Chapter 14

Bryson

I knew if I pushed just the right amount, I could make her see. The look on her face as we worked to finish the song said so. The concentration she possessed, the drive, it was all there. Making her see it was the hardest part. I know that walking away almost killed her, but I knew if she let it back in, music could heal her.

"I have an audition in the morning, but we're starting when I get finished." I slowly back away from her. "Thank you for this." I waved the notebook in the air. She nodded and sat back down on the crate she'd used as a seat.

"I think I'm going to stay for a while." She smiled softly.

"I'll call you when I'm finished tomorrow." I waved as I opened the door that led to the stairs. I paused and glanced back to see her closing her eyes and turning her face toward the sky. I didn't know what she was feeling at that moment, but the sadness seemed to have melted away. I only hoped that she meant it when she asked for help.

Aspen

Could I do this? Let the music back in? I watched as Bryson slipped behind the door and disappeared. It was a quiet night, and other than the horns honking below, there wasn't much sound.

I lowered myself to the rooftop and leaned against the edge. I closed my eyes and listened. I hadn't done this in years. The faint sound of crickets played in the distance. Some car radios were faint, and then there was the bar. Every time the door would open, music spilled out into the street. Car horns held down the beat. The longer I sat there, the more I could make out. The music of the city.

I stayed there for at least an hour just listening. Dad and I used to go in the back yard at home. There were more sounds of nature there. Here was the city, but I still appreciated it.

When I made my way down to my apartment, I looked at the baby grand with sad eyes. I wasn't ready for that yet. It was too much. I shuffled over to my keyboard and sighed. I needed to rip the bandage off and just do it. I sat down on the bench and turned on the power. There were so many pieces that I knew by heart, I didn't even bother opening any sheet music. "Here goes nothing," I whispered as I positioned my hands over the keys. I closed my eyes and let go. It was slow at first, and just like the other night, I stumbled over a few spots, but I played. I played for an hour, simple pieces I'd learned as a child. I was out of shape, and I knew if I wanted to get back to where I was, it would involve a lot of practice.

When I finished, I smiled. I thought of Bryson, and how happy he'd be when I told him I'd done this. I turned off the power and just stared at the instrument. "I'll be better." I glanced up. "I'm going to prove I can be as good as you." A twinge pulled at my heart as the words left my lips. I'd always told him I'd never be better than him, but he knew. He knew I had the talent, and he'd pushed me to make sure I knew it too.

I turned off the lights and made my way to bed. I was tired both physically and emotionally. Tomorrow would be a long day, and I wasn't sure if I was up for it.

I laid down, closed my eyes, and let my thoughts drift back. Back to a time when music was my life, a time I never thought I'd revisit, a time that was going to invade my present whether I was ready or not. Bryon was driving music back into my life no matter how hard I fought it, and I think I secretly loved him for it.

It was the middle of the afternoon before he called, and when he did, he was so cryptic that I wasn't sure what I was getting into. He showed up in the late afternoon with his guitar case in hand. "Hey." He grinned when I opened the door.

"Hey yourself. Where are we going?" I was hoping I'd catch him off guard and he'd spill his plans, but nope. He was locked tighter than Fort Knox.

"I've got big plans. Just come with me and keep an open mind." He stepped back so I could lock up.

"That makes me even more unsure of coming," I grumbled. "Is this, ok?" I motioned to the shorts I was wearing. It was summer, and hot out today.

"You look great." He kissed my cheek and reached for my hand.

We walked down the street a few blocks until we came to the park I played in as a child. "I used to love it here. My mom would push me on those swings, and I felt like I was flying." I pointed excitedly over at the blue and red swing set. "Are you bringing me to the park?" I slowed down and he stumbled a little.

"Sort of." He led me off to the left of the playground. There was a small pond with a gazebo that had some picnic tables around it. Set up in the center was a keyboard.

"What is this?" Fear crept into my voice.

"One of my buddies is letting us use it. I thought we could practice." He shrugged.

