RUIN

Fucking Tobiah had been…

…complicated.

I thought it would be a fling, a passing fancy, and I have difficulty connecting with anyone sexually since being Miguel's plaything. I thought it would distract me enough that I would stop probing Sparks every few minutes, demanding to talk. I thought it would soothe my anxiety for a few minutes, but as I lay on Tobiah's chest, bare and exposed, I'm just… confused.

Being with him was so different than any sexual encounter I've ever had and that's… too much. My magic adored him, wanted to seep into his pores and lay claim. My soul sang as I rode him and my heart flutters when thinking about being with him again.

But it's too much. Everything is too much. I want to curl into a ball and weep, but I know I don't have time for that shit. The longer I avoid the Sovereign, the more unbearable everything will seem. I need to get my shit together and go talk to her again.

I kiss Tobiah's forehead.

"I'll be back," I whisper and untangle myself. I dress quickly and slip out of the yurt. Huffington and Greentree are outside, standing guard. Huffington stands like he means business, eyeing everyone who passes. I don't like that he's on edge and that Greentree seems just as suspicious.

"You two okay?" I ask, frowning. I don't really think we're in any danger—danger of insanity by information overload perhaps, but these people don't seem to want to hurt anyone.

Huffington turns and nods curtly.

"Yes, Your Excellence," he says crisply.

I cock my head.

"I don't think these people want to hurt us. Maybe you should have some tea or something."

Greentree snorts and shakes her head.

"No, thank you, Your Worship. We're okay. You worry too much, my lord."

I shrug.

"I'm going to see the Sovereign," I say. "You stay here and look after Tobiah. I suspect he's in the most danger here."

Huffington nods slowly.

"I believe the captain is with the Sovereign, my lord," he says quietly, and I raise an eyebrow at that.

"Right. Thanks."

I cross the small encampment and Kato, the leader of the warriors who introduced himself earlier, looks up from the central fire to track my movements, but he doesn't say anything. He's quiet, like Shatterjaw is quiet. He also has a sharpness to his gaze that makes me squirm, like she does. His gaze only lasts a moment before he turns to the woman next to him and kisses her softly.

It's a beautiful day in the forest and mid-morning at this point, the birds chatting happily and the light filtering through the trees plays with the forest floor. Rarely have I felt magic so at peace than here and I suddenly wonder about measuring the particles in the area, but that seems… wrong somehow. I should just enjoy it.

I stand outside the Sovereign's yurt and now am clear-headed enough to appreciate the floral and forest designs on the side. I'm certain they tell a story of some sort, but I don't know enough about Galaen art to interpret it. The guard announces me and then waves me in.

Sovereign Lainoloda and Shatterjaw are seated before the fire. Surprisingly, Shatterjaw isn't wearing her armor—just a light, white frock and dark trousers. She sits with a tall back, her hands around her teacup, and starts to stand when I enter, her eyes asking an uncertain question that I don't know how to answer. It smells of flowers and herbal tea, along with the faint scent of venison and rosemary.

The Sovereign stays seated. She's in a pale yellow robe that compliments her.

"Your Worship," Shatterjaw says and I wave her off.

"Don't get up on my account," I say and sit down next to her. Sovereign Lainoloda watches me for a moment and then says something to the guards outside before passing me tea.

"Shaede will get you food," she says after a moment and watches me with those same perceptive eyes that Shatterjaw and Kato have. "Nylana tells me very good things about you."

I look at Shatterjaw in surprise.

"She does?"

Sovereign Lainoloda nods.

"She does. And it is high praise from a Galaen."

I cock my head and think for a moment. I think of Shatterjaw's general attitude, of her praises of my restraint, of her desperation when I ended the fight. She didn't want me to hurt her people.

"Ah," I say, feeling stupid.

The Sovereign raises an eyebrow.

"You didn't know?" She asks.

I shake my head, blushing.

"No, I…" I clear my throat, glancing at my captain. "I knew the captain was southern, what with her coloring, but… I didn't think…"

Shatterjaw smiles, something so rare that I'm taken aback.

"I didn't care for anyone to know, Your Worship," she says softly. "Don't trouble yourself."

I could understand that. Galaens aren't treated well. At all. They're considered superstitious sons of bitches with no real claim to their actual land, which I think is horseshit, but no one ever asks me for a political opinion. My job is to work for the crown and create magical stability where I can, not talk about injustices. Which… I wish I spoke more about those things, but… Miguel just… just…

I swallow and look away, feeling ashamed.

"I'm… sorry," I say after a silence. "I should've… I'm not…"

I don't really have an excuse and Shatterjaw speaks quietly but firmly.

"You are just as trapped as I am, Your Worship," she says softly. "I hold no ill will towards you. If anything, the palace has improved greatly with you around. You can't fix everything."

I scowl at that.

"I'm the Grand Maestro," I insist. "I hate to say it—but I am the most powerful Grand Maestro in the past few hundred years. I should be using that for everyone. Not just some prick on the throne."

Shatterjaw shakes her head.

"Respectfully, no," she says quietly. "You may hold power but you are just one man, Ruin. A young one at that. No one expects you to right every wrong."

I think about that and sigh as a guard enters and passes me a plate of venison with wild rice and roasted golden squash. I pick at it for a moment before responding.

