RUIN

Yaris is pure magic.

And I don't mean his cock.

Or hands.

Or mouth.

I mean that something is happening with my magic, and I don't know what it is or what it means. Ever since we spoke to Forbearance and Virtue, it's like it's crawling out of me, pushing through my skin and reaching for the world around me, touching everything and everyone. I'm shocked no one else has noticed, but I guess they aren't dragon riders so why would they? Every night, I have intense dreams about the Fae and the dragons, battles millennia old playing out before me and they are terrifyingly magnificent. It's getting easier and easier to fall asleep, but the sleep is never restful.

While I'm awake, I feel the environment around me acutely, like all my senses narrow in on… everything. Everything at once. And that's how I know that Yaris is pure magic—his body vibrates with it. Magnum is magic too, but in a different way. More like an intentional absence but Yaris is pure life.

Everyone is already very stressed and I'm loathe to bring anything like this up. This change is… strange and a little concerning. The last thing I want is to cause a fuss and it's not like my magic is dangerous.

I think?

Shit.

We're on our third morning from the fortress and today we should hit Silverfront, the town at the foot of the mountain. It rests on a lake and has a real inn so we won't be sleeping on the ground at least. But we have to get there first, and I need to wake up to do that. I have to tear myself away as a dragon bites off the head of a Fae soldier in front of me and the rider consumes the vibrant Fae magic with a wish. It's horrifying and I need it to stop. But I can feel Sparks somewhere here. I can feel him every night in these intense dreams. He's searching for me too. I know it. I can feel it as easily as I feel my limbs.

"Sparks?" I shout and dodge a blade. "Sparks? I'm here! I'm here!"

I hear a roar and sense that I must wake up. I have to wake. I have to—

"—Ruin?"

Yaris' hand is on my shoulder, and I jump, entirely spooked. Our tent is alight with mid-morning light and I can more sense, rather than see, Shatterjaw and Magnum at the entrance. It still smells of snow and pine and on top of the sounds of the forest, I can hear the horses moving restlessly.

"Ruin?"

Yaris cups my face as I blink slowly, still hearing the battle, the gore, the screams. It was so vivid that it's hard not to fall back into it again.

"Sweetheart," he strokes my cheek, his false hazel eyes full of worry.

I prefer his pink irises.

"What's wrong?" He asks gently.

What is wrong?

"I'm fine," I mumble and push him away. I don't have the capacity to deal with his concern at the moment. I'm too distracted.

Yaris doesn't move away.

"We tried waking you up earlier and you seemed like you needed more sleep. Do you remember that?" Yaris asks calmly, but there's an underlying tension to him that makes me tense in turn .

"I'm fine, Yaris," I repeat as I sit up. "Just fine."

He bites his lip.

"We can go slower if—"

I snort.

"That's sweet of you, but we really can't," I counter and climb out of my bedroll. "What's for breakfast?"

Yaris rubs his temples.

"Is Sparks okay?" He asks quietly and I start.

"What?" I blurt, taken aback.

"You were… calling for him earlier," Yaris says carefully. "I am just worried about you."

I deflate a little. I'm worried about me too, but we don't have time for this "-life-altering-dragon-rider-senses-with-a-dash-of-hysteria" shit. I grab all my feelings and take a moment to stomp them down, as deep as they'll go. I put my hand on his arm, and he relaxes a little.

"I'm fine," I repeat and smile at him. "Just hungry."

"Very well," Yaris sighs and kisses me on the lips. It's tentative and shy. "Just… be well."

"Yes, sir," I tease and kiss him back. The dreams are fading the more I wake up and I start to feel like myself. That and Yaris' pure magic is entrancing. It pulls me towards him in a way that's foreign to me.

"Come outside," Yaris murmurs. "Shatterjaw has been… irate."

I huff.

"Of course she has," I murmur and get dressed.

When I join everyone outside, Shatterjaw and Magnum are sitting on the ground, both eyeing me. It's with different types of eyeing though. Shatterjaw is eyeing with concern. Magnum looks like he can't decide if he wants to kiss me or tease me. It's a little funny and I sit down next to my prince, chuckling.

"Breakfast?" I ask and Magnum hands me a bowl of porridge with berries. I look at it in surprise. "We had time to make porridge? "

"It's mid-morning and we figured you could use the food," Magnum offers, and I look at him with a frown.

"Did you keep watch again?" I ask and take a bite. Magnum shrugs while Shatterjaw scowls.

"He won't let me watch instead," she says reluctantly.

Magnum rolls his eyes.

"I don't really sleep. It's more like… a strange meditative state. It's fine. We're playing to strengths here, remember?"

