Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“What did you mean by ‘another year?’ Did the two of you meet before?” Emily asked, as she and Juliette readied themselves for bed later that evening.

Juliette had danced again with Alexander - and with Nicholas - and the marquess had assured her he would not remain idle in the matter of their renewed acquaintance. It had pleased Juliette to think this - if only to make Nicholas realize what he had lost.

“We did meet, yes. At Lady Rankin’s ball a year ago. I didn’t tell you because it didn’t seem to matter. But… well, I’m glad to have made his acquaintance again,” Juliette replied, and her cousin smiled.

“You’re allowed to be happy, Juliette. Why not pursue a match with him? He obviously likes you,” Emily said.

Juliette blushed. The thought had crossed her mind, and yet it seemed far too early to consider such things - especially given her feelings towards Nicholas. It was all so confusing. She had spent so long pining and refusing her own happiness that she hardly recognized her own romantic feelings for anyone that was not Nicholas.

“Oh, but I don’t think so. It’s… no, he’s not…” Juliette stammered, even as Emily rolled her eyes.

“Goodnight, cousin - and try to imagine yourself finding the happiness you deserve,” Emily said.

As Juliette got into bed that night, she reflected on her cousin’s words. Emily was right. She did deserve to be happy. But an encounter in an orangery, and an unexpected dance or two, did not bring with it the sound of wedding bells.

She had allowed herself to get carried away before - the years she had spent waiting for Nicholas were proof of that - and if anything, Juliette was now more cautious as to her feelings, knowing how easily she could be hurt. But despite this reticence, there was pleasure in the thought of seeing Alexander again, and as she fell asleep, he was the last thought on her mind.

***

“What did you think of her? Of Lavinia, I mean?” Juliette asked, as she and Emily sat in the drawing room the next morning.

Emily smiled.

“She’s perfect, isn’t she? Or is that what she wants us to think?” she replied.

Juliette nodded. There was something not quite right about Lavinia. Emily was right. She was perfect, but behind the facade, Juliette had convinced herself something more was lurking - waiting to be revealed.

She still did not know how Nicholas and Lavinia had met - a vague story about her being rescued from the path of a charging horse hardly seemed credible, and Juliette was beginning to wonder if there was not some scandal attached…

“Perhaps so,” Juliette replied, just as a knock came at the drawing-room door, and the butler entered to announce a pair of visitors.

“The Marquess of Cavendish and Lord Gregory Beechwood, my lady,” the butler said.

Juliette and Emily looked at one another in astonishment. Juliette had asked Alexander not to be a stranger, but as for calling on them the very next day after the ball…

“Oh, goodness…” Juliette said, rising to her feet as Emily did the same.

“We hardly ready to receive them, are we?” Emily said, but there was no time for such considerations, as the two men were now shown into the drawing room.

Gregory was holding a large bunch of flowers, and it seemed the object of the pair’s visit had been their presentation. He held them out to Emily and smiled.

“These are for you,” he said, as Emily gasped.

“How… how lovely,” she exclaimed, as Gregory handed over the flowers - a large bunch of red roses, the scent of which now filled the air.

Juliette glanced at Alexander, their gaze meeting, and he smiled at her and nodded.

“I’m afraid I didn’t have time to buy any flowers,” he said, sounding somewhat apologetic.

“Oh, it’s quite all right. I wasn’t expecting… well, won’t you sit down?” Juliette replied, feeling quite overwhelmed by the sudden appearance of the stranger - the stranger who was no longer a stranger…

The four of them sat down, and Juliette watched as Emily and Gregory had eyes only for one another. She felt a little awkward, not knowing what to say, even as Alexander now cleared his throat.

“I wonder… perhaps the four of us might take a walk in the park,” he said.

Juliette felt relieved. It was a good idea - if only to prevent Emily and Gregory from disappearing into one another’s gaze.

“Lovely, yes - that’s a very good idea,” Juliette said, rising to her feet and clearing her throat.

