Chapter 9

“Oh.”Percy blinked a few times, seemingly collecting himself. “Reading. Of course. Yes. I can. Uh, when? When did you want to start?”

Albie hadn’t meant to corner him. It just so happened they had this conversation by the wall at the door. He’d not normally stand this close to anyone, but heaven help him...

Percy’s pale skin and pink lips, his big blue eyes, and the prettiest blush he’d ever seen.

On a man, no less.

Albie wanted to touch it.

Oh, how he’d wanted to feel the heat of it under his touch. Percy’s skin, all flushed like that. It reminded Albie of a springtime sunrise.

Poets and painters would create odes to the likes of it.

Albie almost did reach up and run his thumb across Percy’s cheek. He could so easily cup his cheek and tilt his face up for a kiss...

He had to stop himself and take a step back before he did exactly that.

“Tonight,” Albie answered. “If you’re not too tired. It’s been a long day, and Des said you cleaned the bunkhouse and washed some clothes. Then you made dinner, so if you’d rather start tomorrow, that’d be fine as well.”

“Tonight’s fine,” Percy said. “Maybe Des and Robert will be all snored out by the time we’re done.”

Albie smiled at that, then took some of his father’s books and put them on the table. “I worried today that John Bailey was going to hand me something to read or make me sign something that I couldn’t follow,” Albie admitted. “He didn’t, thankfully. I have the receipt for the sale and those numbers were easy enough.”

“But you don’t want to get caught,” Percy said.

Albie nodded. “Right. I don’t want the likes of McAllister knowing my weakness.”

“Makes sense.” He pulled out his seat at the table and Albie took his seat next to him.

It was a rush, sitting this close to him, both leaning in to read the book. A Bible of all things, not something Albie had ever followed closely, but words to read, nonetheless.

Albie dragged each finger across every line, slow and careful, sounding out any words he wasn’t sure of. Percy was patient and kind, encouraging, and gently correcting if Albie made a mistake.

And he’d smile when Albie sounded out a difficult word and got it right.

It made Albie want to get every word right from then on.

“You’re doing really great,” Percy said.

“Well, I’m sure I’m not, but thanks.” Albie sighed, marked the page, and closed the book. “I do appreciate your help and not saying anything to the others...”

Percy gave a small nod. “Just so you know, what you said before,” he said quietly. “It’s not a weakness. Not being able to read. It’s not a weakness, Albie. It’s just that some folks aren’t spared the opportunity. There’s a difference.”

That made Albie smile. Percy was so thoughtful, choosing his words carefully when many men didn’t care. “True. After my mother died, I’d spend my days outside with no objections from my father. He was so busy, and he did try and make me read at night, but I wasn’t interested. I should have listened.”

Percy smiled sadly. “If I was given the choice to spend my days outside with the animals and exploring instead of being forced into a school desk, I’d have done the exact same.”

Albie wasn’t sure he should ask, but he was so curious. “Were your parents strict?”

“Oh, yes.” His smile turned wry. “I caught the end of a belt many times.”

“I’m sorry.” Albie wasn’t sure what else he could say.

“My parents are...” Percy frowned. “I was born into opportunity and privilege, and I’m grateful to an extent. But when I hear you speak of your father, with such admiration and love, I realise how vastly different we are. My father is more like McAllister.”

“You said he lost a lot of money.”

Percy nodded. “It was my mother’s family that had money, sheep graziers and the like. My father never felt adequate—I’m sure my grandfather made it known—so when he’d heard of men making a fortune in the goldfields, he...”

“Gold?”

Percy sighed. “Gold fever got hold of him and it almost ruined him. They almost lost the farm. My mother’s father bailed him out of trouble, but he tried to save face by securing a deal with a new business partner.”

“By you marrying their daughter.”

Percy nodded sadly. “Yes.”

Albie sighed. He wanted to touch Percy. To hold his hand, to rub his shoulder, but he stopped himself and his hand burned with the loss of it.

“Do you miss them?”

Percy looked across the room, but Albie could only guess he was seeing memories in his mind. “Yes, and no. I miss them, of course. I miss my brothers and sisters, but I don’t miss what they insisted I become.”

Albie knew parents arranged marriages all the time. It wasn’t uncommon that they pushed courtships to see if romance blossomed. But what did Percy say?

