Chapter 18

Chapter 18

“There was definitely something wrong with Lavinia this afternoon,” Emily said, as the two cousins sat in the garden later that day, enjoying the last of the evening sun.

“I’ve been dying to tell you – you’re right,” Juliette said, and now they were alone. She told Emily what had happened in the shrubbery and what she and Alexander had overheard.

Emily listened in astonishment, shaking her head as Juliette’s explanation came to an end.

“Then there’s definitely something untoward about it all – and it’s her who’s at fault,” Emily said.

“It would seem so, though we still don’t know what,” Juliette replied.

“Poor Nicholas. What did Alexander say about it?” Emily replied.

At the mention of Alexander’s reaction, Juliette felt a sudden sense of sadness. She had thought a lot about Alexander’s words, and about her own feelings, too. She wondered if she had been too quick to cling to the prospect of a romance with Alexander, given her disappointment over Nicholas. And having said what he had said, she could only believe she had read too much into what had passed between them.

“He said… well, he said it would be to our advantage. We could put an end to the ruse,” she said, shaking her head sadly.

Emily looked at her sympathetically.

“Oh, I see. Well… have you made it clear you don’t have feelings for Nicholas?” she asked, and Juliette nodded.

“As clear as I can, yes. Well… I haven’t exactly… oh, I don’t know,” she said, sighing, flinging up her hands in exasperation.

It was all so complicated – she had made it complicated and now she was paying the price for rushing into something she now regretted. Or rather, it was not a regret as to her feelings for Alexander, but the manner in which they had arisen.

Had she held back, the two of them might naturally have found romance together. But as it was, it seemed Alexander was ready to break the apparent courtship in order to free her for a match with Nicholas — despite her words to the contrary.

“You should talk to him – let him know your feelings,” Emily said, but Juliette shook her head.

She feared it would be impossible, and she had no wish to embarrass herself by telling Alexander something he would not reciprocate. He would only think she was treating him as the second prize – a substitute for what she really desired and could not have.

“I don’t know, Emily. It doesn’t feel… right,” she said.

But before Emily could reply, a commotion at the door onto the veranda caused them both to look up in surprise. It was Juliette’s mother, followed by her father – the two of them exclaiming to one another as Juliette and Emily rose to their feet.

“Oh, it’s too terrible – I thought she had another ten years in her,” Juliette’s mother was saying, wringing her hands as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Now, my dear. Please – try to stay calm,” Juliette’s father was saying, but the viscountess appeared inconsolable.

“What’s happened, mother?” Juliette exclaimed, as she and Emily hurried over.

The viscountess was sobbing uncontrollably, and it was Juliette’s father who now furnished them with an explanation.

“It’s your grandmother, Juliette. I’m sorry to say, we’ve just received word of her death,” he said, as Juliette’s mother let out another wail.

“Oh, and I wasn’t with her at the end. How terrible, how cruel – I should’ve been there,” she exclaimed, as Juliette now put her arms around her to comfort her.

Her grandmother was a formidable woman – though kindly, too. On the death of Juliette’s grandfather, she had refused all offers of help, and insisted on remaining at the family estate in Cornwall. She had lived alone – apart from a retinue of servants – for the past twenty years, and the family had assumed she would easily last another twenty years.

But news of her death brought with it the sense of an ending – she had always been there, and to think of her not being there was the strangest of feelings.

“Oh… grandmother,” Juliette said, raising her hand to her mouth in astonishment, and Emily did the same.

Emily was Juliette’s maternal cousin, and thus they shared the same grandmother. Emily had lived with her for a while following her own mother’s death, and now she pulled out her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.

“How terrible,” she exclaimed, as Juliette’s mother continued to sob.

Juliette glanced at her father, who sighed.

“It’s likely we’ll hold the funeral in London – Cornwall’s far too remote to expect any kind of numbers to travel down. But your grandmother insisted on living there until the bitter end,” the viscount said, shaking his head.

“It was her wish after my father died – we couldn’t begrudge her that. Oh, but it’s too awful. Why wasn’t I there? I should’ve been there,” Juliette’s mother exclaimed, and now she broke down into another fit of sobs, as Juliette put her arm around her.

