13. CORIOLANUS

CORIOLANUS

The Present

T HE god waited patiently for the mortal to answer his simple question. Christian’s tongue was between his teeth, jutting out ever so slightly, his brow furrowed. Corey speculated that this was his thinking face , and though it was somewhat childlike considering the mortal’s age, he found it endearing.

When the wine arrived, Corey had the server wait while he sniffed the cork. The rarified senses of a god could tell everything about the vintage far better than any human sommelier could. It was more than simply appreciating the rich bouquet.

An ancient warrior-god or a modern-day Corinthian, Corey loved to indulge in the pure enjoyment of being an immortal, including using his preternatural senses to experience the pleasures of heightened sensation and knowledge acquisition.

Christian found the whole sniffing production quite amusing.

After Corey approved the vintage, the server poured two full glasses and politely asked if they wanted to order anything from the kitchen. Corey told the man the wine was sufficient. Christian remained silent, feeling more than a bit intimidated by his companion’s forthrightness. His nerves had not allowed for much of an appetite, anyway.

The hot server, Corey noticed, was wearing remarkably tight black pants, almost as snug as his own. After politely telling them to flag him down if they needed anything else, the man hurried off to serve other tables. Corey could not help but sense that the man’s friendliness was forced and insincere, revealing his lack of enjoyment in his job.

After sipping his wine and smiling with delight at the beautifully balanced vintage, not that he knew that much about wine, Christian ended his intense countenance and began his awaited response without a stutter.

The god hoped that intimated the prey was letting down his defences and becoming more comfortable in his presence.

“Well, Corey, I guess to start, my full name is—”

“No—no full names!” Corey barked. “That’s the last thing I want to hear. People hide behind names, monikers, and titles, like referring to someone as General or Lord. That tells you nothing aside from their occupation or propensity for arrogance. No, a name is a right of introduction, and I’ve already met you. A name never describes a person’s character—their soul. Christian is enough.

“Please be more intimate with me. Go deeper. I’m not interested in shallow communication, even in the face of me wanting to rip your clothes off and take you right here on the fucking table, using your voice to moan and grunt in ecstasy instead of for chit-chat .”

“Wow, you just said all that,” Christian blushed. “Ooookay, fine.” He sat stiffly in his chair, his hands folded in his lap, visibly intimidated, even slightly confused.

Corey figured the guy probably thought it immensely fucking odd to be so abruptly stopped from giving his last name. After all, who does that? And the whole General and Lord slippage! He knew it was weird and aggressive, but he was who he was and acted accordingly. The god wanted the mortal’s authenticity, his true self—and his blood—not some manufactured human identity.

Hell, he had one of those. They were a dime a dozen.

For the god, this intimate preamble was more-or-less a civilized way to tender the meat before feeding, bringing forth visceral memories of pleasant and volatile experiences to boost the flavour of the Ambrosia. Soon enough, Christian’s face softened, alleviating some of the god’s worry that his pushy, bawdy behaviour had put the young man off.

“I get it, dude. No, really. It’s common in hook-ups not to give out too much information. At least, that’s what I’ve heard from other gay guys. I’m not on any dating apps—not that I’m a prude or anything! I mean, look where I was tonight. It’s just that I’m pretty new to all this. All my single guy friends are pretty savvy with this stuff, and rarely do they give last names. Sometimes, not even their faces. Just, um, dick and hole pics.”

“Well then, it appears I gave you my version of a hook-up app profile earlier tonight.”

Christian immediately flushed red—again, and his eyes went wide with shock. Just as quickly, his face morphed into a playful smirk. With the left corner of his mouth turned up seductively, he whispered, “Yes, you did.”

After a few moments of eye flirtation, Christian continued.

“Despite what might be happening here between us, it’s not my thing, the anonymous hook-up stuff. I know I’ll have to get used to navigating the world of one-night stands on the road to finding my true love. Don’t freak out! I’m not trying to rush anything here. I’m not desperate or crazy. I know what I’m ultimately looking for, is all, but that doesn’t mean the quest to find it can’t be, ya know, fun.”

“Take things as they come, as they are—not force them into what you want them to be,” Corey stated matter-of-factly. He knew much about accepting things you could not control no matter how much you tried to bend reality to your will. No matter how much you wish that things were different.

