Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Rosie

All I wanted was him.Work, food, sleep… my life downstairs… nothing felt like it mattered except Julian. I wanted to stay here for a lifetime. A fairytale gone crazy.

I stared over at him as he made our coffee, so loved up I could have screamed it from the rooftops.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said, his morality still eating him up. “More specifically, I shouldn’t be doing this.”

Saying it out loud wouldn’t make any difference. The energy in the room was already electric, ready to blow. My skin was prickling, nipples hard, and my clit was demanding, instinct taking over as I closed the distance. He was stirring our drinks when I reached his side, and I knew his body was as desperate as mine. The want in his eyes said it all.

“Rosie–” he began, still trying to clutch at his resolve, but I shook my head. I wasn’t listening.

I wanted him to claim me. I was done with my innocence.

My hands roved over his chest, and that was enough. He succumbed, hands reaching for me in return and ripping the shirt from my shoulders. He lifted me up, sitting me right next to the mugs on the counter, and I spread my legs, already panting as he peppered his beautiful mouth up my thigh.

He was rougher with my pussy this time. His tongue was fierce and wet, and fuck, I was done for… lost. I gripped the counter, clumsy, and the mugs went tumbling, smashing and spilling coffee all over the floor. But Julian didn’t care, or so much as flinch, just kept working his mouth against me. He was as done for as I was.

I felt feral as I braced myself, needing more – praying that he’d fuck me.

“Do it. Please!” I said but he broke the contact enough to shake his head.

“No.”

“PLEASE!” I had to shout. “Julian, please!”

He groaned as he lapped at me.

“PLEASE!” I shouted again, slumping back against the wall. I wasn’t sweet Rosie here. I didn’t want to be a virgin. I didn’t want to be an innocent little girl anymore.

“You aren’t ready. You aren’t prepared to take it yet,” he said. But he was wrong. I was ready, and I needed to show him.

There was only one way I could think of.

I shoved him away, and I got my fingers ready. He watched, shocked as I spat on them, but I didn’t care. I was going to show him I could take the intrusion. I slid my hand between my legs, three fingers ready to fuck my own pussy, but he was too quick. He grabbed my wrist and held it firm.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

It was the first glimpse I had of the fire in him. The power that must have shown itself to Scottie this morning. Julian was almost regal, with a dark authoritative glare as he shook his head.

“I’m being deadly serious, Rosie. Don’t you dare.”

My stare must have been so soft against his. My voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“Please…” I said and I could see the battle raging inside him. “Please, Julian. Fuck me, then. It’s what I want. I swear.”

He weighed it up, his eyes flicking from mine to my pussy.

“I am ready,” I said. “I want you to take me.”

I could have cried with relief when he gave me the slightest hint of a nod.

“Alright. Not here, though. Not like this.”

He lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom, dropped me onto the bed and sat down next to me and asked the question I should have seen coming.

“Are you on contraception?”

I shook my head. “No. I didn’t expect to be needing it.”

He closed his eyes, his internal battle returning.

“I don’t have any condoms.”

I reached up and touched his face.

“I don’t care.”

His stare was so fierce that it almost burnt my eyes.

I repeated myself.

“I don’t care. There is the morning after pill, and I am due on my period, and–”

“This is lunacy,” he said, interrupting me, but all I could do was smile.

“Maybe it is, sure, but I don’t care.”

“This is lust talking. Not common sense.”

“So was threatening a guy’s life this morning… but you did that for me.”

He looked at me like I was a princess. He stroked my face in return.

“That wasn’t lust talking, Rosie.”

“No? Then what was it?”

“That was… love.”

Love.

I couldn’t believe he said that.

“Do it, then,” I said. “Show me a different kind of love. Be my first.”

“You drive me fucking insane,” he said.

“Ditto,” I replied.

He got to his feet, pushed his trousers down, along with his boxers, and kicked them away, standing before me like a naked Adonis. I only had a few seconds to admire him before he climbed on top of me and landed his mouth on mine, kissing me with absolute passion.

