YARIS

"What I don't understand," Shatterjaw says the next morning as we make our way down the mountain, "is why Magnum can't use his portal thingy to get us places."

Magnum snorts. All of us look like humans with various skin tones, eye colors, and hair colors. I tried to make us as inconspicuous as possible, but Magnum must have some sort of power that causes allure because he is still stunning despite me trying to make him look average. He has plain brown hair, muddy eyes, and pale skin, but somehow that doesn't stop him from looking alluring. I really did try to make him look ugly, but it was impossible. He still radiates beauty. Shatterjaw now has pale skin and brown hair with pale blue eyes. It put her in a mood, and I do not blame her. She is not ashamed of her heritage, but, unfortunately, from what I have gathered, she is safer being pale skinned than her usual tone. It is disgusting, but it is true. Ruin has brown hair, a thin face that looks a little mousey, and brown eyes instead of those green orbs that I love so much. For myself, I'm a rather plain looking human, having dropped my elvish glamour entirely. It's too memorable.

Magnum snorts.

"I'm a pretty young demon and I'm only half," he says easily. "My distance isn't that impressive."

Shatterjaw sighs.

"That's unfortunate," she says. "Would've been useful."

Magnum raises an eyebrow.

"It is useful. Just not… uh… in this case."

Shatterjaw shakes her head and chuckles.

"Sorry. I don't doubt your magic. After all, you still look pretty, despite Yaris trying to make you look ugly."

I huff as Magnum laughs.

"I am not trying to make him ugly—simply average. Too ugly or too pretty and people notice."

"Is that why I'm wearing the blandest of clothes?" Shatterjaw asks dryly and I scowl.

"Look, I am trying to make us inconspicuous. If that means bland winter clothes and bland faces, so be it. It is not my fault Magnum is the world's prettiest boy."

Ruin makes an indignant sound that is almost a laugh and Magnum turns slowly to stare at me, a smile working its way across his face. He puts his hand to his chest.

"Yaris. You think I'm pretty?" He says with a catlike grin, and I find myself reddening.

"Whatever," I say weakly, and everyone laughs. It is at my expense, but I am glad for it. Everyone has been too solemn this morning. I have contributed to that. Last night, Ruin and I fucked roughly, and it did me a world of good, but the morning came with it, my dark thoughts.

I cannot stop thinking about my father and his disgusting actions. I always knew he was evil, but this is something else entirely. Did my siblings cry when they realized they were to be sacrificed? Did they fight? Or try to run? Did… it hurt? No, I know it did. Death is very painful, no matter the method, especially for Fae who are supposed to live indefinitely. It is a fantasy to believe otherwise. Did my father regret it? Is that why he drinks like a man dying of thirst? Is that why he hates his other children with a passion?

I do not know. Do I want to know?

I am spiraling again and take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to focus on the environment around me to ground myself. The mountain path is narrow, but not uncomfortably so. There is snow on the ground and in the trees, but it is surprisingly green with pines and firs making up most of the forest. It smells strongly of those trees, and it settles me a bit. The morning is crisp and beautiful, and the stillness somehow settles me further, despite my traitorous thoughts that try to pull me to black depths. Magnum said Frostlight is a few miles down the mountain and hopefully we'll reach there by noon.

"Ruin?" Magnum prompts, pulling me away from my impending spiral.

"Yeah?" Ruin holds my hand in a relaxed manner and looks at Magnum, confused.

"Is your name really ‘Ruin'?" Magnum asks, his mouth twitching in amusement.

"What? Yes. Of course."

My glamour can't hide his blush.

"Your parents had a baby and decided to name it ‘Ruin'?" Magnum asks with a shit eating grin and Ruin huffs.

"No," he says after a long pause and all of us stop to stare at him.

"‘No'?" I say after a moment and Ruin groans.

"It's… what I named myself when my… parents died. It just sort of stuck." His cheeks are a beacon, and I kiss one of them softly.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," I say quietly. "I was Tobiah for centuries."

Magnum makes a face.

"I suppose that's understandable," he concedes. "But it does make me laugh and no wonder. How old were you?"

Ruin bites his lip, and I believe he will not answer. But to my surprise, he does.

"Eight."

There is a very pregnant pause and Magnum looks away.

"Ah," he says softly. "Sorry. I just think it's a funny name."

Ruin shrugs.

"It was a long time ago. I've been without them for so long that it doesn't hurt as much. Besides, my father was… kind of mean and my mother turned a blind eye. They… weren't great people."

