Chapter 9 Daphne

My nerves are frayed as I wait for the Uber to pick us up from Westchester County Airport.

"Mom, how much longer?" Bella whines, stomping her sneaker-clad foot on the sidewalk.

I glance at my phone. "Just a couple more minutes."

"Why couldn't Dad pick us up?" Tallulah asks for the hundredth time. I'm already regretting my decision to come back. It's been only a couple of weeks since I made the call to Jackson to feel him out about our spending the summer here. He'd been released a few days before and I wasn't sure how he'd react. I was totally unprepared for how friendly he was, how un-Jackson-like his conciliatory tone and expressions of remorse. He apologized for everything, told me he was a changed man, and thanked me over and over for the chance to be back in the girls' lives. I didn't believe a word of it. But once I opened the door, there was no need for Tallulah and Bella to hide the fact that they were in contact with him. And so he knew exactly when we were arriving and had offered to pick us up. He was already encroaching on us in typical Jackson style, and I warned him that if he didn't let me set the pace, we'd be back on a plane to California, and he wouldn't see the girls until they were adults.

"Lu, let's not argue, please. We're going to get settled in, and you'll see your father tomorrow."

I receive a sullen look in response.

"I hope the house is nice," Bella says. "It's on the beach, right?"

"Yes, Meredith found us a great little cottage right on the beach near her summer house."

"I don't care where it is as long as it's close to Dad's house," Tallulah says.

I give her a tight smile and pick up the bags as a blue Volvo, our Uber, pulls up and we get in. While we drive, closing the distance between my old and my new life, I brace myself to prepare for the two to collide.

Meredith is waiting when we pull up, the door to the house wide open. She stretches out her arms to Bella and Tallulah and envelops each in a warm embrace. "I've missed you girls!"

Bella gives her a shy smile, and Tallulah looks at me as she answers. "We miss being here too. I'm happy to be back." With that she picks up her suitcase and stomps into the house.

I lock glances with Meredith who knows the whole story and she gives me a sympathetic eyebrow raise.

"Come on, I'll help you get settled." She picks up two suitcases and I grab two more, following behind her. We put the luggage down and Meredith gives us a quick tour.

The "cottage" is in actuality a five-bedroom Nantucket-style house on a point of land that feels safe and secluded. The interior is calm and tranquil, all blue and white, making the space cozy and inviting despite the size. An in-ground saltwater pool overlooks Long Island Sound.

"This is gorgeous, Mer, but we don't need something this big."

She waves a hand. "It's nice to have space. Besides, the Monahans are in Europe all summer and are thrilled to have someone looking after the place."

A sense of unease overtakes me, but I don't want to seem ungrateful. The house is not quite as grand as the one we lived in with Jackson, but it comes close. My girls have become content with much simpler surroundings, and I want to keep it that way. This doesn't feel like the most auspicious start to our summer.

I smile at Meredith. "Well, at least I know one of the neighbors is friendly."

We laugh as Bella and Tallulah come running downstairs in their bathing suits. "Can we go swimming?" Bella asks.

"Sure. Pool or beach?"

"Pool!" they both squeal.

"Do you want to catch up later, or do you want to come sit with me while I watch them?" I ask Meredith.

"I'll stay. Let me grab some waters from the fridge. I stocked everything for you this morning."

"Thank you. So thoughtful of you."

Meredith and I sit in the lounge chairs by the waterfall as Bella and Tallulah take turns going down the sliding board into the kidney-shaped pool.

Meredith's eyes crinkle as she smiles at me. "It's so good to have you here, Daph. I've missed you. It's not the same without you."

"I've missed you too. I wish I could steal you away to California with me."

"You love it there, don't you?"

"I do. It's been a sanctuary for all of us. Well, with the exception of Tallulah that is. Things were going so well at the beginning. The girls loved the school and the neighborhood, made lots of friends. Having my mom with us was and is a godsend. She's been absolutely wonderful." I feel the tears ready to spill over. "It's so comforting to have someone to help right the ship when I'm unsteady. I still can't shake the guilt I feel, how I allowed Jackson to keep her at arm's length for so many years." My mother isn't the only one I had to pretend with. Meredith had no idea that Jackson was abusive until after I had freed myself from him. There were so many times over the years that I longed to tell her the truth, but I hadn't dared. Meredith wasn't like the other women in my social circle. She was a genuine friend, one who cared nothing for outward appearances or social status. She was old money, raised to appreciate authenticity and loyalty. If I confided in her, I knew she would have done everything in her power to help me, but I couldn't risk losing my children. Jackson held that threat over my head every single day, reminding me that with one phone call he could use his sway to have me committed again for the psychosis he and the doctors had fabricated when Tallulah was just a baby.

When I finally told her the truth, after Jackson and I were getting divorced, Meredith wanted his head. She wanted to expose him, ruin his reputation in Bishops Harbor society. But I made her promise to keep quiet. In return for my silence, Jackson agreed to give me full custody of the girls. So Meredith never told a soul.

She puts her hand on my arm. "You were a victim, Daphne. In an abusive marriage. But you had the courage to free yourself and start over. That's something to be proud of, not feel guilty about."

"Intellectually, I know that. Believing it in my heart is another matter. I can't imagine how heartbroken I would feel if Tallulah or Bella cut me out of their lives the way Jackson made me do to my mother. It's another reason I think she was so dead set against my coming here. She's been a victim of Jackson too."

"It's behind you now. It's time to look ahead."

We're both quiet, deep in our own thoughts, until Meredith speaks. "Speaking of looking ahead, tell me a little about this man you've met. Sebastian, is it?"

I smile at the mention of his name. "Yes. He made an extremely generous donation to Julie's Smile. In fact, it was integral to my being able to buy the building where it's headquartered."

"Wow. How wonderful. What does he do?"

"International finance. He invests in other companies. He's very suave and at first, I was a little hesitant, but when I opened up about my history with Jackson, he was so supportive. Totally let me set the pace. He's been very patient."

"He sounds like a good man." She smiles at me and there's a twinkle in her eyes. "Is he someone you see yourself with long term?"

I sigh. "You know, Mer, I can't even think in those terms yet. We've talked about taking things to the next level. Neither my mother nor the girls have met him. It's too soon. But here's the thing. Meeting someone like him, seeing his compassion for those less fortunate, watching him give his help so freely and asking for nothing in return—well, it's reminded me that not all men have hidden agendas. He'd like things to get more serious. We were thinking of going away for a weekend together, but now, of course, I'm here. I'll see what happens when I'm back home."

"Sounds promising." Meredith sits up straight, clapping her hands together, and the gold bangles on her wrist make a jingling sound. "You know what we need?" she says with spirit. "One of our old-time beach nights. You and me, a bottle of red, and a full moon. We'll sit and talk till four in the morning like we used to and solve the whole world's problems."

I squeeze her hand. "Those were great times. You helped me keep my sanity."

"You're my best friend, Daph. Always will be."

I feel a lump in my throat and nod at her, unable to speak for a moment. Trying hard not to let myself be overcome with emotion. "So," I change course, "you'll have to catch me up on all the happenings here later on." I nod toward the girls.

She leans over and whispers. "I will. I have all the dirt on the little welcome home party thrown in the honor of a certain ex-con."

I start to chuckle, but the laugh turns to a gasp when I see a man walk up from the beach and open the gate to the pool. Jackson. He wasn't supposed to come here until tomorrow—I had clearly established my expectations, and he had given me his word to abide by them. But I know better than anyone, Jackson's word is worth about as much as an umbrella in a tornado.