes just like Gram's."

The group lost it, and Jess loved every second. She kept her eyes on Kevin, his gaze playful as he took another bite, then winced. She chuckled and passed slices out to the rest of the group before taking her seat next to him again.

He shimmied closer to her. "Hey, Jess?"

She took a bite of the meatloaf, surprisingly not hating the taste of it. The caramelized shallots were actually a nice touch. "Yeah?"

His eyes darted back and forth as he scanned her face. "You make me smile, too."