He does not elaborate, and he does not need to. The slight shake in his voice is enough to enlighten us all.

Magnum looks pained.

"I'm sorry," he says again. "My parents were good. They were just taken from me."

He does not elaborate either and now everyone feels awkward, which makes me feel especially awkward. But that lessens when Ruin cuddles into my side for comfort. One day, when we are not saving the world, I will ask him about… everything. I long to know everything about him, every bruise and cut, nook and cranny, scar and unseen injury. I am sure he wants the same thing with me, but the thought of telling him anything just makes me clammy and lightheaded. I do not wish to expose any human to the horrors of my selfish, cunning, enraging people, let alone him.

But… he is my mate. Another thing I need to tell him and, yet, I have not. Will I run out of time? Will I ever work up the courage? Are we destined to simply be separate because I do not wish to add anything else to Ruin's plate? What if he hates me, feels trapped when I reveal it to him? Humans treasure their free will like elves treasure their knowledge and Fae their power. Wrapping his head around the fact that he is mine might be too much—especially given what has happened with that dirtbag Miguel.

I suddenly feel weak all over and my mouth goes dry.

"Yaris?" Ruin, ever in tune with me, worries his lip and steadies me. "What's wrong?"

Everything. Nothing. It has to be nothing. We do not have time for this.

"Just… processing," I say vaguely and do not bother looking at him, so I do not see the hurt on his face, the crease in his brow, the sorrow in his eyes.

When we reach Frostlight, it is not really anything more than an outpost. There are several large buildings connected with awnings, so people have a path to walk without having to worry about the muddy snow. Magnum strides in like he owns the place, and I notice people staring at him, despite the glamour. I worried this would happen, but he doesn't seem bothered by it.

The buildings are made of stone and wood, and I notice stables, a smithy, a trading house, a latrine house, a path to hot springs, a bunker building, and the scent of meat drifts to me from across the yard, the last building a barracks of some sort. They seem to be busy, ignoring us for the most part, and Magnum heads to the stables. We follow him in a line and Ruin has withdrawn his hand, which makes me wonder why and frown. Regardless, Magnum approaches the horse master, who is currently speaking to a groom as the groom brushes the thick coat of a small spotted pony. The horse master is an older man with graying hair and sharp blue eyes, and he pauses to look at Magnum. He does not seem enamored though. Just puzzled.

"Can I help ya, son?" He has a jilt to his words—a mountain accent.

Magnum smiles his most winning smile.

"We're in need of some hardy steads."

The man looks over our very average group cautiously.

"Are ya now?"

Magnum nods.

"Yup. We're all pretty good riders. Firm but gentle. Your horses will be in good hands."

"Will they now?" The old man counters, lips twitching. "What's ya name?"

"Andel," Magnum says without skipping a beat. "We're headed south. It's a matter of urgency."

I huff impatiently. Part of me just wants to charm the man into giving us what we need, but that is not exactly subtle and would likely result in too many questions and exposure. Magnum does not seem bothered though. Neither does anyone else. Ruin just looks bored.

Maybe I am just an impatient ass.

"Ah," the man looks disapproving. "Ya with the parties lookin' for the Maestro? "

"What?" Magnum seems taken aback and Shatterjaw is as stiff as a blade. "No."

The man shifts and looks at his horses. He has a lot. Well. A lot for this area. Maybe 18 or 20. They are sturdy mountain horses of various colors and seem to be calm and dependable. He probably makes a lot of money selling them, but I suspect he is picky about who gets them.

"Well, tha's all fine then," the man says. "The Gran' Maestro dun a lot for us common folk. I don't want no partaking in tha nonsense."

Magnum nods while Ruin tries not to gape. I draw him close to me and turn away as Magnum starts to haggle. Shatterjaw tries to shield us from probing eyes as we speak in low tones.

"Are you well?" I ask him softly and he just looks at me, guileless, and nods.

"Yeah," he manages, sounding dazed. "I just didn't know anyone… felt that way about me. I mean, I've tried my best, but—but I hadn't thought anyone noticed."

Shatterjaw turns to scowl at him.

"All due respect, shove it somewhere else, Your—sir. Everyone knows who you are and what you do."

Ruin shifts uncomfortably.

"I just… I don't do anything, really."