“Don’t prepare me for it,” I said between kisses. “I want your cock to be the first thing inside me.”

He was breathing hard in my face, as he positioned himself. I felt his huge dick working against my pussy, and I was shaking with nervous excitement.

“Nice and steady,” he said.

I cried out as he worked his hips and began to push inside me, but I wouldn’t let him stop. Not for anything. I moaned for him, and I whimpered for him, and his big hands gripped my ribs. I felt the pain, the stretch, and I saw the adoration in his gaze. Felt that adoration – love – as he pushed some more.

“Fuck,” he said, “you’re so fucking tight.”

He wasn’t wrong. It burned so bad it felt like he was trying to get his fist inside me. I pushed against him and that was the encouragement he needed.

“Fuck,” he said again, and I cried out, a beautiful cry and it really did feel like something had snapped inside me as his cock filled me.

There were no more words.

My body moved against him, taking his cock deeper and deeper until he cried out with a “Fuck, yes!” and pushed right in, all the way.

I twisted my head to the side, teeth gritted, whimpering as he ground his hips some more.

He’d done it. He was inside me. I wasn’t a virgin anymore.

Sex wasn’t like I expected. Julian didn’t pump back and forth like I’d seen on video. He circled his hips rather than moving in and out, and it was the strangest sensation – a burn of pain mixed with pressure, in a spot that I didn’t know existed, deep inside.

I was whimpering with both hurt and need at the same time.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, braced up on his arms.

I shook my head. “No way.”

“Good. It would kill me if I tried.”

The passion in his words spurred me on like a frenzied version of me that had never seen the light. I circled my hips in counter to his, letting the pressure build and build through the pain. I clenched my pussy as tight as I could, and he groaned. Loud.

I was so proud of myself as his breaths became hisses, and his cock started pumping back and forth. He was reaching the edge and I was deliriously happy, smiling as he planted his mouth on mine. I kissed him as he came inside me, my tongue still seeking his as he grunted and groaned and lost control. It was bliss. Pure absolute bliss, and I was alive. I was me. I was HIS.

I was the happiest girl on the planet as he peaked and exploded. And then he collapsed. His full weight on mine. We lay there, in the glow, with his cock still inside me.

I loved his heat. I loved him.

I whimpered as he finally pulled out and moved down the bed to take a look at me. My pussy was throbbing sore.

“Ow,” I said still wincing, then shuffled enough to see blood on his new white sheets. “Shit, sorry,” I said, but he looked at me with such adoration that it gave me a lurch in my stomach.

There was something else there in his eyes, too…

They were dark and raw as he moved his head between my legs.

“What are you–” I began, before insanity piled on top of insanity.

His tongue lapped my used, bleeding pussy in one long sweep.

“More,” he said. “Push down, sweetheart.”

I did what I was told, felt wetness between my thighs, slick, and I knew his cum must be spilling out along with my blood.

And there he was… the filthy man upstairs. I saw the him that must have taken the sordid photos of the girl in the wardrobe. He cleaned up my blood and his cum with his tongue, his stare on mine, and I was open mouthed, lost. Possessed by the dirty sight of him.

“I told you,” he said when he was done. “I’m not the man you think I am.”

But fuck that. I wanted it all along with him. I wanted the filth as much as he did.

With desperate hands I pulled him up, and I kissed him. I didn’t want to be an innocent little girl. I wanted to be dirty. Like him.

We were both gasping by the time he finally broke our messy kiss. He rolled onto his back and took hold of me, hugging me tight to his side.

“My God. This is madness.”

The tension eased to a stillness, with just our breaths sounding out as the reality of the situation really dawned.

Julian, the man upstairs, had taken my virginity… and then he’d cleaned up the mess. With his mouth.

I let my fingers stroke up and down his chest, still processing the fact that I had my saviour’s cum inside me. I was still revelling in the pain of the aftermath. My pussy was so sore that I knew I’d be wincing when I tried to walk.

I don’t know how long we were lying there, but there was peace amidst the craziness. I found I was smiling, laughing a little as he squeezed me tight.

