Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

NOAH

O n Christmas Eve, I woke up in Gemma’s bed. I had become accustomed to waking up in strange places. Life on the road would do that to a guy, but I knew where I was today.

Her sweet scent lingered in the air, the soft curves of her body tucked against mine. I opened my eyes slowly. A grin hooked on my lips when I glanced to the side to see her fast asleep in my arms. The room was still pretty dark, the first soft light of the morning casting a faint glow at her windows but not creeping in just yet.

I was never up this early, but I felt wide awake, and weirder still, I was actually excited about today. The holidays had never held much appeal to me, but I knew Gemma and her friends had all sorts of festive plans and traditions, and I was looking forward to experiencing them with her this year.

Smiling again, I brought my lips to her forehead and pressed a gentle kiss to it. The comforting weight of her head rested on my arm and her hair brushed my skin. She inhaled, her soft breaths ghosting across my side on every exhale.

Everything in the house was quiet and calm, and the sense of peace I felt as I lay there holding her was new to me. Not just peace either, but peace and belonging.

They were two things I wasn’t exceptionally familiar with, but I felt them then. Powerful emotions individually but inseparably bound together inside me, they swelled to the point where I wasn’t sure what to do with them. I breathed through it, knowing the intensity would eventually subside as I learned to adapt.

Fortunately, I was nothing if not adaptable. Kinda have to be in my line of work, especially with the nomadic lifestyle that comes with it.

Not wanting to disturb Gemma’s slumber, I stayed exactly where I was, just watching the sun rise higher into the sky outside. Its rays eventually spilled into her bedroom and created pools of sunshine on the carpet. I turned to her, knowing it wouldn’t be long now before my early bird awoke.

I didn’t even feel like a creep for watching her sleep. I loved her and she loved me, and I assumed that meant I could look at her as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted, without either of us minding.

She loves me.

While I knew it was true, I still couldn’t quite get my head wrapped around it. Gemma loved me and not because of City Lights, but in spite of it. At this point, she knew me better than almost anyone and she still loved me.

Not only that, but she trusted me enough that she had believed the truth when I’d told her. She hadn’t dragged it out or made me beg. She hadn’t made me feel like she was doing me a favor by forgiving me and she’d even apologized for not giving me a chance to explain myself earlier.

The whole thing had been resolved without drama or unnecessary theatrics. It’d been simple and easy. The truth prevailed and things were now back to the way they should be.

Life had never been that good to me. Things had never come together quite as smoothly and seamlessly as they had with her. To me, that meant only one thing. Gemma really was the one.

The knowledge settled deep into my soul like a warm, fuzzy blanket being wrapped around my shoulders after spending a freezing winter’s night outside. Everything felt right and that wasn’t something I would ever take for granted.

I’d been searching for this feeling my entire life and I would fight tooth and nail to keep it now that I had it. When Gemma stirred beside me, my gaze lowered to hers, and I got to see that magical, joyous moment she opened her eyes and realized I was still there with her.

Though still sleepy, she lit up as she looked at me, smiling lazily. She cuddled closer to my side. “Good morning, sunshine. You sleep okay? Why are you awake so early?”

I chuckled, my own voice jagged and rough with sleep. “I have no idea, but I think it might have something to do with it being Christmas Eve. I’ve never really cared much about it, but I woke up stupidly excited today.”

She pressed a kiss to my chest and sat up straight. “You’re right! It’s Christmas Eve. Come on, breakfast awaits.”

“Breakfast?” I frowned. “How is it waiting if we’re both still in bed?”

“It’s waiting for us to make it, silly. Mariam and I always blast Christmas carols and dance around in the kitchen while we drink hot cocoa and make pancakes. She’s not here, but you’ll see. It’s going to be fun.”

A radiant smile appeared on her lips. She rolled out of bed, grabbing my hand to pull me with her as she strode to the door. Then she realized we were both still naked and laughed.

“You should probably put that away before we go out there.” She stared right at my dick for a moment, a soft moan escaping her. She shook her head and took a big step back. “Do it fast. It’s Christmas Eve. We can’t spend all day in bed.”

“We can’t?”

“Nope,” she said cheerfully, but her cheeks flushed with that pretty, rosy blush when she glanced back down. “As much as I might want to, we’ve got to get in the Christmas spirit.”

“I’d rather get into you,” I teased, serious but knowing it wasn’t going to happen.

