Chapter 12

Chapter 12

“I thought the musicians played very well – one never knows until they begin, of course. I once employed a violinist who was missing three strings. You can imagine what it sounded like. I was ever so embarrassed,” Lady Rankin said, laughing as she now thanked Juliette and her mother for coming to the soiree.

It had been a select gathering, twenty guests who had enjoyed an evening of early baroque music in the gilded setting of Lady Rankin’s salon. Juliette, her mother, and Emily had been invited, along with Gregory and Alexander, and Nicholas and Lavinia. News of the apparent courtship between Juliette and Alexander was now widely spread, and from the look Nicholas had given them as he and Lavinia had arrived, it seemed to Juliette he was somewhat perturbed…

“Oh, how terrible for you. I can just imagine it,” Juliette’s mother said, tutting and shaking his head.

“I made sure he was never employed again,” Lady Rankin said.

Emily was talking to Gregory by the refreshment table, and Alexander was there, too, having just helped himself to a glass of punch. Juliette excused herself from her mother’s company and crossed the room to join them.

“Are you enjoying the evening?” Alexander asked, and Juliette nodded.

“Very much so. The performances were a delight. Are you?” she asked, for Alexander had appeared somewhat bored during the course of the evening – Juliette having found herself glancing over at him on more than one occasion.

He shrugged and sighed.

“I suppose so. I’m never very good at sitting still for long. I like to be doing things. It’s different at the opera – one can cheer and rise to one’s feet. But this… well, I’m pleased to see you, at least,” he said, and Juliette blushed.

It was difficult to tell where the act ended, and the truth began. She was glad to see him, too, and not simply because being in his company added to the illusion they were trying to create. She genuinely enjoyed his company, and she hoped he felt the same way about her. Emily and Gregory had now paired off, leaving Juliette and Alexander alone, and now they stood together by the window, looking out over the garden.

“Nicholas keeps looking at us,” Juliette whispered, and Alexander smiled.

“Then it’s clear he’s jealous,” he replied.

“But I don’t want him to be jealous. I just want… well, I’m still curious about Lavinia. I’m not sure I believe the story of a charging horse, do you?” Juliette asked.

“You think there’s some scandal involved? They seem happy enough together,” Alexander replied.

But Juliette was not convinced. Outward appearances were one thing, but Juliette had known Nicholas since they were children, and his behavior was not as she might have expected for a man apparently so very much in love. Something was not right, and despite now feeling confused as to her own feelings for Nicholas, Juliette had no desire to see him get hurt.

“I don’t know. There’s just something not right about it. I’ve known Nicholas all my life, and… well, I just didn’t expect him to return from Europe with a betrothal,” Juliette replied.

Alexander smiled.

“Or is it more the betrothal wasn’t yours?” he asked.

Juliette blushed. He was right, of course. However, she tried to dress it up. Juliette could not disguise the fact of her jealousy. It was a nasty word – a nasty feeling – but there was truth in it. Juliette was jealous of Lavinia. She had the one thing Juliette had longed for.

The one thing Juliette had put all her hopes in. There was no point in denying it, even as Juliette was now beginning to realize the folly of her previous desires. Nicholas was not the man she had thought him to be, or rather, he had never been the man she had made him into. Theirs had been a friendship and nothing more.

“Perhaps, but… he still keeps looking over at us. Do you think he’s beginning to regret his betrothal to Lavinia?” Juliette asked.

Alexander shrugged.

“I don’t know. Perhaps he is. But what can he do about it now? Unless there’s something truly to be discovered – some scandal or other – he’s made his choice,” Alexander said.

Juliette glanced over again at Nicholas and smiled at him. He smiled back, but there was something in his eyes – a longing, perhaps. Juliette was worried he had made a terrible choice – one he would live to regret. But if that choice had been forced on him, was there not something she could do to help?

“You’re right. I can’t trust my own judgment. It’s clouded,” Juliette said, and Alexander nodded.

“Shall we step outside? It’s getting rather stuffy in here,” he said, holding out his hand towards the door leading onto the terrace.

Juliette nodded, and the two of them stepped out into the evening air, where the sweet scent of the garden hung headily in the lingering warmth of the day.

“What a beautiful evening it is,” Juliette said, as she took Alexander’s arm.

The two of them made their way down the steps to the lawn, walking by the shrubbery. But when Juliette glanced back towards the house, she was surprised to find Nicholas and Lavinia had followed them outside.

“How curious,” Alexander said, as Juliette whispered the fact to him.

“Perhaps he realizes what he’s lost,” she said.

But in saying those words, Juliette was not filled with the sense of hope and anticipation she might have expected. Instead, she could feel only a sense of indifference at finding herself now playing second best. If Nicholas had been caught up in the romance of a European affair, it was Lavinia who was to benefit – Juliette had no intention of being the reliable second.

“Perhaps – and he was a fool not to recognize it,” Alexander replied.