Then I said the stupidest thing ever.

“Wow.”

He laughed along with me. A genuine laugh.

“Wow, indeed.” His eyes were warm on mine, that dirty lust gone. “I think it’s time for those coffees, don’t you? Let’s actually go through with them this time.”

He was so gentle as he helped me up from the bed. I was laughing as I flinched with every step, proud of how sore I felt after taking him. He left me standing just a moment as he took a fresh shirt from his wardrobe and buttoned me up in it. It was lovely, back in the zone of being taken care of.

My thighs were slippery as I padded through to the kitchen with his hand in mine.

“Stay there,” he said before navigating his way through the broken mugs. Still naked, he swept them up and wiped up the coffee, dumping the shards into the bin before grabbing two fresh mugs. He flicked on the kettle all over again. He was watching me as it boiled.

I had never seen true, real romantic love in someone before. Sure, I’d seen guys with my mum, and people hooked up at college, and I’d seen couples heading into the pizza place to grab their takeaways, but nothing so up close and personal as the way Julian looked at me across the kitchen. This was far more like one of my romance novels than anything I’d ever seen in the flesh. I’d sure love my fellow online readers to be able to get their hands on this story. They’d be cheering me on.

He looked at me with a mixture of things I couldn’t untangle. Care, attention, affection… and the force of lust that I was already besotted with. I’d had a glimpse of another side of him in the bedroom. An addictive one.

But it was only the beginning.

I wanted to see inside the heart and mind of Julian Lockley with the curiosity of Alice chasing the rabbit. I was already crazy about his strengths. The power of someone who would be willing to kill to keep someone safe. The quiet humility he carried so well. The sharp intelligence of a man who has pondered life over decades. Pondered his own guilt. Accepted his own wrongs. Held himself accountable for his actions.

It would have been so much better if I had the words to sum up just how grateful I was for everything he’d shown and given me already. Shame he was the English professor, not me. I’d have loved to have written him a glowing piece of adoration for everything he was and everything he’d blessed me with. Everything from a place to stay, to muesli in the morning, to coconut conditioner. For showering me with attention, and want, and making me feel like I was really worth something. For saving me from the evil of Scottie.

How could I have words for that? How could I show such a genuine thanks to someone who’s done all those things? More importantly – how could I ever let that person go?

I was pondering that while Julian was doing the opposite. His attempt to cling on to his idea of morality must have been niggling him. I could see it in his face.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this to you,” he said. “It’s not acceptable in the slightest. I should be hung, drawn and quartered.”

I sighed. “Do you want to do it?”

“Of course I want to. You are divinity personified.”

“Why not, then? Why fight it?”

He poured our second round of coffees.

“A whole host of reasons. A thirty-year age gap for starters, and a pure innocent girl who deserves better.”

“Change the record,” I said. “You still think I’m all that innocent after that in there?” I rolled my eyes, trying to break through his fresh round of guilt. “Stop giving yourself a hard time every five seconds.”

“Unfortunately, I deserve to give myself a hard time every single second, not every five.”

He handed me my coffee, and I took hold of his arm before he stepped away.

“Why fight fate?”

His eyes were so dark on mine. “Fate? That’s quite a statement.”

“I didn’t think I believed in it, but I do now. Fate sent me a hero out of nowhere.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not a hero, I can assure you. I’m the complete opposite.”

He was wrong. I was staring up at one. He just didn’t want to believe it.

“You’re my hero.”

“I’m very flattered,” he said, trying to brush it off, but I wouldn’t let him. I kept my grip on his arm.

“I mean it, Julian. I’m not joking. You’re a hero.” I laughed. “Better than any romance story I’ve read, and I’ve read a lot of them.”

“Yes, well, that’s probably because I’ve swept you into my own depravity. I shouldn’t take advantage of your gratitude.”

“You aren’t. You’re giving me what I want. If that’s depravity, I’m right there with you.”

“That would make us a very strange pair of soulmates indeed,” he said, and finally smiled.