Chapter 22
THE nokk
I look into the eyes of my sweet lover, Brandon, as I hold him against my green-gray, waterlogged chest with my webbed hands. My teeth are yellow, my tongue is green-black, and my hair is a mess. My instincts tell me to run and hide. To change.
But then Bran smiles at me.
He leans in and kisses me passionately. His mouth is making love to me.
Startled, I need a second to recover. Then I kiss him back, clutching his face. As he stands naked before me, I strip off the remainder of my wet costume. Then I push him toward my bed.
Brandon falls onto his back, and I settle between his legs, and we're kissing hard. "Don't ever leave me again. I need you with me," he says between kisses.
"I couldn't help it."
"But you hid from me. You ran away, because you thought I wouldn't like you like this. You're wrong," he mutters. "You're so wrong. I love you. And now that I can see who you really are, I love you even more. Don't hide from me. I love all of you. All of you. Do you hear me?"
As if Brandon knows what I'm thinking, he starts kissing me again, only this time it's not just my mouth, it's everywhere. He kisses the webs between my fingers. He kisses my black nails and wrinkled skin. He runs his lips down my mottled arm. He makes me shiver.
"If you need to shapeshift into a human form to feel more comfortable when you're out in public, I will support you. But when we're alone, promise you won't hide from me anymore. I can't stand it if you don't think you can be who you really are."
"I love you," I say. "So much. No one else has ever treated me the way you do."
He hugs me tight. His grip around my body makes me feel safe. Brandon makes me feel safe.
I kiss him. He doesn't seem to be put off by my black tongue and my mossy skin. He seems to enjoy them. Revel in them.
I am so in love with him, I don't know what to do with myself.
"Come on, let's shower off the river water," Bran says, and I get up and follow him into the bathroom.
Warm, soapy hands slide all over my body. Bran spends time touching me everywhere—even places that don't really get dirty. He washes my balls as if they're fine china.
That image makes me laugh. I tell him, and we both double over.
"You're mine," he whispers. "Mine to take care of."
"It's the other way around. You're mine."
"Then maybe we belong together."
"There's no maybe about it," I say. "You belong to me. I'm never letting you go."
"Good."
He bites his lip. "Calder," he whispers. And I melt. I'd already melted for him, but now I'm gone.
"Brandon."
When we've dried off, our skin warm, we go to his bed. Brandon settles on top of me, his legs between mine, and plays with my hair. He seems to love my hair.
"Can we, um, do it?" he asks, kissing my neck.
"Do what?"
His cheeks go red. "You know. Have sex. Make love. Fuck."
A shiver runs through me. I've wanted to be as close to Brandon as possible. Inside him, or him inside me. I do not care which. All I know is that he is my lover, and I want to show him how much I want to worship his body.
I try to remain calm and collected, when in reality my heart is going at double speed or more.
"Sure," I say, attempting to be nonchalant. "How do you want to do that?"
"You inside me. Or do you want me to be inside you?"
"I don't know," I whisper. "I've never done it."
"Me neither. Not like this." We look at each other a moment, and then Brandon says, "I really want to try bottoming. I've been watching porn and wondering how it feels. The guys seem to like it."
"Okay. We can do that." My heart skips a beat, and I almost shift into my human form. But no. Brandon wants me like this.
"I think I need to prep." Brandon bites his lip. "Witchipedia says we need to use a lot of lube and stretch me a lot."
"You Boo-gled it?"
"You can find everything there," Brandon says.
I kiss him. I can't not kiss him. My skin is buzzing, and I'm aflame with the desire to possess this man. To make him mine.
I want to make this good for him. I believe it will hurt if I go too fast, and I want to be sure that I never hurt him, this fragile human.
Fragile human who's done what I thought was impossible: accepted me as I am, for who I am.
As I dip my tongue into his mouth, Brandon lets out a low moan that's the neediest sound I've ever heard. I run my cool hands all over him. He's so warm and full of sunshine. He reminds me of a summer meadow bursting with golden flowers.
I don't want to stop kissing him, but I grab the lube and squirt some into my hand so I can take care of his erection, which is jutting up and hitting me in the hip.
Now it's my turn to groan. "Do you understand how beautiful you are?" I ask.
He smiles at me and kisses me harder, grabbing my ass so he can grind his cock against mine. He's kneading my back. I'm thrusting against him, but I'm going to have to go slowly or else I'm going to come fast.
"I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing, but …" I pat his hip. "Get on your stomach and let me prep you. I think I can figure this out."
He hastens to obey, and I pick up the lube bottle again. When I drip some along his ass crack, he shivers. "Oh my god, that's cold and … lubey."
I snort. "Lubey? Is that a word?"
"I have no idea."
I gather some of the liquid on my fingertips and gently circle his hole, then press inside.
He hisses and stiffens. "Oh, monster gods. That's a weird feeling. It's full. I guess the doctor's done it before, but wow, that's different."
