Chapter Twenty-Five

A nne heard some movements in her room before she entered, but thought that her sister was simply restless in her sleep. She closed the door quietly and undressed for sleep. Finding some water in a jug, a basin and a cloth, she poured the cool water over the cloth and held it to her eyes and nose. Swollen from crying, she waited for some relief. A noise from the bed got her attention.

Alianor lay under the covers and was faking sleep. Anne smiled at memories of this game from when they were children. She walked over quietly and dribbled some water on her, awaiting a reaction. Her sister sat up, admitting detection and defeat. ’Twas then that Anne noticed Alianor’s eyes and nose were swollen and red, too. When she would not meet her gaze, she knew the truth.

“You listened? To all of it?” Tugging down the blanket she held revealed that she was still dressed.

“Of course,” she said, sliding back to make room for her. “You would never tell me.”

“It was private. You should not have eavesdropped.”

“He loves you.” When she turned away to replace the cloth, Alianor grabbed her hand. “He loves you, Anne. Do you love him?”

She nodded because she could not say the words.

“What do you plan to do now?”

“I think I should stay here.”

“Here? As in here at this convent?” She nodded again and her sister burst out laughing.

“You, a nun? I think not! You could not obey mindlessly whatever they tell you to do.”

“I am old and wiser now. I have learned…” She could think of nothing to say.

“Older and wiser, my arse! You will be thrown out within two months of settling in.” Alianor pulled her into a hug. “Do not do this. Think, think about what your life would be like here.”

“It would be peaceful. It would be challenging. And people would not die because of me.”

“Ah. Father’s war has you worried, then?”

Anne smacked her on the leg. “Alianor, you are so irreverent. You should not speak of war so lightly. People will die if I come back with you.”

“But most of them will be the worthless Lancastrians. ’Twould be a service to the world to rid England of a few more of them.”

“Alianor!”

“’Tis true! But back to your problems. Other than losing a few…you know, why can you not take your place with us?”

“There is nothing for me. Father could not arrange another marriage since I am barren. ’Tis an impedi ment to a true marriage. Should I sit at home with mother and embroider the rest of my life?”

“And here? You would do what?”

“Anything that needs doing. Sew, clean, cook. Care for the sick.”

Alianor flinched with each word. “It will not work.”

“I have no choice. I cannot return with you.”

“Anne, I cannot lose you. Not now.”

Anne gathered her sister close and embraced her. “Fear not—I will always be there for you.”

Anne slid back and removed her headpiece. Loosening her braids, she knew her sister still had something to say.

“He meets with Sister Genevieve before prime tomorrow. Something about a package to pick up and some supplies for Lady Margaret.”

“And you think what? That I should go to him and beg him to keep me?” Anne slid off the bed and threw the cloth at the basin, splashing water everywhere. “He is not ready to love.”

Alianor rubbed her forehead and grunted. “Not ready to love? Did you hear anything he said tonight?”

“He kept the truth from me. Not only about you, but also about himself. He did not trust me with his past.” That was the worst part for her. He said he loved her, but he did not trust in it.

“It takes some time for men to speak of their love and to learn to put their trust in a woman. It took Guy months and some drastic action on my part before he could admit to loving me.”

“Alianor, what did you do?”

Her sister sat with an angelic expression as she outlined her attack on Guy’s heart. “First, I threw out his leman.” At her gasp, she explained further. “Ours was an arranged marriage, Anne. I did not expect love from him immediately, but I did expect him to give up his mistress or, at the least, not flaunt her to me.”

“But, Alianor, ’tis a husband’s right.”

Anne received a hand in the face, waving off her words. “Mother already gave me that lecture and I did not like it then or now. I had fallen a bit in love with him and did not want to share him. So, after I rid the castle of Madeleine, I took him prisoner in our chambers until he admitted he loved me.”

“Are you certain he did not say the words just to escape you?” She could not believe her sister’s actions. But, thinking back on her as a child, mayhap this was not so surprising.

Alianor thought about her question before answering and a strange look came into her eyes. She shook her head. “Nay. He did not just say the words to escape me. He gave himself to me that day.”

The poignancy of her answer touched Anne.

She wanted that. That confidence in the love someone held for her. ’Twas not meant to be hers, she feared.

“You accuse him of not trusting you with his past,” she said. “Can you trust him with your future?”

Anne could not answer. She walked to the other cot and lay down. Pulling the covers up to her shoulders, she thought about all that had been said and thought and felt. Surely the answer was in there somewhere?

William took the packages from Sister Genevieve and promised her safe delivery to Lady Margaret. He ran into Isabel, damn it, Anne, as he left the prioress’s room. She looked well rested and content. Good. Hopefully his words had given her some measure of release from the unnecessary guilt she carried.

“My lady,” he said, moving aside. “I did not see you there.”

“I have been waiting for you, Royce.”

He looked toward the gate and saw the traveling party of the Countess of Hexham leaving. Isabel, Anne, stood before him. “Are you not returning with your sister?”

“Nay,” she answered, shaking her head.

“Are you staying here at the convent, then?” He could not picture her being happy here, but it was not his place to judge her plans.

“Oh, nay. Lady Margaret and Sister Genevieve pointed out that I would not be happy here.” She leaned in and whispered, “They said I had too much of my sister in me to ever hope to take orders.”

He thought he must have had too much of Connor’s brew again, for nothing was as he thought it would be. Isabel, damn it, Anne, was cheerful and pleasant to him.

“Then where will you go?”

“Silloth. Margaret and Orrick have offered me a place at their board.”

He reeled back at her words. She was coming to Silloth? He shook his head. How could he live there and live without her? This was more than he could deal with. He would have to leave. How could he watch her and not be able to love her?

“They have suggested that I consider marriage to Hugh or to Richard, but I know that no good man will have me since I cannot give him children. All I have to do is find a man who is not good.”

With so many disjointed thoughts going through his mind, it took him some moments to figure out her teasing way of asking him to marry her. Could it be true? Could they do this?

“You trusted me with your past last night and my love for you is still here, Royce. Can I trust you with my future?”

“Isabel, damn it, Anne, ” he said.

“Isabel is fine. It is my name now.”

“Is this truly what you want to do? Please, tease me not for I could not bear to lose you again.”

She stepped closer and answered him. “In all seriousness, I cannot openly return to my family. The war which cost my eldest brother his life will be revived to gain vengeance in my name and I stand to lose too many. So my death gives them a chance at life, much as yours did for your sister. I can trust her people to keep my secret.”

He nodded, understanding her choice as she had his.

“And returning to Silloth?”

“Margaret and Orrick did make that offer to me, a place there with or without you. However, Margaret and Alianor both suggested ways to be certain that I would return there as your wife.”

“Will you be my wife? Be mine always, come what may?”

“I will, Royce. Come what may.”