I swallowed. "This is… a lot." I could feel my heart starting to race, and my palms sweating. Playing in front of people was not what I wanted to do today. I'd thought we were going to get food, maybe hangout and talk about what this was between us, not this.

"Just try," he coaxed. "No one knows us. If it's bad, it won't matter." He gently pulled until I gave in and followed him over. I sat down on the bench, and powered up the keyboard as Bryson tuned his guitar. He set the case in front of us, and then looked over and smiled at me.

"What am I playing?" I shouted in a hushed whisper.

"Whatever you want. I'll just join." He grinned. "Push yourself." He nodded as I sighed. Push myself. What the hell did that mean? I closed my eyes and lowered my hands to the keys. A soft chord sounded, and Bryson nodded. I picked a John Mayer song I'd learned in high school. I went at a slightly slower tempo, but I got through it without a mistake. There were several covers I'd learned over the years from playing open mic nights and entering talent shows. The longer we played the better it felt, and more and more people stopped to listen. I tried to ignore them, I wasn't ready for an audience, but when we finished an acoustic version of "Better Man" I couldn't help but look up.

Bryson

It was working. I was watching the bricks from the wall she'd built slowly crumble apart. The longer we played, the more she seemed to blossom. Her movements were getting more precise with every movement, and I knew she'd be back in a matter of days.

I let her lead, and I joined in with the harmonies until I heard the opening chord to HER song. I say hers because the first time I heard her play this, I knew it was written for her. The melancholy tune for "What Was I Made For?" came quietly at first, and her voice trembled when she started singing, but then it all clicked into place. I stepped back and let her have the moment; I'd done what I'd set out to do, and now I just needed her to see that she could do this. She could do anything.

I don't think she even noticed that I wasn't playing until she hit the final chord. Her eyes opened and I let out a whoop as the group of about fifty park goers erupted in applause. She had a look of shock as she glanced around the crowd. I nodded as tears began to leak from her eyes. I stepped closer, pulled her to a standing position, and wrapped her in my arms. "This…this is what you were made for and so much more." I hugged her tightly.

"I didn't know I could do this." She sobbed as she buried her face in my neck. Several of the people watching stepped forward and tossed bills into my guitar case. "Thank you," she mumbled.

"You can thank me by promising that you'll never give this up again." I pulled back and looked at her face. She was beautiful in all her emotional glory. "Wanna get some food?" I smiled. She nodded, and I packed up my guitar. "We can leave the keyboard; Shawn will come to get it later." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and led her out of the park.

Aspen

It was thrilling and therapeutic in a way. The emotion that poured out of me in that moment. I didn't know I could do that, and the scariest part was I wanted to do it again.

We walked a few blocks to a sandwich shop I patronized as a kid and grabbed dinner. "You know, this is the neighborhood I grew up in." I took a bite of my ham and cheese hoagie. "My parents used to bring me here at least once a week, more after my mom died."

"I didn't know that, but I knew you guys had lived in this neighborhood. I thought if you could conquer your fear here, you could do it anywhere." He glanced out at the street. We were sitting at a small bistro table right in front of the shop.

"That corner store there was a favorite spot when I was little." I pointed to where I used to get drinks and candy from Mr. Vern. "Mom would let me grab a lemonade on hot days, and Mr. Vern would try to sneak candy into the pockets of my jumper. Mom always knew though. I went to school over there." I pointed to a tree-lined area where a big brick building was somewhat hidden from view. I paused for a moment. It felt weird, but in a good way, coming back here. I've lived just a few miles away for years, but the idea of being here without them was just too much. Bryson made it easier to remember. I wasn't sure what I'd do when he had to leave. We only had a few more days, and then I'd be alone once again.

"Stop thinking about it." His words broke into my thoughts.

"How'd you know?" I finished my sandwich and sipped my iced tea.

"I can read you like a book." He grinned. "Stop thinking about what's to come and enjoy what's here now. Come on." He stood up, tossed his paper wrapper, and reached for my hand. "Tell me more about growing up here."

