CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

GIANNA

I 'm used to luxury . I grew up with an immense amount of wealth and still am surrounded by it every day, but as I step into Connor and Mia's penthouse, my mouth drops open.

The view across Manhattan and Central Park is absolutely stunning.

Mia pulls me in for a hug and I feel her genuine warmth.

"Braxton." Connor shakes his hand.

"Connor. Good to see you," he replies.

Their interaction is stiffer than I was expecting, but then again, I've made assumptions. Braxton never said they were good friends. He passed on his wishes to the man via Mia the night we met.

That was all.

They are business colleagues, that is clear.

"Come in." Connor says to us both. "It's good to meet you, Gianna. Mia has told me a little about you."

"All good things, I'm sure." I smile as we follow him into the spacious living room and a server hands me a glass of champagne.

Cristal.

Braxton takes a glass of dark liquid, which I assume is whisky. Likely Macallan.

I spot a few other people in the room. The friends Mia said they were entertaining. One of the women is pregnant and I feel a pang of jealousy.

Braxton and I have been very irresponsible with the use of condoms in the past few days. His eagerness and our passion make us completely forget.

I took one morning-after pill and will need to go to my doctor to discuss whether I can take it a second time.

I'm sure my parents would lose their minds if I ended up pregnant by another man. The Baldoni family would not accept me then.

I assume.

Or it would be aborted, and I'd have no say.

I place my hand on my stomach, suddenly protective of our child, which doesn't exist.

Probably.

"Of course." Connor laughs in answer to my question.

Mia and I don't know each other well, so she doesn't know all that much about me, but I'm hoping we can be friends. I'm also secretly hoping that by staying close to Mia, if—or rather when—Braxton leaves, he might return.

I could be married by then.

Depending on when he returns.

Would he entertain an affair? Could I get away with one?

"Let's go out onto the balcony. It's a beautiful evening," Mia says.

Braxton stays close to me as we walk outside, and then we are introduced to the others.

"This is Mack and Summer," Mia says. "Mack works for Connor, and Summer is his wife."

"Nice to meet you." I smile at them.

"Braxton," he says, shaking Mack's hand.

So, he doesn't know Connor's friends. Then he must have just done business with him. What kind of business does a man like Braxton do with a wealthy CEO who is in the private security industry—among other things?

Yet again, he's a mystery to me.

At least James did the research. I wouldn't have a clue about these things. I do trust my instincts, though. From the start, I have known he's keeping secrets.

But then the people in my world always do.

"I hear you grew up together," Summer says, sipping from a long, tall glass.

Clear liquid.

"Oh, I'm expecting." She smiles, lifting the glass.

"Congratulations." I return the smile as unexpected jealously washes over me once again. When I glance at Braxton, his jaw is tight, and he's staring into his drink.

Is he worried about me being pregnant?

I quickly glance away as a sense of rejection slices through me. It hurts more than I expect.

To think he wouldn't...

God, I'm losing it.

Why on earth would Braxton Rossi want to have babies with me?

Take me with you.

I should have never said that to him today. I wanted him to say he would. His response wasn't what I wanted to hear, and the emotions have lingered all day.

He's leaving.

I don't know when or why, and I know enough about this world and the men in it to not ask.

Clearing my throat, I ask, "When are you due?"

"Oh, it's only in the early days. This will be my second child, so we're incredibly happy." Summer glances at Mack who looks proud as punch.

"They were childhood sweethearts." Mia leans in. "Isn't that romantic?"

I nod quickly. "Very."

Yet all I feel is envy.

"Whereas I'm just about to burst." Isabella, the very clearly pregnant woman announces.

"Decker." Her partner, or maybe husband, says, and Braxton shakes his hand as I smile at them both.

"We're here." Another female's voice calls out.

When I turn, Braxton steps in closer, placing his hand on my lower back, and we greet the two newcomers.

This man is as enormous as the others, including Braxton and Connor. Jeez, they look like they are soldiers.

Not my father's soldiers.

They could be wearing US military uniforms and look in place. Yet they're dressed in expensive civilian clothing and clearly all good friends.

The men do that man-handshake and the women hug.

I realize Braxton and I have joined a group of very close friends and suddenly wonder why Mia invited us.

"I hope we are not intruding this evening," I say to Mia after being introduced to Nathan and Sienna.

"Not at all." Mia smiles. "It's a great opportunity to both see my friends and introduce you to everyone else."

"God, I need to sit down," Isabella says.

Decker leads her to a seat. "Water or juice?"

"I want champagne." She pouts and I can't help but like her. I would struggle not to drink the delicious golden bubbles myself for nine long months.

"Negative," Decker says. "No one give her alcohol."

"As if we would," Sienna says, plonking down beside her friend.

"Don't trust either of them." Nathan shakes his head.

"One sip. I can have one sip," Isabella groans.

"No," Decker and Mia say together.

I let out a little laugh and glance at Braxton. His eyes dip to mine and I wish I could translate his thoughts. He seems at ease with these people, and I find that quite interesting.

Then again, he's so confident I imagine he would fit in wherever he chose.

"So, Gianna, tell us secrets about Mia from her childhood." Sienna prompts.

Connor adds. "Shall we move inside and eat first? Then Gianna can spill all the dirt."

"Or not," Mia mutters.

We all head to the dining room where servers pour our wine and place delicious baked salmon and fresh green vegetables in front of us. A basket of freshly baked bread is shared around the table.

