YARIS

Dread curls and settles into my stomach like a stone. This is it. This is when my mate leaves me for… I am not sure, but for something that I have done that is irreparable. I can see that he is angry with me, and it sets my heart pounding like I am about to enter a crucible and I try not to shake.

Fuck. Fuck. This is ridiculous. He would not throw me aside like a dirty rag, right? Right? He is my one and only and—

"Yaris?"

We are in our own small room with a bed, a couch, and a flimsy desk. He has settled his pack on the bed and approaches, looking puzzled. He reaches for me, and I hardly dare to hope.

"Drop your glamour," he says, his eyes swamps of sincerity as he takes my hands in his. "Fuck. You're cold."

I am mute with anxiety and drop our glamours. He breathes a soft sigh of relief and touches my cheek.

"You're very pale," he says and draws me towards the couch, starting the fire with a thought. It is tinged green which tells me he dumped a little extra magic in it. We sit down and he holds my hands gently. He is obviously angry and wants to say… something, but he seems concerned too.

"Do you need food?" He asks me, searching my face. He frowns. "Yaris?"

I withdraw my hands, trying to find words, weighing them like precious gems that glitter in my soul. Ruin waits patiently but looks puzzled.

"If…" I clear my throat. "… if you wish to… end things between us, get on with it."

It is a shaky whisper, full of fear and agony, and I had been hoping to be strong, but I cannot. Not for this.

Ruin looks astonished and blinks a few times.

"What?" He blurts explosively after a moment. "I'm pissed, but certainly not that much. Good gods."

I should be relieved, but for some reason, I am not. I just tense more.

"Yaris," he rubs his face. "Do you know why I'm pissed?"

I shake my head and look at my hands.

"Okay," Ruin shifts. "We're here to talk. Not to… break-up. Not unless… you, uh… want to."

"What?" My head snaps up immediately and I stare in horror. "No! Of course not!"

He smiles tentatively.

"Good. Glad that's out of the way," he watches me for a moment. "Has… anyone ever tried to resolve something with you? Talk something out?"

I think about that for a long moment and then shake my head with a sigh.

"No. I am unsure what that even means. Usually, there is screaming or yelling, hitting or kicking, and then someone leaves and that is that."

A look of horror passes over Ruin's face, and he mumbles something to himself before rubbing his face.

"Okay," he says with a stiff nod. "Right. Uh… I am pissed, but I can be pissed and want to stay with you. It's because I want to stay with you that I want to talk it out, so it doesn't become a problem later."

I do not quite understand that, but all I hear is that he wants me despite whatever way I have hurt him. It makes the weight in my stomach lighten, but anxiety is still hitting me in waves.

"What… what can I do?" I ask, trying not to sound too eager. Ruin looks me over and sighs softly.

"You really thought I was going to break up with you, didn't you?"

He looks sad and I do not like that. I am unsure how to help and cannot take the soulful look he is giving me, so I just look away, my eyes heating sharply.

"Yaris," Gods above, I love my name on his lips, even now. His hands close over mine. "It would take a lot for me to leave you. A… lot. I'm not even sure what would push me towards it. But it wouldn't be this."

I turn and look at him, trying to understand.

"What is ‘this'?"

He sighs softly and searches my face.

"You keep leaving me," he finally offers after a long moment, looking solemn, and that surprises me.

"I… what?" I say, confused. "I do not."

Ruin withdraws and I miss his heat already. He shifts and wrings his hands.

"You do," he says quietly. "We start to talk, it gets heated, and then you walk away or withdraw. Every time something is on your mind, you're silent instead of just… talking to someone. Instead of talking to me. It's like you… you don't want me at all. Or if you do, it's only for good times. Like I'm a fair-weather friend and you aren't serious about me."

He looks away into the fire and I feel burned. It is a sharp criticism, but… somehow, I can tell he is not saying it to hurt me. I think back on all the other lovers I have had and how many times we have ended things, but… was it them leaving or was it me?

Memories flash through me.

Julius snapping at me over meeting his parents and me going silent because I do not wish to snap back, to break someone like my parents. So, I just… leave the room. When I get back, he has left, wanting nothing to do with me. And then there was Reggie—he got upset about something I cannot quite recall, and I left and never came back. Of course, how could I forget Hugh? We argued at a ball and didn't go home together. We never saw each other again.

Fuck. Am I the one leaving people?

"I… I… I…" I do not know how to say it. "… I just do not want to hurt anyone, and it feels like I will explode if I speak so I just… "

Leave like a coward.

"Yaris, it's okay to take a breather," Ruin says gently and worries his lip. "Everyone needs one. But you never follow up, so I never know what's wrong. I… just wish you'd talk to me."

I stare at him for a long moment.

"I know something's bothering you," Ruin says quietly. "You've gotten more and more tense as everything has… moved along. I want to help. Tell me, Yaris. What's wrong?"

I quake at saying anything at all. It feels like if I am honest then…

… then what? When was the last time I told anyone about the inner workings of my very loud mind? And if I cannot be honest with my mate—fuck, I have to tell him— then who do I have?

"Ruin, I—" I feel my face flush as I tear up. "I…" I swallow, trying to get ahold of myself. "I do not know where I belong. I… I know the dragons should come back. They are the only ones able to fix the magic and my people took everything unjustly. The world needs to be put to rights. And… that is all well and good, but… when my people are kicked out, where do I go? I do not belong with them, and I would rather be dead than be near them. The elves will not want me. They never really did. They just… tolerated me. The humans will probably want to set me on fire and dance on my grave, so… where does that leave me? Where do I belong?"

