YARIS

I wander down the corridor of my memory, dazed and lost. I cannot remember what happened or even what is recent and what is not. I see the same battles over and over again—the day of my great failure, the rabid pursuit of what was left of the rebellion, the dying in the belly of a ship as I fled, and the faces, so many, many faces of those that haunt me.

Who hurt me first? My siblings? My parents? My friends? Their families? I cannot remember. I just feel a low pain in my belly and my back as I fight to surface again and again, longing to escape the horror of my dreams.

I am vaguely aware of our surroundings, small clips of reality grounding me firmly. Pine. The forest. Cedar. Smoke. Magnum carrying me carefully. He and Shatterjaw whispering lowly and me trying to open my mouth and speak before I am suddenly dragged under again, my stomach throbbing as hotly as when I was stabbed. I think I was stabbed. But when? Now? In the past? I do not know. I just know I am missing someone. Someone dear to me. Someone that needs me.

Somewhere between a drunken dream of Azalea and her friends and a visceral memory of my mother, someone enters my mind, and everything stops. Against the backdrop of the southern gardens of the Sunbeam palace, the reds and blues and purples of the flowers and the scent of raw life, Bandit appears. She looks… gray for some reason and desperate, her well put together demeanor completely gone.

"Yaris!" She gasps and reaches for me. "Yaris! Find us!"

I blink slowly, fighting with everything in me to respond .

"What… where?" I gasp.

"We're in—" she glitches and I cannot quite hear her. "—northern—humans."

She gasps and tries gathering herself. She looks at me.

"Fuck, you don't look good."

I snort.

"Thank you," I rub my temples and wonder what to say next. I can barely follow anything.

"Yaris, you must go north. Ruin and I are north. Say it."

She approaches and suddenly grabs me by the shoulders.

"Say it, Yaris, I can't keep this up for long. We are north. Ruin and I are north with the humans."

"You are north," I repeat, trying to cling to something, anything. "You're north."

She pats my cheek.

"Good boy. I don't know if I can see you again. The humans are… upset we're here and they're…" she swallows. "I don't know how long we'll last."

"You're north," I murmur. "Ruin. Oh! Ruin! Is he all right?"

"Yaris, I can't—" she looks panicked as she fades into nothing, and I am thrown into chaos once again.

I wake with a jerk, my agonizing memories and dreams fading as I push them away. I am utterly disoriented, and I am soaked with sweat, a blanket covering me and a cool cloth on my forehead. I take deep, gasping breaths, trying to figure out where I am. I seem to be in a barn of some sort, near some animal stalls. It smells like pine and smoke, and I feel bereft—there is no Ruin close by. I cannot smell him. I also feel like I took a nap mid-afternoon and slept far too long, my body aching and my stomach rolling.

It is dark outside, and someone moves in the corner of my vision. I start to panic, but then see Magnum approaching quickly. His brow is furrowed deeply, and he looks extremely concerned as he kneels beside me .

"Yaris?" He says quietly and I am glad for that. Noise is a little difficult right now. "Are you with me?"

"I…" I swallow and close my eyes for a moment before opening them again. "How long have I…?"

He reaches for a cup and helps me sit up so I can drink, looking so serious that I can hardly bear it.

"Eight days," he finally says. "Bandit healed the stab—sort of—but you caught a fever. We didn't know if…" He sighs and shakes his head, holding me up easily, as if I weigh no more than a doll. "It doesn't matter. You're okay now."

I drink for a few long minutes, until my stomach feels like bursting. Then, I have the sense to stop.

"Shatterjaw? Bandit? Ruin?"

I cannot remember what happened. Just searing black pain and then… nothing.

"Shatterjaw is with the farmer and his wife," Magnum says softly. "She's been negotiating our stay. As for the others… they, uh… sort of disappeared in a hail of magic and power."

I cannot help it. I laugh and he looks at me as if I have gone insane, which… is probably a valid worry at this point.

"Well. You really do not sugar coat things," I snort and an exceedingly small smile makes its way across his handsome face.

"No. I suppose not. Sorry. I don't know how else to say it."

I feel like I am missing something. It is on the tip of my tongue. Magnum looks me over and frowns again.

"You need food. I'll get you some. For the love of demon daddy, don't move."

Magnum lays me back down and I lay on the rickety cot, eyes heavy already. I am panicked about Ruin, but I also know that I cannot panic about Ruin because if I do panic, then I will not get better and we will not be able to leave and go… go…

I sit up abruptly and then groan as Magnum enters with stew and bread, Shatterjaw right behind him. She looks worn to the bone, and she glares at me, putting a lantern on a hook above me. The barn is large enough for us to stay in without tripping over each other, but it is hardly ideal.

But I do not remember there being anything particularly close to the pillar. Our options are limited.

"What are you doing?" She snaps. "Lay down, Yaris."

I shake my head.

"Bandit visited me while I was… dreaming," I blurt, twisting the blankets in my hands. My stomach burns, but I do not care. "She told me they are north. She said the humans in the north have them."

Magnum worries his lip and offers me food.

"How do you know it was her?"

"She was the only grey thing around," I say urgently, tearing into the bread. "It was her and they are north."

"Dream walking," Magnum murmurs to himself. "Of course. That makes sense. That's how her and her spy network communicate."

Shatterjaw nods slowly.

"North is Oscilla. It's a whole different country, but… if that's where they are, they might be near the next pillar."

"Then we go north," I say and look down at my shaky body and pray that it will let me travel. "… after I rest."

"Good idea," Shatterjaw agrees and Magnum nods.

"North," he posits thoughtfully and then huffs. "Guess we'd better get some wool cloaks. I hear it's a bit chilly."