It was no more than a business deal and I wanted no part of it. I would never marry someone I didn’t love... couldn’t ever love... my dreams are not filled with the likes of her.

And Albie had dared to ask what his dreams looked like. Perhaps they matched his own. And from the flicker of knowing and the flash of fear, Albie was certain of it.

And then Percy had said something that tilted Albie’s whole world.

If I had to choose between her bed and yours, I would choose yours.

The way he’d looked at Albie’s mouth, into his eyes... exposed and vulnerable.

Honest.

But then he’d retreated and had told him several times since that he appreciated his job, that he needed this job, fearful that Albie would fire him.

Albie would do no such thing.

In fact, Albie wanted to do the opposite.

He was desperate to know. Desperate to hope...

“I should get going,” Percy said, standing up, his chair scraping the floor.

“Wait,” Albie said, not sure what words would follow. He licked his lips and got to his feet. “Can we do this again tomorrow night?”

Percy wouldn’t look at him, but he gave a nod. “Of course.” He went to get his coat, so Albie followed him to the door.

“Look, Percy, I—” Percy opened his mouth to say something, but Albie raised his hand to stop him. “Please, let me say this.” He tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry, so he licked his lips again. “You don’t need to worry about your job here. You’ve more than proved yourself. I wouldn’t turn you out over anything you’ve told me in confidence.”

Percy’s big eyes were so full of fear. His breaths were short and sharp.

“What you told me this morning in confidence,” Albie murmured, “stays with me.” He took a deep breath. “And I would hope that if I told you the same, you’d keep it to yourself.”

Percy’s eyes darted between Albie’s, confused, searching for understanding. “Wh-what?”

Albie almost felt sick with nerves, and he wondered if his heart could physically stop from having a conversation such as this.

“Is this how you felt this morning?” Albie asked, putting his hand to his forehead, trying to breathe. “Because, oh boy.”

“Are you ill?” Percy asked, concerned. Confused.

Albie barked out a laugh. “Uh, not really. I’ve never had anyone on this farm my own age, much less a man...” He wasn’t sure how he managed to speak. “A man such as yourself.”

Percy gasped, his voice barely a breath. “Such as...? What do you mean, such as myself?”

“Beautiful,” Albie whispered, his head swimming. “You’re beautiful. And inclined to choose the bed of a man over that of a woman.”

Percy’s nostrils flared and he paled. His chest was heaving, irregular breaths, panicked.

It was a reaction Albie could relate to. This was the most intimate of secrets, and not one he thought he could ever share.

Until Percy.

Until Percy told him he’d choose Albie’s bed over that of a woman’s.

Albie had barely been able to think of anything else.

He put his hand over Percy’s heart, his skin warm. “Breathe,” he whispered, and Percy took a deep breath in, his cheeks flushed red. “Is that what you meant when you said that?” Albie asked quietly. “I’ve never met anyone who is inclined such as me, so forgive me if I...”

If I what?

Overstep?

Too late for that.

Percy blinked rapidly, still breathing hard. “I’m not... I’m not sure what... Albie, I...”

He looked stricken and torn, but then his eyes filled with tears and his chin wobbled. And he nodded.

And Albie did the only thing that felt right.

He pulled him into his arms and held him tight.

Percy was rigid, scared, until Albie rubbed his back. Then Percy relaxed into him, the tension melting away with each breath he took.

As if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“I tried not to be,” Percy mumbled into Albie’s chest.

“As did I,” Albie agreed gently. “I spent days off in the mountains on my own trying to make sense of it. I knew deep in my bones that my heart never wanted a woman.”

Percy pulled back then, looking up at Albie. He had tears running down his cheeks, his blue eyes disbelieving. “Is what you’re saying true?”

Albie nodded.

Percy began to cry again. “I never thought I’d ever meet someone like me. I never thought I’d ever tell anyone. No one can know, Albie. It’d be the end of me?—”

“Hey,” Albie murmured. “We’re keeping this secret together, yes? Our secret is the same, is it not?”

Percy nodded and he began to cry again, scrubbing his shirtsleeve across his cheeks. “I tried not to be like this,” he murmured. “And I need this job, Albie. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

Albie cupped Percy’s face, wiping away another tear. His skin was warm and alabaster white; his lips were pink and parted just so...

