Chapter 39 Daphne

Our session with Hannah is almost over and I can see she's just as fooled by Jackson as I originally thought. Now that he's made it clear that the accusations I made in our first session were completely false, she is free to believe he's the wonderful father and husband he pretends to be. I, on the other hand, have been painted as a woman battling mental illness, hearing voices, and making up wild stories. At first, I refused to come here, but then Jackson alerted DCF about my failed escape and they mandated it. Hannah has notes from my therapist, Dr. Marshall, as well as a copy of the letter sent to DCF on my behalf, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. She points out that mental health can change, and the only true barometer is how I'm doing now. And since Jackson has made it appear that I'm having paranoid delusions again, which were the reason behind my runaway attempt, my behavior is considered unstable. It's maddening.

"I'm so glad that you both agreed to come back," Hannah says, smiling at Jackson then turning to me with a sympathetic look. "And I'm so sorry for what you're going through, Daphne. But I promise, the medication is going to help." She can't prescribe anything as she's not an MD, but she's in practice with a psychiatrist who's already evaluatedme.

She goes on. "I agree that Seroquel is a good start. I know you've managed your bipolar with diet and exercise, but clearly, you're in a crisis right now. Sometimes these depressive episodes can cause psychosis. You're lucky your husband is so understanding."

"My ex-husband," I remind her, my face hot, but then I stop before I say anything else to jeopardize my position. I don't have bipolar disorder and this woman—I won't call her a therapist—is a total moron if she can't see through Jackson's facade. She has my notes from my referring therapist, but all it took was Jackson telling her that I'd hidden my condition from my therapist to make Hannah believe his lies.

"We'll make sure to get the prescription today," Jackson says, patting me on the leg and smiling at Hannah.

Hannah looks at her notes, then back at me. "I know this may seem intrusive, Daphne, but DCF is requiring you to be tested weekly to make sure you're taking your meds. I'll be monitoring you, so when you come for your sessions, you'll need to give me a urine sample."

"Why would you think that's intrusive?" I say, glaring at her.

She stands. "Yes, well. I'll see you both next week."

I don't say anything on the way to the car, still seething. Jackson walks around to open my door for me, but I beat him to it. I don't want his faux chivalry any more than his phony concern. I slide into the car and take a deep breath. He pulls out of the parking lot then gives me a quick glance.

"This could have all been avoided if you hadn't pulled that crap at the play."

"So now you're going to have me take heavy-duty medication that I don't need. Doesn't that make you feel like less of a man, having to drug a woman to stay with you?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "Darling, I'm only doing what's best for you. You're not in any danger, yet you concocted that crazy escape plan. Made my daughters believe I was going to hurt you all. I can only conclude that you are indeed delusional. So, no, I'm not feeling like less of a man. I think it's admirable that I'm committed to our family despite your mental health issues."

I laugh bitterly. "You can really talk some shit, Jackson."

He makes a face. "Really, Daphne. Such vulgar language doesn't suit you."

I turn and look out the window, not bothering to answer. I've got to do something and soon. We're both quiet the rest of the ride home and my mind is going in a million different directions as we walk into the house. Edgar greetsus.

"There's a prescription that needs picking up at the drugstore. Please have someone see to it," Jackson tells him.

"Yes, sir."

The house is quiet. The girls are at camp, not due home for another two hours, and Jax must be napping.

"Why don't you go and let the cook know we'll have dinner at eight. She can feed the girls when they're home from camp. But I'd like some quality time with you tonight."

I nod. "I think I'll take one of the kayaks out for a bit, if that's okay with you."

"Fine. I don't worry about you going anywhere without the girls. I have some business to conduct anyhow."

"So nice of you to not keep me locked up in a tower."

"Now, Daphne, I'm not a monster. How many times do I have to tell you that this is all for the good of our family? You have your freedom. After that stunt you pulled with Meredith, did I take your phone? No, I didn't. I believe you can learn from your mistakes. Once we are fully reconciled, you'll be able to resume your normal life here. It's just going to take some time."

Later that evening the girls are in the media room watching a movie, Jax is down for the night, and Jackson and I are dining alfresco on the deck. It's a gorgeous evening, just a slight breeze, and the air redolent with the smell of the sea. There are candles, wine in crystal glasses, and a beautiful table set. Anyone looking on would be envious. I'm still thinking about the phone conversation I had before coming down to dinner, and it fills me with hope. After the botched attempt to get away, I had given up the idea of imposing upon Meredith again. Jackson threatened her, warning that if she helped me again, he'd have her charged with aiding and abetting a kidnapping. But I've found that women are willing to take all kinds of risks when it comes to helping another woman. So now I have a new plan in place, one that I feel sure will succeed. I need to give it a few days, lulling Jackson into a false sense of security and making him believe that I'm starting to come around to his way of thinking.

"I have to admit, you've gone all out tonight," I say.

"You're worth all the trouble in the world." Even though the staff did everything, he has no problem taking all the credit.

"Cheers," I say as I lift my glass to his.

"To many more beautiful evenings," he replies.

I take a small sip. I can't afford to have my senses dulled around him, although after tomorrow when I have to start taking the medication, I'm not sure how much in control I'll be. "How did your business calls go today?"

"Fine."

"Tell me, what's your next venture? Now that Parrish Industries is gone, are you planning a new company?" I've been wondering how he's affording to keep up his lifestyle. The FBI took most of his assets, but if I know Jackson, he has money hidden somewhere.

"I've got some deals going. Looking more into passive income these days. I don't need to go into the office every day. Get back into that rat race. I'm ready for a nice home life with you and the kids."

"That does sound nice. I guess maybe you've changed. The old Jackson loved the rat race. Being out there conquering the world."

He takes a bite of his lobster, gazing at me for a few moments. "That's what I keep telling you. I have changed. I had a lot of time to think while I was in prison. And I realized I was cruel to you at times."

At times? Talk about revisionist history. He was nice to me at times would be more accurate. "Go on."

"I know I was a control freak. I thought if I made sure everything was a certain way then nothing bad would happen. It was wrong. I promise, Daphne. This time will be different. We'll be the golden couple that everyone's envious of."

"I want to believe you, but you have to understand I still need some time. There's a lot of water under this bridge. You scared me, and you humiliated me. How do I know you won't do that again?"

His cheeks color slightly, and I can see his temper right under the surface. He tries to hide it with a smile and a gentle tone. "I guess I'll have to earn your trust back. Prove it to you. But you have to give me a chance."

"How do you suggest I do that?"

"For starters, a little affection? I'm not asking you to move back into our bedroom yet, but I thought we were headed in the right direction. I can still feel your lips on mine from that night on the porch. That's why I was so hurt that you tried to leave."

I feel really bad about what I'm about to say, but Meredith will understand. "It wasn't my idea. I was starting to have feelings for you again and when I confided that to Meredith, she convinced me that you could never change. She encouraged me to try to get away."

His eyes light up, and I know he believes me. "Oh, Daphne. You don't know how happy that makes me. She's just jealous! Always has been. You have to promise me to cut her off. She's trying to poison our relationship."

I nod. "I already have. I don't want anything to get in the way of my family."

He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his, his thumb caressing the top of mine. "It's going to be so wonderful. I'll give you time, but I hope it won't take you long."

I squeeze his hand. "You can't put a timetable on trust. I need to go at my own pace. That's the first step in earning my trust back. Letting me."

I've hit the bull's-eye with that remark, and he knows it. He can't push me without risking everything. But I know, despite that, I'm still on borrowed time.