"And who decided that?" Shatterjaw huffs and nudges him. Magnum laughs.

"Sorry, I wasn't aware there was a hierarchy around here," Magnum says with that impossible ease of his. "My bad."

Shatterjaw scowls.

"Ruin is Grand Maestro," she insists. "If he doesn't want you watching so much, you shouldn't watch."

"Wait a second," I bite my lip. "I really doubt I'm Grand Maestro anymore, Captain. I'm just a regular bastard now, remember?"

"See, that's what I thought," Magnum says sagely. "You can't murder the crown prince and still be counted as Grand Maestro. Ranks are irrelevant anyway. Or should be. It's all made up rules by a society that doesn't operate in the best interest of everyone."

It's a shocking thing to say, but… I kind of have to agree. Technically, all rules are made up and I've always hated the rules of the upper class and court. They always seemed deeply unnecessary. Shatterjaw looks like she's about to object, but surprisingly, Yaris speaks next, his warm voice low and pleasant.

"Magnum, that is correct. Social order is a collection of fabricated rules in an attempt to control the populace."

Magnum beams at him with the force of a thousand suns.

"You are one attractive prince, Yaris."

Yaris sputters and I laugh at that and try to ignore the fact that my rider senses are telling me that Shatterjaw has a minute amount of magic in her. It's so small that it's useless. Is this normal for everyone? Is everyone a bit magical, but I haven't been able to feel it before now?

And I shouldn't know that, right? This is weird… right?

"Uh, all of that aside, I guess if you don't care, Magnum," I say, trying not to feel very far away from myself. "It's whatever."

"Thank you, Your Worship," Magnum says with a shit eating grin, and I resist the urge to throw my bowl at him.

To his amusement, I throw a berry at his head instead, and he catches it in his mouth with a wink.

Godsdamned demon reflexes.

"What's the plan for today?" I ask as I finish up.

"Reach Silverfront," Shatterjaw says. "We should by nightfall and then we'll head out to the pillar in the morning."

I nod.

"Sounds good," I say, distracted as I feel… something at the edge of my senses. It's hard to describe. There's more magic in the world than I thought and now I'm noticing every little ripple.

It's fucking irritating.

"Ruin?" Yaris takes my hand. "Are you sure you are well? Are you having visions?"

His brow furrows as he kisses my hand.

"No." It's not a lie… right? "Just slept weird."

"Mhm," Yaris says, frowning deeply. "Very well. We should get going."

"Excellent idea," I say with a smile and kiss his perfect cheek. I wish I could see him as he truly is. His Fae form is so beautiful and enamoring that I can't even go an hour without thinking about it.

We all mount our steeds and start down the mountain. It's still relatively steep but the horses are so sure footed that it hardly matters. I just have to stay in the saddle.

Yaris is beside me, as always, with Magnum and Shatterjaw in front. I've been thinking hard about something and when we stop for lunch, I manage to bring it up. I know I've been quiet today and that's worrying everyone, but I can't muster the ability to care too much. We've stopped in a clearing in the late-afternoon, and I turn to Shatterjaw. I know this won't work, but I must try anyway.

"You could flee to Oscilla," I blurt.

Shatterjaw looks surprised—even a little hurt—and does a poor job masking it.

"I… don't want to do that," she says, scowling at me thunderously.

"But we're close enough to the border that you could," I insist. "You could… be free. Of me. And all of… this."

Shatterjaw scoffs and shakes her head, obviously upset.

"Thank you for your concern, Your Grace, but it's not an issue," she assures me. "I want to be here."

I scowl.

"Look, I'm trying to protect you," I insist. "This isn't your fight and you're already in trouble because—"

"—it is my fight," she snaps angrily. "I am Galaen. I have been told of the dragon riders since I was a small child and my people have waited for you for centuries. You can't get rid of me, Ruin. Not now. Not ever. Fuck you for thinking you can."

She looks furious and I feel a stab of guilt.

"Shatterjaw," I swallow. "I'm sorry. I just... think this was more than you bargained for. We're being hunted now and that's my fault for not addressing things sooner, it… you shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes."

"Wow, I didn't know that you dictated the actions of the entire monarchy, Grand Maestro," Shatterjaw says dryly and glares, tightening the tack on her horse harshly, obviously worked up. "It's no more your fault than it is mine. We could spend all day discussing responsibility and the fact would remain that it's my responsibility to protect you and see this through. Period. This isn't up for debate, Your Grace. So stop talking about it."

"Sorry," I mumble and sigh. I knew it was a long shot, but I didn't expect it to sting so much.

I quickly sit on the ground, feeling cranky. I don't dictate what she does anymore—not really. But right now, in this moment, I wish I did.