“I told you before your job is safe here,” he murmured, unable to drag his eyes from Percy’s lips.

Oh, how he wanted to kiss him.

“Have you ever been kissed?” Albie asked, his voice barely a breath.

Percy gave the slightest shake of his head. “I kissed Emily Phillips’ cheek once.”

“Lucky Emily Phillips,” Albie mumbled with a smile.

“It was terrible.”

Albie chuckled at that. They were so close now, chests almost touching, and Albie’s heart was thundering, every bone in his body buzzing. And yet, he was still struck by how beautiful Percy was. Even more so up this close. He had flecks of sapphire in his eyes and a faint spray of freckles on his nose.

But those lips... those pink lips would be the death of Albie, he was certain of it.

“I sure would like to kiss you right now,” Albie whispered, leaning in closer, almost touching.

Percy gasped and his cheeks flushed the most beautiful shade of crimson.

“So beautiful,” Albie murmured before he brushed his lips against Percy’s. He’d never kissed anyone before, not outside of a dream, anyway. And he trembled with the excitement, the nerves. The thrill of it.

He pulled back, lightheaded and giddy. “Was that fine with you?”

Percy’s eyes swam, and he slow-blinked as he nodded. A whole palette of pinks spread across his cheeks, and it stole Albie’s breath.

He traced his thumb across the warmth of Percy’s cheekbone to see if it felt as warm as it looked.

It did, and Albie’s heart squeezed. He had no words to describe how he felt in that moment or how utterly mesmerising Percy was. So instead, he lifted Percy’s chin and kissed him again.

A little harder this time, daring to capture Percy’s lips between his and opening their mouths just a little.

Enough to make Albie’s pulse quicken, and he was almost overcome with the need to push Percy against the wall with his body, to feel every inch of him and devour his mouth, taste his tongue...

He pulled back abruptly, startled by his desire. How he even knew to do such things was beyond him, but his body somehow, most definitely, knew.

“Whew,” he said, letting out a rush of air. He laughed at himself, licking the corner of his mouth. “I think I should stop before I’m unable to.”

Percy slow-blinked again, his eyes dazed. “Oh,” he said, breathless. Then he smiled and laughed. “Wow. Kissing Emily’s cheek was never like that.” He put his hand to his heart, and Albie put a hand to his own chest.

“You feel that too?”

Percy laughed and grabbed Albie’s hand, sliding it over his breastbone. Then he stopped as if just realising what he’d done.

But Albie kept his hand right where it was. “I can feel it,” he murmured.

Percy ducked his head. “I should go.”

The last thing in the world Albie wanted at that moment was for this to end, but he knew Percy was right.

“Here, let me help you,” he said, taking Percy’s coat. He helped him into it, pulling the collar up for him. “Stay warm.”

Percy gave a nod and slipped out the door into the dark. The wind was biting, carrying sleet in fierce flurries. When Percy disappeared off the end of the veranda, Albie closed the door and rested his forehead against the frame.

He took a moment to catch his breath, his heart still thundering.

He smiled, the risks and threat of Hell be damned.

This was a source of happiness, true happiness. The likes he’d never known, never dreamed possible.

And when he climbed into his bed, the sheets cold at first, he wished Percy was there with him. They could sleep like they had the night before, wrapped around each other, keeping each other warm.

Only now he could kiss him, and perhaps one day strip away their clothes and their inhibitions.

He fell asleep smiling, the glow of heat in his chest, the glow of something wonderful warming him all night long.

* * *

Albie was surprisedto see Percy up so early. He knocked on the back door and came inside with his hat full of eggs. His nose was red, his hair tousled by the wind, and he quickly stopped when he saw Albie.

He froze, then ducked his head, smiling, blushing.

“Oh,” he said. “I wasn’t sure what time I should... be here.” He met Albie’s gaze then, and Albie could see he was tired—dark circles under his eyes.

“You didn’t sleep well again,” Albie said. It wasn’t a question.

“I’ll be fine,” he said, his piercing gaze meeting Albie’s again. His eyes locked in on Albie like a key and turned Albie’s belly to butterflies. “I’m still cooking breakfast, right?”

Right. Breakfast.