These girls took their traditions seriously. Every last fucking one of them. And they seemed to have a lot. But Christmas spirit? Sure. Yeah. I guess. Why the hell not?

I could at least try, especially considering that I’d been looking forward to the moment she woke up specifically for this very reason. It was Christmas Eve, and I knew she was going to be over the moon about, and her excitement made my pulse speed up, triggering a sense of excitement of my own.

Gemma winked at me as she crossed over to her dresser. “You will get into me, Noah Parks, but later. Pancakes first. Dancing. Carols. Hot cocoa. We’re only due at Deb’s to decorate Christmas cookies later this afternoon, so we’ll have plenty of time for everything else in between.”

“Fine.” I gave her a mock pout. “Pancakes first, but you’re going to have to stop looking at it if you want me to put it away. You’re waking it up.”

She pumped her eyebrows at me. “Oh, no. Anything but that.”

I laughed. “ You’re the one who wants pancakes.”

“As if you aren’t starving too,” she said playfully, pulling a nightdress out of her drawer and quickly putting it on.

The fabric was red and hunter green, the print entirely made up of Santas, elves, candy canes, and sprigs of holly, and I did a slow double take. “Wow. You really are into Christmas.”

She beamed at me, adding in a one-shouldered shrug and shimmy kind of move. “It’s the most wonderful time of year. After today, you’re going to think so too. Now hurry up and get dressed.”

I did as I’d been told, but since I didn’t have my stuff with me, my Christmas Eve outfit wasn’t quite as festive as hers. It consisted of socks, boxer briefs, and a half-open button-down from last night. Gemma’s gaze raked over me once I was as dressed as I was going to get, and I shook my head when she started toward me.

“Nope. You wanted pancakes. Let’s get out there,” I said. “I’ll have to go to Brandon’s at some point so I can change into proper clothes.”

“You should bring your stuff here,” she suggested softly, suddenly seeming nervous as she glanced at me. “If you want to stay with me while you’re in town, of course.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” I closed the distance between us in a couple long strides, snaked an arm around her, and tugged her to me. The pancakes can wait for one more fucking minute.

“For as long as you’ll have me,” I murmured into a feverish kiss. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

“I’ll have you forever, but I suppose that’s not really an option,” she murmured, drawing in a deep breath and effectively ending the kiss. “Your fans would kill me, but consider this your home when you’re in Austin from now on.”

Something inside me grew so warm that the heat became almost uncomfortable. I was flooded with it, like a volcano had erupted within and lava was coursing through my veins. My jaw tightened, my chest becoming tight with the need to make her mine.

Exactly how I was supposed to do that, I didn’t know yet, but there was definitely something roaring at me from the furthest reaches of my being, vehemently insisting that I never separate from her again.

“Do you have any plans with your parents today?” I asked instead of dwelling on the intensity of my emotions for her.

Still don’t really know what to do with them, so into the box they go.

Mercifully oblivious to all the emotional baggage I was going to have to unpack during the course of the next few days, she sighed and shook her head. “I don’t. They’ll be at Deb’s Christmas party tomorrow, but I’m not even sure what they’re doing today. I haven’t spent Christmas Eve with them in years.”

My gut twisted when she said it. I’d known all along that she wasn’t that close to her parents, and I could relate deeply to that, but it brought that need to make her mine back into sharp focus. The box I’d been trying to shove it into flew wide open and it took me a minute to get it all back under control.

Gemma and I belonged together and I wanted to be with her every damn day. I never wanted her to be sad about not seeing her parents again. I didn’t want her to be sad about anything, actually. All I wanted was to make her happy. To make every day the happiest day of her life.

I wanted to give her everything, the incredible holidays, the adventure, the sense of family and belonging she was giving me.

“Are you okay?” she asked suddenly, glancing at me from the open door. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere important.” At least that was true. I smiled, took her hand, and walked with her to the kitchen.

Gemma only let go of my hand when we reached it. She pulled out her phone, and the next thing I knew, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree started playing full blast. She started playing air guitar and tossing out some pretty sweet moves that had me in stitches.

That was how we spent our morning, making pancakes from scratch and intermittently sipping on hot cocoa while we danced, sang, and played our fake guitars until our fingers bled. It seemed to make her happy, and frankly, it did the same for me.

