Chapter 15

Josh sitsme down on the sofa and the words come out in one long splurge when he asks me what the hell happened. My cheeks burn up like a furnace as I recount the humiliation through my sobs. The way Richard looked at me like I was nothing but a piece of cheap pussy for sale.

Josh squeezes my hands as I speak, giving quiet reassurance until I've finished my outburst, and then he clears his throat to say his piece.

"Richard Jacobs is nothing but a sleazy, low-life, self-righteous cunt."

I raise my eyebrows. "You know him? But you bought your place, right? You didn't go through Kingsgate."

"Yes, I bought this place, but he's around here a fair amount, both with friends and for viewings. And I know plenty of him, vile piece of shit. Tiff has had more unfortunate run-ins with him than I have. She'd happily give him a drop kick in the balls and piss on his grave."

"He's a real piece of work, then?"

"That's putting it lightly. He's a seedy shit bag with an ego the size of Mars."

I feel sick at the gulf between my dreams and reality. I always take people at face value, until they treat me like crap. I think back to the apartment viewing, and my throat chokes up again. Richard was so nice to me when he was showing me and Ebony around, but the truth is so fucking obvious now, and Eb nailed it from the start. Why have I always been so damn na?ve?

"He had ammunition, didn't he?" I say. "He had some aces stashed up his sleeve, ready to call on when he needed them. He knew my credit rating was shit, and he knew that my address is in the slums."

"Oh, yeah," Josh says. "A prick like him will always have his filthy aces ready to play. Thank fuck he has none whatsoever when it comes to me and Tiff, or he'd use them every chance he got. He's been propositioning her for the past eighteen months solid. Every time they've crossed paths he's hounded the crap out of her. Or he did until about six weeks ago."

"What happened six weeks ago?"

"She was sick to death of giving him the middle finger and telling him to fuck off, so she waited until he had prospective tenants one morning and followed him up to the eighth floor. He was hanging around outside one of the front doors to give his prospective tenants some space when she walked on by, and the fact he was at work didn't matter shit. He started right up with his sleazy bullshit about wanting a piece of her, only this time she screamed the whole fucking place down, as loud as she could. And honestly, that would have been loud. It probably shook the whole tower."

"She screamed at him while he was giving a viewing?"

"Yeah, she screamed at the top of her lungs that he needed to stop offering to pay her for sex like a desperate perv, or she was going to call the police."

I can imagine Tiff doing that, and it makes me smile through the hurt. Josh smiles too as he continues.

"You'll have to ask her for her impression of him, but it was a classic, apparently. His swagger dried up to nothing and he paled like a ghost. She said she thought his knees were going to buckle, he looked so fucking mortified. The prospective tenants came out as though they were storming into a crime scene, and Tiff let rip again. This time with tears. Talk about getting in the zone." He squeezes my hands. "You can ask her for some tips ready for next time you cross paths with him. I'll tell him to fuck off for you when I see him, don't worry, but he's like a dog with a boner, and if I pushed him down the elevator shaft it would only give him more ammunition. He can get stuffed. He's a powerless, pathetic wanker. Don't feel shy about telling him so."

"I wasn't shy about telling him so, don't worry. I'm getting more ballsy as time goes on."

"You're gaining confidence, not getting ballsy. Scumbags like him, and pieces of shit like the guys outside your old place can go rot in hell. Have the faith in yourself to hold your head high. Plenty of people will want to cast you down like a cheap nothing in public once they know you're a sex worker, but then plenty of them will be out to offer you a chunk of cash for your services when nobody is watching. They are the two faced, judgemental assholes who need to be ashamed of themselves. Not us. Not you."

I pull him close and wrap my arms around him, my pulse beginning to calm, even though my heart is still aching for the dream apartment Richard has snatched away.

"Thanks, Josh."

"You don't need to thank me, Ells. I haven't done anything."

I shake my head. "That's not true. You chased away asshole guys on bikes, and helped me heave all my stuff out of my old room and over to your place. You listen. You share. You care about me."

"And you'd do the same for me, I'm sure of it."

I ease back enough to run a hand across his cheek. "Yep, that's right. Tit for tat."

"Always."

I sigh. "I'd better get browsing for new places. Nowhere too posh this time, since Richard Jacobs might be tainting my name all over the city."

"Don't give him more credit than he's due. Despite his fa?ade, he's not all that prestigious. He might know a few other agencies, but that's about all. He plays high lord, when he's just a guy in tweed." He pauses. "You'll have plenty of options. Just take your time. Make sure you find a place you want as much as this one."

"As if that'll happen. The Belgravia towers are perfection personified." I look around his apartment, so eccentric, but so lush. I could cry again at the thought of cancelling my black and gold brocade sofa. So many deliveries I'm going to have to hold off. I had so many plans of my own. So many dreams of creating the space of all spaces.

Josh smooths down the lapels on my blazer.