"Want me to stop?" I kiss his shoulder.
"No. Keep going. I want to experience this. I want to experience everything with you."
Once he seems more relaxed, I wiggle a second finger into him, and he starts to loosen up. I'm so hard I could probably saw down a tree with my dick.
But eventually his body accepts my fingers easily. Meanwhile, I'm kissing every bit of his skin that I can. His ass, his gorgeous back. I'm whispering how beautiful he is.
Brandon turns to look at me, and his eyes are red. I go still, trying not to panic. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he says. "I like it when you're talking all nice to me."
"I've wanted you since the moment I saw you," I admit.
"Want as in to have sex? Or want as in to drag me to your nokk world."
"Both, but also just to get to know you. You're so kind and full of life."
He chuckles, which turns into a pleasured hiss. "What's that?"
"I think I found your prostate," I say, satisfied.
"I … I can deal with that. Can you do it again?"
I gently press against the soft flesh, and he hisses again. "Oh my god, keep that up and I'll see stars."
"Do you want me to use a condom?" I ask. "nokk don't get human conditions, so I can't pass anything to you—and I haven't been with anyone anyway—but if it would make you feel better, I'll wear one. It would probably also be less messy that way."
"It's fine without," he says. "I haven't been with anyone since my last checkup. Let me move." I withdraw my finger. He flops over and kisses me, wrapping his muscular arms around me. "I'm excited that I'm doing this with you."
"How do you want to … I mean, what position?" I ask.
"Um, I think it might be easier if I'm on my hands and knees," he says. "Or," he adds with a wink, "we can experiment."
Brandon kneels forward on the bed, and I take a moment to drink him in as he looks over his shoulder. He's perfect. His soft, warm, tan skin. His athletic muscles. His messy dark hair. His sweet eyes and pouty mouth. His smooth, gorgeous ass.
"Fuck, I need you," I groan and line up behind him. Deciding I need even more lube, I drizzle a ton on me and then start pressing in.
It's more difficult than I expect. I bounce back out at first and have to press harder.
Brandon inhales sharply, and I freeze. "What's wrong?"
"It burns. Stings."
"Want me to pull out?"
"No. Hang on. Just … I read about this. It will take a moment, but my body should accept you."
"I don't want to hurt you."
He insists on continuing, though, and at a nod from him, I press in farther.
"Oh, god," he groans.
"Is that good or bad?"
"Both."
"I'm getting worried that we should stop," I admit.
"No. Keep going."
I do, little by little, until I'm all the way inside him, my hips pressed against his perfect ass.
We both stay there a moment, panting.
"Oh my monster gods, this is the strangest feeling ever," he says.
"Do you like it?"
He bites his lip and nods. "Weirdly, yeah. It's … Fuck, I like it, but it kind of hurts, and I kind of need you to move."
"Whatever you say," I whisper. "I'll do anything you ask."
I pull out and thrust back in, little movements, not wanting to slip out, because it feels like it would be hard to get back inside.
I needn't have worried, though, because after a moment, I get into a rhythm.
Fuck , yes. I bite the muscle of his shoulder, gently, and he growls.
I reach around to stroke his cock, but it's softened. "Are you okay?" I whisper. "Tell me."
"Yeah. I like this. I, oh, damn, that feels good."
I must've got his prostate right. I do the same move again and again, and his cock starts to recover.
Good.
"Brandon, love. You look amazing like this. And you feel even better."
"Give me more cock," he says. "More cock, less talk."
I giggle. "Okay."
I can't do that and stroke him at the same time, so I brace my hands on his hips and really start fucking him. I thrust over and over, mesmerized by the way his hole swallows my cock. The way the muscles in his back flex and move. The way his ass cheeks jiggle when I slap them with my body or my hand. The way his damp curls stick to his temples and the back of his neck.
The way I'm dripping sweat on him, and he's panting, stroking himself with one hand.
"I've dreamt of this so many times," I tell him. "The first night I was here, I had a wet dream about you. Like a teenager."
"Is that why your sheets were stripped that morning?"
"Yes."
"Awesome. Fuck, that's sexy. Also, I might come without you touching me," he says, breathless, letting go of his cock and bracing himself on the bed. "If you keep this up."
"Then yes, let's do that."
Both of us are weary and kiss-stung. Brandon's got a bite mark on his shoulder. I'm single-mindedly determined to make him come. So I keep going, the same angle and intensity, listening to him moan and wail, listening to him pant and beg for more, and giving it to him over and over and over again.
At last his body seizes, and he holds his breath, puts his face in the mattress, and comes with a buried shout.
It's a thing of beauty. He's a thing of beauty.
Then I'm coming inside him, and I've never experienced bliss like this before in my life.
"I love you, Calder," he says, and I collapse against him, holding him tight to me.
This is my human.