28. Slade

28

SLADE

T hat night I lie awake and think about what kind of life I want. I’ve never allowed myself to do that before. When I was at Sciff, I never thought about the future. Hell, even before Sciff, any plans I made were more about what was best for Jake than I what I wanted for myself. I never allowed myself to dream of a happy life for myself. I didn’t think something like that was possible.

I’m still not sure it is.

The first thing I want is to be with Quin and Chime. After the way I left things last night, that will require a lot of groveling and persuasion on my part. I have to convince Quin that I can be the kind of alpha he needs, and that I can be a good father for Chime.

Which means getting a job. That’s another thing I want. Honest work may be hard to find after getting out of Sciff, but I’m ready to pound the pavement and do whatever it takes to prove myself.

The beginnings of a plan form in my head. Not only for wooing Quin, but looking for work. I stay up until the early hours of the morning, writing my plans in my phone and pacing across the floor. It’s scary to go after the things I want. Doing what was best for Jake always felt safer.

At three in the morning, I finally force myself to get a little sleep. But as soon as my alarm goes off at six, I’m up again and working on my plans. I eat breakfast with Jake and Stew before they go to work, then I shower and put on the best clothing I can find in my dresser. I’m far more nervous now than I was yesterday when I went to dinner at his place. I’m putting myself out there today and asking Quin for exactly what I want. He could say no—hell, he probably will after the way I left things last night. But I have to try.

I load everything in Coin’s car, my anxiety rising as I take trip after trip to deposit everything in the trunk. I briefly consider telling Quin I’m on my way before I leave. After all, he might be off doing deliveries when I get there. In that case, I guess I’ll just have to wait.

Hopefully he won’t turn me away.

I do text my brother before I go.

I’m driving down to Quin’s. I may not be home tonight.

He messages me back a four-leaf clover emoji, and the words, Good luck .

I also text Stew. I know he’s my brother’s mate, but he’s also become my friend over the last few years.

I’m asking Quin to be my mate today.

Instead of a message, his name flashes across the screen. He’s calling me.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man. I just wanted to call and tell you that you’re the shit. My brothers did the same for me before I asked Jake to be my mate. It really helped. You have no idea how nervous I was. Anyway, you’re a good guy, Slade. You take care of the people you love. That’s what really matters, you know?”

I smile. “You were nervous to ask Jake to be your mate?”

“Fuck, yes. Jake is way smarter than me. You probably noticed that. He’s also hella strong. I mean, he was living in that group home and he still beat his addiction. I can’t even stick to going to the gym.”

Stew is right, of course. Jake is hella strong, and he’s always been smart. But it’s nice to hear him talk about my brother like that.

“Jake is the happiest I’ve ever seen him, and I think that has a lot to do with you,” I say. “Thank you for being so good to my brother.”

“Shit, I didn’t mean to make this about me. I just called to say that you got this. You’re hot, which always helps, right? And you got great tats. Quin’s gotta love that. Also, you already knocked him up. That’s good, right?”

I laugh. Stew is really trying, I’ll give him that.

“I think I was supposed to wait until after we bonded to knock him up.”

“Nah. The order isn’t what’s important if you get there eventually.”

If only Quin’s family agreed with that sentiment.

“Either way, we’re here for you, man,” Stew says.

Before I was incarcerated, I didn’t have the kind of support Stew and Jake are giving me right now. I was completely on my own. Having someone to rely on is a huge comfort.

“Thanks. I’ll let you know how it goes. See you later.”

I end the call and get into Coin’s car.

It’s time to go after the man my grizzly heart fell in love with a long time ago.