“Uh, yes, right.” Albie took the pot and put it on the stove, unsure if he should mention last night, not wanting it to slip past him. “Look, uh,” he began. “I just want you to know, about last night.” But then he saw fear in Percy’s eyes again, and it hurt to see. He put one hand on his arm, and he reached up to fix his wayward hair. Such an intimate thing to do, and Percy looked up at him with those big blue eyes, and Albie lost his resolve. “I don’t regret it if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t wondering that,” Percy whispered. “Should I have wondered that?”

Albie couldn’t resist skimming the back of his fingers along Percy’s jaw. “No. In fact, I’d like to do it again.”

He wasn’t sure where his bravado came from. He just couldn’t bear to see the fear and uncertainty in Percy’s eyes.

“Oh,” Percy breathed. He blinked, dazed, and licked his lips. “You say such things that make me feel weak.”

Albie laughed. “Your eyes make me weak,” he said, scanning the depths of blue. Then his gaze drew down to his mouth. “Your lips... Heaven have mercy, your lips.”

And then, right there in his kitchen, he lifted Percy’s chin and kissed him again. Soft and sweet, his heart fluttering, his whole body alive.

Until Percy seemingly forgot he was holding a hat full of eggs and one toppled out and splatted on the floor.

“Oh!” He shot back a step. “Goodness.”

Albie laughed and took the hat full of eggs. “I better take these.”

“I should clean that up,” Percy said. “What a waste. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Albie said, bending to help him scoop up the mess on the floor. Albie wiped an old rag through it, and when he looked up, Percy was looking at him, his cupped hands full of broken shell.

And they both laughed.

“It was worth the egg,” Albie said, putting it in the scraps bin for him.

Percy laughed again, his cheeks a glorious pink. “You talk as if you say these things all the time,” he said quietly. “I’m not used to hearing it, and I’m certain no one should overhear you say such things to me.”

“You make me braver than I’ve ever been,” Albie said. He felt foolish for saying that, but it was the truth. “But you’re right,” he added, standing up. “I would never dare utter such things in the company of others. But when it’s just you and me...” He smiled, embarrassed to admit this out loud. “I barely slept last night. I was so excited, nervous, and happy. I couldn’t think of anything else but you.”

Percy’s smile was rueful. “I barely slept because of the snoring in my quarters. I was hoping I’d be used to it by now.” He frowned, eyebrows knitting. “The night we slept at the hotel, in town, was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in so long.” He turned to the pot on the stove and looked inside it. It was empty, so he reached for the sack of oats. “I’m sure it’ll pass. I’ll sleep if I’m tired enough. Or maybe the stable might be better. There’s a loft for the hay that wouldn’t be so bad.”

There he went again, mentioning sleeping in a barn.

“You can sleep with me,” Albie said.

Percy went wide-eyed and his blush darkened. “Oh, I... I didn’t... uh...”

Albie hadn’t realised how that sounded, or what he’d just offered. “I mean, you can sleep in the main house with me, not my bed. My father’s room sits empty. I had no reason to take it until now, but I can if we need it. You can have my room.” He swallowed hard, nervously feeling the need to explain. “It’d make sense if you’ll be tending to meals and such, and if you’ll be helping me with reading until late. So you don’t have to cut across the yard when it’s so bitter outside.”

And then we can kiss again.

And maybe more...

Percy looked up at him, trying not to smile. “Are your motives pure, Albie Bramwell?”

Albie put his hand to his heart and lied. “Absolutely.”

Percy saw right through him and laughed. “I’ll consider it.” He scooped out a cup of oats and put them into the pot. “It didn’t help that my mind ran all night,” he murmured. “Remembering my first kiss and how it felt.”

A jolt of something hot and wonderful ran through Albie’s whole body, and it made him laugh. “I want to do it again. I want to do nothing else.” He shook his head, incredulous. “I fear you’ve awoken something in me.”

Percy smiled at him, shyly, the colour on his cheeks rosy, and heaven help him, Albie needed to touch it again.

He found himself closing the distance between them once more, this time pushing Percy’s backside against the shelf, their faces impossibly close. He saw nothing but deep blue eyes, pink cheeks, and faint freckles. “Percy,” he whispered.

This time it was Percy who slid his hand around Albie’s neck and brought his face down for a kiss. But this was a different kiss... It wasn’t so gentle, and they opened their mouths, breathing each other in. Percy slid his arms around Albie’s waist, pulling him closer still.