"We'll talk about this later," Shatterjaw says firmly and we wait in silence while Magnum somehow charms the pants off the gruff horse master without using any magic at all. A half hour later, we have five horses, each white with gray spots, and all the needed tack. Shatterjaw stays at the stables while we go to the trading house for supplies. We came to Magnum with just the clothes on our backs, so we need to stock up. Some part of me is greatly annoyed that he's paying for everything without a word, but it is not like I have access to my accounts. It is probably my pride. I am used to doing everything alone and it is still an adjustment working with people, let alone people who take care of me .

I hate it.

After an hour of getting weapons, rations, canteens, clothes, tents, and some healing scrolls, we are ready to leave. Magnum insists that we eat at the Great Hall, so we reluctantly go there and I eat some of the most rooty stew I have ever consumed. It is not bad—just different.

Finally, finally, we are off down the trail, two by two, Magnum and Shatterjaw in front, and Ruin and I in the back. The trail is wider, but the plants and smell and snow remain the same. It's mid-afternoon and I doubt we will get very far before we have to make camp, but it is still faster than walking.

"Do you really need the bow?" Ruin asks as Magnum and Shatterjaw discuss some myth about dragons that I was half-listening to.

I shrug and glance at Ruin.

"It is a good back up. I prefer to use magic, but considering that we are attempting to be stealthy, I will use a weapon instead."

Ruin nods and bites his lip.

"Are you a good shot?" He smiles at me and for some reason, I am not sure how to answer him.

"Fair," I concede. "Not as good as my older brother, but fair."

Ruin snorts.

"I'll bet that's Fae for ‘I can outshoot any human around.'"

I raise an eyebrow.

"I said no such thing."

"You're overly modest, dear," Ruin says lightly. "It's not polite to simply tell the truth."

"Uh… perhaps it is how you tell the truth," I say reluctantly. "But I would prefer to be modest anyway. Bragging is so unbecoming."

Ruin giggles at that and I am not sure why.

"Yaris, you really are a lordly prick sometimes."

"I… thank you?" I say, unsure how to respond. Ruin la ughs and smiles at me and that makes my blushing worth it.

"So basically, I've gathered that you're a badass for an old man, but like any ancient being, you like to hide it for whatever reason," he says with a shit-eating grin. I twitch and cannot help but roll my eyes.

"I am truly not all that special," I insist. "Compared to—"

"—nonsense," Ruin interrupts. "Comparison is bullshit. It's about you doing your best, not about whether you are the best."

I scowl at that.

"Easy for you to say, dragon rider," I huff, dissatisfied. He is also an only child. He did not grow up in the shadow of seventeen older siblings.

Ruin snorts and blows me a kiss.

"I said what I said," he insists. "No satisfaction ever came from comparing yourself to others."

"I…" I worry my lip and think about that for a long, silent moment. "Very well. That… might be true."

Ruin laughs at that, the sound rich and warm. I am unsure why, but I feel myself blushing and look away into the trees, trying to gather myself.

"Yaris," Ruin touches my sleeve and I look back at him. His expression is open and genuine. "I'm sorry. I'm not mocking you. I just think it's… it's a little funny that you, a posh Fae lord, can glean any wisdom from me of all people. I'm just a random human who got lucky enough to snag Sparks."

I huff at that.

"I am not posh," I say with some offense. "And you did not get lucky—you earned it, Ruin. Do not tell yourself any differently."

Ruin laughs, amused.

"Yes, I'll tell that to my eight-year-old self."

I scowl at him. Is he really so daft?

"Ruin… Sparks—General Killsyn? Whatever—is a Seer. That is where you get your seeing ability. He saw you as you, fully realized, and chose you. Do not belittle that. You are incredible."

His eyes widen and he stares at me in surprise. We look at each other for a long moment and he seems to be out of words, which is new for him. Shatterjaw and Magnum have gone silent I suspect are listening carefully.

"It's true, Ruin," Shatterjaw suddenly offers. "Sparks—er, the general—saw your potential and liked what he saw. You're amazing. It wasn't random or luck. It was you."

"Shatterjaw would know," Magnum says with a winning grin directed at Ruin. "She's known you the longest, hasn't she?"

Ruin turns a lovely shade of red and sputters, unable to say anything. Magnum laughs at that and Shatterjaw snorts, shaking her head.

"You are boisterous but so shy," she says with a knowing smile and Ruin makes a choking sound.

"All of you, just—just stop," he says desperately. "This is so embarrassing."

My ill mood flees, and I want to lean across the gap and kiss him. He is so completely him.

