Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

J ake looked down at Evie, asleep in his arms, the warm glow of the flickering candles casting a golden light over her. They'd made love three times, and each time it was a revelation, more glorious than the one before, but they couldn't stay here much longer. The sun would be up soon, bringing with it the inevitable chores keeping Monta?a del Trueno prosperous, yet he didn't want to move, didn't want this night to come to an end.

He planted a kiss on her forehead. Evie sighed in her sleep then moved a bit closer to him, her leg thrown over his, her head resting on his shoulder. Her hand sprawled across his chest over his heart, seeping warmth into his skin. That feeling of completeness, of belonging , became so profound, his soul was flooded with it. He'd never felt that before. It was overwhelming and welcome...and so very scary.

Is this what I've been searching for my entire life? Is this what had been missing when I thought I had everything I ever wanted?

Startled by these waves of pure emotion crashing over him, he stiffened. Evie shifted in her sleep and mumbled something he couldn't quite catch. He held her tighter, never wanting to let go. She was his light, his dawn of a new day filled with hope, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw a future that was different than anything he'd ever known. Or dreamed of. Or thought was even possible.

Is this love?

He'd never been in love. Ever.

How does one know one is in love if one has never experienced it? And yet, he didn't doubt his feelings for her. Not one bit. It was more than fondness and admiration for the woman she was.

No, it went much, much deeper than that. The sense of belonging stayed with him, growing, blossoming, filling the places in his soul that had never been touched.

He watched her with the children—her grandniece and -nephews. She was affectionate with them, always hugging them, kissing them on the cheek or forehead, ruffling their hair, laughing with them. He'd never experienced that as a child. Growing up at St. Anselm's hadn't provided the sort of affection she poured on the children. Yes, he'd been well cared for. His belly had never been empty. He'd had a roof over his head, and he'd been educated, but that was all. Father O'Malley and the Sisters there had a certain fondness for him, but that fondness had never been shown as openly as Evie showered on the children.

Her affection wasn't on display to just them, either. It extended to everyone in her circle—her niece and nephews, Hilde, Antonio, Charley, and Felicity. Even her friends were recipients of the love she had to give.

His gaze swept over her fine features as he held her a little tighter, his fingers caressing the soft skin of her bare shoulder. Such goodness radiated from her, even in sleep, that his heart skipped a beat, only to resume with a painful thud.

I am in love with this woman! The revelation hit him with all the subtlety of an anvil dropping on his head.

And on the heels of that epiphany, another whispered through him—he had no choice but to tell her the truth about what had brought him there. He'd put it off for too long, and the telling of it had grown more difficult, especially after what they'd shared, but she deserved to know. Not just part of it, but all of it—even at the risk of breaking her heart. And his. Dread filled him. If she asked him to leave?—

He drew in his breath. The mere thought of leaving, of never seeing her again—even worse, of hurting her—made the newly found realization of loving her more urgent and painful.

She moved, snuggling into him closer, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He hadn't realized she was awake.

"Evie?" he whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"I have something to tell you."

"What is it, Jake?" Her voice was soft and sleepy, her body, pressed against his, so warm.

"I love you, Miss Evie Miller."

She sighed and snuggled a little closer. "I love you, too, Jake."

"You love me?"

"I do. With all my heart."

Elation swept through him and just as quickly, fear that he could lose something so fragile so fast. And it was fragile, this new feeling filling him.

He rushed on before she could say anything else. "There's something I need to tell you about my past. About who I was." He spit out the words he was certain would ruin everything. "I was a gambler."

She stiffened against him, then leaned up on her elbow, and looked down at him, her face, in the light cast by the candles, clearly showing her confusion. "What?"

"A gambler. That's how I made my living these past few years. High stakes poker games where there was no limit on what you could bet. I've won and lost fortunes too many times to count."

Her brows furrowed with questions but before she could say anything, he confessed, "But I think you should know that I haven't touched a card or made a bet since I came here."

The admission didn't help. She untangled herself from his arm and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face. That face, the one he'd fallen in love with, showed the myriad of emotions running through her—confusion, betrayal, anger, love—or what he thought was love—he saw them all in the depths of her eyes and his heart went from being full to shrinking so much that it hurt.

"A gambler," she repeated, as if trying to absorb the word, then her eyes narrowed and she stared at him, as if she could see into his soul. "How does a gambler end up here, on my ranch?" She sucked in her breath as the full realization hit her. "In my bed?"

He dreaded telling her everything, but knew there was no escaping it now. If there was any hope for a future with her, a future he'd been thinking about, she had to know. "How did I end up here? In all truth, Evie, I was running."