"Oh, my god I am starving. Remember, I'm eating for two, which means double helpings." Isabella reaches for a second roll.

"That is not what the doctor said." Decker reminds her.

She shrugs. "He doesn't know everything."

"To old and new friends," Connor says, lifting his glass.

"Cheers," Mack says, nodding at the two of us.

Everyone else does the same, and I lift my glass with a smile.

"Thank you for inviting us," Braxton says, lifting his own glass.

As everyone dives into their meals, I glance around the table and wonder what it must be like to have such freedom. To choose the man you marry out of love and compatibility instead of obligation.

Dante and I don't have a choice.

Nor did Adelina and Leo.

Mia is the only person in this room who understands, but she was lucky enough to escape. I remind myself once again she lost her entire family.

Poor Dante, hearing Adelina is engaged will be painful for him.

I still have a few months left before I am to be married, but I'll need every single one of them to get over the gorgeous man I've accidentally begun falling for.

What a stupid world we were born into.

So watching these people live and love so freely is hard to swallow.

"So, tell us about Mia." Isabella grins. "Was she really naughty? Or the proper little princess?"

"Damn it, I was hoping you'd forget." Mia mumbles.

"I'm sure she was very well behaved." Braxton teases and Mia pokes her tongue out.

Connor looks unimpressed by their friendly banter. He might be a billionaire, but he has the aura of any dangerous gangster. Much like Dante, who will one day take over the head of the Baldassare family.

We might have been close once, but when Papa dies, he'll be in charge, and I wonder what kind of leader he will be. I hope he will make changes, but then again, it's not that simple.

If a family shows weakness, it is at risk of being dominated by the others.

I'll be a Baldoni by then. Perhaps it won't matter.

It will.

I love my family.

Despite what we are.

"Well," I start to say, "I don't think I have any secrets. Our worlds are—were in Mia's case—very controlled."

"Very." Mia nods.

"I remember we snuck out with those two cute guards when we were, what? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Oh gosh. At that party at your family estate in the Hamptons?" Mia cries.

"Yeah, we don't need to hear all that." Connor shakes his head as he tosses back his drink.

"Which guards? I'll kill them tomorrow." Braxton growls beside me and everyone looks at him in surprise, then laughs.

It feels forced, but I feel Braxton's hand slide onto my thigh and squeeze, distracting me.

"Joking obviously," he says, taking a sip of his whisky.

I watch Mack study him before continuing with his meal.

"Where did we go?" Mia asks, still going down memory lane. "To the pond?"

I look up. "The Hartsdale Duck Pond? No. I...no. I never took any guys there. It's so beautiful. Not a place to take dumb boys."

"Even in winter," Mia says wistfully, "it is gorgeous."

The Duck Pond was always a special place for me. It still is. I go there when I want peace, making my guards stay a good distance away.

When I was younger, Mama used to take Dante and me so we could feed the ducks. Now, I simply love the space and taking in the peace that only nature can provide.

When you're surrounded with crime and violence—the awareness is always there—it's the simple things in life that you value.

As I grew older, I'd watch couples walking hand in hand, being proposed to, and wonder if that would ever be possible for me.

I know it won't.

But I go there to dream.

To be.

To escape.

"Oh, I love that place. My grandmother used to take us," Isabella says. "We should go. Take the baby."

"Let it be born first," Decker says, then takes a mouthful.

And just like that, I feel my heart crumple when I imagine the two of them walking through my park, pushing a baby.

I want that.

Leo will probably have no interest in being a family beyond celebrating having an heir when I have a boy. Which is expected.

I glance at Braxton and find him frowning. God, what I wouldn't give to read this man's mind.

"What I do remember is when you were learning to ride a bike." I tell Mia.

"You do?" she asks, surprised.

"Yes. Cade was teasing you, so Dante started to push him around and they got into a fight. Your mom got so mad."

Mia blinks at me.

Oh shit.

Her mom died when she was little, and I've just torn off the Band-Aid.

"Mia. I'm sorry," I say, reaching across the table despite it being deep.

She sniffs. "No, it's fine. It's nice to talk about her."

"God, I feel terrible." I shake my head.

"Babe." Isabella puts a hand on her arm and rubs.

"Truly, I'm okay." She sniffs again and smiles at everyone. "You're the only person I know who knew her, Gianna. It's a beautiful memory. I remember Cade being sent to his room. Dante got me riding without the training wheels that day."

"He did!" I gasp. "Yes, I remember. Then your mom brought us lemonades."

Braxton lay his arm along the back of my chair as I turn and smile at him.

"What a gangster life." Connor brushes the back of his hand along his wife's cheek.

Mia holds my gaze for a long moment, and I see the mix of gratitude and pity in her eyes. She's grateful to share our memories, but she also knows what it means to be in my shoes. Her eyes slide to Braxton and then to her husband.

"It's different for the children. I got lucky."

Yes, she did.

My eyes dip into my half-eaten meal, and I lift my glass to my lips. I suddenly feel like crying. Around me, everyone starts another conversation and I tune out.

This will never be my world.

These people will never be my friends.

When I am married, I'll be expected to socialize within the family and my husband's business contacts.

Who was I kidding?

Braxton could never be my lover. He will be completely off limits to me even if he doesn't leave. Soon I'll never be able to see him again.

I console myself with the time I've spent with him. He wanted me for me. He stayed in the country for me despite his business troubles and forged a partnership with my father.

So he could be here with me.

It might not make sense to anyone else, but I love him.

I love Braxton Rossi.