Later, we settle away from the road and set up camp. The pines and firs still smell incredible, and snow dots the ground, but Ruin uses magic to melt and then dry it so our tents will not be wet. Shatterjaw feeds us some roasted goose with foraged vegetables and Ruin cuddles me as we watch twilight descend and then turn into night. Once he is tired enough, we go to bed, Shatterjaw using the other tent. Magnum is supposed to share it with her, but he insists on keeping watch because his sleep is a fickle thing that he says he does not really need. I do not know enough about demons to fight him on it and neither does anyone else so we just agree that he keeps watch.

For myself, I do wish to sleep, but as I lay there with Ruin, the sounds of the forest and mountain cushioning us, I cannot. I am on fire with sharp pain, abysmal frustration, and biting dread that twists in my gut like a knife. I am still reeling from the actions of my father—how do they get worse the more I learn? —and the all-encompassing horror of the actions of my people. I understand that when the Fae left their realm, it was collapsing, and they were fleeing a magical, environmental disaster. But… why did we not ask for help instead of taking something that was not ours? It makes no sense. It must be because my father has a need to dominate everything in ways that are twisted and disgusting.

Ruin sleeps in my arms easily, but I am too restless to stay this way. Very carefully, I pull away and kiss his cheek quietly. I don my cloak and step out.

The campsite is gently lit by the fire, which has burned down considerably. It does not make a difference to me, though. I can see in the dark quite well and apparently, so can Magnum. He sits at the edge of camp, tossing a dagger into the air absently and then catching it easily before flipping it again and again. His body language is entirely relaxed, as if he does not have a care in the world, but I know enough about fighters to recognize that he is ready for anything. He may look relaxed, but his body is loose in such a way that if anything were to come at him, he would be able to respond with ease.

He turns and glances at me, smiling as he catches the dagger without looking and flips it again without hesitation.

"Hey," he greets quietly. "Everything okay?"

I look into his crimson eyes and nod, swallowing quietly.

"Just having difficulty sleeping," I say softly and Magnum nods.

"Ah. I thought you didn't sleep a lot anyway?"

I decide to wander towards him and then sit down next to him a moment later. I am tall, but he is so broad and tall that I feel dwarfed next to him. I wrap my cloak around myself and shrug.

"It does not come easily to me," I admit. "But that has been the case for so long that I hardly remember what a normal sleeping schedule is like. "

"Ah," Magnum nods and goes back to watching the tree line. "That sucks. But I guess I wouldn't really know—I don't really sleep anyway."

"I have noticed," I say carefully. "I do not know much about demons—not beyond that they bond with humans and… that does not work out well for the humans. No offense."

Magnum laughs.

"None taken," he smiles. "I don't approve of it either. My kind treat humans like disposable trash. Being an anchor is hard on humans—elves too, I think."

I look at him in surprise.

"There are warlock elves?"

Magnum nods, the dagger flipping faster.

"Yes. They live longer than humans, but it still shortens their life spans."

The academic in me is enamored.

"That is fascinating," I say, curiosity spiking. "I wonder what makes the bond so difficult on people."

"I think it's the nature of the magic itself," Magnum says with a shrug. "It takes a lot of effort to bind a demon to a realm that they aren't even supposed to be a part of. It's draining, both passively and actively. But people will do a lot for power."

I think about that.

"I do not think power is the motivation," I offer after a pause and he looks surprised, staring at me, the knife going ever faster and faster.

"Really?" He says, intrigued. "What do you think it is?"

"Security," I say simply, worrying my lip. "I think that people like to make sure they will be safe and taken care of and magic offers a way to do that."

Magnum looks at me, a strange expression on his face before sighing and looking back at the dark tree line.

"Then I hate my people even more for taking advantage of people," he says quietly. I am taken aback.

"You… hate demons? Why?" I ask carefully.

Magnum shoots me a look .

"Why do you hate Fae?"

I blush at that.

"I do not…" I clear my throat. "I do not hate every Fae."

"I don't hate every demon, but you have to admit that the vast majority of them are leeches," Magnum says easily. "Even if humans started it."

I pull my cloak around myself tightly.

"I suppose I do not know very much about warlocks and how the bond between demonic patrons and humans began," I say softly and Magnum shifts, looking into the forest with his sharp red eyes.