“Exactly,” Christian agreed.

“Know that eventually what’s right for you, that real thing you’re looking for, Christian, will come your way, and though compromise is a factor in all relationships, true love will always feel effortless. And I mean true , not perfect . Perfection doesn’t exist. What would be the point of living after achieving it if it did? What’s there to strive for, work towards, and feel excitement about? Where’s the mystery? The struggle is real , as they say, but that makes life rewarding. Trust me, you can discover both satisfaction and happiness in the struggle.

“And as for true love feeling effortless? That doesn’t mean you can take it for granted. Time always brings change, especially in relationships, and change insists on effort, awareness and appreciation, or even the truest of loves may slip through your fingers. And not everyone finds it, you know. Or they don’t recognize it when it comes, and it fades away. Sometimes, all you get is one chance.”

“Don’t you, um, think that’s a tad pessimistic, Corey,” Christian asked hesitantly. “Yes, some people settle so they aren’t alone or agree to things that aren’t right for them, like certain types of relationships and sexual situations. Navigating this social landscape is fucking hard sometimes. Contemporary queerness seems to be all over the map regarding modern dating and relationships. My roommates think I’m too traditional, too inflexible or whatever. Fuck them! I know what feels right for me. Boundaries don’t always imply walls.”

The god gave a contemplative look. Clever and astute. This mortal has many layers. The Nectar will be delicious tonight.

“Do you get what I’m saying?” Christian asked plainly. “Like, expectations can lead to resentment, but that doesn’t mean we as individuals should stop striving for what we feel is the right fit for us despite trends or social pressures. Whether you’re straight or gay or queer, whatever, the knife cuts both ways when it comes to other people, to society, telling you how you should live and act.

“I want to have fun, see what’s out there, have adventures, and try things—like I did— like I’m doing tonight. Still, I know intrinsically who I am and what I want. Or desire, if that’s a better word. I may not have many experiences under my belt, and I’m still young, but I’ll never accept another’s opinion of myself. You know—how I should live or what type of queer to be. Or even from some pompous pricks— how to be queer .

“And I know deep in my soul that I’ll recognize him when I find the right guy, and I’ll have exactly the kind of relationship I want— we want , as it’ll be the same. I won’t settle for less.”

The corners of Corey’s mouth slowly turned up, forming a wide grin and conveying his appreciation for his companion’s emotional depth and percipience about his agency.

“Don’t take this as an insult, Christian—I mean it as a compliment, but you’re awfully self-aware for someone your age.”

“No, it’s cool. I’ve heard this before. And that I’m an old soul. It can be a burden. People think you’re uptight, like my friends. They said they wouldn’t take no for an answer tonight. But I really had no issue with going to a strip club. I was excited!

“People are too fucking quick to judge things and make assumptions. Or want to think for others, even feel they have the right to do so because they know what’s best. That’s one thing I can’t stand—arrogance! A word you used earlier, and believe me, I get it. ”

The god continued to smile at his companion, but what was once a proper showing of admiration was now a false grin forged in the fires of ache and disheartenment. He wanted to appear polite to the fascinating, congenial man sitting across from him, to show he was enjoying the intense conversation, wholly engaged in the reciprocal discourse, which he was, but Corey had grown uncomfortable.

It was like the astute young mortal was seeing into his very soul, reading his mind, empathically sensing his frustrations with Olympius, the obstacles the god faced with loving his Maker unconditionally. Corey wanted to get to know the young man before taking him, as he did with all the prey he did not intend to kill, but so far, this introspective conversation packed an emotional punch he had not expected.

Christian was no dummy; he saw right through Corey’s fa?ade of appreciation and enjoyment. He could feel the discomfort radiating off his companion in waves of negative energy, but nothing that hinted at boredom or involved any antagonism around his observations and pointed statements. It was more akin to having touched a nerve. There was something else going on, something deeply personal.

Though Corey might be smiling, even nodding, Christian felt a definite disconnect between them. He saw a noticeable distance in Corey’s bright copper eyes; they were looking off into the past, remembering something melancholic brought on by recent comments and observations—ones that sprung from Christian’s lips. The young man knew none of this was helping to facilitate the erotic experience they were previously mutually enjoying.

Christian immediately attempted to redirect the conversation to less contentious topics and get back on a more easy-going track.