I smiled as I let him lead me down the street. It was a beautiful day, and I chatted away about anything and everything I could remember from my childhood. I left out the bad moments and tried to appreciate everything that was happening. I felt lighter, and music was finally finding its place with me again. I just hoped that tonight when I looked outside, the stars shone as bright as they once did.

Chapter 15

Aspen

Today was my day off. I usually spent the day cleaning the apartment, and grocery shopping. I slept in for the first time in weeks, and when I was finally motivated enough to get out of bed, I saw I had four missed calls from Bryson. I quickly tapped the notification to call him back. The fact that he'd called four times made me worry that something was wrong.

"Good morning, beautiful," he sing-songed into the phone. "Did you sleep well?"

"Are you ok?" I was shocked by his tone.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Maybe because you were blowing up my phone at—" I looked at the timestamp "—eight this morning."

"I thought you'd be awake; you were always a morning person back in the day." He chuckled lightly.

"Not anymore," I grumbled. "What did you need?" I rolled to my back and stared at the ceiling above my bed.

"I thought that maybe we could have a real date tonight. I mean, we've gone out a few times, but I wouldn't consider it a date. I need to shmooze you."

"Shmooze?" I laughed. "By doing what?"

"Come out with me tonight, and you'll see." I could hear papers crinkling in the background.

"I'll need to check my schedule. It's pretty full right now on the shmooze front." I could picture him narrowing his eyes as the words left my lips. "You're in luck. I'm free tonight." I smiled.

"Great. I'll pick you up at seven. Oh, and Penny." He paused. "I can't wait to shmooze you."

The day went super slow. Slower than any day had ever gone. I vacuumed the apartment twice. I washed all my laundry. I made two grocery runs to two different stores. I did everything I could to waste time. When I ran out of things to do, I took a bath and soaked in the tub. I needed to stop trying to solve the riddle of shmoozing. I needed to make myself give up and just accept whatever was going to happen. The problem was, I wasn't that person.

I buffed and polished my skin until it glowed. I pulled my hair up and curled it in what looked like a pile of falling locks on top of my head. I slipped into a floral dress that swished around my thighs and tied a cute pair of black sandals at the ankle. I swiped some dark red gloss over my lips and smacked them together as I brushed some mascara on my lashes. I looked good. I nodded at my reflection as I stepped back from the mirror in my room. I hoped Bryson appreciated the effort I was putting into my half of our evening.

I grabbed my purse and went to sit on the couch and wait. It seemed to take forever, and the more I stared at the clock, the slower the minutes passed by. I almost jumped out of my skin when he buzzed from the main door. I granted him entrance, and then watched through the peephole on my door for him to appear. He seemed shocked when the door swung open before he could knock.

"Wow!" he gasped as he stared at me. I smiled shyly as I stepped into the hallway and locked the door behind me.

"I hope this is ok. I wasn't sure what we were doing." I smoothed some nonexistent wrinkles from my dress.

"This is perfect for what we're doing. I thought we'd ride, so I have a cab waiting downstairs." He held his arm out for me to link mine through.

"A cab? I thought you had a car here." I was confused. The first night that we reconnected, he'd had a car at the bar.

"I do, but parking around here is at a premium. This is just easier." He held the door open and let me go through first. I waited as he opened the door to the cab, and I slid in.

We drove for a while, but traffic was terrible. It took a good half-hour to get to the restaurant, Le Vino. "I remembered how much you loved that pizza place. They have really good pasta here." He smiled as he helped me out.

"Sounds great." I smiled softly. I hadn't been on a date in years, and Bryson was being such a gentleman. He led me inside, and we were taken right to a table. I'm guessing he had reservations.

He pulled out my chair before seating himself. "Get whatever you want." He handed me a menu. I opened it and scanned the items listed. There were no prices, so I knew this place wasn't cheap. I had rules when someone else was paying. I never ordered something that I couldn't buy for myself. I didn't want to seem greedy.

"This is a lot," I whispered.

