Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Layla

It’s big.

And hard.

It’s been a really, really long time.

I chewed on my pen cap and stared down at my notebook.

Really, really hard, I added. So much so that apparently it deserved two spaces in the pro column. And I underlined the really. Both of them.

I’d gotten ready early, so all I needed to do was slip into my dress. Since Gray wasn’t due for another half hour, I’d started a pro and con analysis of sleeping with him. After twenty minutes, my pro list was pretty long, yet my con list had only one item. But if I’d dropped my collection of pros and the single con onto a scale, I was pretty sure the weight of that one negative might still tip the scale to its side.

Could break my heart again.

That was really my only reservation anymore. I’d forgiven him. I’d accepted everything he’d told me as the truth. I’d even admitted to myself that we were unfinished business I couldn’t move on from, no matter how hard I’d tried.

Yet I was still terrified. Deep down, part of me worried that I wasn’t any different than my mother—that I wasn’t capable of seeing a situation for what it really was and would accept a man who was something other than what I ultimately wanted.

I thought back to the day I’d realized my mother was in denial. I was fifteen, and my dad had left the day before for his usual four days on the west coast—with his real family. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea while looking through travel brochures for Hawaii. I’d gotten excited and asked if we were going on a vacation.

She’d smiled and said yes. “Your father was going to surprise us, but I found them in his suitcase when I was unpacking him from his business trip.”

Business trip. That’s what she always called the time he spent with his wife and other daughter.

My smile had faded. Sure. He was going to surprise us with a trip. They weren’t brochures his wife had stuck in there for him to pick a nice place for his real family. I’d shaken my head and said, “Mom…there is no trip.”

“Of course there is,” she’d said.

I’d searched her face, thinking she couldn’t possibly believe it. But she had.

It made me sad.

We never went to Hawaii that summer. But Dad did happen to have a two-week absence, and when he’d called to talk to us, the area code for his business trip was 808. Maui.

How could she not have seen it? I was just a kid, and I saw it clear as day. The only logical explanation was that she justified everything in her head because she wanted to be with him. And admitting that the man she loved was a liar would have meant it was wrong for her to be with him. Love is supposed to be blind, but it’s not supposed to make you deaf, dumb, and stupid, too.

Putting away my notebook, I decided to get dressed. If I truly planned on giving this relationship a chance, I couldn’t spend my pre-date time reminiscing about my parents’ poor example of a relationship and all of my trust issues.

I’d decided to wear a gown, rather than a cocktail dress. Black tie could go either way, and I was in the mood to dress up. I’d spent an inordinate amount of money on the thing and had only worn it once—to a charity event I’d attended for a client along with a few others at my firm. It was the most beautiful, deep shade of midnight blue. It had a simple, sleek silhouette with a neckline that cut low, but still managed to cover up everything and pull off elegant. Delicate beading cinched my waist in a belt-like pattern and made my curves seem even curvier. When I’d worn it to the previous event, I’d gotten a ton of compliments—from men and women.

My buzzer rang right on time, and I told Gray to come up while I lined my lips in an extra bright shade of red. He stepped off the elevator just as I unlocked the front door, and I let out a little sigh. God, he looked gorgeous.

His usually messy hair was slicked back and to the side, and his tuxedo fit him perfectly. He looked like an old-fashioned movie star, a gentleman. Although when he prowled to the door and wrapped his arm around my waist, his mouth was anything but gentlemanly.

“You look good enough to eat.”

I rested my hands on his chest and teased, “Maybe I need to lose another bet at the party tonight.”

Gray growled and took my mouth in a kiss. I loved that his hands always found my face when he kissed me. He cupped my cheeks and tilted my head to the side while he sucked on my tongue. I imagined how it might feel if his head was between my legs and he sucked there with the same intensity. Before he broke the kiss, his tongue retreated and then came back to flutter against mine.

Oh my God.

I hadn’t imagined what his tongue would feel like on me; he was showing me.

“You don’t have to win or lose a bet, sweetheart. Just say the word. I’m salivating at the chance to burrow my tongue in that tight little pussy of yours.”

I shivered. God, I loved that dirty mouth of his. “I think you better stay out here while I get my purse.”

When I turned to walk inside, Gray stayed firmly planted in the doorway.

“I was teasing, you know. Come in.”

He shook his head slowly as his eyes raked up and down. “Trust me. I need to stay out here.”

***

“I should’ve brought business cards. Slipped them into my dress.”

We’d just finished talking to the third couple Gray had basically told they should move their legal business to my firm. It hadn’t even dawned on me that the majority of the people I’d be meeting tonight were prospective securities clients—even though it made perfect sense since it had been Gray’s father’s business, and we were at a party for his partner.

He looked down at the neckline of my dress. “Pretty sure you have nowhere to hide anything under there.”

Gray walked us to the dance floor and pulled me into his arms. I wasn’t surprised to find that he danced like he kissed—aggressively, holding me pressed against him. He had grace and rhythm and led with a strong hand.

“Where did you learn to dance?” I asked.

“Not from the ballroom dancing lessons one of my stepmothers enrolled me in when I was eleven.”

I furrowed my brow. “You didn’t go, yet you learned how to dance?”

“Etta taught me. It was part of the deal I made with her. I wanted to take karate lessons, not ballroom dancing. My stepmother insisted dancing was a skill necessary for a man who would grow up going to social engagements. Etta used the money for the dancing lessons to pay for the karate lessons no one knew I took, but I had to let her teach me how to dance.”

The most adorable vision of an eleven-year-old Gray dancing with Etta made me smile. “I love that. And she did a good job teaching you. You also have a certain assertive way about you that makes you naturally a good partner.”

