Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

ELENA

I sit next to Aunt Rosa, holding her hands as she sleeps more peacefully than I’ve seen in weeks. We’re in the suburbs in the most prominent house in the neighborhood, with tall walls surrounding us and what feels like an army of Mafia men patrolling the grounds. Aunt Rosa has her doctor and her nurse here, too. For once, Giulia is getting some rest.

I talk quietly as she sleeps, mostly to distract my mind from what Dario might currently be going through. I’ve asked Maria, who came to the safe house with us, to tell me if there are any updates. So far, there’s nothing. I guess he’s still handling things in the city, or …

Not letting myself think about the or , I whisper, “He said that he loved me, Aunt Rosa. I don’t think he even realized he said it. It’s like it just came out, but maybe that means it’s more likely to be true, right? It’s as if he just said it without thinking, like a reflex. If you were awake, you’d hate me talking like this. You’d say something about him being wrong for me and him being bad. But I can’t see him as bad, not after I’ve seen the other parts of him—the pieces of his personality nobody else gets to see. He says I’ve changed him. He’s changed me, too.”

I cringe when a quiet knock comes at the door. As I stand, my heartbeat reminds me of somebody locked inside a coffin, beating at the lid, trying to get out. It’s a morbid thought, but I can’t shake it.

When I open the door and see the big smile on Maria’s face, I let out a trembling sob of pure joy. “He’s okay?” I whisper.

“He’s on his way,” Maria replies, hugging me. “He said you were the first person he wanted to see.”

“I’m so happy,” I exclaim. “We’ll be able to be together. For a little while.”

“For a little while,” Maria replies, ending the hug and frowning at me.

“Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about Salvatore.”

Maria nods as if she’s relieved about that.

“Can I ask,” I go on, “what would happen if Dario were to go against his dad’s wishes and be with me anyway?”

“I can only go by Mafia precedent,” she murmurs as if she doesn’t want to answer.

“Go by that, then,” I say fiercely.

“Dario would be exiled from the Family. He’d lose any connection to the Family, both financially and otherwise. He’d lose his position. Without an heir, the Family would go into civil war. It might result in somebody else trying to take charge. It very well may be a death sentence for my husband.”

“Which is why Dario would never do that,” I say.

“I can’t see it,” Maria confirms. “I’m aware you think this makes my husband a hypocrite.”

“It might end my aunt’s life, too,” I reply, “if she knew I wanted to be with a criminal. She hates the idea. She hasn’t even met him, and she hates your son.”

Maria sighs. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I wish things were different.”

“Maybe Salvatore will let us be together. Maybe Aunt Rosa will see reason.”

Maria doesn’t look convinced but graces me with a “ Possibly. ”

Once she’s gone, I return to the chair next to Aunt Rosa’s bed. I take her hands again. “I know this won’t mean much to you, but Dario’s okay. He’s coming to be with me. He said I was the first person he wanted to see.”

Aunt Rosa blinks her eyes open. “It means something to hear you this happy.” She seems far more lucid than she has in weeks.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough,” she replies. “I heard what you said about me hating that you’re with a criminal.”

“I know, Aunt Rosa. You don’t approve. I can’t expect you to.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” she murmurs. “I wish it was. Honey, I need to tell you something. I don’t know how long I’ve got left?—”

“ Don’t speak like that. Giulia says you’ve been doing better.”

“Have I?” Her old smile touches her face. “That’s good to hear but difficult to believe. So I can recover from this, can I?”

“With the right care—which you have now—yes, you can and will.”

“I have to tell you anyway,” she goes on. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t. Please, just let me explain. I don’t hate your boyfriend. I hate myself.”

Something ugly rises in me. My throat closes as heartache threatens to choke me. On some twisted level, it’s like I know what she’s going to say or part of it. All her hints stack in my mind until they’re an impossible-to-ignore tower. “It’s about the fire.”

“You’ve always been such a perceptive girl. I’ve tried to drop hints about it over the years. I think you’ve just been ignoring them.”

“You don’t have to say anything you’ll regret,” I mutter.

“I’ll regret not telling you even more.”

“You’re not thinking straight.”

“It’s the opposite. For the first time in weeks, I am thinking clearly, and you can see that. I know you can,” she insists.

