Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Rosie

I awokewith a start to find Julian wasn’t lying in bed next to me. I put on my glasses and grabbed my phone to check the time. It was still early enough to see him before college. I was still in his shirt, smiling a happy grin as I found him leaning against the kitchen counter with a bowl of muesli. He was already dressed. Suited. Not a surprise, but… his hair was more styled this morning. His tie was knotted perfectly.

He looked gorgeous.

“Hey,” I said, feeling weirdly nervous.

“Hello,” he replied, and his smile put me at ease. He put his bowl down and went to the fridge. “What would you like for breakfast? I have bacon, eggs… how about another fry up? I have to leave soon, but I can get you started. Let’s get you an orange juice, too. How about that?” He paused with another smile. Looking me up and down. “I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful lying there.”

“I wasn’t snoring, then?”

“Ha, no. No. Although you’d still look cute as a snoring angel. Anyway, breakfast. What would you like?”

He was so attentive that it took me aback. I still wasn’t used to someone taking care of me.

I wasn’t actually feeling all that hungry. My stomach had flutters just looking at him.

“I’d love some of your muesli, please.”

“Are you sure? No fry up?”

“I’m sure,” I said. “Muesli is great.”

“Right,” he said. “Muesli it is.”

His bowl was still half full as he busied himself getting me mine. I watched him in fascination, enjoying the spring in his step. He seemed so different this morning.

“Here you go,” he said, handing me a bowl and a glass of juice.

“Thanks.”

“You look very fresh considering you only had a few hours of sleep,” he said.

“Yeah, I feel pretty rested.”

It was true. I did. Even though I should have been bleary-eyed and exhausted, I felt excited enough that I could have danced around the room. Already, I was close enough to Julian to want to stay here a lifetime. The memory of Scottie’s bullshit downstairs felt like it was buried in a pit, far away.

“I have to be off to work,” he said. “Please feel free to make yourself at home, of course. Take your time.”

“Thanks,” I said again, realising it was becoming a bit of a mantra. I was thanking him for so much it was getting unreal.

“You’re very welcome,” he said and rinsed his bowl in the sink.

He must have been way more tired than I was, but he wasn’t showing it.

I wished there was no work for him today, and no college for me. I wanted to curl up with him, and talk with him, and explore his body as he explored mine. There was so much I still needed to know. So many questions…

I wondered where exactly he worked, and who he worked with. I wondered what he was like in the office, and whether people thought he was as amazing as I did. I wondered what he did for true fun, and not this excuse for a life he’d plunged himself into in shame. He used to be an English professor, I knew, but not much else. Not really. Why did he become one? Did he like reading, like I did? What did he read? I knew he liked writing. So, what did he write? When? Why? How? I didn’t really know a thing.

He dried his bowl and put it back in the cupboard. “I’d best be going now.”

“I’ll take a shower,” I told him. “And then I’ll head downstairs. Scottie will be gone now.”

“Yes,” he said. “I’m sure he will be.”

He hovered as he passed me, and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to pull him close and tug him back to the bedroom, begging him to show me my first time and make me like the girl in the photos, but I couldn’t. It was too bright, and too early, and I was too gawky as I stood there.

“I’ll see you again soon,” he said and kissed me on the forehead before he walked on by.

Soon. It sounded quite vague.

“Wait…” I said, my bowl still in my hand as I followed him through to the living room. “When you say soon, do you mean… do you, um, want to see me again? As in have me here? Because I’d love to be up here with you and away from Scottie.”

“I’d love to have you here with me again,” he said. “But we need to make sensible choices. Let’s see how you feel about things when you are back at home this evening after work. Maybe things will be considerably calmer for you downstairs.”

I doubted that somehow. Scottie would be holed up with Mum, still in the stupid loved-up phase, rushing around after him like he was king of the world. I didn’t want to be a part of that. I didn’t want to see the nasty prick for the rest of my life. The thought of coming face to face with him again gave me shivers.

“We’ll see, then,” I said, not wanting to put more pressure at his door. I wanted to be here because he wanted me here, not because I was a little stray girl with nowhere else to go.

His eyes were smiling as he placed his hand on the doorhandle.

“Have a good day, sweetheart.”

“You, too.”

The apartment was so quiet without him. It felt almost forbidden to wash my bowl in his sink and put the kettle on for a coffee. The urge to know him only increased in his absence.