Ruin looks taken aback and watches me for a long moment as I fight tears, looking to him for an answer. He had been leaning back but sits up to his full height and takes my face in his hands.

"Oh, you silly, silly man," he breathes. "You absolute moron."

I sniff, barely daring to hope.

"You belong with me," he declares passionately, his sincerity burning me with the intensity of a thousand, thousand suns. My tears overflow like a swollen river of pain and grief and aching need.

"Ruin, I—" I start, trying not to sob.

"You belong with me, Yaris," he says, giving me no room to doubt him as he strokes my damp cheeks tenderly. "You belong wherever I am. Always."

And then he's crawled into my lap and is kissing me with abandon. I start in surprise and then feel a rush of overwhelming love as he encompasses all of me and becomes a beacon of hope. His hands wander skillfully, soothing me, rubbing trust into me and dismissing anguish as easily as the sun dismisses the night.

He really does want me. All of me.

"Ruin," I moan as he tugs at my clothes, and I shiver. "Ruin. I—I wish…"

"What is it?" Ruin whispers, pausing, the entire weight of his sharp attention on me. I look into his deep green eyes and then at his kiss swollen lips. I am going to ravish him, maybe all night.

"Nothing. It is nothing," I whisper, and he hesitates but then we are kissing again and shedding clothes and nothing else matters. My heart sings as he murmurs "mine, all mine" over and over again, our nudity a melody of heart-stopping proportions as he pulls me to the flimsy bed and then down on top of him. I hover above him, locking him beneath me with passion and reverence. I do not know why he wants me, and I know I do not want him to ever leave me nor I, him.

"I am sorry," I gasp out as he licks his lips and looks at my hard, dusky cock. "Ruin, I—"

"Shhh," he murmurs, and his brilliant green orbs look up at me as he hooks his flexible legs over my shoulder. "Bang now, talk later."

"If the man insists," I say with a choked laugh and kiss him as I summon slick to my fingers and start to work him open. I am enamored with each breath that exits him, each small tensing of his muscles, and when he wraps his legs around my naked waist, I know who really is in charge .

He groans and shudders violently as I find his prostate in one second flat.

"Ohhhhh, fuck," he whines, wonderfully flushed and hard. "Yaris. You're so good at that. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!"

I add a second finger a moment later and I could tease him all night, bringing him to the brink and then back again in languid, addicting waves. He is flushed, stretched out beneath me like a sexed-up god. Does he really want me? Is all his energy right now really for… me?

"Yaris," he pants. "Please. Please. Yaris. Fuck me, darling. Fuck me."

I am unable to resist his pull and withdraw my fingers a moment later, locking lips with him as I ease into him, his heat making me shudder.

"Oh. Fuck," I gasp and brace myself. "Ruin—"

"Yaris!" He moans and I hilt deep inside him. I take his hands and pin them above him, kissing and thrusting. He weakly pushes against me, but I know he is not serious.

"Y-Yaris," he moans deliciously. "Yaris, I—I want…"

"What do you want?" I whisper in his ear.

"… to touch your horns," he gasps, hair damp with sweat, our musk filling the room.

"Wha…" I look at him and huff. "Just… refrain from making me come immediately."

He has a wicked gleam in his eye as I give him his hands and he reaches up, trailing his fingers along the inscriptions that tell tales of my people and their wanderings. They are meant to protect me, but I am hardly thinking about that because Ruin's deft fingers are finding my erogenous areas with quick skill. He brushes along the base, and I muffle a cry as the fire in my belly dips.

"Oh, shit!" I gasp. "Ruin!"

I thrust harder and harder, groaning as he cockily stokes the fire of passion overtaking me. I want to focus on his pleasure, but he is making it impossible to function. Desperate, I grab his weeping cock and the room is filled with the music of our love as we both writhe and curse.

"Godsdammit!" I gasp. "Come, you fucker!"

I can barely stand because I am edging so hard.

He gasps a laugh.

"Y-you first!" He moans and rubs the base of my horns. I can't help it.

I come so hard I see stars and feel the entire fucking universe shift around me. I fill Ruin up as he wails and nuts just as hard. It is at least a minute before I finish and collapse next to him, breathing heavily. Ruin laughs a bit, and I chuckle. It takes a moment for us to settle, and I lay next to Ruin, watching his joy.

"We aren't ever having sex without your horns out again," Ruin says and smirks at me. I laugh and nod.

"As you wish."

He searches my eyes for a moment.

"Yaris. I mean it."

"Hm?"

He sits up a little, leaning on his elbow, and leveling me with an earnest gaze.

"You belong with me. Which means that you should talk to me, okay?" He kisses the tip of my nose. "Just talk to me."

I swallow and nod slowly.

"I… have not the faintest idea how to, but I will try. For you."

He kisses me, this time on the lips and I wonder if I should tell him. Is he ready to be my mate? What does it mean if the most powerful dragon rider in a thousand years is mated to the black sheep of the Fae monarchy?

"Hey," he smiles at me. "Are you hungry? I know you used magic. I can sense it."

"You can sense that?" I gape at him. "Truly?"

He nods.

"Yes. Let's get you fed and then… well, then you'll feed me." He smirks and winks, his meaning plain.

It is going to be a long night, and I could not be more pleased.