She’d been right about it being fun. It was the best time I’d ever had on Christmas Eve day. I hadn’t felt at home for a holiday in years, but with her, I really felt like I might just buy my own Christmas pajamas next year. In the afternoon, when she finally went to decorate Christmas cookies with her friends, I dropped her off and took her car over to Brandon’s to pick up my stuff.

He wasn’t there, which meant that it took no time at all before I met Gemma and her crew back at Deb’s, I decorated my first ever cookie and laughed as they did stockings. To my surprise—and Leif’s—Gemma had one ready for each of us too, and I thought of the bracelet, but that was for tomorrow.

After the most Christmassy Christmas Eve that ever Christmassed, I crawled into her bed again that night, immediately pulled her close, and sealed my mouth over hers, murmuring between fiery kisses that were only growing more heated by the second.

“Thank you for today, Gem. It was amazing.”

“I’m glad you liked it because, for as long as you’re with me, this is Christmas, baby,” she whispered.

I couldn’t even describe how that made me feel, except hard. Really hard.

“I love you, Noah,” she added, and I fucking melted.

On the inside, anyway. I softened to a steaming puddle of Christmas goo . On the outside, however, everything was still harder than ever.

“I love you.” I gathered her tiny body in my arms as I kissed her, unable to really believe the force with which I felt the things I felt for her, but shit, I had it bad.

We spent half the night wrapped up in each other before we crashed. We woke up on Christmas morning only to melt together all over again almost as soon as we opened our eyes. Since we were due at Deb’s a little later, we spent the morning lazy and in bed, eventually leaving her room in search of coffee and winding up singing together in the kitchen again.

Elvis Presley and some of the other greats this time. I serenaded her with I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You , and she hit me back with Dolly Parton’s From Here to the Moon and Back, a little off-key but damn, I liked how it sounded .

I loved how much she loved music, and I loved that there always seemed to be some in her house. Either on the TV, the radio, or just her singing. Well, both of us singing now.

When we finally arrived at Deb’s, the house was even fuller than it’d been on Thanksgiving. Cars were parked in her driveway, on the lawn, and down the block. It looked like the whole neighborhood had shown up, but she didn’t seem to mind. If anything, she seemed to thrive with her house full of people and every available flat surface covered in food.

They’d decorated her house with all sorts of Christmas ornaments, lights, and trinkets, and once again, I felt like I’d wandered into a winter wonderland, but I loved it. I was really starting to get into all these traditions they had for absolutely every occasion, and since they seemed happy to have me be part of them, I decided that from now on I’d go out of my way to be present for it all.

When it was time for gifts, everyone gathered in Deb’s living room and it took hours to get through the mountain of presents under the tree. Once Gemma and I had ours though, we returned to our little corner of the room, taking a moment to ourselves while the others kept talking and going up to accept their gifts.

Her green eyes met mine as she unwrapped the bracelet. It slipped into her palm when she pulled the paper away, a sparkling silver that caught the light filtering in through the windows and shone as she opened her fingers to glance down at it. “Noah, this is incredible. It’s beautiful. Where on earth did you find it?”

“The Christmas festival,” I said dryly. “This is what I was really doing that afternoon, not cuddling up with some socialite like the reporters were speculating.”

Tears sprang to her eyes and she inhaled deeply. “I love it. Will you put it on me?”

She held out her wrist and handed over the bracelet, and I quickly clipped it on before bringing the clasp up to my mouth to kiss it, feeling her pulse thundering against my mouth. I smiled, just letting myself revel in her racing heart for a moment before she excitedly thrust her present to me into my free hand.

“Your turn! Open it already.”

I chuckled, but a strange pressure took over my eyes when I tore off the wrapping paper to find an ornament that looked like my guitar inside. The instrument was my most valuable possession and I couldn’t believe she’d found a little replica, something I could keep with me and potentially even use as something that symbolized me in a house I could actually live in.

I’d been thinking about that a lot recently, making a home. Preferably with her, but I would have to figure that out later. Leif had pulled out another gift, a tiny package that had been hidden, nestled between the branches of the tree.

As he slowly lowered himself onto one knee, Gemma’s attention flew straight to her friends. I slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and watching with her. He took Laurel’s hand and looked up at her.

Gemma squealed softly with joy and I gazed at her, realizing that I could see myself being happy with her for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to waste any time that I could’ve had with her.

Gemma Longstrum was it for me and I’d already lost her once. I had no intention of that happening again. I was already all in on her. Soon, I was going to let her know it.