"I wanted something nice. I have to leave in two days." The smile he'd had painted on since he got to my place faltered slightly before he looked away.

When our server stopped by the table, Bryson ordered us a bottle of wine, and then we ordered our food. I chose the lobster ravioli, and he picked the lasagna. After the server left, we chatted about anything and everything. He teased me with the information that he had something else planned for after dinner. I wasn't sure what to expect.

The portions were huge, and I was rethinking us getting two meals when they were placed in front of us. Bryson just grinned and then pushed his plate in my direction. "Try it," he coaxed.

I scooped up a bite of his and blew on it. Steam was wafting in the air. When I placed it in my mouth, I closed my eyes and savored the bite. It was delicious. I released a sigh before letting my eyes flutter open. "That right there is why I got this." He pointed his fork in my direction. "Everything here is good, but this is the best lasagna in the city."

"I can't argue with that." I giggled before going to my plate. The cream sauce was divine, and I had to force myself to stop eating. It was so good that I wasn't listening to the fact that my stomach was telling me I was full.

When we finished, Bryson paid the check and then led me back outside. "We can walk to the next stop on the best night ever tour." He reached for my hand and threaded our fingers together.

"Ok." I let him lead because I had no idea where we were going.

Bryson

I led us along the water. It was a pretty evening, and I wanted to enjoy watching her. Penny was so expressive when she didn't think people were watching her.

We passed the Warf, and up between the aquarium and some shops to stop in front of the concert hall. "Why are we here?" Her voice trembled. "I can't be here." She tried to pull away, but I held fast.

"I brought you to the Symphony." My brow furrowed. "I thought this would be fun. I know how much you miss this stuff." I was confused. After yesterday I thought she'd be more open to this.

"This is where my dad played." Her lip quivered. "He'd leave tickets for Mom and me and we'd come here to see him when he had a show in town." She looked away and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I thought you'd like this. We don't have to go in." I started to lead us away, but her feet didn't move.

Determination covered her face. "This was a nice idea. I wanna try." She turned to face me. "I'll try for you, but know that if I run out of here, I'm not coming back in." She nodded.

"I can live with that." I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "Let's see what's on the program for tonight."

We walked together up to the will call window and after I picked up our tickets, we went inside. We were sitting on the left side of the orchestra section a few rows from the front. "When I was little, I used to sit there." She pointed to the front row. "Dad always wanted to make sure I could see."

"Did you come here a lot?" I leaned closer.

"At least twice a month." She flipped through the program she'd grabbed on the way in. "It's starting."

The house lights dimmed, and the principal violinist stood. He played a tuning note, and then the rest of the orchestra tuned. When they finished, he sat, and the conductor made his way onto the stage. The auditorium erupted with applause as he turned to take a bow. When he turned back around and lifted his baton, the room grew quiet.

I glanced over at Penny. She was smiling from ear to ear and sitting practically on the edge of her seat. I leaned over and whispered, "If it gets to be too much, let me know." She nodded as she chewed on her bottom lip. The orchestra came to life, and I knew this was where she needed to be. The look on her face, her body language, were both saying that this was her destiny. She'd been denying it for so long, but her heart knew this was home.

I spent most the evening watching her. The little tilt her head would do during a quiet part, or how her eyes would close, and she would almost sway during a gentle part. When the percussion sounded loud, her eyes would flash wide, and she'd tap her foot to the beat. They were all the things I remembered about her from our days at Berklee. I needed to make her see what I was seeing.

When the concert was over, we slowly made our way outside. I knew it would take a while to get a cab. I led her back down to the water, and we just stared out at where the moon was reflecting against it. "I haven't seen you this happy since senior solo night." I bumped my shoulder against hers.

"Yeah," she murmured.

"I think you should audition." She stiffened at that idea.

"It's not that easy." She put some space between us.

"Sure it is. I saw you in there. You were completely lost in the music. That's where you're supposed to be, not working in some bar." I was trying to stay calm.

"I feel safe there." She turned away from me.