I looked around through new eyes, trying to get a feel for the man who’d treated me like a goddess last night. There was a pull into the mystery of everything. His past, his present, and his future. I wanted to be here a whole lot more…

I wanted to be with him.

I’d known it since before he’d played a tune with my body, but his touch had cemented it firmer than words. I wanted Julian. Crazy age gap or not. Seedy games, and a twisted family past or not. None of it would make any difference. My heart was already too invested in my saviour to want out.

I helped myself to a towel and took a shower before facing the music downstairs. I knew Scottie would be gone for work, but I’d have to see Mum as I got dressed for college, and I’d have to brave the deceit of playing down the truth. Scottie had more power over her than I did. He’d whisper in her ear and have her believe any lies he wanted to spin. I didn’t want to throw her into that drama. She dealt with enough already.

“Hi, Mum!” I called out as I stepped into our hallway.

I found her on the sofa with a coffee. She didn’t look at me, her fingers too busy tapping on her phone.

“You ok?” I asked, nerves spiking at the realisation she might ask me where the hell I’d been, but as it turned out, she didn’t. She was too caught up in her own news as she looked at me.

“Scottie’s got a job in Scotland. A new one. He got the offer this morning. On a load more money. He had to leave today, straight off.”

“Whoa.”

I sat down next to her, with a mash of different emotions. Relief for me, but hurt for her, because she’d no doubt hit the floor with him leaving. I couldn’t believe he was upping and leaving and dumping her already.

“Shit,” I said. “I’m really sorry.”

I expected sobs, but she smiled as another message came through.

“No, it’s ok. He’s not leaving me, he’s just leaving here. The job offer was just too good, and if he loves me, which he does, then it’ll be better for us. We’ll have a much better future when he’s settled up there. I might even go up there with him, when you’re finished at college. He says he wants that more than anything.”

Scottie was a liar. Wanting that more than anything meant nothing, and things felt off. Really off. I wanted to quiz her on what exactly he’d said, but I didn’t want to stab her with my words. She was happy for now. That’s all that mattered.

She put a hand on her heart like she was reading a marriage proposal when another message came through. I was blind as to what loved-up bullshit he was spinning her, but it was working. She seemed like she’d been pulled into an imaginary fairytale. I was just grateful that neither of us would have to see his nasty, weasel face in here for a while. Fate had been kind.

Mum didn’t notice that I’d already taken a shower when I disappeared into my room to get ready for college. She didn’t so much as ask where I’d been, just sat there in the same spot, still burning up as the messages kept buzzing. She barely noticed when I said goodbye and set off with my bag on my back.

I’d have happily called up Scottie’s new employer myself and given them a massive thank you, begging them to keep him up there for all time. Maybe miracles can happen. For the time being, a mini miracle was certainly a massive godsend.

College went by in a blur. I tried to focus, keeping my plain-faced mask up high while everyone chatted and gossiped around me. I did my lessons, doing my best to concentrate, but the swirl of events back home were prickling my senses. So much to take in… all of it good…

They say good luck comes in threes, and they weren’t lying.

One. Julian was gorgeous and I adored him. I adored us. I adored the man who was such a saint to me. Two. Scottie was gone, far away, and three, Mum wasn’t torn to pieces. At least not for now.

For once I felt like things were slotting into a world of good fortune. I was savouring every second as I set off on my way home. The dark clouds were giving me a break for once, so I let myself be happy. Life was kind.

I must have been smiling like crazy when Jayden appeared across the street, scoping out everyone walking away from college. I hoped he’d be as pleased as I was that his dad had been granted such an opportunity out of nowhere. But no. He wasn’t. He looked like he wanted me to burst into flames when he marched over, grabbing my elbow and tugging me aside.

“Hey! What the hell’s up?” I asked, but he kept his mouth shut until we were out of view, in the alleyway that led off to the sports field. It took him a few moments to collect himself.

“You already know what the fuck’s up!” he said.

I knew Scottie would be leaving Jayden alone for a bit, but a good opportunity was a good opportunity. There were phones and video calls, after all.

But wait…

There was more to it than that. There must have been. His eyes were raging. But this was none of my business. Not really.

“Jayden, seriously. If this is about your dad moving to Scotland, it’s got nothing to do with me or my mum.”

He looked at me like I was insane.

“You know full well he hasn’t gone to fucking Scotland! Cut the bullshit!”

I didn’t understand. My saucer eyes must have said it all, because he stared at me, trying to dig in deep.