Gray nuzzled into my hair and used his hand at my back to tug me closer. “I can’t wait to dance with you horizontally.”

He smelled so good, danced wonderfully, kissed me like it might be his last, and I knew from feeling him straddled beneath me in the limousine last night that he was also well endowed. It was debatable which one of us couldn’t wait more than the other.

After the song was over, we sat down at our assigned table. We’d been seated with Grant’s children, two women about my age, or a little older maybe. They were both very friendly when Gray had introduced us earlier in the evening.

“So what do you do, Layla?” the one named Chelsea asked.

“I’m an attorney with Latham & Pittman.”

“What’s your specialty?”

“I do mostly SEC and transactional work.”

“Oh. So you’re familiar with the lingo all of these people use, then?”

“I’m afraid so.” I smiled.

“I’m an art appraiser.” She poured wine from one of the bottles set up on the table. “Which means all I hear when most of these people talk is blah blah blah.”

I laughed. “People in the industry tend to use a lot of acronyms and like to talk shop.”

“How did you and Gray meet?”

“Umm…”

I was totally unprepared for that question and had no idea how to make we met in prison sound anything but a little nutty.

Maybe because it was a little nutty.

Gray must’ve overheard and seen my face as I tried to figure out an appropriate answer.

“She taught a class I took,” he said with a wink. “I was hot for the teacher.”

We sat around talking for a while. At times, Gray would be in one conversation and I’d be in another with someone else, yet his hand was always across the back of my chair or his thigh pushed up against mine. I loved that he seemed to need to stay connected to me in some way, because I felt the same.

Eventually, a gentleman came over and asked to steal Gray for a few minutes to talk shop. While he was gone, I took the opportunity to find the ladies’ room and freshen up. I fixed my hair, blotted on fresh lipstick, and right before I was about to leave, I decided to actually go to the bathroom before rejoining the party.

I closed myself into the stall and gathered all of the material of my dress to one side before hovering over the toilet in my high heels. I’d heard heels clacking on the tile floor and voices, but didn’t pay any attention as I put myself back together, smoothing my dress back into place. Just as I went to open the lock on the stall, I heard a woman say Gray’s name. I stilled to listen.

“And the woman he brought? She’s an SEC attorney. How convenient. I guess he figures next time he gets caught bilking a client, he’ll have free representation at least.” I recognized the voice as Chelsea—Grant’s daughter, and the same woman who’d been so nice to his face.

The other woman cackled. “Wish I was an attorney. He might be a criminal, but he’s still hot as hell. I’d let him drill me in exchange for some free legal services.”

“My father believes he’s innocent. Can you believe that? Then again, he was also partners with Gray’s father. Maybe he just likes assholes.”

The two of them stuck around for a few more jabs at someone else and then slithered back to the party. I stayed frozen in place, still locked in the stall. That woman had smiled and acted friendly to both our faces. I’d been so consumed with my own thoughts on Gray, I’d never stopped to consider that he’d lost more than just three years of his life.

That time in prison would follow him around forever. People would pretend to move past it, but there’d always be a shadow of suspicion. I’d seen it happen to criminal clients—an innocent man wrongly accused of rape. Even after his name was cleared, people still looked at him funny. There was always a morsel of doubt. Maybe, just maybe, he’d done it and gotten away with it. Only in Gray’s case, not only had he not done it, he hadn’t gotten away with it either, and he’d lost his freedom for years.

I wasn’t quite sure how to handle what I’d just heard. Should I tell him? Could he possibly already know? My instinct told me he had no idea these people were fake and talking about him behind his back. I stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes to collect my thoughts, and then headed back out to the party.

Gray was coming down the hall to the bathroom as I exited.

“There you are. I was about to send out a search party for you.”

I forced a smile. “Sorry. Women take forever in the bathroom.”

He studied my face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Sure,” I lied.

“Dance with me again.” He put his arm around my waist and guided me to walk with him. “It’s the only way I can get my hands on you in public without making a scene.”

Once we were on the floor, I broached the subject of Grant’s daughters to see if he realized they were two-faced assholes. “Grant’s family seems nice.”

“Yeah. Grant was one of the few people who never doubted me when I said I was innocent. And his daughters are great, too.”

My heart ached. God, I hated that he’d done something so admirable to save a woman he’d cared about, and people would forever have doubts. I guess I wasn’t very good at hiding my face.

“You sure everything is okay?”

“Yes, fine.”

There was no point in telling him what I’d overheard at this moment. I’m sure it would just hurt. But realizing people would hesitate about him for a long time made me realize I needed to stop my own hesitation. Either I was in or I was out. It wasn’t fair to him to be like those women.

In that moment, I decided to take a chance—really take a chance. Jump in with both feet.

“How long do we need to stay?” I asked as we swayed on the dance floor.

Gray looked disappointed. “Do you need to get home early?”

“Yes.”

“Work on a Sunday?”

“Well, maybe, but no.”

“Are you not enjoying the party?”

“I’m not really in the mood for a party anymore.”

He pulled his head back. “Would you like to go somewhere else?”

I caught Gray’s eyes and looked into them deeply before gently brushing my lips to his. “Your place.”

Gray froze. He searched my eyes, and I got the feeling he was afraid to believe what I was telling him.

“My place?”

I leaned in and whispered. “What was it you said you wanted to do to me while the sun came up?”

One minute we were on the dance floor, and the next we were heading toward the door. I laughed as I worked to keep up in my heels. Gray was practically running for the exit.

Outside, he rushed to the curb and raised his hand with an ear-splitting whistle, flagging down a passing taxi and whipping the door open for me.

I couldn’t stop laughing. “But we came in your town car.”

“No time to wait for him. Get in.”