"Well, once the dragons were banished, the humans were kind of up shit creek with no paddle," Magnum explains, and I watch the knife spin in the air. There's a cadence to his words that is nearly hypnotic, but I have to wonder if that is simply because he is part-incubus or if he is truly that interesting. "The riders were dying out and the Fae were taking over at an alarming rate. Some humans wouldn't stand for it and there was an elf who showed them how to use the magic outside themselves for summoning circles. Some of the elves approved and others thought it was shitty. Anyway, this elf taught humans how to summon and tie down demons, so the first warlocks came and kicked the Fae and elves back to their continents. Well, not the Fae's continent. It wasn't the Fae continent until their asses were kicked to stay there, in Oracle. And then the elves retreated to their countries and the warlocks who bound the first demons taught other people how to bind. At first, the demons resisted, but soon realized that they could get a kick out of staying here, collaring humans. So instead of the demons fighting the summonings, they started to welcome them and now we have this shitty system where warlocks are run into the ground and die, and demons just do whatever the hell they want."

Magnum is calm and collected as he relays this, but I can see the tick in his jaw. It obviously bothers him. Deeply.

"That is… uh… unfortunate," I say after a long pause. "I was always taught we settled in Oracle because it was the most magical place in the world."

Magnum snorts at that.

"It is, but, trust me, it was not by choice."

There's a long pause and I weigh his words.

"How old are you?" I finally ask and he catches his knife and stills for a moment. Then, he tosses it again and picks up twirling it through the air.

"Does it matter?" He asks quietly and I sigh softly.

"I suppose not."

He glances at me.

"213. Much younger than you, I'd wager."

"How do you know so much about… what things were like?"

"Forbearance and Virtue," Magnum says, looking distant for a long moment. "They taught me a lot."

"Are you worried about them?" I ask and suddenly blush, feeling rude and invasive. "Sorry. You certainly do not have to answer that."

He shrugs.

"I don't mind," he says and starts tossing the knife higher. "Of course, I worry about them, but… they obviously can take care of themselves."

I shrug, not wanting to point out that perhaps they cannot and that is how all the dragons ended up banished, but they have survived this long so that is something.

And maybe I would just be a dick for saying that anyway. No one likes a pessimist.

"So did you…" I clear my throat. "… did you grow up with them?"

Magnum eyes me and frowns.

"Is this an interrogation?" He asks, sounding a bit baffled. My cheeks heat.

"No… no… I just wanted to, uh, make conversation and learn more about you," I say vaguely, turning away.

"Why?" He asks, sounding even more baffled. "It's not like I know anything about you besides that you're some fancy Fae prince with a penchant for trouble."

My head whips around and I gape at him.

"I do not have a penchant for trouble!" I exclaim, perhaps too defensive. "I… I… I just… have a…"

He is laughing. He is trying to hide it, but he is smiling, and his shoulders are shaking. Irritated, I shove him, and he bursts into a snort, somehow managing to keep the knife going.

"Oi!" He snaps, grinning at me. "Watch it. I have a sharp object, you know."

I scowl at that.

"Yeah, by choice," I huff.

"You are so surly," Magnum says with a chuckle, shaking his head. "I love it."

I am unsure what to say to that and we fall quiet, a gentle companionable silence settling between us. His presence is steady and fun in a way that I am not. I want to learn more about him, but I do not know why. He is simply… soothing and I wonder who does that to him.

"So, are you not… used to people?" I ask after some long minutes. That just makes him laugh even more.

" You're asking me this?" He says incredulously. "Really, Yaris. Look in the damn mirror."

"Very well," I say, worrying my lip. "That is a good point. What I mean is… this must be an adjustment for you, working with people when you are used to, uh… dragons."

Magnum shrugs.

"I haven't really thought about it. Just doing what needs to be done."

"Ah," I say vaguely. "But why though?"

"What?" Magnum frowns. "What do you mean?"

I sigh.

"What I mean is that I do not really know you and you are helping us with this impossibly large thing, and I do not know you so I am unsure why. That is all. "

Magnum weighs that for a long moment and catches the knife, holding onto it and then flipping it between his fingers without looking.

"That's fair," he says. "I have no great motives, Yaris. I'm simply a guardian, like my mother was before me and her mother before her and her mother before even her. I just want the world set to rights because that's the way it's supposed to be. Nothing interesting about that, I suppose."

I gaze at his profile for a long moment, and I do not detect any kind of lying.

"I suppose I can believe that," I say finally, softly. "I want the world set to rights too."

He smiles at me crookedly.

"I know," he winks at me. "I know."