“You’re going to have to explain things,” I said. “Because I don’t have a clue what this is about. As far as I know, your dad told Mum he’s been offered a new job in Scotland this morning, and he’s going right away. More money, great prospects. Tell him not to go, if you want, but that’s between you and him.”

Jayden sneered. “You are kidding, right? Don’t play fucking dumb!”

His rage triggered a flare in return. He was looking at me like I was garbage.

“I’m not playing fucking dumb about anything! What’s the problem here?”

My mind raced through things. Something wasn’t right behind the scenes, and if Scottie had an ulterior motive for fucking off somewhere… if he was being an asshole… if Jayden was blaming me or Mum for not keeping his dad around here…

“Is he fucking someone else?” I asked. “Is Scotland a cover for leaving Mum? Because if it is, he can at least be honest about it. Not leave her hanging on like he’s a true love from a distance. And that’s hardly my fault, is it?”

“HE’S NOT FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, AND HE’S NOT IN FUCKING SCOTLAND!” Jayden yelled, then cursed to himself and lowered his voice, “He grabbed his stuff this morning in a holdall and fucked off, because he HAD to.”

He looked suspicious again, like I really was playing dumb. But I wasn’t. I was still reeling, my brain trying to catch up with what was going on.

“Why would he have to?”

Jayden’s eyes were hot on mine.

“Because someone is out to kill him if he doesn’t.”

“What the–”

The panic was intense, because if someone was out to kill Scottie, what the fuck would that mean for my mum? Was she involved? Was she in danger? Was I?

I couldn’t hold back my own voice, shouting as loudly as Jayden.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAS YOUR DAD BEEN GETTING INVOLVED WITH?!”

“YOU!” he yelled back. “My dad has been getting involved with YOU, Rosie! And that freak of a psycho fuck who lives upstairs!”

My senses reeled to another level. I spoke my thoughts out loud, hit hard.

“The psycho fuck who lives…” My voice trailed off as his words kicked in. “You mean Julian? Really? You mean Julian? From apartment six?”

“YES! The freak upstairs! He told my dad he’ll fucking kill him if he doesn’t get the fuck out of town. And it’s about YOU! What the fuck did you tell the creep?!”

I was still trying to fathom what he was talking about. I still didn’t know.

“WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?!” Jayden yelled again, with his hands in his hair. “Because you told him SOMETHING. And that SOMETHING was enough that he’ll kill Dad over it, and he must have meant it, because Dad’s on the fucking run!”

I felt shivers up my spine. I tried to frame the craziness.

“You’re saying that Julian threatened your dad?”

“Yeah, that fucking creep! He held a knife to Dad this morning as he was off to work. I’m not fucking joking. A fucking KNIFE! Right in his ribcage!”

I would have laughed out loud at how ridiculous that sounded if my senses hadn’t tingled. Call it instinct… intuition… I don’t know, but I knew he was telling the truth.

“He was full on fucking serious!” Jayden carried on. “Dad wouldn’t have bailed if he wasn’t. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not a total pussy.”

I was still battling my mind as he launched into another stream.

“You should fucking know about this, because it was down to YOU! He told Dad to stay away from YOU!” He paused, his eyes still angry. “So, why?! Why the fuck did he tell Dad to fuck off because of you? What the fuck did you stir up?!”

I tried to compose my thoughts, but then, fuck it. I opted for the truth. There was only one reason.

“Your dad came into my room the other night and pinned me down on the bed. He told me to keep my mouth shut and not to cause any waves for him, or he’d make me suffer for it. HE was serious, too. HE meant it, Jay. HE would hurt ME if I even thought of calling him out for beating my mum!”

Jayden stepped back, shaking his head in hurt. His voice was nearly breaking when he said one simple word.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, SHIT!” I said. “He’s a violent piece of shit, Jay, and you know it. He hurts Mum, and he’d hurt me, too. Julian found out about it and rescued me. I guess it set him off somehow.”

“Somehow. Yeah, great. Somehow which meant he put a knife to Dad and threatened his life.”

Even in the carnage of the revelation, I felt myself burning up with a different heat. I tried to picture Julian there, ordering Scottie to stay away, from me, with a knife.

He’d threatened Scottie’s life for me. For ME.

I managed to get some words out.

“What’s happening now?” I asked Jay, and he shrugged.

“I dunno. Dad was freaking out, but he said not to tell anyone. He shouted me down when I said I was going to pull you up on it.”

