YARIS

I must trust Ruin.

I will trust Ruin.

Ruin will take care of me.

I repeat that to myself over and over, staring at the group before me with trepidation. Trusting is very difficult when no one wants you. My family does not want me, my people do not want me, the elves do not want me, and the humans most certainly do not want me. They fear the fae as they should. Whatever dirty trick my father pulled to make himself high king was twisted and nauseated and denied the other races their birthright. It is tragic and this is a very, very bad situation.

Do I take my mate and run? Is that an option? And even if it is, is that what he would want?

I suspect Ruin would rather be with his people than be on the run and that is understandable. So, do I trust him?

Or do I leave?

Ruin looks up at me with such patience and love that my frantic heart slows. For him, I will risk pitchforks and shame. I need to stop running at some point. Maybe that point is now. And maybe I need to be vulnerable.

That has never worked for me before, but I have Ruin now. Maybe… maybe it will work.

Oh, goddess. Save me from hope.

"Tobiah?" Sovereign Lainodola prompts again. "Why are you here?"

I take Ruin's hand and sigh as I drop my glamour. Everyone steps back. That is, everyone but Sovereign Lainodola and Ruin. Ruin grins at me and the sovereign nods.

"You're a Sunbeam, aren't you?" She asks, cocking her head. "That coloring and those horns. That does make you a Sunbeam, no?"

I gape at her and sputter.

"How could you possibly know that?" I blurt, confused. "I thought humans… I thought they did not…"

She laughs and shakes her head.

"Things have been passed down to me," she explains. "We may not live long but we keep good records. If you're the Sunbeam I think you are, you went missing, what… 700 years ago?"

I nod dumbly.

"I am Yaris Sunbeam, Blood-Traitor of Dogwood Keep, Blight Upon Their Heads, 9 th son of the High Fae monarchs and 18 th in line to the throne."

There is no use hiding it anymore and I feel silly spouting titles that are meaningless to me now. They have not meant anything for centuries. I can see the shift though. Ruin looks shocked, but the other humans regard me with a mixture of disgust and awe. I am weary of the disgust. That particular emotion directed my way has been the most harmful over the centuries because one has no issue maiming and killing when they are disgusted.

But Sovereign Lainodola just laughs.

"No wonder your glamour was so good!" She beams at me. "I nearly didn't catch it."

"What?" Shatterjaw says flatly. "You knew?"

Lainodola shrugs.

"I suspected. But no matter. He hasn't harmed anyone. Come. Let us speak over tea."

I am stunned as we make our way back to the central yurt. This is the most welcome I have ever felt after my secret has been revealed. When I first left court—no, it was more like nearly bleeding out and getting by due to sheer stubbornness and rage—I settled with the humans at first. But they soon found out what I am and there were literal pitchforks being used as I was thrown out of town. This continued for a while, until I recovered enough to head to O'trana where I was unlikely to be found out. Elves are less suspicious of fae and are more magical, so I did not have to hide my magic. Yet, even then, I lost many friends over the years.

But never in my entire life have I confessed to being Yaris fucking Sunbeam and then been offered tea like it was any other morning.

On some level, I am relieved as we fill the yurt and I sit on one of the low couches. On another, I am mortified at their lack of caution.

Do they not know how dangerous we are?

Ruin sits down next to me and holds my hand, the shield still up. We likely do not need it, but I cannot deny that it makes me feel safe. Somehow, he knows that and I am grateful.

Sovereign Lainodola pours us tea and sets it before us, but does not ask Ruin to drop the shield. Again, I am grateful, but I am starting to feel like I am being treated like a skittish animal and I am not…

Well, I am not exactly skittish, just…

"Fuck," I mumble and rub my face. This is silly.

"What is it?" Ruin asks, putting a hand on my arm so gently that I barely feel it.

"I am fine. Drop the shield," I say, shaking him off. He looks hurt for a moment and then nods, the shield dissipating. I tremble as I reach forward and sniff the floral tea. It is jasmine and raspberry. Everyone is silent as I drink and I am trying so hard to be brave, but godsdammit, this is awful.

"So," Ruin clears his throat and puts down his cup rather sharply. "Yaris is not here to hurt anyone. He's here to help."

Sovereign Lainodola nods.

"Yes. I know."

I choke on my tea and try to cover it up, but just end up coughing loudly like a graceless moron. It is a full minute before I recover and face them, my cheeks flaming.

"You, uh, know?" Ruin asks, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs.

"Not all Fae are bad, dragon rider. If he was bad, your dragon would have said something already, but there's nothing but deep approval there, no?" She cocks her head. "And you saw his glamour too, I assume. Your dragon knew."

"I didn't…" Ruin looks at me, confused, and then back at her, worrying his ridiculously kissable lip. "What?"

She sighs.

"The rainbow glittering about him. That's his glamour. Your dragon knew."

Ruin flushes, looking both embarrassed and furious.

"I thought that was because he was an elf!"

"Uh… actually, I did not know that either," I admit. "I have not met many humans who can see it and it has never been described so when you said ‘rainbow lord,' I thought you meant my general magic."

"My gods!" Ruin jumps up. "Sparks knew this entire time and he didn't say shit? Gods!"

He tugs at his hair, ruffling it, and I am astonished with this news too. A dragon—an actual dragon—approves of me. Or… is at least neutral.

But why?

Goddess, people are already a mystery to me and now it seems dragons are too.

Ruin keeps mumbling to himself, pacing and working himself up. Sovereign Lainodola tolerates it for a minute or two before telling him to sit down. Ruin sighs dramatically and sits next to me again. This time, he cuddles into me, pouting. I cannot lie. It is rather adorable, and I suddenly feel an urge to kiss him.

But given the look on his face, that is a poor idea.

"Yaris," she turns to me. "I know you don't want to hurt us, and I know you want to help, but I don't know why." She searches my face. "Can you tell me why you are here? Why you are with Ruin?"

I sigh. This again. It is a fair question. It is just one where the answer is unclear to me. I have endless motives, but all of them boil down to one simple fact, a fact that might not convince anyone of my sincerity. I could lie or twist my words, but I am tired of that, and these people deserve a straight answer.

Ruin deserves a straight answer.

"I… it feels right," I say, shifting, unable to really elaborate.

She shows me no quarter and presses further.

"Why?"

I worry my lip and look up at the ceiling, watching the shadows for a long moment.

"Because I grew up in misery and death," I decide and shift my gaze back at her. "Because I grew up being told we were superior when all we did was twist and destroy every beautiful thing in our path. Because I watched my parents break people over and over again, just to satisfy their heinous greed. Because all of that sat with me as I grew and sits with me still. Because I believe the world is a better place with them gone."

Her sharp purple eyes assess me critically and I feel naked before her. I have not confessed that to anyone, possibly ever, and now I just said it to everyone.

I start as Ruin rubs my back gently and he murmurs assurances in my ear. I resist, but then lean back, relaxing into him. Sovereign Lainodola makes a decision and nods.

"Very well," she says lowly. "You will spend one more night here and then we will see how we can help you."

I feel such intense relief that I am dizzy and sway.

"Tobiah!" Ruin says in alarm and steadies me. "Everything okay?"

I offer him a tearful smile.

"Everything is wonderful."