The Happily Ever After
The Happily Ever After
AGE: 40
Home had been a very elusive concept to Gianna for most of her life.
When she’d been very little, in her earliest memories, she had flashes of being with her parents. Little snippets here and there; her first – and vaguest – memory was of toddling after her mother backstage at a fashion show. Before her nanny had scooped her up, anyway.
The idea of home had become a bit clearer in the next stage of her life. When her parents finally reached the decision that she’d become too old to have them trotting after them as they followed their ambitions, they arranged for her to move in with Mummo.
She’d struggled a bit, though, even then. Though she spoke Suomi, courtesy of her father, she’d been far more familiar with Italian, having been born there. Though she’d known, conceptually, who her grandmother was, she hadn’t spent very much time with her. But it was there, with her mummo, that she’d been given the first glimpses of what home should feel like. Like warm hugs, sweet cuddles, and a person who loved you – really loved you – looking over your shoulder.
By the time she’d acclimated to that life, she’d had it taken from her. Sent to live in America, to a place she’d never been. A sad and angry twelve-year-old, desperately lonely, largely surrounded by other lonely adolescents. Home there hadn’t been a comfort so much as a survival instinct.
The sharpest, brightest, prettiest rose to the front of the pack, and she’d become responsible for watching her own back.
When she’d met Riley… things changed. Though her physical home had been in a dorm, that loneliness that had nestled inside Gianna, demanding a residence inside her, started to fade.
It was after she and Riley had no longer lived together, after Gianna had purchased the house that she and Riley were currently standing in, she’d realized what home really was.
“I’m going to miss this place,” Riley sighed, planting her hands on her hips as she looked around the empty living room.
Gianna pushed herself off from the doorway she’d been leaning against, watching as her wife paced through their soon-to-be ex-house. “Oh yeah? The part where we only have three bedrooms, and Anya complains constantly that Emmi is stealing her toys and won’t stay on her side ? Or the part where we don’t have enough room at the dining table for all the girls to sit, now that Pippa and Annabelle aren’t in highchairs?”
Riley turned to her, sharply raising an eyebrow. “You forgot the part where the entryway is too small for a bench big enough for all of the girls to sit on, so we have to watch them like hawks to make sure there’s no shoving when they’re running to get a seat, and put their shoes on every time we leave the house.”
Gianna snapped her fingers in mock disappointment as she slowly walked toward Riley. “Damn, babe, you’re right. I can’t believe I forgot that one.”
“I know, it’s one of your favorite times of the day,” Riley shot back, that teasing glint in her hazel eyes.
Gianna hummed under her breath. “Yes, it’s tied for the part of the day when we come home from school, and the girls all crowd into the hallway in an effort to be first .”
She let out a soft sigh as she finally reached Riley, languidly wrapping her arms over Riley’s shoulders and pulling her closer through the embrace. Close enough so their breasts brushed, and she could feel Riley’s stomach press into her own as she took a deep, settling breath.
Riley wrapped her own arms around Gianna’s waist before slowly sliding her hands down to tuck them in the back pockets of Gianna’s jeans. “I know we’ve outgrown this place; I’m not arguing with that.” Riley’s eyebrows lifted on her forehead as she glanced around the room. “I just… I love it. That’s all.”
Riley was right about her phrasing – as she so often was. They had well and truly outgrown this house.
Now that Anya was eight, Emmi was six, and the twins were nearly four, this house that Gianna had purchased over ten years ago as a single woman no longer fit the needs of their family.
“I know, carina,” she murmured, carding her finger through Riley’s thick hair. “But with how cramped we’re getting here already, where would we put Mummo?”
“Pippa and Annabelle have already offered their room,” Riley promptly answered, returning her gaze to Gianna’s. There was laughter, bright and beautiful, written across her expression. “Multiple times.”
Gianna couldn’t hold in her scoffed laughter if she tried. “I’m sure my ninety-two-year-old grandmother would love to share a bedroom with the girls.”