Because the more I think about it, the more I'm certain I'm about to be responsible for the misery of a lot of people. Obviously, the Fae shouldn't be in charge. Not really. I've heard stories all my life and Yaris' acute silence is enough to tell me they're horrible. But are dragons any better? Are any of us?

And why am I choosing now to have a crisis?

Yaris sits down next to me and offers me a chunk of white cheddar cheese. He starts slicing up an apple and I look at the food forlornly for a moment. I've never liked being in charge of anyone, to be honest. I don't like the responsibility. It's always made me uncomfortable, and it really is what irks me most about being Grand Maestro. Not that it could be helped—after all no one says no to the king and gets away with it.

That perhaps should've been a clue that I would eventually end up in this situation. Not this exact situation—even I couldn't predict it—but in the situation of defiance and sneaking around because I'm public enemy number one.

I'm not good with rigidity.

"Ruin?" Yaris nudges me and I startle.

"Yeah?" I say and stare at him.

"Are you hungry?" His brow furrows in concern. I'm starting to hate that look on him.

"Not really, but I'll eat anyway," I say and start in on the cheese. "How did you do it?"

Yaris cocks his head and Magnum sits down on my other side. I ignore him and all his oozing sexiness.

"Do what?"

"Be a prince. Be in charge of people. It's so exhausting. I'm exhausted by it," I explain and now he looks uncomfortable too.

"Oh," he's quiet for a moment, much too concentrated on very slowly slicing up the apple and I stare at him until he caves. "I… I was born to it, Ruin. I did not have a choice. And I was not in charge of much. I am a spare. My older brothers and sisters took most of the responsibility away from me. But I was in charge of my guard. And a…" He coughs. "A very minor resistance."

Now Magnum is staring at him too, enraptured.

"What?" I gape. "You were some badass resistance fighter, and you didn't tell me? Fuck, Yaris! The possibilities!"

"Wha-what?" Yaris sputters. "What possibilities?"

I lean over and stroke his chin.

"I have a weakness for rebels," I inform him. "And we're already rebelling against the monarchy, but the fact that you were this way even when you were younger—hot. Your hotness factor just went up by at least 10—no, 20!"

He's blushing wildly and looks embarrassed.

"Ruin, I… do not be ridiculous. It was simply the right thing to do," he insists, and I kiss him.

"This is why I lo—like you," I tell him with a kiss, quickly correcting that thought. He doesn't need me being clingy on top of everything else. We don't have time for it.

I clear my throat.

"You do the right thing no matter what," I tell him fondly.

He's quiet for a long moment and I suspect he's about to say something shocking, because he is obviously weighing his words more carefully than a butcher weighs meat.

"It… did not work out," he says hesitantly. "I failed. Horribly. That is why I am… here instead of there. I am not a good measure of success, Ruin."

I frown at that.

"Bullshit. You found me, didn't you? And the rest of us," I assert and smile tentatively at him before popping cheese in my mouth. "That's a good start, Yaris. You found the only remaining dragons and we have a plan. Don't discount your role in that. "

He blushes and looks away, shrugging.

"It is what it is," he says mildly and now Magnum laughs.

"Wow, your self-worth is in the shitter. Never thought I'd meet a humble fae," he says with a grin and Yaris huffs.

"I'm the only Fae you've met."

"Hmm. Not true," Magnum says with a shrug and Yaris stiffens.

"What?" He gapes at him.

"You're not my first, Yaris," Magnum says with a wink. "You're just the first I liked. The last one was… troubling. Forbearance and Virtue refused to meet with them. You're the very first they've liked too in about… a thousand years?"

Yaris looks pained.

"I am sorry for… however they treated you."

"Not your fault, horns," he says with a smile, dismissing it entirely.

I choke on my food and cough out a laugh.

"‘Ho-horns'?" I gasp and laugh some more as Yaris looks offended.

"Oh, it's not a slight," Magnum assures him. "I quite like horns, you know."

I laugh harder and Yaris blushes deeper. Shatterjaw rolls her eyes. Once I have gathered myself, Magnum grins again and smolders at Yaris. Yaris stands up quickly.

"I… need to take a walk," he says quickly and leaves before I can object. Magnum looks genuinely sorry.

"Oh. I didn't mean to upset him," he says with a frown. "I simply wanted to make him less rigid."

"If you can figure out how to do that, let me know," I say with a smile and Shatterjaw nods.

"Me too," she says and I'm glad for her casual tone. Obviously, she isn't holding my earlier words against me. "He's so uptight."

"Hey, that's my boyfriend you're talking about," I tease, and she scowls at me .