I know that Guillain-Barré Syndrome can grant sufferers moments of clarity, similar to dementia. “Okay …”

Aunt Rosa bites down, then says, “I was dating a criminal for several months. I thought we were in love. I thought he was a good man, though I ignored his stealing and gambling. I turned a blind eye to so much else, truth be told—the violence, the evilness. I told myself I knew him. I told myself, despite the world he lived in, he was different.”

Tears prick my eyes. When I try to cut in, she stubbornly shakes her head.

“You have to let me tell you,” she says sternly, “before I go all fuzzy-headed again.”

I swallow, then nod for her to go on.

“Then I walked in on him with another woman … and the woman was, oh, God, she wasn’t … Do you know what I’m hinting at?”

“The woman didn’t want to be there,” I mutter with a pit in my belly.

“Yes. So I called the cops. He beat me terribly, but I saved that woman. I ended things with him. I hated him, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. He developed a sick obsession with me. We had arguments. He wouldn’t quit. Eventually, he made a vicious threat. He was going to destroy the only family I had: my sister, her husband, and sweet children.”

“Aunt Rosa,” I moan, clasping her hand in both of mine, a twisted mixture of shock, resentment, and heartache clashing inside of me. “Oh my God.”

“He did it,” Aunt Rosa sobs. “I didn’t think he was serious. I told the police. They said they’d look into it but didn’t find anything. When I heard the news, I wanted them to arrest me . The police ruled it an accident, despite what I said. Corruption? Or maybe they thought it was a coincidence ? Then, years later, that sick monster sent me a video in the mail. He admitted to what he did. Then he—on video—ended it. He ended himself.”

Aunt Rosa bursts into the most heart-wrenching tears her frail body will allow her. I almost leap to my feet and nearly scream at her.

Instead, I sit back with a numb feeling cloaking me, struggling to accept that any of this is real. It seems impossible that something so vicious and ugly could be true.

“If he admitted it, surely the police know now.”

“Yes. It’s on public record. I’ve been waiting for you to find out for years.” She talks between choked sobs. “Like the coward I am, I should’ve told you.”

“This is why you hate Dario,” I snap. “ This is why you don’t want me to be with him. Do you think he’d ever do anything like this? Do you think he’d ever even think about it? Dario would get justice for Mom, Dad, and Stevey if that man were still alive. Dario would beat him to death , and I’d be right there, cheering him on!”

Aunt Rosa’s hand trembles as she reaches up and paws at her cheeks. Despite the argument, seeing her even be able to do this feels like a small victory. She couldn’t have moved like that just a short time ago.

“I’m so sorry,” she moans. I stand up, about to storm out, but Aunt Rosa gasps. “Please. Stay. Hate me if you want, but stay. I don’t know when my mind will be this clear again. What if it never is? Elena, I love you. I never wanted this to happen. I should’ve forced your mother to move out of that house. I should’ve taken all of you and ran .”

Her words get me back in the chair, but agony tears through me. “I wish Dario was here,” I whisper.

“You love him.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“What if I do?” I snap. “Is there a problem with that? Are you going to hate me for it? Judge me?”

“It was never about him,” she murmurs. “I was trying to exorcise my demons. You’re old enough to make your own decisions. Even before that was the case, you’ve always been mature enough. I can’t stand in your way,” she chuckles miserably. “I can’t even stand.”

“Yet,” I say forcefully. “All of that’s going to change soon.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you, but this is. So. Messed. Up.”

She lets her head fall back on the pillow. “I know. I wish I didn’t have to tell you, but it’s been long enough. I should’ve told you a long, long time ago.”

“Yes,” I say firmly. “You should have.”

“Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”

Yes . I know I will. I could never hold a grudge against the person who’s cared for me for more than half my life. “I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe. Possibly.”

“That’s more than I deserve.”

“Will you sit with me?” she murmurs. “While I’m still…” she hesitates, “me?”

Holding her hand tighter, I nod as the past burns through me with hissing, spitting flames. For the first time in years, I let myself relive the fire, the small snippet of it I was exposed to before the fire department got me out. To think, it was all because Aunt Rosa had a romance with a criminal.