Riley merely arched a look at her, which had Gianna chuckling all over again. This time in concession, as she nodded.
“All right, yes. She probably wouldn’t mind.”
The fact was that her mummo lived for Riley and Gianna’s kids. Quite literally, her grandmother had made the comment that she kept kicking because she needed to see her great-grandbabies grow up many times.
She was so enamored with the girls that she’d finally acquiesced to move from Finland to the States! A request Gianna had made so many times over the years, wanting to be able to support her increasingly aging mummo without uprooting her family’s life here.
“Look, I’m not trying to stick Mummo in with the girls.” Riley shook her head, her sympathy for Gianna’s grandmother in that situation obvious. “She’d never get a good night of sleep again, and I’m positive she’d be unable to walk in less than a week after the number of small toys she’d step on in the middle of the night when she needs to go to the bathroom.”
Riley refocused on her, using the hands she had in Gianna’s back pockets to squeeze her butt. It was playful, making a grin flash over Gianna’s face at the same time that she felt the answering spark of the touch shoot through her.
It was inescapable, that flash of heat whenever Riley touched her like this. Gianna figured it had something to do with how long she’d had to keep such a tight leash on these feelings. It had to have something to do with the fact that she’d needed to repress the desire Riley’s touch elicited inside of her for over a decade.
For over ten years, the way Riley would casually touch her thigh made Gianna’s stomach clench. The way Riley’s warm breath washed over the sensitive skin of Gianna’s neck when they cuddled made her shiver. The way Riley would lick her lips after taking a sip of her drink made Gianna’s throat run dry.
She’d done her best to cope with those moments. They were unavoidable, and the way she wanted Riley had never once faded or diminished despite Gianna’s best hopes.
And now, she got to live them out. She got to kiss those soft, full lips. To slide her hands over Riley’s perfectly curvy body. To roll her hips into Riley’s when they were lying together, and she felt that zing light her up inside.
Now that she was able to let these feelings out, there was no stopping them, no curbing them. She fucking loved it.
“And I’m so excited that Mummo is coming to live with us,” Riley continued, seemingly unaware of Gianna’s thoughts. “No one tells a better story or makes a better cup of tea than your grandmother. Besides, I love our new house. It’s… us. The way we are now. Our family.”
Gianna didn’t even realize she was nodding in agreement until she’d already done so several times. But what Riley said was true.
Their new house was nestled into a cute little suburb – a place Gianna never thought she’d want to live. It had a yard – something Gianna had never found a need to have; her little city patios worked perfectly fine for her to sit outside in and have a cup of coffee from time to time. It had a two-car garage – something Gianna never thought she’d need, given that she never thought she’d even own a car.
The girls changed everything.
Before Anya was born, Gianna realized abruptly one night that Riley couldn’t be the only person in their home with a license. Riley worked at an in-person job every day! What happened if Gianna and/or their baby had an emergency and she needed to drive somewhere?
So, Gianna had finally let Riley teach her how to drive.
She’d never been someone who yearned to care for a yard, never wanted to learn how to garden. But now, with four kids under ten, she was fucking thrilled to live in a place with a backyard big enough to set up a swing set. A place with a large, fenced-in yard that was just theirs , where their daughters could run around and play and shriek and giggle, a place they could accidentally forget a toy they’d been using and have to race back to the park to hope it was still there.
A place where she and Riley had their private room, along with all of their daughters and Mummo.
Well, Pippa and Annabelle were still sharing. But if the day came that they wanted their own rooms, they could take over the guest room.
A place that was large enough for them to continue to host holidays without feeling claustrophobic when everyone arrived.
“I love that it’s our home,” she found herself whispering. That sentiment felt so strong inside of her, and she’d thought about it so many in the last couple of months throughout the process of buying a new house. “ Our home. Something we’re building together.”
Riley frowned up at her, confusion clearly etched into her face. “What do you mean? This is our home, too. I mean, it was .” She sighed, exasperatedly blowing out a breath. “You know what I mean.”