"It's…" I don't want to bitch and moan about this, but I can tell the Sovereign wants to hear it so I nut up and continue. "… a lot of responsibility to be me."

Shatterjaw nods.

"I know, Your Worship," she says softly. "I know."

I start to eat, and everything is so flavorful and different that I devour it quickly. I haven't had a proper meal since Tobiah was shot and I don't want to think of why that is—why my stomach twists every time I think of him hurting and broken.

A few minutes later, I've finished and put down my plate, looking at Sovereign Lainoloda.

"I have questions," I say after a moment.

She nods.

"I thought you might."

I don't know where to start.

"Why do your people keep calling me ‘Vessel'?" I decide to start there.

She sips her tea.

"We have been waiting for someone to bond with a dragon for some time—someone to be a vessel for their wishes and find a way to free them."

I cock my head.

"I'm not Galaen," I say after a pause.

She nods.

"I know. But you are human."

I rub my face.

"What do you mean?"

"Humans and elves are native to this continent," she explains. "You are just as Native as I am. To this world, anyway. The fact that you're not Galaen is moot. The fact that you are a human bonded to a dragon is what counts, not that you're a member of my people."

I suppose I hadn't thought of it that way and just shrug.

"And… Sparks hasn't… he won't…" It's painful to admit but he hasn't said shit to me since I've been here.

Sovereign Lainoloda watches me closely and sets down her tea.

"I… assume he has always been… sparse in his communication?"

I nod, confused as to how she'd know that.

"Yes."

"That is likely because he is in a different realm or being blocked by Fae magic. He likely only communicates when he has the strength to. The fact that you have any access to shared abilities is incredible. I can't say I understand it."

I think for a moment and realize the only pressing question I have.

"And what are you expecting from me?"

It's not accusatory—simply curious. She obviously wants something, and I don't know how to give it to her.

"We want the Fae gone and the dragons back," she says simply. "Just as it should be."

"But… the Fae are… impossibly powerful. You can't expect me to…"

Wage war? Wipe them out? Fuck.

She shakes her head.

"Dragons first. Fae second."

I scratch my head and realize something.

"Is… the lack of dragons what's causing the… magical depletion? Dragons are very magical themselves so…"

Sovereign Lainoloda thinks.

"I… don't know. I am sorry. I simply know what I've been taught and there hasn't been a lot about that aspect passed down through generations. I just know that we need the dragons to come back if we are to survive long term. That's what has been taught to me. I am aware of the depletion of magic, but I have not been able to study it. All I know is that the dragons are vital to the ecosystem that generates life on this world."

I sigh. Great.

"Okay. What now, then?"

And how the hells do I explain this to His Resplendence? Or do I do everything under the guise of helping Tobiah?

Fuck. Tobiah. What will he think of all of this? Laugh it off? Make fun of me?

Even as I think that I know I'm wrong. He wouldn't find this amusing. Not at all.

"Well…" she clears her throat. "We thought you would know."

I gape at her.

"What? Why the hells would I know?"

She raises an eyebrow .

"You're the one with the seer powers, in case you've forgotten. Surely something has come through recently."

I blink at her.

"Well. Yes. A few days ago, I…"

I pause to think of my vision. It had been of one of the handsomest men I'd ever seen in my life sitting alone in a rundown fortress, whittling as animals kept him company. His hair was layered snow white with red eyes that glowed. He was big—easily as large as Pennbrooke, who's a giant over six feet. He wore loose brown trousers and no shirt, highlighting his bronze abs and taut stomach. I concentrate on that, thinking about it. I've seen this place before, but he was a new addition. I get the sense that he was profoundly jaded and lonely, but stayed there because… because…

Maybe because of some duty? I don't know.

"Ruin?" Sovereign Lainoloda prompts, watching me carefully and I'm brought back to the present.

"I thought it was… I thought it didn't have anything to do with me," I say slowly, baffled. Has Sparks been screaming for help this whole time and I've dismissed it like an asshole? Shit.

"What was it?" Sovereign Lainoloda asks quietly and Shatterjaw is extremely intent as I stumble through it, recounting it for them. The Sovereign considers.

"And you've seen this place before? What else can you remember?"

I think for a long moment. My memory is unusually sharp, but sometimes those moments surrounding visions are so muddied that I don't remember anything at all.

"It's in the mountains," I finally say. "I… the range is seven peaks, like His Resplendence's painting in the study. I…" I frown.

"That's a painting of the northern most mountains in Ordesh—the Oscillan-Ordeshian border," Shatterjaw offers. She seems excited. "We Galaens call it the Anaze Mountains. Ordeshians call it the Last Border because it stretches along the entire border, all 700 odd miles." She takes a deep breath. "There are a lot of derelict fortresses along that range from the border wars several hundred years ago. So we have a place to start."

I sigh.

"700 miles is a lot, captain. That narrows it down but… I'm not sure how we're supposed to actually track him."

Sovereign Lainoloda watches me for a moment.

"A lot of Seers are also scryers," she offers after a moment.

I stare.

"I don't know how to scry," I say after a moment, and she smiles wryly.

"Neither do I. But I hear some elves are quite adept at it."

I don't really believe in fate, but weird shit is piling up fast and I deflate.

Guess it's time to go back to Tobiah.