Summer Journal

THE CARAVAN—TATE'S HOLIDAY PARK

AUGUST 19, 2010

Well. Think my friendship with Frankie might be over. Not sure how to feel.

Thought without Cora it might go back to how it was. Just me and Frankie in the sun, reading. But Frankie wanted to lie in her room, watch The Simple Life reruns with the sound turned down. I brought her the magic mushrooms I found in the woods to cheer her up but she didn't even glance at them, just stuffed them in her bedside cabinet.

It was so hot in her room, kind of depressing. I said maybe we could go sunbathe by the pool like old times. She went, oh sorry, not up to your requirements? It's not a fucking holiday camp. Go back to the caravan park if that's what you want.

It stung, but I could see she was down. So I said, how about some music? Thought that might cheer her up, change the atmosphere a bit. I could see her iPod on the shelf, plugged into the speakers. I turned it on and the first thing I heard was that creepy old-timey version of a children's nursery song about going into the woods...

The same music I heard the other night in the trees.

The same music that's been playing on a loop in my head, ever since.

My first thought was: that's so weird. Why's she been listening to this?

But then Frankie lunged and snatched it from me, turned it off. And I saw her face and I got it.

I said: the music in the woods... that was you?

She was silent for a bit, like she was deciding what to say. Then she rolled her eyes. All of it was me, Sparrow.

My mind was spinning. All the stuff we found in the woods. I was like, what—but not the thing in the treehouse, though? That dead bird? The symbols on the trees?

Yes, you total cretin. I'm good at stuff like that. It was easy. Granmama gets blood from the butchers for Grandfa's black pudding. Nicked Hugo's tracksuit, stuffed it with straw. Kipling killed that bird, thought it could be a nice touch. Of course the Birds aren't real.

I felt sick. Then angry. Really angry. I still am now. When I think of how scared I was. Was she laughing at me the whole time?

Why? I asked. Why the hell would you do all that?

She shrugged. Ugh, I don't know. Because it was fun? Because I read Legends of Tome and it gave me ideas? Because the twins pissed me off stealing my stash and I wanted to freak them out that someone had set the Birds on them? Because I was bored? Ohmigod. Sooooooooo fucking bored.

Guess she saw my face then.

Yeah, sorry. Even with your thrilling company, Sparrow. But you were a perfect little idiot. You were pissing your pants!

So I know now. What she saw in me. Why she picked me out on the beach that day. To be her gullible little idiot.