Chapter 8

Iwoke up feeling ridiculously well-rested and refreshed. My eyes popped at the sight of the time. I rarely slept in, considering it a waste of daylight. Normally, my running shoes were hitting the pavement by no later than 6:30 for my morning jog. But here I was, sprawled in the divinely comfy giant bed in my quarters well after 9:00 AM. I hopped out of bed with a spring in my step before heading to the bathroom for my morning ablutions.

Whatever dream Zain had thrown me into after our little confrontation had been wonderful. I hated that the details eluded me. I couldn’t even remember what it had been about or where it had taken place; only that it had made me happy. And yet, every single moment and conversation during my time in the Mist with my Nightmare—or Darkest Desire as he labeled himself—was crystal clear in my mind.

Zain both confused and fascinated me. There was no question he was a psychopath. And yet, as much as he enjoyed terrifying others—yours truly included—and taking the lives of those he considered lesser, he didn’t actually want to hurt me. He terrorized me in order to please me, not realizing his actions had the exact opposite effect. Zain wanted my approval, but his understanding of what I wanted was twisted by the lenses through which he saw the world.

The lenses I gave him.

Zain believed himself to be in love with me. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. He didn’t know me, only the tortured version of me that he had dreamed up. Navigating his expectations would be tricky, especially since he could read my thoughts.

As I brushed my hair, I tried to analyze my own feelings towards him. I didn’t really know how to think of him. He wasn’t really a person, not in the traditional sense. The virtual world he evolved in had skewed his perception of right and wrong as well as of pleasure and pain. The lawless, dog-eat-dog ruleset of his realm, further fueled by my own ‘dark desires’ that had shaped him as a psychopath, would make it insanely challenging for him to fit in this world.

All these years, I’d been incredibly terrified of him. Now, I saw him as an exciting project I couldn’t wait to get started on. What an incredible psychological study he represented. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. One that could also save countless innocent lives.

I finished dressing and slipped my feet into my ankle boots, mentally kicking myself for not having brought more casual footwear. Then again, I hadn’t believed I would have made it this far. I picked my access card then headed to the cafeteria.

The construction crew that had been working on repairing the destroyed glass wall were nowhere to be seen. With the door into that chamber closed, I couldn’t tell if they’d completed the task. However, considering how swiftly they’d progressed last night, I assumed they were done.

The large doors to the cafeteria swished open before me. The delectable aroma that invaded my nostrils had my stomach instantly rumbling with hunger. The imposing, oddly shaped room had a dozen rectangular tables wide enough to accommodate six to eight people. However, only a handful of them were occupied by clustered groups of agents, with the odd man out, eating by himself in the back corner of the room. My eyes widened when I recognized Riley.

I made a beeline for him, excited to have someone who could relate to what I was currently experiencing. It didn’t hurt that we’d instantly clicked as well during the ride here.

“Hey! You made it!” I exclaimed, stopping on the other side of the table from him.

“Naima! There you are! I was wondering when I was going to see you!” Riley replied with a beaming smile.

“When or if?” I asked, slightly taken aback.

“When,” he said, matter-of-factly. “You were the talk of this whole circus last night after the agent escorted you to that corridor, not to mention your badass Nightmare.”

“Right, I can see that,” I said scrunching my face.

“Go grab some food, and then I can spill the tea about what you missed while you eat,” Riley said in a conspiratorial tone that had me burning with curiosity.

I headed towards the buffet. It was quite the impressive spread with a hot and cold section. Trays with scrambled and hard-boiled eggs, ham, sausage, bacon, steaks, hash browns, and sautéed vegetables sat near the pancakes, porridge, and oatmeal. Next to them, a variety of breakfast cereals, yogurts in ice bowls, muesli, and fresh cut fruits transitioned into the final section with breads and pastries, from sweet to savory, with a selection of cheeses, cold cuts, smoked salmon, jams, and other spreads. The decadent abundance on display was simply mind-boggling. The cost of the food laid out before me would easily add up to my annual salary of the next couple of years, including the yearly bonuses.

Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I picked up a tray and shamelessly piled on the meat. Being a sucker for hash browns—and potatoes in general—I squeezed a small amount of it on my plate, then filled a bowl with fresh fruits to give me good conscience. As I was putting the spoon down, the sudden appearance of a hand on the other side of the freshly cut vegetables startled me. I realized then that what I had believed to be a set of mirrors at the back of the buffet was in fact a row of food trays catering to a completely different group.