Their tongues touched, and Albie’s knees damned near buckled. His blood was on fire, and he needed to be closer, closer. He pressed up against him, pushing him against the shelf, and when their bodies met, when he felt Percy’s arousal against his, they both gasped.

And froze.

Albie was so stunned, so incredibly aroused, he couldn’t think straight.

Percy stepped aside, quickly turning away, running his hand in his hair. Albie had never felt so alive, yet Percy clearly didn’t feel that way. He looked scared and conflicted.

Was it too much?

Perhaps.

He put a gentle hand on Percy’s shoulder.

“I should go check on the newborn calf,” Albie said quietly.

Percy nodded, not turning around. “Y-yes. Right. Good.”

Albie knew he should give Percy some space, some time to think about what had just happened, and some distance so they could both simmer down. But he didn’t want this to go unsaid. “For what it’s worth,” he whispered. “I’m glad you feel the same.”

He left then, pulling his coat from the rack and putting it on as he strode across the veranda. He cleared the yard in a few long strides and went into the stables. The frigid air soon took care of the arousal issue.

The horses were quiet, and the cow was standing at the back of the pen. Albie’s heart quickly sank, certain he’d find the newborn calf lying lifeless.

But then a little white face peered out from behind his mother, and Albie grinned, flooded with relief.

“Ay, little one,” he said.

Then Des came through the doors. “How’d he fare? Any good, or no?”

Albie was sure his smile was answer enough. “Come take a look.”

Des walked in, his leg stiff as it often was first thing in the mornings. And he smiled too when he saw the little calf. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“A day or two in here should see him right,” Albie said.

“Hopefully we’ll have no more early arrivals. It’s too bleedin’ cold.”

It sure was.

“I saw Percy’s bed was empty again,” Des said.

Albie played it cool. “Ah, yeah. The eggs are collected, the dogs are fed, and he’s made a start on breakfast.”

He made a face. “Guess the snoring’s pretty bad, huh?”

Albie gave him a tight smile and decided to just put it out there. “Yeah. About that. I told him he could sleep in the main house tonight.”

Des’s gaze shot to Albie’s, so Albie quickly explained. “He said he’ll start sleeping in the loft,” Albie said, pointing up to the mezzanine for dry hay. “I can’t have any of my men bunking in with the animals in the barn, Des.” Then he shrugged. “And I was thinking maybe it was time I moved into my father’s room. That’ll give Percy my room. No hard feelings, I hope. It’s just that he hasn’t slept more than a few winks in a week, and he’s trying to work hard to prove himself, doing too many things. He’s gonna cause himself an injury if he’s not thinkin’ right.”

Des nodded. “I get it. ’S okay. You don’t need to explain any decision you make, Albie. You’re the boss now.”

Albie almost smiled. “That may be so, but you deserve the respect to hear it from me.”

And that made him realise something else.

“And speaking of that,” Albie said quietly. “I wasn’t going to say anything because it’s not something I want known, but Percy’s also helping me with my reading. I never spared the time for it as a kid, and to have the likes of McAllister handing me letters and John Bailey writing receipts, I need to be better prepared. I don’t trust any of ’em.” He shook his head. “I thought I had time to learn better before I had to worry about that kinda stuff, ya know? Remember all those times my father told me to open a book and I ran off on a horse instead, didn’t come home till sundown.” Albie smiled then. “I should have listened.”

Des chuckled. “You woulda been too busy kicking and screamin’ to learn anything.”

Albie snorted. “True.”

Bandit came over to the gate, so Des gave him a scratch on the forehead. “Percy’s got himself a good horse. We’ll get him in and around the cattle this week, see how he holds up.”

“Good idea.”

“Robert said Percy did well taking the cattle to town. Being on Minnie woulda helped, but he held his own.”

“He did.”

Des sighed. “I’m glad you got someone around here your own age, Albie,” he said. “Be good for ya for a change. Sure, you gotta be the boss but you can live a little too. It’s good to see ya smile.”

If only he knew...

Albie willed himself not to blush or give himself away.

Thankfully Des seemed oblivious. “And Robert tells me Percy stood beside you when folks around town decided to try it on ya.”

“He did. First time was before I even hired him.”

“Good.” Des nodded slowly. “And Robert also tells me he’s terrible at cards.”

Albie laughed. “He’s about as good as me.”