Emily looked up in surprise, her attention taken by Gregory, who was also enraptured

“Yes… how nice,” she said, still with her gaze taken by Gregory.

Alexander now led the way, the four of them riding in the marquess’ carriage to Hyde Park, where they walked in a group down a long avenue of trees, past other promenading couples. Emily and Gregory walked arm in arm, and now they paired off, the two of them walking ahead as Juliette and Alexander held back.

“He’s talked of nothing else but her since last night,” Alexander said, and Juliette smiled.

“They make a delightful couple. She’s my dearest friend, as well as my cousin,” Juliette said, as she walked next to Alexander, wondering if he would offer her his arm.

It felt strange to be conversing in this way - knowing one another after all this time. Juliette had often wondered about the “stranger,” but now she knew him. The air of mystery was gone. He was pleasant - charming, even - and yet Juliette’s mind was still on what it should not have been. She was thinking about Nicholas, and now she even found herself comparing the two men, something she knew to be entirely unfair.

“I’m glad we’ve finally made a proper introduction. It was foolish to remain strangers, but… well, one never knows how tongues wag,” Alexander said, and Juliette nodded.

It was true, and she purposefully avoided the prospect of an introduction for just that reason. If they were seen together now, Juliette knew what would happen. Assumptions would be made, and despite the innocence of their companionship - acting as chaperones to Emily and Gregory - there was no doubt in Juliette’s mind as to the rumors that would persist.

“Quite so. I was trying to avoid being introduced to men,” Juliette replied.

He looked at her curiously and smiled.

“Really? And why’s that? Don’t all young ladies want to be introduced to men?” he asked, and Juliette laughed.

“It rather depends on the man in question,” she replied.

Alexander blushed, and now they continued their walk, following Emily and Gregory, who had now reached the end of the avenue of trees and were about to take a path along the edge of the boating pond.

But as they came to the corner where the path forked, another couple - a familiar couple - appeared. It was Nicholas and Lavinia, and Juliette knew she would not be able to avoid talking to them, as much as she wished she could.

“Out for a walk, are you? It’s a lovely day for it,” Nicholas said, greeting the two couples with a nod of the head and a smile.

Lavinia beamed at them, and Juliette forced a smile to her face, not knowing what to say, even as Alexander now spoke for them.

“How could we remain inside on a day like this?” he said, and Nicholas nodded.

“Absolutely. It’s far too nice for stuffy drawing rooms or libraries. I must say, I miss the continental air, but… well, Hyde Park provides an adequate substitute, I suppose,” he replied.

They exchanged further pleasantries before parting ways, and as Emily and Gregory walked on arm in arm, Juliette looked back at Nicholas and Lavinia and sighed. Alexander must have noticed, for now he looked at her with a curious expression on his face.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

Juliette might well have denied it, telling him there was nothing wrong, and he was mistaken. But she had kept her feelings for Nicholas bottled up for so long, she knew she needed someone to talk to about them. In the orangery, it had felt as though she could have talked to Alexander about anything and he would have understood.

There had been a sense of intimacy between them, despite their being complete strangers. It was a curious feeling, but one she now felt again - as though she could trust him, even as she barely knew him.

“It’s just… well, I think there’s something wrong between them. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But it doesn’t feel right,” Juliette said.

Whatever happened, she cared about Nicholas, and the thought of him making a mistake in marriage was simply awful. Juliette did not know what was wrong, but something did not feel right, even as she now feared Alexander would think she was being foolish.

“It’s certainly curious - to return from Europe with an English bride. One wonders what she was doing there - unaccompanied. It’s not my place to speculate, but… well, I don’t know. You care about him, though, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes,” Alexander said, and Juliette blushed.

She did not want to offend him, or for him to think she had no interest in him. But Alexander was right. She did care about Nicholas, and the thought of him making a terrible mistake filled her with dread - even as it was hardly her place to pass comment.

“I do… we were childhood friends, and… well, I just don’t want him to be hurt, that’s all,” Juliette said, and Alexander smiled.