"Running? From what?"

He hesitated, his gut tightening as the name of the man who could ruin his chances for a happy life tumbled from his mouth, though in truth he was just as guilty. He never should have lied to her. "Not what, but who. Erik King."

Her frown deepened, pulling down the corners of her mouth. "Who is Erik King?"

"A fellow gambler. Someone I should never have played against." He couldn't look at her and see what his confession was doing to her. He couldn't look away, either. "I knew of his reputation, but I didn't know him, never met him. I should have walked away from the table as soon as he introduced himself."

"But you didn't." Her voice became icy with anger, and tears shimmered in her eyes, turning them from light gray to the darker gray of storm clouds building in the distance. "And you lost."

"Actually, I won. Walked away with enough to buy this ranch twice over."

"If you won, why did you run?" She shook her head, obviously puzzled. "I don't understand."

"Beating him, winning against him was a cardinal sin. At least in his eyes. He became insistent that I play him again so he could win his money back and didn't like it when I said no, kept saying no, even though I knew the consequences of doing so. King doesn't play by the rules." Ashamed of his actions—of hurting her—he reached out to caress her face, but she pulled away. At least, she hadn't scrambled from the bed the moment he told her what he had been. Knowing how she felt about the profession maybe that meant there was a chance she would forgive him.

"Why didn't you just play him again? Or simply give him the money you'd won?"

"I offered several times to give him back his money. He refused." He'd never make her understand how utterly ruthless and unreasonable Erik King could be. "It wouldn't have made a difference anyway. I damaged his reputation when I won. Hurt his ego. The only way to remedy that, in his mind, was to play him again. I was damned lucky to walk away from him the first time. I knew I wouldn't be so lucky again. They'd find me, days later, floating in San Francisco Bay with a hole in my chest like so many others who went up against him." He let out a long sigh, already feeling the pain from the bullet that may eventually come for him. Or maybe that pain was caused by the look on her face.

"When Father O'Malley placed your advertisement beside my coffee cup that morning and told me I needed to grow up, to give up the cards and find a more respectable life, I knew he was right."

"I see." She scrambled from the bed then, pulling the quilt with her. She wrapped it around herself, hiding her soft, supple body from his eyes. "You lied to me." She flung the accusation at him, her voice choked. "And kept lying to me about who and what you were, knowing I despise gambling and those who participate in it, knowing what happened to Regina and Javier…and Tom. You lied to me about why you were here. It wasn't about wanting to marry me at all. You were just…" She heaved in her breath like it was an effort, like it hurt her to do so and then she stiffened, her eyes narrowing. "You used me. Used Monta?a del Trueno." She stopped speaking. Tears sparkled in her eyes. "Was any of it real, Jake? Was it all a lie?"

Jake flinched as she listed the sins against him. He threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, his body tense. "What I feel for you is real, Evie."

"I don't believe you."

That much was obvious and he didn't know what to say to convince her, but he had to try. "When you asked me why I had replied to your?—"

"Lucy's."

"Lucy's advertisement," he corrected himself, "I said I was looking for a change. And I was. That much was true. It's still true. I found that change when I came here, Evie. You and the rest of your family helped me…see what could be." He paused for a moment before admitting. "I'm still gambling, but not with cards or money. I'm gambling with my heart now."

"Why are you telling me this, Jake? Why now? After we…after I…after telling me you love me." Spots of color highlighted her cheeks as if embarrassed by the pleasure they'd found in each other's arms.

He let out a sigh of resignation. "I do love you, Evie. That's why I thought you deserved to know the truth. All of it."

She drew in her breath as if trying to gain control of herself and unclenched her fists then grabbed her chemise and drawers from the floor where they'd dropped in their urgency to touch each other. Her movements were quick and jerky. "You didn't have to tell me at all. I probably never would have known." She backed out of the doorway to the bedroom until he couldn't see her anymore. "The lie and your profession isn't all of it, is it?" Her disembodied voice came from beyond the bedroom. He could hear the quilt drop to the floor and the rustling of clothing as she donned her undergarments.

Oh, he hated hearing the hurt and anger in her husky voice, knowing he had done that. If she reacted this way to the truth, how would she react to the rest of it? He stared at the doorway, waiting for her. "No."

A moment later, she appeared, clad in her lace-edged drawers and short chemise, her hands on her hips. "What else? What aren't you telling me?"

His gaze rose to meet hers. "There is a strong possibility Erik King might find me and show up here to get back what I won from him or?—"

She didn't let him finish. "What?" She trembled as she stood before him. He could see it. Hell, he could feel it even though he wasn't touching her, and his heart squeezed a little more. "This man, this Erik King, could come here—" Her mouth snapped shut as the consequences of his actions seemed to become clear to her.