“So, terrible.”

“Exactly.”

“Makes a bloody good damper though.”

Albie had to agree. “Should we go in and see how breakfast is looking?”

Des gave a nod and they walked back to the house, and they soon got their answer.

He made porridge like he played cards.

It was a grey, gloopy gruel. Lumpy too. When Percy sat down, all four of them looked at their plates in silence.

Des was the bravest, taking a mouthful first. His look of curious horror made Albie laugh, and Robert grinned... until he tasted it.

“Tell me,” Albie said. “Have you ever made porridge before?”

Percy shook his head. “Uh, no.”

He looked a little embarrassed, so Albie knocked his knee to his under the table. He gave him a reassuring smile before taking his first spoonful.

It was... not good. But to everyone’s credit, or perhaps more of a testament to their hunger, they ate it, washing it down with a lot of tea.

“So,” Robert said. “If I can make a suggestion. While I appreciate any food the good Lord puts on this here table, I’d appreciate it a whole lot more if maybe Albie cooked breakfast and Percy cooked dinner.”

Des laughed, and even Albie chuckled. He knocked his knee to Percy’s again, and when Percy looked up at him, he relented a smile. “It was pretty bad, wasn’t it?”

“It was fine,” Albie said.

If fine was terrible, that is.

“So,” Des said, changing the subject. “Robert and I will go bring in the yearlings, then this afternoon, we can put Bandit in with them, see how he goes. Start getting him used to cattle.” He looked right at Percy. “How does that sound?”

Percy glanced at Albie as if seeking permission. “Uh, sure! That sounds great.”

Albie gave a nod. “That’ll give me and Percy time to clean up here and change bedrooms.”

Percy shot Albie a wild look as if he would dare say that in front of Des and Robert. Albie looked at Robert and explained, “I’ve decided I should take my father’s bedroom. There’s more room and a desk for me, now I’ll be doing the books. Then Percy will take my old room so he can actually manage to get some sleep.”

Percy was back to being horrified. “Oh, it’s just that... I don’t mind, it’s no problem. I didn’t mean to?—”

“Percy, it’s fine,” Des said. “I know Robert’s snoring is bad.”

Robert gasped and turned to Des. “You’re the one who snores the worst!”

Albie snorted, giving Percy’s knee another knock under the table.

“Actually, you’re both as bad as each other,” Percy said, grimacing. “It’s like having competing logging teams at opposite ends of the room.” He grimaced again. “For eight solid hours.”

Albie laughed, and both Des and Robert quit arguing, admonished even. But eventually, Des fought a smile. “Well, we better get started. We’ll be heading to the western range,” he told Albie. “Shouldn’t be longer than two o’clock.”

“Okay,” Albie said. “I’ll have lunch waiting.”

Des and Robert left and Percy began clearing away breakfast. Albie helped and came to stand beside him at the counter. “I told Des about you taking my room,” Albie said quietly. “Like I told him about you helping me with reading. It didn’t feel right keeping that from him, should he wonder why we might spend time together. I don’t know if he’ll tell Robert. I suspect not. I’ve known Des most of my life, and he’s a good man.”

“Will you tell him about—” Percy turned to look at the pantry. “—about other things.”

“About us?” Albie almost laughed. “Oh, heavens no. Just as I assumed my father never told any staff about his personal doings, I don’t expect private matters made into public discussion.” He shrugged. “Reasons for your spending time in here helping me and not out there doing chores is a matter for Des to know. What we do when it’s just us, that’s no one’s concern but ours.”

Percy gave a nod, still not really meeting Albie’s gaze.

“Can I ask you something?” Albie’s stomach was suddenly soured, and it had nothing to do with the terrible porridge.

Percy stilled. “Yes. Of course.”

“Are you comfortable with me?”

Percy’s eyes shot to his then. “Yes, why would you ask that?”

“I mean, comfortable with taking my room. Comfortable with me kissing you. You need to tell me if I overstepped. I don’t want you to feel you have to oblige me in such things to keep your job. That’s not how this works. If you’d rather take a step back, I will understand.”

He’d be devastated, but he’d understand.

“Your job remains. The offer of my old room remains,” Albie added. “No pressure for anything more.”