"There's no rush, Ella, I'm serious. You can stay with me as long as you need. Make sure you're happy with your choice before you take it. Don't knee jerk and take somewhere because it looks ‘ok'. You'll regret it."

"You don't have to put me up like that," I say. "I was supposed to be bunking up with you for a few days. I don't want to impose on your generosity like a needy cow."

"You won't be." His eyes sparkle. "You're so very welcome here."

"Thank you." I rest my head on his shoulder. "I hope I get the chance to repay some of these tit for tats one day."

"I'm sure you will."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I feel myself returning to normal. Kind of. I've learnt to bounce back from rejection and deception pretty well through my time in London. I'll add one more feather to my confidence cap.

I'm done with Richard Jacobs, and feeling like trash, and I'm done with the hurt and the pain of losing an apartment of my dreams. Who cares, really? It's just an apartment, and a dirty old man in charge of renting it out. There are way more important things in life. And one of them is Josh. It's not even on the same scale.

"Talking of tit for tat," I say. "Before I threw myself in here, crying my eyes out, I was pretty excited to hear what you'd been up to last night."

"Pacing around waiting for you to get back from Daddy's, you mean? It wasn't exactly riveting." He laughs, knowing full well what I really mean. "You want to know about the guy I played around with last night? How much do you want to hear about it?"

His mood is so calm and supportive, which I really appreciate, but a switch has been flicked in me. I want Josh to fuck Daddy right out of me, and fuck the shit about Richard Jacobs out of me, too.

I want flesh.

I want lust.

I want Josh.

"Every tiny detail," I tell my boyfriend, and then I shrug my blazer off, sinking into the headspace of now.

"That's good to hear, since it's a big fucking tit for tat on my part. I want to know what my princess has been up to with filthy strangers."

He tugs his t-shirt off over his head, and I get the full glorious sight of his muscular torso. His abs are so ripped, it's insane.

"You go first," I say. "Tell me about your silver fox, and then I'll tell you about mine."

"Gladly," he says, unzips his pants and frees his cock.

My pussy sings at the sight of it.

"The guy I fucked last night is crazy for eating ass." He says, working his cock. "The dirtier, the better. You could call him a very, very dirty daddy, and he keeps on getting dirtier. He's the kind of client who wants to push it further every time. And last night, he wanted more than usual. He wanted my ass in his face for hours and his tongue buried deep, lubing me up with a whole load of spit to take a decent plunging. He's a cock and a toy at once, kind of guy. Straight up anal doesn't do enough for him. Neither giving, nor taking. Not anymore. Give it a few more years, and who the fuck knows what he's going to want from me. He's getting himself ready for it."

"What do you think he's going to be wanting?"

Josh looks me right in the eyes, trying to scope me out.

"Come on," I say. "I don't want to be wrapped in cotton wool. I want the gory details. I want to know what it really takes to be a hardcorer."

"He'll want me to build him up all night long, until I manage to get two whole fucking hands in his asshole. I used to be so nervous of hurting people when I started, but now I know the game, it's really not so bad. Just pure fucking filth on a platter."

"You've put two whole fists in someone's ass?"

He nods. "Quite a few times. Just not with this client. He's still a double dick player, edging up to fisting. He's got a long way to go."

"And what about him? Will he want to do the same to you? Will he want to double fist you?"

"Yes. Maybe in alternation."

My eyes widen. "Will you give it to him?"

"Most likely." Josh's eyes are so filthy as he loosens his belt and shoves his pants down. "It's all going to happen at some point, the goalposts are always moving, little by little, a piece at a time. So, when it does, I'll eat it up, whatever he wants, and make sure it's worth every penny. He's a big payer."

My breaths turn shallow, because Josh's words strike a chord. That's what I want to be like. I want to be a girl who eats it up for her clients and makes it worth every penny.

And then come home to my boyfriend in the aftermath…

All thoughts of jealousy and reservation are out of the window when Josh squeezes the base of his cock and the veins darken. It's magnetic, drawing my eyes like it's a wonder. I lean back against the sofa and hoist my legs up, showing Josh my white cotton panties, still dirty from Daddy.

He smiles at the sight.

"Your turn," he says. "What did your daddy do to you?"

I smirk. "He cleaned my cum filled pussy out with a cold wet flannel wrapped around his fingers. And then he did my ass with it."

"Nice."

"There was more, though. Pussy spanking, oral, anal, pussy, and that was all great, but there was something else. I could feel my daddy fighting some urges last night, bubbling away under the surface."

Josh rubs his thumb against my clit through my panties.

"Go on… tell me…"

I close my eyes, recalling the scene.

"He wanted to wash my mouth out, so he had me on my knees in the shower, and he used the shower head. He aimed the jet right at my open mouth."

Josh's thumb circles so well.

"A warm jet, gurgling in your throat? Let me guess… did he ask you to swallow?"

I nod. "I swallowed as much as I could."