He rose from the bed, wrapped the sheet around himself, and approached her warily. He wanted to touch her, draw her into his arms and hold her, but didn't dare. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she whispered, incredulity in her voice.

To his ears, it was as if she shouted. The impact to his heart was the same.

"For what? For lying to me? For making me fall in love with you? Or for bringing danger here?" She drew in her breath, her chest heaving with the effort as she stared at him, her eyes glittering with hurt and betrayal. And so much anger.

She squeezed past him and grabbed her skirt and blouses from the floor, then turned to him once more in all her righteous glory. "How could you say you love me, then tell me you may have put my whole family in jeopardy? How could you?"

He shook his head. He had no answers that would satisfy himself, much less her. Truthfully, he should never have lied to her, even if it was a lie of omission. Hell, he should never have come here, knowing what kind of man King was.

"I think you should go." She stood there, staring at him, her clothes dangling from her hands. "I think you should leave before this…this Erik King finds out where you are."

"I am sorry, Evie."

She glared at him for a moment longer. "You should be." She turned and strode away, grabbing her boots from the kitchen as she did.

The door to the little house slammed with a bang, the sound very much like his heart breaking.

I fell in love with a gambler!

She wiped the tears from her eyes and finished dressing quickly on the porch, then left Peque?a Casa , running back to the homestead as fast as her feet could carry her. She stopped at the gate and wiped her face again, then took several deep breaths to still her thundering heart.

She passed through the gate, closing it behind her then cautiously made her way between the barn and the bunkhouse, careful to avoid being seen by any of the ranch hands just beginning their day. When everyone had left the barnyard, she slipped into the barn and headed up the central aisle where Spitfire waited in her stall.

She didn't want to be here when Jake eventually came back. She didn't want to see him, and yet, she did. She wasn't done telling him what she thought about him. Yes, she did love him, more than she thought possible. She could have dealt with the fact he was a gambler, could have gotten over the real reason Jake came to Monta?a del Trueno, but putting her family in danger…no, that was something she just couldn't accept. Or forgive.

"There's nothing worse than an old fool, Spitfire."

Spitfire nodded as she reached out to smooth her fingers over the horse's nose.

She swiped at her face one more time, then grabbed her equipment from the tack room and began to saddle her horse. Her fingers were clumsy, and tears continued to blur her vision. She hated crying, hated this feeling of weakness, of betrayal. Worse, she loathed the fact that she had allowed herself to fall for him to begin with. All these years, she'd fought to be strong, independent, and confident, and here, one man had reduced her to a blubbering idiot.

"Ah, there you are!" Teddy entered the barn and strolled down the aisle. "I've been looking all over for you." He laughed softly. "I must be losing what's left of my mind because I thought I checked in here."

Evie stiffened as she tightened the cinches on Spitfire's saddle but didn't turn around. The last person she wanted to see at this moment was Teddy. Her nephew would take one look at her and see…that she'd been a fool, perhaps the biggest fool in the history of the world. She cleared her throat and fought to fight the constriction making it difficult to draw air into her lungs. "Why were you looking for me? Are the children all right?"

"The children are fine. I was getting concerned though, especially when you didn't come down for breakfast. You're usually the first one up…well, you and Hilde." He came a little closer. "So, where were you?"

"I went for a walk." Her voice cracked. If she heard it, then most certainly he did as well.

"Before the sun came up?" He took a few more steps toward her and she turned away to avoid meeting his eyes. "Jake seems to be missing as well." He looked at her. "You were with him, weren't you?"

"That's none of your business, Teddy. My life is my life, and you have no right to interfere." She took a big gulping breath, trying so hard to keep her composure, to keep from bursting into tears, but she failed, and the sound that issued from her throat was something she'd never heard before.

" Tia Evie? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" The tone of his voice changed, becoming deeper, harsher, and filled with suspicion. "Did he hurt you?"

"I…I can't talk about this." With quick movements, Evie climbed into the saddle and rode from the barn.

Jake waited until the barnyard quieted, then entered the bunkhouse and stopped short, startled to see Teddy sitting at the table, his arms folded across his chest, his dark eyes glittering with suspicion, a look he was more than familiar with.

"I've been waiting for you to show up." He stood quickly, making the chair legs scrape against the floor. "What the hell did you do to my aunt?" It wasn't a question. It was an accusation.

Jake moved past him, his muscles tense, his heart beating hard, and grabbed his soft-sided suitcases from beside his trunk and tossed them on the bunk.