I crouched and was shocked to see a whole other cafeteria with a much larger group. I recognized the faces of some of the candidates that had traveled with me last night or that I had seen in the Observatory. It first struck me as odd, but in light of all the things that had happened to me last night, I could see why Thomson wouldn’t want me openly talking with others who had not made the cut.

Which means Riley also has a Nightmare.

That got me all the more eager to hear what he had to say. After a short detour by the beverage station to get a cappuccino and a tall glass of orange juice, I hastened back to Riley’s table. He burst out laughing at the sight of the mountain of food on my plate. I scrunched my face in embarrassment, and my cheeks heated.

My appearance was quite deceiving. I was six feet tall with not an ounce of fat on me except where you wanted a bit—boobs, hips, and butt. However, if I put my mind to it, I could probably eat my own size. Growing up, my friends had hated me for my crazy metabolism. I settled down across from him, relieved to see he still had some food left on his plate. It would have been a little awkward to have him just watching me stuff my face.

“Tell me everything!” I said while digging in.

“Your Nightmare devouring that Beast naturally had everyone talking,” Riley said with an almost boyish excitement, his light brown eyes sparkling. “We were all dying with curiosity after the agent took you through that door no one else had. Then everything got boring for a bit. Most of the Mistwalkers were just hovering there, looking stupid. A few of them followed some of the candidates, but they were quite subdued. They reminded me of lost puppies looking for a home.”

“Sparks and newly awakened Wishes, I’m guessing,” I said pensively before stuffing a chunk of spicy beef sausage in my mouth.

Riley nodded. “A few more people got escorted out. We all expected to get the boot. Then this one Nightmare came charging in, just killing everything. That freak was making a show of it and enjoying every moment. All the sentient Walkers and Beast hauled the heck out of there.”

“Oh wow!” I whispered.

“Wow, indeed,” Riley said with a troubled chuckle. “It was quite a disturbing sight. But then, when there was nothing left to kill, he started stalking Julia, one of the other candidates.”

My eyes widened, and I instinctively looked around the room for any signs of a civilian woman, but only saw a couple of female agents.

Riley chuckled again. “She’s not here, yet. Julia did go through the same door you and I did, though.”

“She probably slept in like me then,” I said before taking a sip of my cappuccino. “What happened after that?”

“Once Julia’s freak was gone, the Mist Beings came back,” Riley said with a contagious enthusiasm. “That’s when my Merax showed up. He was badass and killed a huge Beast in front of us. It wasn’t as big as the one your Nightmare devoured, but it was still impressive.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You know, listening to you talking, I could see people holding Beast fights the way they do dog and cock fights.”

My smile faded at the troubled look that descended on Riley’s face.

“Those already exist,” he said grimly. “There’s some crazy shit happening out there. Beast vs. Beast is fine. The problem is when they start throwing humans in an arena with those creatures and take bets on how long they’ll survive, and which Beast will get to them first.”

I covered my mouth with my hand as I stared at him in horror. He snorted and gave me a sad smile.

“Some humans are the real monsters,” he said dejectedly. “But that’s a conversation for another time. Anyway, my Merax did his thing then started stalking me, trying to get me to come to the window near him. I got in that corridor, while he followed me.”

“Did they pull the seahorse fairy stunt on you?” I asked with curiosity.

He shook his head. “No, Julia told me her nightmare ate it. I got a Pegasus Bambi.”

“Aww! He must have been soooo cute!” I said with a smile.

Riley chuckled. “He was… Until Merax ate it.”

I gasped, and my companion burst out laughing at my shocked expression. “Your Nightmare ate Bambi?” I exclaimed, flabbergasted. “You didn’t try to stop him?”

He shrugged in a ‘What can you do?’ kind of way. “I tried. For a second, I thought he would listen, but in the end, the temptation of an easy meal was just too great.”

“Doesn’t that frighten you?” I asked, troubled to find him still so excited—almost proud—of his Nightmare’s uncontrollable urges.

“No,” Riley said with calm conviction. “Merax is the sum of all my fears. I’m a gay man who was raised by devout Christians. I conjured Merax to punish me for my sinful desires and impure thoughts.”

“They’re not sinful,” I said with a frown. “There is no shame in being who and what you are.”

Riley smiled gently and with an inner peace that made me realize I had misinterpreted his current feelings about his sexual orientation.

“I have learned that since,” Riley said. “But at the time, Merax embodied all the bullies and haters that had made my life hell growing up. All those who had rejected me over the years… When I realized who he was, I panicked. I literally wanted to run out of here and go back home. If not for the Mist, I might have done just that.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” I said with commiseration. “I almost fled the minute we arrived. I had not prepared myself to look at the Mist again.”