“You’re a thoughtful person, Lady Juliette. I can tell. But… you have to let him make his own mistakes. Or are you in love with him?” Alexander asked.

At these words, Juliette gasped - it was an extraordinary thing to ask, and hardly appropriate, even as the blush rising on her cheeks answered it.

“I… well, perhaps I was, yes. But… not anymore. I mean… he went off to the continent,” she replied, and now she explained something of the hurt she had felt at Nicholas’ choice, even as her words felt woefully inadequate to express the raft of feelings she had felt in the months and years gone by.

It was hard to explain how it had made her feel, even as Juliette knew she would live with the consequences of those feelings for a long time to come. She could not simply cast aside her feelings for Nicholas.

They would remain, even as she knew they could now never be acted on. The thought of Nicholas discovering how she felt filled her with dread, but something about Alexander told her she could trust him, for she had no genuine reason to do so.

“You’ve suffered a great deal for your feelings,” Alexander said, as Juliette’s explanation came to an end.

She blushed, nodding, for it was the truth.

“Yes… well, I suppose… you must think I’m so foolish,” she said, but to her surprise he shook his head and smiled.

“Not at all, no. It’s entirely natural to feel… bereft. I don’t know if your fears are grounded in any truth, but… well, perhaps there’s more to what you see than how it appears to others,” he said.

They had completed a circuit of the boating pond, and Gregory and Emily were waiting for them by the turning onto the avenue of trees. Juliette would gladly have continued talking to Alexander, but she did not want to continue such a personal conversation in front of the others, and now they were forced to cut short their conversation in favor of parting niceties.

“I can’t believe we’ve been walking for so long. Hasn’t it been wonderful?” Emily said, smiling at Juliette, who nodded.

She had enjoyed her conversation with Alexander, even as it had merely been an unburdening of her feelings towards Nicholas. She felt better for it - glad to have found the words to articulate what she was feeling, even as a solution had not been forthcoming. Alexander now smiled at her, and she nodded to him, taking his hand for a brief moment.

“And do say you promise to accompany me to the opera, Emily,” Gregory said, and Emily nodded.

“I will, yes. We could all go,” she said, and with that promise, they parted ways.

As Juliette and Emily made their way back through the park, Emily could talk of nothing but Gregory. It might have been nauseating, had Juliette’s own thoughts not been so preoccupied with Alexander.

He had listened to her - really listened to her, just as he had done in the orangery. It had been a pleasant change from other men - even Nicholas - and there was no doubt in Juliette’s mind she felt better for having unburdened herself in such a way.

“You and Gregory are getting on very well, aren’t you?” Juliette said, as they walked home from the home - having chosen to do so over Alexander’s offer of a ride in his carriage.

Emily smiled.

“I like him. He’s… different to other men,” she said.

“That’s what I always thought about Nicholas, too,” Juliette replied.

“But he turned out to be just the same, didn’t he? But you and Alexander were getting on well, weren’t you? You must’ve talked for over an hour,” Emily replied.

Juliette blushed. She did not like to admit she had spent most of that time talking about Nicholas, and now she could only assume Alexander thought her terribly foolish. It embarrassed her to think of it, knowing there was so much else she could have talked about, rather than a man who would never reciprocate the feelings she felt for him.

“We did, yes… he’s… very kind,” she said, and Emily raised her eyebrows.

“Is that all he is? Don’t you like him?” she persisted.

Juliette had spent so long telling herself she only had eyes for Nicholas - her thoughts entirely focused on him, even as other men had come and gone - that the thought of allowing herself to think of other men, even now, felt like a betrayal.

“I… well, yes, I do. He’s very nice, isn’t he?” she said, and her cousin groaned.

“Oh, Juliette. Put these thoughts of Nicholas out of your mind and enjoy yourself. He’s going to marry Lavinia whether you like it or not, and you might as well enjoy yourself in the meantime. Don’t you think?” she replied.

Juliette nodded, and in the days to come, she thought a great deal about her cousin’s words, knowing she was right.