“Come now, mother. Let’s get you inside. You’ve had a terrible shock,” she said, and she and Emily now led the viscountess inside, leaving Juliette’s father shaking his head.

He was not an emotional man, but Juliette knew her mother would feel the loss deeply. She had been close to her mother and had written to her almost every day. Recently, she had talked of going to Cornwall for the winter and had made plans for Juliette and Emily to join her. But now, there would be no happy reunion, and Juliette could do nothing but try to comfort her mother as best she could.

“You weren’t to know, mother. How could you? And even if you’d received word of an illness, it would’ve taken you several days to get to Cornwall, by which time it might’ve been too late anyway,” Juliette said, glancing at Emily, who nodded.

“Juliette’s right, Aunt Agatha. You mustn’t upset yourself like this. There was nothing else you could’ve done,” Emily said.

They spent the rest of the day reasoning in this way, and all thoughts of Nicholas and Alexander were gone. The family went into mourning, and Juliette and Emily replaced the bright colors of their new dresses with the somber tone of black. Their mother could do nothing but weep, and it fell on Juliette and her cousin to assist the viscount with the funeral arrangements. The days passed, and Juliette thought of little else but the immediacy of the situation.

“I think that’s the last of the letters and it is announced in all the periodicals. I think anyone who needs to know will know by now,” Juliette said, as she sealed the final envelope in a pile of correspondence informing their wider of acquaintances of her grandmother’s death.

“And I’ve finished the orders for the flowers. I told your father I’d see to it – men don’t have an eye for such things,” Emily said, and Juliette smiled.

“No. If it was up to father, she’d be buried with the merest of ceremony and absolutely no excess,” Juliette said, shaking her head.

“And that’s why we’re the ones organizing things,” Emily replied.

Juliette nodded. Between them, they had seen to everything, and with the funeral to take place in two days’ time, all the arrangements were now made.

“Precisely. And I think we’ve done a rather good job of it. Your wedding will be simple in comparison,” she said, and Emily blushed.

She was about to reply when a knock came, the drawing-room door opened, and the butler announced a visitor.

“The Marquess of Cavendish, my lady,” he said, and Juliette looked up in surprise.

With everything going on at home, Juliette had almost forgotten what was happening in the wider world, and any thought of Nicholas and Lavinia had been pushed aside. She rose to her feet, not knowing how to react to Alexander’s unexpected arrival.

“I’ll go and check on your mother,” Emily said, and Juliette had no choice but to receive Alexander alone, as Emily now hurried out of the drawing room and Alexander entered.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I wanted to leave you in peace to mourn. I was so very sorry to hear about your grandmother, Juliette. I offer you my sincerest condolences,” he said, giving a curt bow.

“That’s very kind of you,” Juliette replied.

She had not expected him to come. There was no compulsion for him to do so. If this was a ruse, she had no right to expect his support, even as her heart was now touched by the fact of his presence. It was a kindness, one she was grateful for, and now she offered him a seat by a window.

“One never really knows what to do in these situations. I’m sure it’s been very hard for you all. I see you’re in the midst of preparations,” he said, glancing at the piles of letters on the desk.

“Emily and I offered to do so for father. He’s got other business to attend to, and my mother… well, she’s terribly distraught. She blames herself for not having been there,” Juliette said, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Juliette. Your mother’s a good woman. She shouldn’t blame herself for anything. And what about you? Are you… bearing up?” he asked.

There was a genuine note of concern in his voice, and Juliette was reminded of the fact it was he, and not Nicholas, who had called on her. She had not even received a note of sympathy from either him or Lavinia, despite Henrietta having written – and visited – several times in the course of the previous days.

“I was close to her – we wrote to one another often. But I haven’t seen her in over a year. It’s taking a while for me to come to terms with her loss,” Juliette admitted.

She had not wept as her mother had wept, but Juliette had felt the loss of her grandmother deeply. Arranging the funeral had kept her busy, but as the day approached, her thoughts turned to what her grandmother’s loss meant to her. The end of an era, the realization that even the most enduring of things are impermanent. Juliette had never lost anyone close to her before, and the death of her grandmother marked, as it were, a sense of change and passing.

“It will do. I was the same when my father died. There’s something… unsettling about it all. I likened it to the unsteadiness of a ship – the waters can be calm, plain sailing, and then suddenly, everything can change,” he said.