“Again?” Riley asked, his curiosity piqued.

I told him the story of Jared’s death, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family had spawned Zain.

“But he didn’t kill the fairy,” I said with undisguised pride.

“Which puts you in the driver’s seat of this entire operation,” Riley said without bitterness or jealousy, but with an enthusiasm laced with curiosity.

I recoiled at that comment. “What do you mean?”

Riley opened his mouth to answer, but something behind me drew his attention. He suddenly smiled and waved. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a woman with a slight limp come towards us. Blond with green eyes—although her dark eyebrows hinted that she was really a brunette—the female appeared to be in her early forties. Despite her limp, she walked straight, with determined steps and had a commanding aura about her.

“Julia,” I guessed.

“Yep,” Riley said.

After some quick introductions, Julia went to get some food then came back to join us.

“So, I hear your Nightmare upstaged mine,” I said to Julia in a friendly tone.

She snorted and shook her head. “Hardly. Your Nightmare kicked some serious butt with style and ease. Mine was just an elephant in a china store. He’s a bully. He made a show of slaughtering the weak ones to scare the others into thinking he’s stronger than he truly is. Your Zain would make mincemeat out of him. If your boy is willing, mine is in need of a spanking.”

Riley and I burst out laughing at her dejected expression. She smiled, but I didn’t miss the sad glimmer in her eyes.

“You think he’s unredeemable?” I asked in a sympathetic tone.

She shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the case. My Letho is a little too much like a man’s nightmare.”

I recoiled at that comment, while Riley narrowed his eyes.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Haven’t you noticed the high percentage of female candidates?” Julia asked. I stilled and scanned my memories, indeed remembering thinking that there was a disproportionately high number of women. “There’s obviously a reason for it. Men’s Nightmares tend to be the real deal, the true extreme. They can’t be reasoned with. They’re like Jason, Michael, and Freddy Kruger: single-minded and relentless in their bloodthirst. Whereas women’s Nightmares tend to walk the fine line between psychopaths and Dark Desires.”

I nodded slowly. “Beauty and the Beast. Women often fantasize about the villain falling in love with them.”

Riley snorted, drawing our attention. “I was in love with my biggest bully in school.”

“There was no love involved in what spawned my Nightmare,” Julia said grimly. “Unlike both of your Nightmares, Letho hasn’t been haunting me since my youth, but since the past six years. I’m a former special op. My helicopter went down over a contested area. Only two others in my unit survived. We were captured and tortured. My comrades were maimed, crippled, and eventually killed. As for me, well… you know what happens to women.”

My heart broke for her. I wanted to reach out and hug her, but the professional in me recognized she didn’t need it and wouldn’t welcome it. I couldn’t help but admire her strength. There had been no tremor in her voice, no physical tell of denial. She had faced her demons and learned to cope with them instead of letting them control her.

“So, there are definitely no dark desires between my Nightmare and me,” Julia continued, “No Stockholm Syndrome either. Letho is the embodiment of my pain, my hatred, my rage, and hunger for revenge. He’s a wild and an uncontrollable animal, a beast… a demon.”

“A demon that you now must tame,” I said, matter-of-factly, although she understood my underlying meaning.

“Yep, again!” Julia said bitterly before shoving a mouthful oatmeal with dried fruits in her mouth.

Why she’d chosen all the ‘lamest’ things from the buffet baffled me.

“So, your Zain created some excitement last night,” Julia continued. “Everyone pretty much pissed themselves when the alarm went off. Thomson told us—meaning only Riley and me—that your Nightmare broke through the protective glass.”

“He told you!” I exclaimed, flabbergasted.

They nodded. Beyond my shock upon hearing this, my respect for the program director went up a notch. His ‘failure’ to protect me had shaken my confidence in the organization. But the transparency he displayed throughout the process so far certainly inspired trust. This was a new, experimental process. Of course, accidents would happen.

“Is it true that Zain branded you?” Riley asked. “Thomson says if we proceed with the project, we will need to let our own Nightmares mark us as well.”

“It’s true,” I said before lowering the collar of my shirt to show my brand. It still throbbed, but it was thankfully no longer tender to the touch. “There it is.”

They both leaned forward, examining it with fascination. Oddly enough, I didn’t feel self-conscious having two strangers all but staring at my boob.

“Did it move?” Riley asked, awe filling his voice.

I nodded. “Yeah. Well, it’s more like the lines waver a little, the way smoke does,” I corrected.

