Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

“Areyou deadly sure you’re serious about this? That area can get sticky. I’m not saying that lightly, either.”

“I’m positive,” I tell Ebony onscreen. “It’s always been a thing of mine. Always. Since Connor’s gone, I just haven’t really thought about it all that much. I’ve been kinda busy with other hot dreams.”

I’m laughing, but she’s not. Her piercing eyes are jabbing so hard, I feel like a kid on trial.

“Don’t worry,” I say. “I already had all these items ticked on my naughty list. It’s no real shocker.”

“It’s one thing having some options ticked on your list amongst a load of others. It’s another starring a load of hardcore ones on purpose to bring the punters in.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to Eb about my decision to flash my interests so brightly for the clients to see, but I was mega excited. It’s a profile feature I only just found out about – starring naughty list options you’re particularly keen on. The system keeps opening up further and further before my eyes…

“I can always back out, can’t I? And I can always unstar them,” I say to Eb, and she shrugs.

“Well, yeah, of course, but if you want the reviews you won’t. And I know you. You’ll want the reviews at any cost.”

She’s right. She is coming to know me very well, and yes, I do want the reviews at any cost.

“I won’t baulk and flee from BDSM regardless,” I tell her. “I know what I’m up for.”

“Yeah, and you must be up for a damn lot if this list is serious. Your profile is showing an awful lot of starred options, there for the taking.”

She’s got a point. Maybe I did star a big list of items impulsively when I got back in from Viv and Mark’s place, but the feelings are still there inside me – and every option I starred was on my original list anyway.

I want BDSM. I love BDSM. I love to feel out of control, and I love the thrill and the subspace of the pain. Of true submission. Why not get paid for it?

Eb holds her hands up. “It’s none of my business really, I’m only looking out for you.”

I smile at her. “I know that.”

“Really though. How are you going to feel when you rock up to an anonymous client’s house who has a dungeon, binds you up in it and beats you until you’re a quaking, quivering mess?”

I laugh. “Brilliant. I’m sure I’ll feel brilliant.”

She points through the screen at me with a smirk. “Now that is false bravado, and you know it. You’ll be shitting yourself.”

I suck on some of my strawberry milkshake, fresh from my shopping trip earlier. I’ve stocked up on new shoes, and a couple of new bodices and… an O-ring collar. I want to be a sub crawling around on my knees.

Eb is right, of course. I’m not so much of an idiot that I don’t know I’ll be crapping myself as soon as a decent fantasy offering comes to life. I’m just high and happy. It’s a feeling of lightness I haven’t known in years. Optimistic about the future. No worries, just dreams…

“You do BDSM yourself, right?” I ask Eb.

“Yeah, to a degree. Not anything like this degree, though. The kids would notice.”

“I haven’t ticked the cane option. I’m playing it safe on that.”

“Whoopty doo. How about the rest of it? Ready? Let’s hear it in its full glory.” She clears her throat. “Bondage – extreme. Hands, feet, leg spreaders, tits, gag, dog on a lead, blindfold. Standing, doggy, flat. Tit torture – slapping, paddle, crop, clamps. Pussy torture – slapping, paddle, crop, clamps. General – hand, flogger, dressage whip, crop, paddle. Bruising – yes, acceptable. Tolerance – mid to high.”

Ok, it does sound a lot when she says it like that, but nothing is too out of bounds. Ha. Another ironic word choice.

“I’ve done those before,” I tell her. “Every single one of them.”

“Not while someone is in total control and paying for it. Do you definitely know what mid to high even means?”

“Yes! I do! I checked out the chat threads before I starred the options.”

“When you were horny?” she asks. I don’t answer, and she laughs, rolling her eyes. “You did, didn’t you? You checked them out when you were already horny, and you starred your profile then. Were you fingering yourself while you did it?”

I don’t deny it, just shrug. “I still find it horny now, so who cares?”

She holds her hands up. “Fine, cool. I’ll stop harping on about it.”

It is brilliant to be cared for so much, by such a superstar as Ebony, but I’m not lying to her in the slightest. I am still horny for everything on the list. I went through every single item with purpose. Connor and I barely played genuine BDSM once we moved to London, and I miss it. Subspace was always one of my favourites, and people who want it enough to pay for it are going to be serious about it. They’re going to know what they’re doing.

