41

E verything had gotten much more overwhelming than I had ever expected. Emotions tangled with logical thought and the sudden urge to protect them from what could come was overwhelming. I stood before that door, covered in cobwebs, the rotting wood waning against the hinges. It pulsed, alive and oozing darkness into the air around me.

I swallowed tightly and felt the static spark over my palm as I lifted my fingers to the door knob. It appeared often, mostly when the house was trying to punish me for something or remind me that, no matter how hard I tried, this was my home and I was never leaving.

You're safe here. Why would you want to leave?

The Manor started to pulse with poisonous energy that coated my skin with a sticky film. It was a constant droning warning that we were never alone, no matter how good those small moments with Koen felt. We were constantly being watched.

Koen stormed into the room to the left of the shadowed hallway I hovered in and I followed him, closing the door behind me.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly. Fear crippled my bravery more often than not. Matthew used to get so loud in moments like these, and anger wasn't an emotion I managed very well. My own or others.

" Nách mór an diabhal thú !" Koen jumped and braced himself on the dresser. "You're quiet."

"My apologies." I tucked my hands behind my back, watching his shoulders heave steadily. His fingers tapped against the old wood before he turned to look at me.

"No, I'm sorry." He ran his hands through his hair. "I shouldn't have been slamming around." He rubbed the frustration from his eyes and inhaled one final breath, deep and calming that time. "I'm going with Wes on a hunt for a couple days."

My heart sank before I could stop it from doing so.

The attachment I wanted to deny was so plainly carved into my heart.

It was foolish of me, I knew that, but I couldn't help myself when Koen was around. He was so sweet and adventurous. He made me feel alive. Perhaps my emotions were heightened because of it, but I craved the rush of endorphins. I would miss him when he was gone, a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time.

"Is that wise with him being so angry at you?" I asked him.

"We hunt angry at each other more often than not. It'll be fine, Blossom." He looked away from me as his sentence trailed off.

"I'm sure." I tried to smile.

"Don't worry about us. This is what we do." He shrugged his shoulders, moving forward and collecting me in his arms.

Koen was warm, his arms muscular, his fingers tracing along my back as he gripped me tightly to balance himself in the moment. I could feel his apprehension. It seeped from him in soft, tiny, practically unnoticeable trembles.

"I think you're just worried about missing me." He steeled his nerves and lifted his head from where it had been buried against my shoulder. "It's adorable that you care so much, I'm flattered."

"Me?" I laughed as he lifted my chin with a finger and stole a quick kiss that left me wanting more. It was hard to deny with the lingering taste. "I'm a monster. I don't miss people."

It was a joke, but Koen's brows furrowed at the response. His jaw tightened as he scanned my face with concern.

"Don't let Wes get to you," he said. "Give Clay some wiggle room, he'll surprise you."

"I think I should give no wiggle room to anyone at this point," I said, stepping back from him.

"Mmm." he nodded. "It's too late." He shrugged. "Wes is already in your head. Whatever he said to you is bullshit. He's just scared."

"Fear doesn't eliminate the possibility that he's right about me, Koen." I struggled to explain that I may not feel like a monster around him. Wesley's words did hold fact: Whatever I was, it wasn't natural and by no means should I be considered anything less than dangerous.

And mine.

Koen felt the Manor that time, the way the walls seemed to breathe out a gust of hot air. He stared at the walls with caution and waited until it was done.

"It doesn't eliminate the possibility that he's wrong either."

"Sweet, golden-hearted boy, you're too optimistic for this world." I forced a smile to my face for him. "What are you hunting?"

"Vampires," he said, backing away from me and grabbing a few shirts from the dresser for his bag. "It's a small nest. We shouldn't be more than a couple of days."

"You make it sound easy," I said, leaning against the door as my hands tangled nervously. It was something that ate at me more than I wished it would, and nothing I told myself consoled the feelings of dread. So casually ready to kill whatever they deemed dangerous and forbidden. What happened when I became precisely that?

"It's not, but it's second nature to us." He looked up from his bag.

"Killing?" I huffed as I picked at the dirt under my nails.

"Killing vampires ," he corrected, and I could feel his rising frustration with my questions.

He stopped shoving clothing in his bag and straightened out, turning his body to look at me. "You're not a vampire, Florence. You don't drink blood. You don't kill people for fun. Why do you look like I slapped you?" He asked, that god-forsaken dimple forming on his cheek as his lips formed a lazy smile in defense of the tension that formed a wall between us.

I wanted to explain to him that trusting them was more complex than I wanted it to be. Even though he had been so sweet to me, remembering that we were of two different worlds was–in fact–like a slap. But his green eyes begged forgiveness for a crime he hadn't even committed, not out loud.

"Nothing," I said instead. "I'm just nervous, is all. It's been a long time since I had someone other than myself to worry about." I allowed my lips to curl into a smile that mimicked his.

"I knew you were worried." He winked and zipped up his bag. "I'll be back before you know it and, with Wes gone, you'll have a chance to work with Clay without the looming grump."

Koen's hand carefully wrapped around my throat, thumb brushing my jaw as it worked back into my hair, and he squeezed gently. He brought his lips to my forehead, soft and promising of a better future. "Give us a chance to prove Wes wrong before you start caving to his assumptions and push us away. This may be new, but…" He sighed, cocking his head to the side quickly. "But it's gaining momentum, and even if you don't trust him, trust me?"

Do not.

The Manor cried out as it sensed the betrayal in my heart, but I couldn't stop it. Even as the floorboards rattled. My heart called out to Koen, searching in the darkness of my eternity for a place to rest.

"I'll do my best," I answered him honestly.

"Good girl." He smiled, kissing me again.

It was slower that time as his lips grazed over mine and his hand cupped my jaw carefully in his fingers, pulling me forward into his touch. I lost myself in the kiss, not worrying about the before and afters. It was careful but relentless and, for the first time since I had become trapped, I was starving.

"Could make a man care less about bloodthirsty vampires." He pulled back and loosened his grip on my face.

It should have made me happy, even giddy like any infatuation would, but my heart sank as he smiled at me like I was made of pure innocence. I knew more of the evils of this world than he imagined.

"Be safe, please." I smiled and brushed my fingers over his bottom lip. "I'm growing rather fond of this."

He didn't say another word. He stole a quick kiss and was out the door before my heart had time to come down from the clouds I was soaring above. I felt like I was flying but the fear of plummeting to the surface was nipping at my heels and, as I listened to the front door slam shut, I realized my descent was coming sooner than later.