“What happened?” Julia asked.

I gave them a quick rundown of everything that had happened, from the crashed window, to Zain dragging me to the Mist.

“Oh my God, you already asked?!” Riley exclaimed. “Did he accept?”

I frowned and pursed my lips, unsure how to answer. “I don’t really know. Part of what he said, when he was hitting on me, implied that he was going to do it, if only to have me. But another part hinted that he wasn’t ready to commit yet and wanted to think about it.”

“He’s going to cross over,” Julia said with a certainty that took me aback. “He spent too much time building up his reserves to bail at this point, especially now that you want him to come. I think he’s mostly trying to decide if he wants to do it under his terms or following ours.”

“That makes sense,” I said nodding slowly. “But—”

“Thomson’s here,” Riley suddenly said, interrupting me.

My head jerked right to look over my shoulder. The beaming smile with which the older man addressed me had me perking up with curiosity and something akin to excitement.

“Good morning, everyone,” Thomson said, stopping next to my chair. “I’m pleased to see you’re making each other’s acquaintance. Hopefully, in the upcoming days, you will become the first handlers of the Mist Defense Squad.”

I felt silly for being so stoked about it. I hadn’t trained to be some sort of superhero handler. Seeing the same thrill reflected on the faces of my companions made it all better.

“Riley, Julia, I’m stealing Ms. Connors from you,” Director Thomson said, pointing at me with his chin. “Belinda will be here shortly to discuss the next steps with your respective Nightmares.”

They both nodded and waved me goodbye as I rose to my feet.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it for you,” Riley said when I leaned forward to pick up my food tray.

I gave him a grateful smile and, complying with Thomson gesturing for me to proceed, I headed towards the door. It bothered me that he had addressed both of them by their given names when he still called me Ms. Connors.

“I’m pleased to see that you are well rested,” he said in a friendly tone, while holding the door open for me.

“Yes, thank you, Director Thomson,” I said graciously.

“You can call me Alfred, although most people simply call me Thomson.”

I smiled, relieved to have been afforded the same courtesy as the others. “Only if you call me Naima,” I replied.

“Naima it is,” he said with a grin. “Your little Zain paid me a visit while I slept last night.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and gaped at him with bulging eyes. “He did?!”

“Mmhmm,” Thomson said with a nod. “He wanted to know if our offer was genuine, or if I was manipulating you in order to lure him into a trap.”

My jaw further dropped. I should have accounted for that possibility, but it never even crossed my mind. Clearly, I had much to learn about spy games.

“Were you able to convince him?” I asked, my stomach knotting with apprehension.

“Come see for yourself,” Thomson said with a mischievous grin.

My heart leapt in my chest as he led me to a door similar to the one that had led to the first holding cell that Zain had destroyed. The door opened onto a larger room but with an identical layout. A desk sat a few meters in front of a large glass wall. This one had been doubled. The backdoor, which no doubt opened onto the tunnels to the exit was sealed. The Mist swirled inside the room. However, it was the whitish cloud streaked with lightning right below the surface that held all of my attention.

Laid down on some kind of camp bed, it clearly had the shape of a very tall and broad human male. The barely defined limbs and features could have passed for those of a partially melted wax statue.

I ran up to the reinforced glass wall and pressed my palms against its cool surface. “He’s crossing over!” I exclaimed in an awed whisper.

“He is,” Thomson said with undisguised excitement in his voice. “Zain came in four hours ago. He’s so damn powerful, he’s forming at an accelerated pace. Most Transients whose births we’ve managed to record took between six to eight hours just to achieve this level of development and nearly twelve to fully form. At this rate, your Nightmare could be awake in the next couple of hours.”

My head jerked towards him in shock, the reality of what was about to happen finally sinking in. What if Zain had been the one playing us? What if he’d seized this opportunity to benefit from a safe birth only to destroy us from within? Granted, in his human form, he could easily be dispatched with a well-placed bullet or two—as long as he was still weak from birth. But what if he played along until he grew strong enough before showing his true face?

“I see your wheels turning,” Thomson said with an approving smile. “It is good to question the intentions of a potential threat. One can never be too prudent when dealing with the unknown. But, for the time being, Zain is not a threat.”

I clamped down on the relief that wanted to take over me, refusing to rejoice too early. “What makes you say that?”

“My son-in-law, Risul,” Thomson said, matter-of-factly. I blinked in confusion, and his smile broadened. “My daughter is married to her Wish; except she has chosen to live with him in the Mist.”

“Are you shitting me?” I exclaimed, immediately embarrassed by my lack of self-control.