"Because you're hiding who you are." I stood straighter. "I don't know what else I need to do to show you that." I turned and began walking up to the sidewalk. I needed to try and hail a cab because it would be a long walk if I didn't. I heard her heels clicking before she grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.

"I'm sorry, but you have to let me do this on my own timeline." She placed her head on my shoulder.

"I'm just afraid that your timeline is going to cost you some of your best years." I turned and kissed her forehead.

Chapter 16

Bryson

It was a short, quiet ride back to her apartment. She sat tucked against my side and stared out the window. When the cab stopped, she turned toward me. "Wanna come up?" Her lips turned up on one side. "I have coffee." She fumbled over the words. I don't know if coffee was just an excuse or what, but I'd take it.

"Sure." I handed the cabbie a few bills, and then we climbed out.

I waited patiently as she punched in the code to get the door open to go upstairs, and then followed in her wake. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I mean, if you have somewhere else to be…" the words trailed off as she unlocked the door.

I touched her forearm to halt her. "There's nowhere else I wanna be." I smiled, attempting to ease her nerves. The door opened and we kinda tumbled awkwardly inside. She laughed, which caused me to laugh and break the tension.

"Let me get these shoes off, and then I'll make the coffee." She smiled sweetly as she rushed off toward the bedroom. I tossed my jacket to the side and unbuttoned and rolled up my sleeves before meandering over to the slider along the far wall. You could see the city and it looked beautiful. Twinkling lights from buildings both near and far dotted the skyline. We were only on the second floor, so you could still hear some street noise, but it was muffled by the glass. The moon was in the distance, and it was just dark enough to see the twinkling stars above.

"Do you still like dark roast?" her voice sounded behind me, breaking the spell.

"Sure, I'm fine with whatever." I glanced over my shoulder to acknowledge her. As she rushed off to the kitchen area, I stood there staring. She was beautiful, more beautiful than I'd ever appreciated. A few tendrils of hair had come down from where she'd pinned it, and one strap on her dress kept falling down her shoulder. She bustled about, completely oblivious to the fact that I was staring.

"It should only take a minute." She rounded the corner and stopped.

"What's the last piece you worked on?" I motioned to the piano. It was covered in dust and had sheet music piled everywhere.

"The movers brought that here five years ago. I haven't touch it since it was set up." She quickly busied herself before crossing her arms over her chest. She was going into defense mode and because we were in her home, she had nowhere to run. "I don't want to talk about it." She held her hand up before I could say anything.

"Fine. Come here." I motioned to the slider. "You have such a pretty view here." She stepped up beside me and gazed out the glass.

"I'm usually not here at night. I'm always working. I've never really appreciated it. I go to the roof to stargaze." She shrugged.

"I think you miss a lot of things because you're too busy trying to block your feelings." I turned to face her. I knew I was treading on thin ice. I couldn't help it. Tomorrow was the last day I'd be here, then we'd go back to communicating through texts and phone calls. I was afraid that once I wasn't here to push, she'd go back to hiding who she was and ignoring her destiny. "I saw the way you watched them tonight." I cupped her cheek. "You can't deny that it made you feel alive inside. That spark that you've been trying to put out started to glow, and now you're afraid to love it again." I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers. What started out as a soft sensual kiss turned deep and passionate quickly. Her hands came up and fisted my shirt as she tilted her head. A ding sounded, causing her to pull away quickly.

"The coffee's finished." She started to step back, but I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her flush with me.

"I don't really want coffee right now. Do you?" She nibbled her lip before shaking her head. "Good." I pressed my lips to hers again before rotating us so her back was pressed against the glass. Her hips rocked against me as she went to work unbuttoning my shirt. "Are you sure about this?" I pulled back, panting to catch my breath. Her doe eyes glanced up at me, a world of emotion swirling in them.