“But you did it anyway?”

“Yeah, I did! Because I wanted to hear what the fuck was going on, direct from you!”

“My mum doesn’t know about any of this. So, what do you want me to tell her?”

“NOTHING!” Jay yelled, then leant in close. His anger was fading to hurt. “Just keep it a secret, please. I’ve already broken the fucking rules by opening my mouth. I don’t want that creep chasing around after Dad, or your mum kicking off, or the police being involved or anything.”

I stared into Jayden’s eyes, as everything sank in. I felt sick. Everything spinning.

Scottie was gone. On the run. Julian had threatened to kill him. Mum was in happy land, thinking Scottie was off on some career promotion up in the highlands. And me? I just didn’t know what to do.

Jayden regained his composure before I did.

“I mean it. Don’t tell your fucking mum. It’ll bring shit down on all of us.”

I managed a nod.

“Fine, yeah. I don’t want to bring shit down on Mum. She’s had enough already.”

Jayden repositioned his bag on his shoulders, and I saw the start of tears in his eyes.

“You want to stay away from that psycho upstairs,” he said. “He’s out of his fucking mind.”

He didn’t give me the chance to respond before he turned and walked away, and I didn’t call him back, because I couldn’t. What would be the point in going over the same insane ground?

I was practically sprinting when I rushed back to our apartment block. I couldn’t think straight as I opened the main door and shot up the stairs. Mum wasn’t in, she was working tonight, which was just as well as I was so wound up, I was pacing, still trying to understand.

Julian threatened Scottie’s life to keep him away from me.

My college mask crumbled to pieces, and for the first time in three years I called up the pizza house’s number on my phone.

“I’m sorry, but I’m sick,” I told the manager. “There’s no way I’ll make it in tonight.”

Luckily, Monday was our quietest day. Marcus would be able to manage.

I watched the clock, pacing through every minute, counting down the moments until I’d usually cross Julian’s path in the corridor. My heart was pounding, nerves on fire, everything tingling.

Out of shock.

Out of gratitude.

Out of love.

Out of… who fucking knows?

But I didn’t want to accost him in the corridor, in case anyone was around, so I waited, as calmly as possible, my eyes focused on the road outside through the window.

Finally, I saw him approaching with a cigarette in his mouth.

I pressed my ear to my front door so I could hear his footsteps pass on by, and then I counted down from one hundred, slowly, to make sure he’d get upstairs…

Fuck, how quickly I picked up my college bag when I reached zero. I slung it over my shoulder and stuck my head out into the corridor, checking for signs of neighbours. There were none, which was just as well, since I was bounding like a desperate gazelle as I locked up behind me and dashed upstairs.

My knuckles were tiny taps, sharp and fast. I was holding my breath as I heard Julian reach the other side. I was staring up with huge eyes as he answered the door.

I stepped on in and dropped my bag, and we stood, stare to stare, no words needed. He knew I knew, and I knew that he knew I knew, but it was all a tumble of emotions.

“You really did that?” I asked him.

“You shouldn’t know about it,” he said.

“Answer me, Julian. You really did that? You threatened Scottie?”

My saviour was deadpan for a heartbeat, and the true power in his eyes ate me alive.

“Yes, I threatened Scottie. I told him to get the fuck out of here and never come back. I had a knife to the cunt’s ribs, and he crawled away like a pathetic little wimp.”

It felt so weird to hear it said out loud from Julian himself.

“Would you have done it?” I asked. “Would you really have killed Scottie?”

Julian didn’t flinch. His eyes were pure.

“Yes, I’d have done it. I’d have happily broken his limbs one by one and ploughed a knife through his ribs. I still would if he dared to threaten you again.”

If he dared to threaten me again…

My hero stepped up closer.

“You’re safe now, Rosie. Scottie won’t be coming back. Not if he’s got even the slightest excuse for a brain.”

But I didn’t care about Scottie anymore, I didn’t want to hear the sound of his name, because there was only one thing on this whole fucking earth I wanted to do.

I threw myself into Julian’s arms with such force that I knocked him backwards. I was as desperate as it’s possible to be as I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, needing him more than life itself. I took hold of his shoulders, squeezing tight before I kissed him.

My lips met his like magic.

His body worked on instinct to support mine, and we were lost.

Consumed. Done for.

I kissed my saviour, and my saviour held me tight and kissed me right back.