Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Liam

T he morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, striping the room with soft golden lines. My eyes fluttered open, and the first thing I noticed was Jack’s warm body pressed against mine. I held him, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. His steady breaths tickled the back of my hand, and the faintest smile curved his lips. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to ruin this fragile, stolen moment of closeness.

But then I glanced down, and reality hit me like a freight train.

The floor was a battlefield—sex toys scattered everywhere like forgotten soldiers. A massive pink dildo lay discarded next to an almost half-empty jug of lube. My cheeks burned as the memories of the weekend came rushing back. Nine videos in two days. Nine. Was that some kind of record? It had to be.

My body ached in ways I didn’t know it could—a soreness that felt oddly satisfying, like the aftermath of a particularly grueling workout. Except this wasn’t just physical. It was something deeper, something I couldn’t quite name. I’d never felt this way after sex before—not that I’d had a ton of experience—but with Jack, it was different. It wasn’t mechanical. It wasn’t forced. For the first time in my life, it felt… real. Like it mattered.

I shifted slightly, careful not to wake him, and spotted my phone lying next to the jug of lube. I reached out slowly, cringing as the mattress creaked under my weight. My fingers closed around the phone, and I brought it close, squinting at the screen. 5:56 AM. Almost six. Jack needed to get up for work soon.

I sighed and set the phone back down, letting my head sink into the pillow. God, I wished he didn’t have to go. I wished he could stay here all day, wrapped up in this ridiculous little bubble we’d created over the weekend. A bubble where nothing else existed—no jobs, no bills, no expectations. Just us.

But the weekend was over, and reality was waiting to crash down on us like a wave. Jack had made the rules clear from the start: we only did this for the camera. Nothing more. I’d agreed because I thought I could handle it. Because I didn’t want to lose him, not even as a friend. And if this was the only way to keep him close, I’d take it.

The truth, though? I’d insisted on making all those videos, not because we needed the content, but because I didn’t want it to stop. I didn’t want us to stop. But now that I was lying here, holding him in the quiet aftermath, I realized just how much I hated those rules.

I took a deep breath and gave him a gentle shake. “Jack,” I murmured, my voice still rough with sleep. “Time to wake up.”

He stirred, a sleepy grin spreading across his face as his eyes fluttered open. For a second, just a second, I thought he might kiss me. My heart skipped a beat, and I held my breath, waiting… hoping.

But then something shifted in his expression. A shadow passed over his face, and the moment was gone. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Without a word, he got up and walked out of Bradley’s old bedroom.

The ache in my chest was worse than the soreness in my body. I lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. The weekend was over, and we were back to being just friends. Friends who made porn together. Friends with rules.

I closed my eyes and sighed. For a little while, it had felt like more. I just didn’t know how to hold on to it.

The train rattled beneath me as I stared out the window, the Manhattan skyline inching closer with every stop. My stomach churned, not with the nerves I’d expect before a visit to the STD clinic, but because of Jack. He’d been so distant this morning. I couldn’t get the image of his retreating out of my head.

I shifted in my seat, trying to distract myself. Maybe I was overthinking it. But the thought lingered, gnawing at the edges of my mind. I didn’t want to seem clingy. God, the last thing I wanted was to be the Overly Attached Girlfriend meme come to life.

I grinned despite myself, remembering those old Saturday Night Live sketches. The wide, unblinking eyes. The creepy smile. “Where are you going? Who are you texting? I’ll just stay here and stare at you forever,” I muttered under my breath, earning a sideways glance from the woman sitting across from me.

I cleared my throat and looked back out the window.

Chill out, Liam. You’re not that bad. Not yet, anyway.

The train screeched to a halt, and I stood, adjusting my bag over my shoulder. It was almost noon, and the station was packed with people shuffling toward the exits. I wove through the crowd, keeping my head down as I made my way to the street. The air was brisk, an autumn cold that cut through layers of clothing like they weren’t even there.

Jack’s office was a few blocks away, and I walked quickly, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. My mind raced with questions I didn’t have the guts to ask. Would this appointment be awkward? Would Jack keep acting distant? Or was I just reading too much into everything?

I spotted him outside the building, leaning against a lamppost. His coat was open, and his breath fogged in the air as he checked his watch. When he saw me, he gave a small wave, his expression unreadable.

“Hey,” I said as I approached, trying to sound casual. “Ready to get poked and prodded?”

Jack snorted, a hint of a smile breaking through his stoic mask. “Let’s just get this over with.”

