Chapter 18 Daphne

Meredith and I sit on the beach watching the girls as they swim, and I chronicle for her Jackson's and my first session with the therapist. "I'm glad you had the guts to tell her how he treated poor Bella." Her eyes are blazing. "What did the therapist say after that?"

"She tried to regain her composure, but she couldn't wipe the horrified look off her face. At least it made her see Jackson in a different light."

"I'd say so. No one likes a bully, especially one who makes fun of his own child. He must have been royally pissed."

"He was. But he didn't let it show…too much. Just that little vein in his head dancing." Telling Meredith about it now, I feel the same delight at his shock and discomfort as I did when it happened.

"So, are you going to find someone new?"

I shake my head. "No, it's pointless. We're only here two months. He doesn't have any power over me any longer, so I'll just monitor his visits and we'll be back in California soon."

She raises an eyebrow. "It's just…I worry. Jackson's always got something up his sleeve. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"It's different now. I see through him. I fell for his lies and deceit once, but he won't fool me again. And I think he knows it." I stop talking when I see Tallulah come out of the water.

She wanders up and plops down on the towel next to me. "I'm bored. Dad texted me to see if we want to go to the city tomorrow. Can we?"

I exchange a glance with Meredith then turn to Tallulah. "Honey, you know the rules. Dad can visit but I need to be there."

She rolls her eyes. "This is so lame. He's not going to kidnap us, come on, Mom. I want to spend time with my father."

I try to keep my voice even. "Those are the rules, Lu. There's nothing more to discuss."

"No, there is more to discuss." Her words are loud and angry, and I can see a storm brewing in her eyes. "You don't care how I feel or what I want. All you want is to hurt Dad. Haven't you hurt him enough already?" She jumps up and starts to walk away fromme.

Meredith raises her eyebrows and looks at me with sympathy.

"Are you coming back in?" Bella calls from the water.

"No!" Tallulah shouts and keeps walking along the shoreline.

Bella hits the water with her fists. "Why'd you get out?"

"Because it sucks here." Tallulah sits down on the sand near the water's edge, her knees drawn up and her arms around her legs. Bella comes skipping out of the water and drops down next to her.

My phone buzzes and I look down, still off-balance after Tallulah's outburst. A text from Jackson.

Can I come by in a bit? I want to bring Jax to meet the girls. Please?

I want to pretend I don't see it, but I would only be putting off the inevitable. Looking at Meredith, I say, "Jackson wants to come over. Now. With his son."

Her mouth turns down at the edges and she shakes her head. "I can't be here. I have a dermatologist appointment in an hour. And anyway, it's pretty short notice, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. But it would probably be good for Tallulah. Don't worry, I'll be fine on my own. He would never do anything stupid in front of the kids. He's trying to be Mr. Nice Guy, remember?"

Meredith looks doubtful. "I guess."

I type back a response and stroll to where Tallulah and Bella sit. "Girls, your father's coming over and he's bringing your brother. Won't that be nice?"

"Yeah, great. Hanging out with a baby. Can't wait," Tallulah says then stands up and walks back to the house.

"I want to meet him," Bella says. She wraps the towel I've given her around her waist and leans against me. I put my arms around her, grateful that one of my daughters still seems to like me. "How old is he?"

"Two."

"I like babies. They're cute," Bella says. She frowns in concentration. "So, I guess I'm not the baby anymore. I'm a big sister now."

I suddenly think of Amber and know there's no way she's going to encourage a genuine relationship between my children and her son, but I simply nod. "Yes, sweetie. You are."

Twenty minutes later I hear the low purr of Jackson's Mercedes. Tallulah has been sulking all morning, but Bella is in a good mood and jumps up to open the door. Her father smiles at her, hugging her with one arm while holding Jackson Junior in the other.

I haven't seen Jackson's son since he was a tiny baby. He's now a toddler, and I can't help but smile when he studies me with big brown eyes. He's adorable, with chubby cheeks, brown curly hair, and lashes to die for. I tentatively approach, aware that toddlers are wary of strangers. Bella has no such restraint.