“I think we can both agree you’ve got no business telling me who to fall for now,” I say after a long pause.

“I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“It was all based on a false premise,” I tell her. “My man is nothing like your man. My man would never even think about doing something like that, let alone actually do it. My man is different .”

“How long have you been calling him ‘my man’?” she asks.

“Are you going to judge me?”

“I don’t want to fight. I’m just asking.”

I sigh. “A day, a few hours … I’m not sure exactly, but it feels right. That’s the thing with Dario and me. It’s felt right since the beginning. Ever since I walked into that grand townhouse, feeling inadequate on some level, I think I knew he was the one for me. I believe that’s why I never had boyfriends or even an interest in boyfriends. I think I was waiting for him.”

Aunt Rosa frowns.

“Go on, tell me I’m nuts,” I say.

“You’re not nuts,” she murmurs. “I should be happy to hear you talk like this, to know you feel this deeply. I should be happy you’ve found somebody who makes you so happy, but I want you to be safe.”

“He’s. Not. Like. Your. Ex.” I emphasize each word. “I won’t lie; there’s a savage in him. You could even call it a monster, but he only lets it out when needed. He only aims the darkness in himself at lowlifes who would do vicious things to innocent people if they had the chance. He’s a good person.”

“Are you sure?” Aunt Rosa says. “ I was sure.”

I remember what Dario said when I threw that love-at-first-sight line at him. He called it certainty . “I’m sure. Do you think we could just sit here for a while?”

“I’d like that,” she says with a relieved sigh.

We don’t say anything else, instead sitting in silence, enjoying the moments of Aunt Rosa’s lucidity as much as we can. Soon, she falls asleep, and I watch her with a smile on my face. It’s crazy, smiling at a time like this, but this is how I know I genuinely care about Dario. I’m thinking of our relationship and the roadblocks we’ve surged over one by one.

I can’t get too excited yet. My smile falters. Salvatore is still going to make Dario choose between the Family and me. Like Maria said, that’s a choice he’ll be forced to break my heart with.

I’m not sure how much time passes, but when I hear footsteps behind me, I somehow know they’re him. Maybe it’s their heaviness or their urgency.

I stand, turn, and run across the room to the door. Dario stands out in the hallway, his eyes wild, his hands trembling as he reaches for me, closing the door behind me. “I did some bad things tonight,” he grits out, “to bad people. I killed people, Elena.” He presses his hands into my hips, squeezing tightly, the sensation sending electric tingles dancing over me.

“I don’t care,” I whisper, realizing it’s true. “I just learned something about my family.”

He leans close, his breath caressing my face. “Tell me.”

I tell him quickly, then say, “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s in the past. The only thing that matters to us is that Aunt Rosa won’t stop us. We can be together.” His expression darkens, and I hint, “Now, tonight, we can be together, Dario. Don’t you get what I’m saying?”

He lets out a groan as he moves closer for a kiss. He pauses with our noses touching, the sensation tempting us to sink even deeper. “Is my perfect woman saying what I think you are?”

“Hmm,” I nod, my core flaming hotly, my clit feeling so sensitive as it rubs against my underwear. “I want you. I need you.”

“I’ve needed you since the moment I saw you,” he growls. “It was all supposed to be a game, an act, a scam, whatever you want to call it. But the second I saw my shy, sassy woman with flushed cheeks and a perfect smile, I knew I had to have you.”

He wraps his arms around me, lifting me off my feet and carrying me like husbands carry their wives over the threshold.

“I don’t want to think about tomorrow,” I say, throwing my arms around him. “The future can go to hell. It’s just me and you.”

“Me,” he groans, “and you.”

We kiss as he holds me effortlessly in his arms, making me feel weightless as I drag my hand through his hair, trying to get as close to him as possible. My nipples ache as our bodies rub together like something primal and savage is trying to fuse us.

“We need a bedroom,” he says passionately.

Nerves threaten to overtake me, but they have no place here, standing between us. “I was just thinking the same thing. Just don’t drop me,” I tease as he turns away, hurrying down the hallway.

“You don’t have to worry. I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you. I’m going to keep you safe, Elena, forever.”

The word forever sparks more passion in me, even if it might be a lie, even if this might end tomorrow.