"And what if he'd have wanted you to gurgle and gulp down a dirtier jet? A warm stream right from his cock? Would you have done it?"

I feel so dirty admitting it. I feel almost guilty at how my pussy sparks, thinking about drinking another man's piss while my boyfriend plays with me.

"Be honest, Ella," Josh says. "Would you have done it? Did you want it?"

He tugs my panties to the side, and slides three fingers in my pussy – where Daddy has been.

I picture Daddy's face as I stared up at him. How fucking sick but how fucking right it would have felt if he'd have taken out his cock and pissed in my mouth instead of using the shower.

I'd have wanted it.

I moan before I answer. "Yeah, I wanted it. I would have done it."

"You wanted his piss in your face?"

"Yes. Like a good girl."

"Would you have swallowed?"

I meet Josh's eyes, already bucking against his fingers.

"I'd have gulped down every single mouthful I could take, and I'd have thanked him for it."

"Dirty bitch," Josh says, and he lowers himself on top of me. I'm still in my uniform as he pulls my panties to the side and thrusts his dick in hard, every barbell grating. "You'd have swallowed down another man's piss last night, and you haven't even tasted mine yet."

"I want to," I tell him. "I've never done it before, Josh, but I want to taste yours. Like you said, it's only a matter of time, isn't it? It's inevitable. I'm going to be a hardcorer, and I'm going to do filthy fucking things, pushing it harder and harder. Piss play will only be the start of it… I've seen how deep the rabbit hole goes."

He groans, and I know his animal instincts are simmering. His own deep desires bubbling. And that's what I wanted when I first started ticking dirty boxes on the naughty list. I wanted to be like Josh, and Tiff. I wanted to be extreme. To live a life of utter filth and debauchery, for a serious amount of cash.

"I pissed all over the shower floor as he watched me," I tell him. "I knew he was tempted."

"But he didn't do it?"

"No."

"Maybe you should have begged for it," he says.

"Damn, you're right, I should have. I'll remember to beg for it next time."

"I'm going to be a bad influence on you," he says. "I'll only encourage you, you know that? I'll make you a dirtier and dirtier bitch at home, taking first place before the clients who want to pay for it. I'll push you, and you'll encourage me, and who knows where we'll end up?"

I see the look in his eyes, though. His question is rhetorical. I know he's well aware where we'll end up.

He knows what Tiff does – the very deepest and darkest fantasies she indulges for people. He knows his own back catalogue – some of it still in the shadows, unshared.

He knows I'll do it, too.

"Are you going to piss in my mouth?" I ask him, and he smirks, thrusting harder.

"Of course I am, baby. You'll be taking piss in every single hole if I have my way, but it'll happen when it happens."

"Jesus," I say, "that sounds really hot."

"It will be," he says, "And trust me to take care of the order of our naughty list, and you take care of enjoying your own. Tell me some more about Daddy, tell me how much you liked being his little girl. Make me a jealous asshole who wants to fuck him right out of you, because it's twisting me up, baby. Such a hot fucking contradiction. On one hand I'm so fucking possessive, I could scream, and on the other I want you to be the slut of all sluts. I want you to work through the naughty list like the dirtiest bitch alive."

"Tit for fucking tat," I moan, because I feel the same twist. I think about him being a dirty bastard with dirty women, and groups of men. Other couples. Other people paying for his beautiful mouth and his beast of a cock, and his crazy skills using them.

I get what he's saying.

I get what he means.

It's a combination of so much – filthy souls entangling, beyond words.

"This is going to drive me crazy," I tell him. "I'm going to get so dirty, I won't be able to stop."

"I'm already crazy," Josh says. "I was insane before I ticked the boxes on the naughty list and signed my body over to them for cash, they just made me a whole load worse."

"Or better," I tell him and I dig my nails into his shoulders, as he fucks me rough.

I tell him what a dirty little girl I was with Daddy, and how much I wanted him. He tells me how filthy he was with his silver fox client and how he enjoyed catching the taste of pure, nasty filth on his tongue piercing, right from his client's asshole.

It's hot. It's gross. It's addictive.

And I'm addicted to him.

Just as well he's offered me a longer stay here in his place, until I get another rental of my own, because I couldn't leave if I wanted to. Right now, I'm so desperate for him, I'd be clawing at his door.

We're both a sweaty mess on the living room rug when we're done with fucking. He lies beside me, and pulls me in close, back to our calmer selves now that our filthy, lusty serpents have buried their way into the shadows.

"Let's get lunch," Josh says. "And then we can compare proposal calendars. I want to make sure I'm ahead of the curve on yours."

"You've got a task on your hands there, then," I laugh. "My calendar is pretty jam packed after my supposed moving date, and there are plenty of new experiences on there for me. Some I'd never have even thought of."

He gives me a smirk and a side eye as he gets up from the floor, and then he holds out a hand to me.

"I never turn down a challenge, Ella."