"There are a lot of things I'm unsure of. You're not one of them." She grabbed my head with both hands, forcing my neck to bend so she could connect our mouths again. The kiss raged on, heating up to epic proportions as both our hands explored each other's bodies. The coffee was long forgotten as we fumbled our way into her bedroom, undressing each other as we went. I gave her one last chance as we tumbled to the bed to stop what was happening but she pulled my body closer to hers, promising this was what she wanted. As we made love that night, I knew this changed everything. I had to find a way to be with her. I couldn't live so far away and leave her here. I needed her as much as she needed me.

When we finished, I tucked the covers around us, and as she cuddled against me, she drifted off to sleep. I laid there for hours just thinking about how I could make this work. I needed her to see that New York was where she should be. She'd have a fresh start and be able to heal from some of the pain. There was nothing keeping her here.

I slipped from her arms and made my way into the living room. I grabbed my boxers, put them back on, and went to the long-forgotten coffee pot. I pour a cup of cold java and placed it in the microwave to warm. After searching for cream and sugar, I made my way into the living room. Curiosity got the better of me, and I sat on the piano bench. There was music everywhere. I straightened the pages of sheet music before dusting the keys off. There was a small book off to the side with children's handwriting on it. I picked it up and opened it to find a list of composer's names. At the top of the page, it said "when I'm big I will play" then all the greats were named. Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Pachelbel, Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, and so many I didn't know.

I carefully closed it and placed it back where it was. It was obvious that it meant a lot to her. After straightening everything, I held my hands over the keys and softly played a chord. I hadn't played the piano in years. It wasn't my principal instrument, but I did know a few simple songs. I let my fingers move over the keys, and closed my eyes as it slowly came back to me. I guess I started to get overzealous, because the notes got louder. I didn't notice her standing there at first.

"What are you doing?" It sounded like an injured animal.

"I'm sorry." I yanked my hands off the keys.

"My dad was the last one to touch those keys. I haven't played because he was the last one to touch it. What are you doing?" She started to cry as she rushed over in only an oversized tee. She frantically looked around, for what I'm not sure.

"Penny." I grabbed her hands. "Look at me." Her lip quivered as tears leaked from her eyes. "Your dad left you this so you'd play it. He'd want beautiful music to come from it." I waited for my words to sink in. "Do you hear me?"

"I'm sorry." She swiped at the tears before wrapping her hands around her middle. I slid over and patted the bench, encouraging her to sit beside me.

"Is this yours?" I showed her the notebook. I already knew the answer to my question, but I still wanted to hear the story.

"Yeah," She nodded as her fingers ran over the red cover. "Dad was always making notes on his music. When I was six and starting to play, I decided that I'd make my own notes. I had a red crayon, because red was my favorite, and I made all sorts of letters and shapes on a piece of his music. I knew he was mad, but instead of getting upset with me, he gave me that notebook. He told me to make my notes in there. I started that list when I was six and added to it every year until I left for Berklee. If you flip to the next page, you'll see notes that are more in line with what I did to Dad's music." She held the book with reverence before handing it to me. I flipped the page, and sure enough there were lines of red triangles and squares.

"Your dad was special." I set the book aside. "Don't you think he'd want you to play this?" I motioned to the keys. I slid down farther and started tapping away at the base line of "Heart and Soul". I learned this in beginner piano and I hoped she'd humor me. "Come on." I nudged her with my elbow. I added my other hand and gave the baseline depth. Her lips started to curve before she brought her hands to the keys and came in with the melody. I watched a switch flip in her. She sat straighter the longer we played and began to add flourishes. After a few minutes, I dropped out and moved farther over, giving her free reign of the piano. A long dormant part of her came to life that night. This was more than our day in the park. This moment on her dad's baby grand was her way of healing, moving on, and freeing herself from all grief she's been facing. She finally let that part of herself live again.

When she finished, she turned and smiled at me. "Thanks." She yawned, and I pulled her against my chest.

"Let's get some sleep." I murmured against her hair. I stood, helped her up, and we went back to her bed. After climbing in, I tucked the covers around us, and we drifted off to sleep.

This was the tipping point, the place I'd been trying to get to all week. This was the night that changed our future.