Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

A LITTLE OVER a week had passed since her second wedding in front of Melrose Abbey. The memories of Scotland were fading away as though in a dream, Syd realized while waiting for her friends to arrive at the elegant Huntsford townhouse for tea. The townhouse, situated in one of London's most elegant squares, was far more magnificent than the one she had grown up in with her parents.

Their home had always been a shambles because of her father's spendthrift ways. Whatever funds came into the family coffers were quickly spent on gambling, speculation, and frivolities, leaving nothing to spare for repairs or basic necessities. Her mother also grabbed whatever she could, and Syd had no idea where those funds were squirreled away, for her mother never used them to improve the household. It was a wonder their home had not yet collapsed, for it was held together with little more than spit and her father's high hopes.

Syd's heart soared when her friends began to arrive. "Gory! Marigold! Come in. Oh, do come in. I have so much to tell you!"

She gave each a heartfelt hug, and then led them into the elegant drawing room where their tea service had already been set up.

Her favorite dowagers, Lady Withnall and Lady Dayne, arrived next, along with Marigold's aunt, Sophie Farthingale. The two dowagers had generously offered to sponsor a Season for her and Gory, while Sophie had been one of their stalwart supporters, encouraging their love of education in addition to the traditional accomplishments expected of a debutante.

This was not all that surprising since Sophie's daughter, Lily, was a highly respected scientist and renowned for her intelligence. While Sophie and her husband held no titles, their daughters and nieces, including Marigold who was a marchioness, had married well, so that she was now considered one of the most powerful matriarchs in London society.

The dowagers had started their matchmaking efforts with Adela first, gaining a reputation for success when Syd's shy friend had married a duke. That duke was London's most sought-after bachelor, Octavian's brother, Ambrose.

Syd had grown quite friendly with these powerful matriarchs, but she no longer required their assistance since she was now married to Octavian. However, she would need their help when their marriage ended.

If it ended.

Oh, it would end.

Was this not her nightmare about to come alive now that she and Octavian were back in London?

It was only a matter of time before disaster struck and he wanted out of their marriage.

Syd kept up a casual conversation with her friends while waiting for the Huntsford butler to serve them and then leave. As soon as the drawing room doors closed, she had yet to set down her teacup when the ever sharp Lady Withnall leaned forward and said, "Now, Syd. You must tell us everything that happened, and why you still look so unhappy."

"Are you unhappy with Octavian?" Gory asked with some surprise.

The others were now curious and stared at her.

"It is complicated. This is why I invited you here." She glanced at her buttered bread, wishing she could stuff it in her mouth and not speak. But this was important. Her stomach had been in knots all morning, and everything she ate had felt dry in her mouth. "I'm just sorry Adela could not be with us, but unearthing that trove of ancient bones is far more important than listening to my troubles."

Lady Dayne frowned. "You are newly married to a man who cares deeply for you, Syd. A smart, handsome, and accomplished man who has encouraged your forensic work at the Huntsford Academy. Why are you troubled?"

"This is what I have been asking myself." She let out a ragged breath. "I have no answer for you."

"Has he been unkind to you?" Sophie asked.

"No, he's been wonderful." She and Octavian had been back in London for almost a week now. They had fallen back into their daily routines which kept them busy. This was the excuse she gave herself for not seeing these friends until now or calling upon her parents.

Ah, yes.

Her parents.

She had to face them eventually and dreaded it.

With Sir Henry dead, her father had gained a reprieve from repaying his debts. Octavian had agreed to help him pay off those debts, but no one had yet taken charge of Sir Henry's affairs or come around to collect what had been due him.

Octavian was keeping close watch on the situation.

Meanwhile, true to form, her father had reverted to his scoundrel ways and was reportedly running up new debts.

How could her mother endure this?

A good daughter would have run to her side to offer solace and assistance, but she had not done this yet. She would in time, she supposed. However, she felt no urgency to lend aid to a mother had not lifted a finger to prevent her father's scheme to marry her off to the odious Sir Henry. In truth, Syd had the uneasy suspicion her mother had encouraged Sir Henry.

It was a dreadful thing to think ill of one's mother.