"Trust me, I know."

I snort and eat some more.

When Yaris comes back, we're done eating and he finishes quickly before we continue to descend the mountain. I'm quiet again as I watch and feel the magic around me. I've never been more in tune with each magical whisper before and I can only assume it's because I was around Forbearance and Virtue. That must be it. Nothing else makes sense. Being around dragons somehow woke something up in me and I can actually feel Sparks at just the edge of my vision, as if he's really here and watching. Was he always like this and I just couldn't sense it?

I have so many questions for him. Maybe I'll meditate later and—

—we're nearly to the end of the mountain when I start to feel dizzy. The pine trees waver in front of me and I feel ill. I stop my horse and Yaris stops as well.

"Ruin?" Yaris reaches for me. "What is wrong?"

He looks pale as he looks at me and I feel all color drained from my face.

"I'm going to—"

I don't manage to finish. Darkness crashes over me and I feel Yaris' arms around me before all my senses leave me.

? ? ?

When I wake, I know I'm not in the forest anymore or near any of my companions. I lay on a soft sofa in an immaculate room. The floors are made of polished dark wood, and the sofa is a rich green and softer than any sofa I've ever sat on. I sit up carefully, but I'm not panicked. I can feel Sparks somewhere near and I know I'm okay if he's here.

I look at the maps on the wall, though I am unsure of what area they represent. There's a large standing desk in the corner and a man is looking over a well-worn map.

No. That's not just any man. That's Sparks. Somehow, I know it's him despite his human form. He has wavy white hair with sage green highlights and green eyes that are suddenly intensely watching me. He's big—bigger than even Magnum, his presence all-encompassing. He looks somehow ancient, but also has no wrinkles on his dark walnut skin.

I wonder how old he is. It's more of a feeling of age than anything else. He just exudes wisdom and archaic energy.

The study smells like smoke and balsam, and I feel good enough to stand, but I don't want to. I'd rather stay sitting. I watch him carefully. He still hasn't said anything, so I break the silence.

"Sparks?" I ask cautiously.

He snorts and looks at me appraisingly.

"To think," he says with an amused huff. "I bind myself to the most promising rider I've seen in a millennium and your nickname for me is… Sparks ."

His voice is rumbling and powerful, enough to make anyone quake in their boots, but not me. He's too familiar to be scary so I scowl at him.

"I was eight when we bonded. You can hardly blame me," I say and shift. "What am I doing here? Is this a vision? I assume so."

He shrugs.

"Something like that. It's been easier to access you since you saw Forbearance and Virtue."

I nod.

"Is that why I can sense magic more easily now?"

Sparks nods.

"Yes. I'm not able to fully manifest yet and won't be able to until the last pillar is gone, but I can talk to you more clearly now."

I nod slowly and look at the bookshelves lining the room and then the wall of maps.

"Where am I?"

"In my study," Sparks says simply. "It's the only room that hasn't degraded."

"… degraded?" I ask, puzzled.

Sparks sighs, as if this is a great burden to relay .

"I used to live in a palace when we were first banished. Over time, the rooms have shrunk or disappeared entirely. It's the same for every dragon."

"So… you're in a pocket of some sort? A type of realm that degrades with time?" I guess. I don't know much about the other realms of existence, but I know the Fae invaded from another one.

Sparks chuckles.

"This is why I like you, Ruin. You're very intelligent."

I huff, annoyed.

"Yaris is probably shitting himself, so if you could hurry up, that would be great."

Sparks nods.

"I approve of this Fae prince. I've heard of him before. His rebellion was nearly successful."

I want to ask more but it feels wrong so I just shrug.

"He'll tell me when he's ready. What do you want?"

"To warn you," he says grimly. "There's a Fae tracking you."

My stomach drops.

"What? Who?"

"I'm not sure," he says quietly. "Yaris should be able to deal with it and if not him, then you."

"By ‘deal with it,' you mean he'll kill them?" I say bluntly and Sparks nods.

"Yes."

I squirm. I don't want this responsibility but if dragons are as badass as they seem, it might be easier for me to do it.

"Alright. Thank you for the warning," I hesitate. "I have questions for you. About the dreams I'm having. Are they visions or nightmares?"

Sparks looks at the map for a moment.

"Both," he finally says. "Both, Ruin. You need to be prepared."

I don't think there's a way to prepare for all of that destruction and chaos. I swallow nervously .

"You're not going to give me more than that?" I ask quietly. He shakes his head.

"No. I'm sorry. I don't know much myself. My seer ability is fickle at best."

I exhale.

"Okay. Thank you. I hope to see you again soon," I say and mean it.

Sparks nods and everything melts into darkness.