Teddy followed him, his gaze going from Jake to the suitcases. "She's crying," he said harshly. He shook his head, understandably angry, then glared at him. "I haven't seen her cry since I was a kid. And it's your fault, I'm sure. What the hell did you do?"

"I told her the truth," Jake admitted, though it was the last thing he wanted to do, especially to Teddy.

"And what truth is that?"

He started taking items from the trunk to stuff in the empty, soft-sided satchel, then glanced at Teddy.

"I'm a gambler, Teddy. I won a lot of money from a fellow gambler, and he is after me." He ran his fingers through his hair and took a step back, his focus on the man in front of him, waiting for the punch that would knock him on his ass. "I answered Lucy's advertisement, in part, to leave San Francisco and get away from him."

"You lied to her?"

"Yes."

The corners of his mouth tilted upward, and sympathy reflected in his eyes. "Oh, Jake, you don't know what you've done. No one lies to Tia Evie without paying the consequences, especially about what you were. You know how she feels about gamblers."

Jake turned away to grab more clothes from the trunk. "I'll finish packing my things and go."

"Running away again?" Teddy scoffed as he began to pace back and forth. "Isn't that what brought you here in the first place? Things get a little uncomfortable and you just take off instead of facing it?" He stopped pacing and stood in front of Jake, his eyes narrowed, his stare so intense, Jake cringed a little inside. "Is leaving really what you want to do?"

"No." Leaving Monta?a del Trueno was not what he wanted to do. Not at all. He had fallen in love with Miss Evie Miller. He'd also fallen in love with the ranch and the people here, the slow rhythm of the days, the camaraderie he'd been shown by his fellow bunkmates. He'd grown particularly fond of the children—sweet Savannah, with her million-and-one questions; Miguel, with his eyes full of mischief. And Toughie. He'd never seen a more active child or one who seemed happy all the time. Even Ramón had earned his affection.

But it was Evie that held the highest place in his heart. He loved her.

And he was more certain of that now than ever before. The old Jake, the man he had been, would have walked away without a thought.

"Look, Jake, you're not the same man who came here." Teddy drew his attention. "I didn't like you much then, and I certainly never wanted you and Tia Evie to get together. In fact, I warned her away from you, more than once. You're a maverick. Knew it the first time I saw you. Always doing things your own way, but I've seen how much you've changed. You've worked hard. You've learned." He shook his head, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Never saw a man with as much natural ability as you when it comes to the horses. Though I hate to admit it, you might be better than me." He took a step back, but his gaze was intense and remained that way. And then something happened Jake didn't expect at all. A gentleness crept into Teddy's dark eyes. "We all make mistakes, Jake. Every single one of us. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. The important thing is that we learn from them." He glanced at the shirt in Jake's hand then back at his face, that softness still in his eyes. "Do you love her?"

"I do. I've never loved anyone more."

"Then stay and fight for her, man."

He shook his head. It was impossible. He couldn't stay because if he did, there was still the danger he could possibly bring to the family, and he never wanted to do that. "I didn't just lie to her about my past, Teddy. There's more."

The man shook his head, confusion evident on his face as his brows lowered and his eyes squinted. "More? Lying wasn't bad enough?"

"There's Erik King," he said.

"Who is Erik King?"

"He's the one I won all the money from. He isn't the kind to let that go. I'm certain he's looking for me."

"I see." Teddy shook his head. "So, your plan is…what? Find this man first? And give him his money back? Do you even still have that money?" He folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head slightly to the side, his gaze intense. "Kill him?"

Jake stiffened. The thought had run through his mind, more than once. It would solve so many of his problems if Erik King was no longer among the living, but he wasn't a violent man. He may have defended himself with his fists when the situation warranted it, but he'd never killed a man, never even held a gun in his hand. He doubted he could take someone's life.

"I'd get that thought out of your head right now, Jake," he scoffed, his tone sharp. "I don't think you have it in you to kill him. And then what? You'd be running for the rest of your life, and I don't think you want to do that, either. Tia Evie would never forgive you for that."

He was right. Evie would never forgive him, but maybe it was just as well. She had asked him to leave and that's as far as his plans went. He shoved another shirt into the suitcase, not even bothering to fold it first. "It doesn't matter. None of it does. She told me to leave so that's what I'm doing."

"You're a fool, Jake." Teddy rocked back on his heels. "Wouldn't it be better to—instead of facing this man on his terms—alone—you face him with us? We'd stand behind you if he should come here."