"Hi, Jackson! I'm your big sister."

The child struggles to get down, and Jackson sets him on the floor. Bella sits cross-legged while holding a teddy bear, and he toddles over to her. I watch, surprised as he takes it, then allows her to pull him onto her lap.

"He likes you. We call him Jax," Jackson tells her.

"He's a friendly little guy," I comment.

Jackson laughs. "He is. I was worried he wouldn't know me, but it's like I was never gone."

"Dad!" Tallulah comes running into the room and throws her arms around Jackson.

"Hi, sweetie. Come meet your brother," he says.

She deposits herself on the floor next to Bella and holds her arms out. Jax goes right to her. "Hi, Jackson."

"We call him Jax," Bella tells her.

Tallulah ignores her. "I'm your big sister."

"He already knows I'm his big sister," Bella says, her eyes flashing.

Jax's chubby little hands swat at Tallulah's face and she laughs. He squirms out of her arms and toddles away, then picks up speed as he runs toward the French doors leading to the pool. Jackson strides across the room and sweeps himup.

"Where do you think you're going, little man?" He laughs as he swings him in the air and the baby squeals with delight.

It's surreal, standing here watching it all. To the casual observer we look like a happy, normal family, with Jackson the fun-loving doting father.

"Why don't we take Jax and the girls down to the beach. I've set out chairs and an umbrella. There are tons of beach toys here, so I took a bunch of those down as well. Maybe Jax would enjoy playing in the sand."

Jackson smiles. "Great idea. Amber keeps a suit and sun hat in the diaper bag."

It's the first time her name's been mentioned, and at the sound of it I feel my stomach clench. I had hoped to never have to see that despicable woman again but that's an unrealistic expectation now.

At the beach, Tallulah and Bella immediately kneel on the sand with Jax, vying with each other to show him what every toy does. He picks up fistfuls of sand, laughing, his arms bouncing up and down as he opens his fingers and lets the granules drop. I'm surprised at how much they're enjoying him, and when I look over at Jackson, I see a softness in his expression, and that surprises me too. His gaze moves from the children to me. "This is nice," he says.

"Yes, the girls are really taken with him."

"No, I mean this." He sweeps his arm out. "All of us together."

I shift uneasily in the chair and say nothing. Now I wish Meredith were here.

His eyes focus intently on mine. "Thank you for bringing the girls. You have no idea how much it means to me. I know it wasn't easy for you." He stops for a minute, and it looks as if he's trying to maintain his composure. "I had a lot of time to think while I was locked away. Time to think about what's important and what's not. Time to think about the past and the things I've done. I wasn't always good to you, Daphne, and I'm sorry."

I'm stunned by his confession. "I…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

We sit in silence while the girls entertain Jax, running back and forth with buckets of water and building a drizzle castle with him. As the sun begins to lower in the sky, Jackson rises and stoops over his son. "It's getting late, buddy. Time to go home," he says, and picks up Jax.

The child starts crying, kicking his legs as Jackson lifts him up. "No. No."

Bella jumps up and strokes his back. "It's okay, Jax. We'll play again tomorrow, okay?"

Jax cocks his head and looks at Bella, and for a moment I think he's going to start crying again. Instead, he laughs at her, and Jackson says, "Wave bye-bye to your sisters." He lifts one plump little arm and flaps his hand up and down.

"See you tomorrow then?" Jackson looks atme.

"We'll talk," I say, and he nods once, giving me an understanding half smile.

Later, after we've cleaned up, had dinner, and retired for the night, I lie awake and think about what Jackson said. What did he want me to say when he apologized? Oh, that's all right. I forgive you for putting me in an asylum, for abusing me, for trying to make me out to be a bad mother. My body aches with tension, like a cornered animal ready to pounce. Maybe he's sincere, but my antennae are on high alert and standing at attention.