At these words, Juliette’s heart skipped a beat. They were alone and out of earshot of anyone. He did not need to say what he now said. There was no act to fulfill, and it seemed to Juliette as though his words were sincere. She looked up at him and smiled.

“And… what makes you say that?” she asked.

They had paused at the far end of the garden, where a sundial stood in the middle of a rose garden, the sweet scent of the flowers perfuming the air. The evening sun was casting dappled shadows across the lawn, and now, to Juliette’s continuing surprise, Alexander took her hand in his, still with a smile on his face.

“Well… I thought so in the orangery. There was something about. You’re different from other women, Juliette. I can’t quite describe it, but… well, I think you’re a remarkable woman, and I can only think Nicholas is a fool not to recognize it,” he said.

Juliette was flattered by his words, even as she did not think they bore any real truth. She had often thought of herself as different from other women, but not in such a way as to be attractive.

She was not interested in gossip and intrigue, the latest fashions, or being seen with the right people and in the right places. Such things held no interest for her, and having waited so long for Nicholas, Juliette had found herself forgetting how such things should even be.

“It’s very kind of you to say so. But you really don’t have to. We don’t need to pretend when we’re alone,” Juliette said, but Alexander shook his head.

“Juliette, I… I know we’ve not known one another for very long, but… I find myself wondering if it really is a pretense,” he said.

Juliette drew a sharp intake of breath, not knowing what to think or say. She had not expected him to say such a thing, and now she stared at him in astonishment, even as her own feelings towards him now felt confused.

“Well…” she began, but before she could reply, he had leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

Juliette had hardly been prepared for such an act, and in her surprise, she drew back, even as her lips had lingered for a moment.

“Juliette… he’s watching us,” Alexander whispered, and now Juliette understood – it had been an act, but a very convincing one…

“Oh… I’m sorry,” she said, and leaning forward, she kissed him herself, their lips lingering together for longer now, as Alexander slipped his arms around her waist.

Juliette wondered what Nicholas was thinking at the sight of her and Alexander kissing. Would he be jealous? As their lips parted, Juliette blushed. She felt foolish for having imagined Alexander’s words – said for the benefit of Nicholas, if he could hear them – had been anything else than a part of the act they had so expertly played thus far. But for a moment, Juliette really had believed them, and her own feelings had arisen accordingly.

“Jealousy always reveals itself,” Alexander whispered.

As they stepped back from one another, Juliette stole a glance back towards the house. Nicholas and Lavinia were standing on the terrace. Lavinia was talking animatedly, but Nicholas appeared not to be listening. His attentions turned towards the shrubbery where Juliette and Alexander were still standing together.

Juliette turned away in embarrassment, even as she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about. She knew what being seen in such a compromising position would mean, but if Nicholas was jealous of the fact, so be it – he had had plenty of time to do something about it.

“Yes… you’re right. I’m sorry, I…” she began, but Alexander shook his head and smiled.

“You played your part perfectly – worthy of the Covent Garden Opera House,” he said, and Juliette laughed.

But behind the laughter – and her words of apology – Juliette had felt something. She had wanted Alexander to kiss her, and as he had done so, Juliette had felt something for more than just the emotion of an act. For a moment, she had truly believed he had desired the kiss, and that his words had been sincere.

And more so, she had wanted to feel the same, sharing in the moment, not as an act, but as a truly meaningful encounter. She knew it was foolish, that it was not meant to be, and yet something in her had changed – a longing for that same sense of freedom she had felt when they had been strangers in the orangery.

“As did you,” she replied – for what more could she say?

He smiled at her and gestured towards the house.

“We should go back inside – we don’t want to be accused of scandal,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

Juliette nodded, and the two of them made their way back inside. Nicholas and Lavinia were now talking to Lady Rankin, and Gregory and Emily were sitting with Juliette’s mother. In the eyes of everyone in the room, Juliette and Alexander were a courting couple – they looked and acted as one, even as Juliette now knew Alexander was warming to the act. It was all a game to him, even as she feared her own feelings were getting carried away.

“It’s all for show,” she reminded herself, but the more time she spent with Alexander, the more Juliette was coming to realize her own feelings were less show and more truth.

Alexander had told her she was different from other women, and there was no doubting the fact he was different from other men. The two of them got on well, and their friendship – behind the ruse of their courtship – was blossoming. But as for their being anything more between them, Juliette could not tell. The way he had looked at her, the things he had said…

“When will I see you again?” Alexander asked, touching Juliette’s arm gently and bringing her back to her senses with a start.

“Oh… well, soon, I hope,” she said, and Alexander smiled.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and Juliette nodded.

“Yes, quite all right, thank you. It’s just… well, seeing him… that’s all,” she said.

But as they said their goodbyes that evening, Juliette realized it was not Nicholas on whom her thoughts lingered, but Alexander, and the memory of that moment when she had believed their ruse was no longer a deception.