Gianna shrugged, dancing her eyes around the bereft room that had once been their living room. Granted, it had only been a couple of weeks ago that this area was filled with their furniture, a smattering of toys over the floor.
But they’d slowly but surely moved everything over to their suburban paradise, and they were officially closing the sale of this house the next day. Which was why they’d arranged for Joel to go over and watch the girls as they did a final walk-through, making sure everything was ready for them to truly walk away, forever.
“Well, I know it was our house,” she allowed, shrugging listlessly. “But… I bought it years before you and I were even a possibility in my mind. Before I ever thought that this could happen between us.”
“You loved this house when you bought it!” Riley returned, staring up at Gianna as if she’d grown two heads.
“I know!” Riley wasn’t wrong; Gianna had loved this place. “But it’s always been just that. A house. A house I meticulously decorated to my taste, a house I planned on living in by myself for several more years to come.” She paused, trying to put exactly how she felt into words. “Riley, you are home to me.”
There. It was that simple, and expressing it aloud felt so right. That was what she’d learned all those years ago.
“So, yes. I loved this place. But I love the house we’re buying together more. A place that is meant to be ours right from the start.” She gently curled a lock of Riley’s hair between her fingers as she stared down into her wife’s eyes. “I figured you’d feel the same way.”
Riley’s face was the picture of consternation as she met Gianna’s gaze. There was an obvious softness in them as she slid one of her hands up out of Gianna’s back pocket to stroke lovingly up her spine. “I do feel that way. I do love our new house and the way it already feels like a home.”
Her eyebrows knitted together, the look on her face so serious. The way she got when she was thinking about something important.
“But… I always felt like this was our home together. Even before I actually lived here.” She breathed out a cute, self-deprecating chuckle. “I know you bought this place and didn’t know that we would get married or have kids or anything like that. I get what you’re saying.”
The smile on her generous lips melted away slightly, leaving only the echo of it as Riley’s expression grew so earnest, so intense.
“The thing is, Gianna, you’ve always been my home, too. Even if it took me a lot longer to consciously think about what you mean to me,” Riley paused, holding tightly to Gianna. “The reality is that I spent my twenties looking for a love that I would have never been able to find.”
Gianna scoffed, lightly tugging on Riley’s hair in her grasp. “Babe, please. Don’t insult my favorite person – or me , actually – and tell me that the woman I’ve been in love with for my entire adult life wouldn’t have been able to enchant anyone else.”
It didn’t matter that they were married now. Gianna still refused to allow Riley to state that other people wouldn’t fall head-over-heels for her. In fact, Gianna loved being able to comment on that now that they were married. Because now , she got the peace of mind of knowing that even if there were hundreds of people who would have loved to be with Riley, Gianna was the one that got her.
Riley’s eyes rolled slightly, and she shook her head. “That’s actually not what I’m saying. Actually, that’s a moot point.” The exasperated teasing look in her eyes completely faded, into something urgent and genuine. “The point I’m making is that even though I didn’t realize I was in love with you, you’re the reason I never fell in love with anyone else.”
Gianna’s heart flip-flopped in her chest. Riley told Gianna she was in love with her every day. In both words and actions. But it would never be something she took for granted.
Even so, this was something Riley had never said to her.
“What, exactly, do you mean?”
“I mean that…” Riley thoughtfully rolled her lips. “What I mean is that Dull Dan could have been Dashing Dan, and I don’t think it would have mattered. Maybe for a few dates, but not in the long run. Yes, I wanted to fall in love, and yeah, I was – technically – dating, and I believed I was trying to make that happen. But it was never going to happen.”
Riley drew in a deep breath, her torso pressing right against Gianna’s, and she felt Riley’s strong and steady heart beating alongside her own.
“Because I was so emotionally invested in you and in us. Even before there was, romantically, an us.” Riley’s voice was so low it was barely a whisper.