I followed him down the street, falling into step beside him. The clinic wasn’t far, but the silence between us stretched longer than the walk. I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets and tried not to think about how badly I wanted to reach out and take his.

The Chelsea Sexual Health Clinic was a squat, nondescript building tucked between a bakery and a nail salon. The glass door chimed softly as we stepped inside, and the warmth was a welcome relief from the cold outside.

Jack walked up to the reception desk and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He glanced back at me, his face pale and tight. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.

I stepped forward, giving the nurse behind the desk a quick smile. “Hi, we have a 12:30 appointment. Names are Liam Murphy and Jack Barrett.”

The nurse was all business, typing rapidly into her computer. “Got it. Take a seat. We’ll call you shortly.”

I turned to Jack, who was already heading for the nearest row of chairs. We sat side by side, and the silence between us grew heavier with each passing second. To distract myself, I pulled out my phone and opened the FantasyFans dashboard. I hesitated before logging in, glancing at Jack out of the corner of my eye.

“Did you upload the videos like you said you would?” I whispered.

Jack’s cheeks flushed pink, and he mumbled, “Yeah.”

I logged in and glanced at our numbers. My heart stopped. Over a thousand subscribers. I nearly dropped my phone. That was way more than enough to cover the rent. Hell, at fifteen bucks per subscriber, this was far more than I would’ve made at my shitty job at SynergyCoin.

I turned to Jack, excitement bubbling in my chest, but before I could say anything, a nurse appeared in the doorway. “Liam and Jack? Follow me.”

Jack gave me a weird look as I practically bounced out of my seat. I couldn’t help it. Between the subscriber count and the relief of finally getting this over with, I felt like I was floating. Jack, on the other hand, looked like he’d just been sentenced to death.

We followed the nurse into a small room with bright white walls and posters about safe sex plastered everywhere. He handed us clipboards with forms to fill out.

“Just some standard questions,” he said, his tone breezy. “Once you’re done, we’ll do the tests. Quick and easy.”

I nodded, trying to focus on the form in front of me, but my mind kept drifting back to the dashboard. Over a thousand subscribers. Rent was more than covered. Hell, we could even buy some new furniture to replace the cheap stuff we’d moved in with. I wanted to tell Jack, to share the good news, but the timing wasn’t right. Not yet.

The nurse returned just as we finished the forms. He gave us each a rapid HIV test—a quick finger prick and a small device that looked like a pregnancy test. “These take about a minute,” he said, setting the devices on the counter.

Jack sat stiffly in his chair, his hands clenched into fists. I reached out and gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. He flinched but didn’t pull away.

The nurse glanced between us, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. “You two are good. I can tell.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I didn’t have time to ask. The timer on the counter beeped, and the nurse held up the devices. “Negative for both of you. Congrats. But before we wrap up here, I need to ask you a few questions. Do either of you have any other sexual partners?”

Jack’s response was immediate, sharp as a snapped rubber band. “No. We don’t.”

The nurse raised a skeptical eyebrow, his lips pulling into a knowing half-smile. “That’s what they all say. Trust me, boys. Get on PrEP. It’s a once-a-day pill that’ll keep you safe if one of you lovebirds strays. Better to be prepared than to deal with regrets later.”

Jack frowned, his jaw tightening. He let out a slow exhale through his nose, like he was trying to keep his cool. “We’re good. But thanks for the advice.” His tone was clipped, and his body language screamed that he was ready to leave.

The nurse didn’t seem phased. He handed us some pamphlets about sexual health and gave us a quick rundown on follow-up testing schedules before sending us on our way. “Take care of each other. And think about PrEP,” he added with a wink before disappearing into the hallway.

Jack was already halfway to the door, muttering something about needing to get back to work. I jogged to keep up, still clutching the papers he’d given us. Once we were outside, the chilly air hit me, but I barely felt it. Energy buzzed under my skin, and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. My steps turned into little hops, and before I knew it, I was practically bouncing down the sidewalk.

Jack glanced over at me, his brow furrowing. “You’ve been acting really happy for someone getting tested for STDs.”

I stopped mid-hop and turned to him, unable to hold it in any longer. “Jack! Over a thousand subscribers!” I practically shouted, thrusting my phone in his direction. The number stared back at me like a neon sign. “That’s over fifteen grand! Look at it! Our money problems are vanishing!”

Jack paused, staring at the screen for a moment. A flicker of a smile crossed his face, but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. He handed the phone back to me and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “That’s great news, Liam. Really. But…” He hesitated, his eyes searching mine. “Do you really want to be a professional porn star?”