If anything, they’re going to be a lot safer than Connor when they’re in command. They’re going to know the setup they want, and how to reach it. And if there were any deviations… any complaints, they’d be right off the system.

“Better start checking your proposals, hadn’t you?” Eb says, and she’s back to her regular smile now, motherly speech over.

“Don’t worry. I’m refreshing on loop.”

In the meantime, I show her my new shoes and clothes, bragging about how I even treated myself to a burger meal. She shows me her new manicured nails, and some lovely new pearl drop earrings one of her clients bought her as an extra present last night. They must have cost a small fortune.

I’m distracted, but still clicking refresh every thirty seconds. I try not to panic, because it’s still only mid-afternoon, but boy, I breathe a sigh of relief when my first starred proposal pings through.

“Here it comes!” I tell Eb, but my excitement is deflated as soon as I scan through the contents.

Basic flogging while bound, then being fucked from behind. £500.

“That’s alright,” Eb says. “A solid start.”

“Don’t get me wrong, that’s fine,” I reply. “But I want more…”

Another one comes in a few minutes later. Flogging and crop on the ass, over a flogging bench, with oral and anal. £700. Again, cool and fine, but I want something exciting, something extreme, something that will have me out of my mind with trepidation. And excitement.

Then it comes in.

User 109. Male. 40.

I read the rest of the proposal out to Eb.

“I like extreme BDSM, especially with newbies who are fresh to the scene. I have a dungeon set up at my home address, with a variety of equipment including a St Andrew’s cross, a bench, rack, shackles and gym horse. I love variety, and love reading a scene.

You have tits built for bondage and pain, so that would be a must on my list. I love pussy torture, so that would also be a must. Stretching and clamps a necessity.

I will use crops, paddles and whips, and I’ll leave extreme purple bruising on your ass, and both your outer and inner thighs. I’ll leave light lashes on your back and ribs, and bruising on your tits.

You’ll be gagged at points, bound at plenty of points, and I may push you hard enough for tears. However, I do use additional toys to keep pleasure levels high as well as pain.

My dungeon is soundproofed, so there is no need to worry about noise.

I like my submissives naked and ready to use from the moment they arrive in the dungeon.

Duration – 8 hours.

Proposal price – £10000.

10k????

I’m sure he must have put an extra nought on there by mistake, but Ebony shakes her head.

“Nope. Sounds about right. What’s his User number? We should check him out.”

My gut twists at that, because I don’t want to. Knowing anything about User 109 before I turn up at his dungeon will only put presets in my mind. I want to be fresh, unprepared and scared shitless. I want to be the newbie he wants.

I shake my head. “I don’t want to check him out first.”

She widens her eyes. “Are you mental? He wants eight hours of BDSM with you.”

“Yeah, and he’s told me what he wants. I can handle that.”

“At least see what his preferences really are from the threads,” she says, but I’m grinning, shaking my head, summoning back the confidence I had from last night – getting punished for fucking a stranger’s husband.

I’m gaining my confidence, and this proposal will be one at the top of the tree. If I can get through the nerves and come out battered and bruised with another five-star review under my belt, then that’s a whole new world.

Ebony sighs. “There’s no reasoning with you today. Whoever those clients were last night, they’ve definitely ramped up your horniness levels.”

“They sure did. So has the idea of a 10k proposal in my inbox.”

She shoots me a side eye at that. “You’d have done it for much less than five figures.”

“May have done.”

She tosses one of Jamie’s cute little stuffed toys at the screen with a giggle. “God, Ella, you’re so transparent. You’d have done it for a tenner, let alone ten grand, the mood you’re in today.”

“Probably.” I giggle back, both of us shaking our heads, and I’m so glad I have her. So glad she’s here for me through it all.

Chatrooms are chatrooms and threads are cool, but it’s different in actual conversation. I don’t know what I’d do without her on the other side of the screen. I can’t wait to meet her one day, when she’s not so busy with family life on top of work.

Maybe it’ll be at the entertainer’s Christmas Party – I’ve seen people talking about it plenty in the threads. I just hope the final date turns out to be before my flight, so I can make it. Eb says she’ll be there.

“You going to accept that crazy proposal, then?” she asks me when the giggles stop.

I take another big suck of my strawberry milkshake, grinning around the straw.

“I clicked accept when it first came in,” I tell her, and poke my tongue out. “I’m already signed up for Saturday night.”