Juliette nodded. It was just how she felt, and now she nodded and gave a weak smile.

“It’s so kind of you to come,” she said, but he shook his head.

“Not at all. I wanted to come. I wanted to be a support to you. And I’ve got a proposition, too,” he said.

Juliette looked at him in surprise. She expected nothing from him – there was nothing to expect. There’s was an arrangement of convenience, and soon it would be over.

“There’s really no need,” she said, for Juliette was trying her best to remain composed – to not allow herself to be carried away with idle fancies.

“No, please – I want to help. I want to invite you, and your mother, and your cousin to Norfolk – when the funeral’s over, I mean. I’m intending to go back there. I can’t lodge with Gregory forever, and our London house hasn’t been properly opened up – you know how difficult servants can be about such things.

I’m tired of London, but I’m not tired of… you. Forgive me, I didn’t mean it like that. What I’m saying is, I’d be delighted if you’d accept. The fresh air of the countryside, the vistas across the wide-open sands towards the sea. I find it a tonic, and I think you will, too,” he said.

Juliette was entirely taken aback. There was no need for any of this – for any continuation of their ruse. They could quietly go their separate ways – he to Norfolk, and she to wherever she might choose. And yet now he was inviting her to his Norfolk estate, and it seemed to Juliette as though the ruse had once again turned into something more. It was confusing, and for a moment, she was inclined to refuse.

“Oh, but I don’t want to inconvenience you – or your mother. What would she say?” Juliette asked, and Alexander smiled.

“She thinks it’s a wonderful idea,” he replied, and Juliette smiled.

“Well… I’ll have to ask my mother. It’s her choice – and Emily, too. What about Gregory? The two of them are getting on so well,” she said, and Alexander laughed.

“He can come, too – your mother can chaperone you both. And you’d meet my sisters, too. Oh, do say yes, Juliette. You’d make me very happy if you did. I think it would do you good. You’ve spent so long… waiting for Nicholas. And now this tragedy, too. Think about yourself and your own happiness,” he said.

He was right, even as his words had taken Juliette by surprise. They made her question her previous conclusions, and now she felt even more confused than before.

“You’re right, yes… I don’t know… are you sure you want us to impose on you like this?” Juliette asked, for she could really find no excuse not to accept the invitation – as long as her mother was willing to agree.

“I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise. I think it’ll do you good. A death can take its toll – particularly a close death. I just want to help. I’m sure we’ll have a wonderful time together,” he said.

He smiled at her, and Juliette smiled back. He had a way of making her feel better – of instilling a confidence in her she had not experienced with other men. With other men, Juliette had always felt subordinate.

Hadn’t Nicholas kept her waiting and longing for word from him; some morsel to call her own? But with Alexander, there was no such question of subordination. He was the one making a request of her – offering her an invitation – and it would surely be churlish to refuse.

“I’m sure we will,” she said, and he nodded.

“Then that’s a yes, is it? I’m so pleased, Juliette. And I know my mother and sisters will be, too. But I mustn’t take up anymore of your time. You’ve got a great deal to see to, and you don’t need me getting in your way,” he said, rising to his feet.

But in that moment, Juliette would gladly have had him stay, and all the previous feelings she had tried to push away and dismiss now came flooding back. He had already done so much for her – whether as part of a ruse or not – and now she could only be grateful to him for this, too.

“Will you come to the funeral?” she asked, as he was about to leave.

He looked at her doubtfully.

“Do you really want me there? I’d hate to intrude,” he said, but Juliette nodded.

“I do want you there, yes. You’ve been such a support to me – in everything. I’d like it if you were there. If it’s not too much to ask,” Juliette said, and Alexander shook his head.

“It’s not too much to ask – not at all. I’d be honored,” he said, and taking her hand in his, he raised it to his lips.

A shiver ran through Juliette, and she blushed, hardly daring to imagine what this could mean. When he had left, Emily was quick to return to the drawing room, and Juliette stared at her in disbelief.

“What happened?” she asked, and Juliette shook her head, as though still in disbelief.

“We’re going to Norfolk,” she replied, and Emily’s eyes grew wide with astonishment.