Percy opened his mouth to say something but decided on a shy smile instead. “I’m not adept at talking about such things. Don’t take my inexperience as reluctance, Albie. What I lack in confidence...” He shook his head. “I’ve never been shy about anything in my whole life. Until you. You look at me a certain way and I...” He met Albie’s eyes then. “I lose the ability to speak, to think.”

“So that’s a yes, then,” Albie hedged. “To being comfortable with me.”

Percy scoffed out a laugh, his cheeks dark pink. “Do you not remember before?” Then he whispered, “I kissed you, remember? I mean, you shoved me against the shelf and all, and my insides near caught fire, but I distinctly recall me being the one who...”

Albie hummed. “Kissed me?”

Percy huffed, flustered. “Why must you do that?”

“Do what? You can talk about kissing but I cannot?”

“But when you talk about it, I...” He waved his hand. “I lose all sense and reason. And now Des and Robert think I can’t make porridge, but I’ll have you know, it has nothing to do with skill and everything to do with how you... what you...” He groaned and looked away again.

Albie chuckled and went over to him, trailing his palm across Percy’s back, his shoulder. “How our bodies touched,” he whispered. “Where no one has touched me before.”

Percy sucked back a breath, whining on the exhale, his hands wringing the cloth he was holding. “You need to go do something else, go be somewhere else, while I clean up this mess. I can’t... function properly or think clearly, and when you talk like that...” He turned around and looked up at Albie. Was he mad? He looked a little mad. “Talking of such things right now isn’t helping. You’re coercing me to think of things I should not be thinking about.” He pushed Albie out of the kitchen. “Go. Leave me to finish this in peace.”

Albie laughed, but he went willingly enough. “Fine. I’ll go. Just know that I’ll be thinking those things wherever I am.”

Percy groaned and went back into the kitchen. Albie heard the clatter of pots and plates, so he did what Percy had asked, and left him to it.

He stood at the door to his father’s room. It’d been closed since Marcy had been kind enough to strip and wash the bedding when they’d got the news of his passing. She’d said it helped with the cleansing and goodbyes, and Albie hadn’t given it much thought back then, but he sure appreciated it now.

He wasn’t sure he could have done that.

With his hand on the door handle, he took a moment to close his eyes, to prepare himself, and he opened the door.

The room was cold, the air stale. He shouldn’t have kept the door closed, but for the life of him, he couldn’t bear to see the room empty.

He wasn’t sure what he expected to find. The ghost of his father, perhaps, telling him to get on with living, not to waste a minute.

That was madness, and Albie knew it. He didn’t even believe in ghosts.

But boy, it sure would be nice to hear his voice just once more...

The curtains were drawn, the bed was made. A pair of shoes neatly pointing to the wall by the dresser drawers, his dinner coat hung behind the door.

And silence.

So much silence.

There was a gentle rap on the door. Albie turned to find Percy watching him. “Are you... is everything good?”

Albie let out a sigh. “Yeah.”

Percy stepped into the room, and it felt like a breakthrough over the threshold. The silence was gone; it wasn’t so cold.

“First time back in here?” he asked.

Albie paused for a moment. “I had to pick out his burial clothes, and Marcy washed the bedding, but it’s been closed since.”

Percy came and stood beside him, and he slipped his hand into Albie’s. A lifeline if Albie had ever had one.

“Did he die here?” Percy asked.

Albie shook his head. “No. He was helping old man Wilcox fell some trees. Wilcox had helped my father a time or two, so he was returning the favour. Most folks around here help out when they can, so it wasn’t unusual. There was an accident when a log came down... They rode him into town, but it was too late.”

“I’m really sorry,” Percy whispered.

“Me too.” Then he sighed. “I can talk about him now without feeling like the log hit me instead of him.” He put his hand to his chest and rubbed the ache that burned. “Still isn’t easy, though. But it helps.”

“I’ll listen, anytime you want to talk.”

Albie gave him a smile. “Thank you.” Then he held up their still-joined hands. “This is another first for me.”

Percy made a face. “It’s not for me, sorry.”

Albie gasped. “Was it the girl you were supposed to marry?”

He gave a nod. “Though I can tell you this is the first time it felt good. The first time it gave me a thrill, and not a lump of dread.”

Albie laughed. “That poor girl.”

“Poor her? What about poor me?”

He turned to face Percy. Still holding his hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Poor you,” he murmured.