But who could blame me for having my mind blown by such a comment? Thankfully, Thomson chuckled, not offended in the least.

“No, I’m not. But that’s a story for another time,” Thomson replied in a friendly tone. “I always spend the three days of the Mist with them, either in our world or in theirs.” He turned to look at Zain’s body still forming with a wistful expression on his face. “The minute he branded you, I knew he would come for you in your sleep, and that he would read your mind. I had hoped you would convince him enough for him to come seek validation.”

Thomson turned back to gaze upon my face with an expression I couldn’t define. Yet, hope and gratitude seemed to be part of the mix.

“Remember what I told you about being able to read minds in the Mist?” Thomson asked. I nodded and hugged my midsection. “The same way Zain was able to read you, Risul was able to read Zain. The absence of ill-intention from him was the only reason my son-in-law allowed me out of the safety of his domain to speak with Zain. According to Risul, your Nightmare is naturally obsessed with you, but he’s also crazy in love with you.”

I shook my head in denial. “He believes he’s in love with me because I programmed him that way.”

But even as I said those words, the warmth that spread in my chest troubled me. His obsession with me should worry me, not please me.

Thomson smiled in the paternal way of the wise who knew better. “Walkers do not ‘convince’ themselves of things that aren’t there,” he explained in a gentle tone. “They are very binary when it comes to their emotions. They love or they don’t. Zain loves you. He will never love another but you, even though he doesn’t necessarily understand the concept of love. You didn’t create him that way. But he will never hurt you, because his existence is defined by the need to please you.”

“He stalked me because that’s what he thought I wanted,” I said with a nod, although my mind still reeled from his statement.

“That’s correct. Understand, Naima, that Zain is absolutely a psychopath,” Thomson warned. “He would have no qualms killing every single person here and on Earth if he thought that would please you.”

I felt myself pale at the realization of what he was saying. That, too, I hadn’t taken into consideration.

“He doesn’t have morals the way we do. He has no compassion or empathy. He craves power and dominance and doesn’t care who he must trample along the way to achieve it… except for you. And he wants to kill. He gets off on the terror of his victims. That will never change,” Thomson said, his gaze boring into mine as he tried to drive his point home. “Even if he wanted to, and no matter what you might try to do, he will always remain a cold, bloodthirsty killer. But handled correctly, Zain can still become one of humanity’s greatest protectors.”

“You’re afraid I have unreal expectations,” I said, tilting my head to the side.

“I want to help you manage your expectations,” Thomson corrected. “But I also want you to understand exactly what you are signing up for. Zain will want to claim you as his mate. He will relentlessly pursue you to become his wife.”

I snorted at what I considered an absurd concept. Who the fuck married a dream? The hard glimmer in Thomson’s blue eyes sobered me. I fought the urge to squirm, remembering his own daughter had married one. I hadn’t meant to insult him.

“I’m sorry. I—”

“No need to apologize,” Thomson interrupted in a calm, but slightly cooler tone. “It is a difficult concept for most people to grasp unless they’ve been around a Transient. You will understand once you meet Zain in the flesh. But my point is that in an ideal world, you and Zain would become a couple.”

“WHAT?!”

“Calm down,” Thomson said, raising his palms in an appeasing gesture. “I said ‘in an ideal world.’ I’m not ordering or even pressuring you to do so. But understand that if you enter a romantic relationship with anyone else, Zain will want to kill him.”

“Killing the person I love would hurt me,” I argued. “You said yourself Zain places my happiness above all else.”

“And he does,” Thomson concurred. “But as long as he shares this world with you, he won’t be able to tolerate another man touching you. Zain won’t hurt you, but he might choose to eliminate the source of your potential sorrow to keep himself from doing the irreparable.”

“He will kill himself,” I whispered, understanding dawning on me.

“Once again, I want you to go into this with your eyes wide open so you don’t get blindsided,” Thomson said in an apologetic tone. He turned to look at the desk behind us. “I have left an agenda here for you, with notes on the training program you are to put him through. These are his temporary quarters. He has a full, private bathroom through that door at the back, and clothes in the closet next to it.” Thomson added, pointing at the two doors at the back of the glass cell. “You may let him out of this room to perform all the activities in the schedule. But he is not to go anywhere without you by his side.”

“Naturally,” I said with a nod.

After a few more instructions, Thomson left me to go over the information he had provided me in a tablet. I settled behind the desk, suddenly feeling like the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. Despite that, anticipation bubbled inside me as the muscular shape of my Nightmare grew more defined by the minute.