Gianna heard it loud and clear as her stomach erupted in butterflies. It felt, wildly and amazingly, as if Riley was confessing her love to her for the first time.
“How could I have fallen in love with someone else, really fallen for them, when my favorite part of every day was talking to you at the end of it?” Riley asked. “How could I have fallen in love with someone else when the person I wanted was… you? The thing I wanted so badly to find was someone to build a life with without it feeling like work? I wanted to find someone who erased the very thought of loneliness from my mind. Someone who made me feel seen and heard and understood. Someone who made me laugh, who made me feel comfortable enough to cry with.”
Riley lifted her other hand, moving up to gently cup Gianna’s jaw.
“You were already that person, Gianna.”
She released a breath she hadn’t registered she’d been holding, realizing that her throat was tight with emotion as she swallowed.
“Yeah? You think?” On one hand, she felt ridiculous asking Riley if she really meant what she’d said. Not only because Riley always meant what she said, but because they were literally married! She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Riley deeply loved and adored her.
On the other hand, she felt those words soothing over a place she hadn’t known needed soothing. A place from her past, that unrequited place. Something she’d never held against Riley; as she’d always said – their friendship wasn’t a consolation prize.
“I don’t think it, I know it,” Riley’s conviction was undeniable. “Gianna, sometimes I was excited to have shitty dates because I knew afterward, my reward would be coming here to be with you.”
An incredulous laugh escaped Riley as she gently stroked her thumb along Gianna’s cheek.
“I just never realized what that meant. I never realized that I’d already been building the life I dreamed of with another person. Someone who supports my dreams, loves me completely, goes on vacation with me, and celebrates holidays with me. Someone whose company is my favorite thing and always has been.”
Gianna blinked and felt the tears spill out onto her cheeks as she drew in a shaky breath.
Before she could move to wipe them away, Riley did it for her.
“The truth is that you and I were always going to end up here. Together. In one way or another. Because I wouldn’t have been able to do this with anyone else. It was always you, even if I didn’t realize how emotionally invested I was with you. But the way I love you, this didn’t start when we started sleeping together. That just allowed me to open my eyes,” Riley finished in a murmur.
Gianna used the hand she had threaded through Riley’s hair to cup the back of her head, drawing her up. Riley moved with her, already sighing into the kiss by the time their lips touched.
The thing was, Gianna really didn’t care how long it took them to get here. She didn’t begrudge Riley those ten years. Because she, too, had loved what they’d built, even if she’d believed it would never be more than friendship.
Thank fucking god that it was so much more than that, though. She hummed at the thought, curling her lips into a smile against Riley’s. Her wife .
Riley slowly broke their kiss, blinking up at Gianna. She slowly swiped her thumb back and forth over Gianna’s sensitive, damp bottom lip.
“And that’s why I love this house. Because maybe I didn’t buy it with you, technically. But that laundry room has always been ours.” She gestured over Gianna’s shoulder toward the room in question. “That’s always been our safe place. From bonding in there to making out in there to hiding from the girls when we need a moment of peace. And this living room has always been my safe haven. The place we’d curl up together, whether we were watching reality TV or whatever cartoon the girls were obsessed with at the time. I was here to help you decide what doorknobs to choose and where to hang that painting you bought in Paris. Maybe you bought it thinking it was yours , thinking I’d never move in here. But I’ve always been yours, too.”
A low, keening sound escaped Gianna’s throat as she tugged Riley against her once more, needing to feel her lips against hers.
Riley made her feel so much . She was the only person on this planet capable of filling Gianna’s heart like this. The only person Gianna had ever wanted like this.
She was the person who had given Gianna the small herd of children – the family – she’d ached for but never believed she’d have. The person who had filled all of the sad, angry, lonely places inside of her and taught her what it was to be loved. The person who had taught her what it was like to truly feel like she was home.
And the best part was that Riley had always been hers, just as Gianna had always been Riley’s.