Percy’s eyes seemed to darken and he licked his bottom lip. “You shouldn’t look at me like that,” he whispered.

Albie grinned and kissed Percy’s knuckles again, smiling this time. “And how am I looking at you?”

“Like you want me.”

“I do. In ways I don’t even know.”

“Oh,” he squeaked. “You shouldn’t say such things, Albie.”

Albie couldn’t hardly believe he was saying these things. “Sorry,” he said, lowering their hands but not letting go. “I look at you and my manners disappear.”

“I can tell,” Percy said. There was no bite in his tone though. He looked around the room. “Did you want to pack things away? Or leave them as they are?”

Albie sighed. “Most of it will get packed away, I would think. I’ll keep anything personal or practical. Not that my father kept many personal things. He had some decent coats and woollen socks. Some gloves.”

Percy squeezed Albie’s hand. “Want me to help, or would you rather some alone time?”

Albie met him with a smile. “Company, I think. To keep me moving. So I don’t dwell on every single piece.”

He let go of Albie’s hand and rubbed his arm. “Then let’s start.”

They sorted clothes first, setting aside anything worth keeping. Some were barely fit for rags, or as an undershirt perhaps, or even?—

“Robert and Des might appreciate a look at these,” Percy said, adding a pair of long johns to the pile.

“I was just thinking that,” Albie agreed. “They’re too big for you, but I might have some clothes I no longer fit into.”

“I’m not that much smaller than you,” he said, though he did smirk. Because he was indeed that much smaller. “But I do appreciate the offer.”

“You didn’t bring much with you,” Albie noted.

“I was lucky to leave with my horse,” he replied.

Albie put the shirt he was folding onto the pile and touched Percy’s arm. “I’m so very sorry.”

“As am I.” He tried to smile but it didn’t hold. “I’m grateful to have found a place here. To have met you.”

“Remember what I said,” Albie added with a squeeze of Percy’s shoulder. “No pressure for anything other than the job you’re hired to do. If you’d rather keep a professional distance, I would understand.”

Percy gave him an irritated, hard stare. “Are you doubting me already? We had this conversation not one hour ago.”

Albie smiled at his attempt to be stern. “You might change your mind at some point, and that’s fine.”

Percy narrowed his eyes at him. “Then perhaps I should kiss you again so you understand. Though if you keep doubting me and making me say these things out loud, perhaps I should say no until you learn.”

Albie laughed. “Okay, teacher. Deny me and we shall see who breaks first.”

Percy groaned. “I can be stubborn.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“I promise you’ll break first.”

Albie took Percy’s shoulder and pushed him against the desk, pressing hard up against him, their bodies flush. Percy gasped, his eyes wide, mouth open, his hands quickly fisting Albie’s shirt, looking up at him, melting into him, ready to be kissed. Licking his lips...

Just begging to be kissed.

Albie smiled victoriously. “That’s a wager I’m prepared to take.”

Like Percy knew he’d already lost, he shoved Albie away. “You’re the devil.”

Albie laughed and put his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”

Percy pointed to the rest of the clothes. “Keep working, or I’ll go find something that needs doing in the barn. Like making myself somewhere to sleep tonight.”

Albie chuckled, but he did what he was told, going back to sorting and folding the few remaining clothes.

Until Percy grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him around, and pushed him to sit on the bed. He took a rough grasp on Albie’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and planted a hard kiss on his lips.

“How’s that for a wager?” Percy asked, shoving him with a grin. “Believe me now?”

Albie was stunned and incredibly aroused. His heart was hammering, his body singing. “Now who’s the devil?” he breathed.

Percy grinned. “I’m going to grab my few things from the bunkhouse.” And with that, he turned and walked out.

Albie’s head swam, his heart thumping painfully, and he could feel it thundering under his palm. But something ached even more, and he slid his hand down, palming his arousal through his trousers.

Percy was indeed the devil, sent to test him, he was sure of it.

He willed his body to calm down, taking in a few deep breaths. Then he remembered where he sat. In his father’s room, on his father’s bed.

It wasn’t appropriate to behave so indecently.

It’s no longer your father’s room, nor is it his bed. It’s yours, Albie. You’re free to behave however you want in your own room...

He shook his head to clear it, ridding himself of ghosts and doubts.

And he finished clearing out his father’s things.