That statement shocked him, making his entire body stiffen as a little speck of hope raced through his mind. He stared at the man, confused and unsure, but at the same time encouraged, though he couldn't help asking why.

Teddy shrugged. "For Tia Evie. If she loves you like I think she does, it'll break her heart if you leave."

"But she told me to leave."

"She's upset. Understandably so. Tia Evie values honesty, but she has a big heart. She will forgive you." He gave a little smile. "Oh, maybe not right away, but she will. Not if you turn tail and run though. Think about it, Jake."

"Is he stayin'?" Antonio appeared in the doorway to the bunkhouse, his big frame blocking out the sun, but only momentarily, as he stalked into the room.

Was it his imagination, or did the big man seem bigger? Yes. Yes, he did. And intimidating, so much so, that Jake took a step back, his muscles tightening, as the man approached him.

Without a word of warning, Antonio curled up his fist and let it fly, catching Jake in the face.

Jake staggered back from the force of the blow and reached for the post of the bunk so he wouldn't fall flat on his ass, but missed and fell on his ass anyway. His eyes watered from the pain. The man packed a hell of a punch.

"You deserved that." Antonio loomed over him, breathing heavily, his mustache fluttering with every breath. "I told you that if you ever hurt Miss Evie, you'd answer to me."

"You did." Jake held his hand to his nose, gingerly touching it. He wasn't sure it wasn't broken—it didn't feel the same as the last time it was broken—but it still smarted, making his eyes water. He glanced at Teddy from his position on the floor. "You want a go, too?"

"No, I don't think that's necessary." Teddy extended his hand, his smile spreading, obviously pleased seeing Jake on his ass. And who could blame him?

Jake grasped the offered hand and rose to his feet, warily watching as Antonio went to the ice box, chipped away at the block of ice that had been delivered yesterday, and wrapped the pieces in his handkerchief. He returned and held it out. "Here. Press this against your face."

Jake did as he was told. The ice felt good against his skin. Cold. Soothing. "Thank you."

The big man nodded. " De nada."

"So, what's it going to be, Jake?" Teddy drew his attention. "You gonna stay and fight for her? Or are you gonna turn tail and run like a coward?"

"Think carefully, son," Antonio counseled. "Evie would never give up so easily."

"No, she wouldn't," Teddy added with a wry chuckle, "but then Tia Evie has more plain stubbornness than anyone I've ever known. She'd dig in her heels and do what needed to be done." The man gave him a sidelong glance. "Are you staying?"

Jake didn't have to think. He already knew his answer. "I'll stay." It was the right decision. At least, it felt right in his heart, but there was still the matter of getting Evie to forgive him. That wasn't a forgone conclusion. Teddy had spoken the truth. The woman was as stubborn as a mule—maybe even more so. And then, there was Erik King. Just because he decided to stay, didn't mean that King had given up on him. "What about King?"

"What about him?" Teddy shrugged. "If he dares to shows up here, we'll take care of it."

The simple comment stunned him. No one, not in all the years he traveled this earth, stood up for him like that. He'd always fought his own battles, and here was this man telling him he wouldn't be alone. It was unexpected and humbling and maybe even made him feel like he was worthy. "Are you sure? You don't know him or what he's capable of doing."

"Doesn't matter. We Silvas don't run from a fight. Never have. Never will." Teddy grinned, closed the trunk and sat on it, then pointed to the bunk beside him while Antonio pulled up a chair and slid into it, the wood creaking just a bit. "Now, let's figure out what you're gonna do to win Tia Evie back. I promise, it isn't going to be easy."

Jake sank to the mattress and eyed his visitors…now apparently his co-conspirators. Was it his imagination, or did Teddy and Antonio seem to be getting blurrier? He blinked several times, which didn't help at all. In fact, it seemed to make his vision worse. He gingerly touched the skin around his eye. Yes, it was swelling up nicely, which was causing his fuzzy vision. He brought the handkerchief filled with ice up to his eye and nose and placed it gently against his skin. "Are you sure you want to help me? I seem to recall you telling me to stay away from her, so why now?"

"Let's just say I've had a change of heart. And I do want to help you." Teddy jerked his thumb toward Antonio. "He does, too. Heath and Esteban will help. Uncle Charley and Aunt Felicity as well."

"Even Hilde," Antonio added, "though I would be wary of her cast-iron skillet."

"Why?"

"Because we've never seen Tia Evie happier," Teddy admitted, "and I, for one, want to see that again. I think she deserves it."

"I don't know what to say except thank you."

Teddy laughed then, not a little chuckle either, but a full-blown, deep from his gut, laugh. "Oh, don't thank us yet."