But her mother had never been loving or supportive, Syd was coming to realize. In truth, Marigold's aunt, Sophie, had shown more concern for her than her own mother ever had.

Perhaps she had not gone to see her parents because she was still too angry with them for using her to pay off her father's debts.

She shook off the thought and returned to the conversation because she needed to seek guidance from her friends.

"Will you be living here with Adela and Ambrose?" Lady Dayne asked.

"For now," Syd said with a nod. "Octavian's assignment may require us to settle in Scotland for a few years, so we are in no hurry to acquire a London residence for ourselves when it might remain empty for months at a time."

Marigold voiced her agreement. "There's certainly no urgency since Adela and Ambrose spend most of their time in Devon digging up fossils, and Julius is often in Oxford or York attending to the Huntsford holdings. Using the Huntsford townhouse as a home base for all of you makes eminent sense for now."

"Exactly," Syd said. Besides, what point was there in building up memories with Octavian when it might all come undone at any moment?

Gory finally asked her the question they were all eager to have answered. "What happened?"

Marigold scooted forward in her chair and nodded. "Yes! We have all been dying to know since receiving your cryptic messages. All you revealed was that you were safe and on the run with Octavian. That he married you to protect your honor is so romantic."

Syd smiled at the comment.

Marigold was the sweetest of them all and firmly believed in the power of love to overcome all woes.

"Tell us everything," Gory insisted.

All of the ladies listened attentively as she related what happened on the night she tried to steal into Sir Henry's townhouse. The dowagers must have seen and heard a lot in their day, for they were not overly impressed by her attempt to destroy proof of her father's debt to Sir Henry.

"That was quite foolish of you," Lady Dayne said, her reproof mild because the lady was too kind to ever condescend or berate her. "You might have fallen off that slippery roof and hurt yourself, not to mention Octavian might have been seriously hurt when he fell off."

She nodded. "I know. But I was desperate. I loathed having to bow to my father's wishes and marry the odious Sir Henry. But I could not leave my father in danger, either. I thought destroying those vouchers would give him some bargaining power."

Lady Withnall shook her head. "Sir Henry was a villain through and through. Realizing those vouchers had been stolen would only have enraged him. Did you not consider that he would take his rage out on your father?"

"That's what Octavian said." Heat crept up her cheeks, for she was ashamed to admit that she had given this possibility little consideration. Her father was a little weasel who always managed to slip out of his problems, as Octavian often remarked.

"I'm sure you only meant to provide your father more time until you came up with a better plan," Marigold said, and gave her a comforting pat on the hand.

Syd nodded. "Yes, that was my hope."

Gory pursed her lips. "I wish you had come to me. We could have killed the old goat and buried his body somewhere he would never be found."

Syd's mouth gaped open. "Gory!"

The others responded with equal shock, especially Marigold who was too gentle to even hurt a mouse.

Gory rolled her eyes. "For pity's sake. I'm jesting! Do you honestly believe I am capable of killing anyone? Believe me, if ever I went on a murderous spree, it would be my uncle I'd go after first. But I would not be obvious about it. An obscure poison is what I would use in order to make his death appear natural. Is this not the cleverest way to murder someone? A murder no one suspects ever occurred?"

Sophie grunted in disapproval. "We all know your uncle is a toad. But dreaming up ways to dispatch him? That is not at all the thing, Gory."

Gory sighed. "I would never actually do it. But what is so wrong with hoping he gets back a little of what he deserves? He is not a good man. In fact, he's gotten involved in some very shady dealings lately. The class of gentlemen coming around to our house these past few weeks is enough to chill your blood. I only call them gentlemen out of politeness."

Lady Dayne frowned. "This sounds serious, Gory. Have these men frightened you? Or approached you inappropriately? Do you need our help? Come stay with me if you are worried for your safety."

"Thank you for the offer, but I am capable of taking care of myself."

"Still," Lady Withnall said with a shake of her head, "it sounds like a bad business. Do not hesitate to come to me or Lady Dayne if ever you feel at risk. We have big, empty houses now that our children are grown and have their own homes. We would enjoy having your companionship."

"Thank you. That is very kind of you, and I will take you up on the offer should the need arise." Gory then purposely changed the course of the conversation. "Oh, yum. Ginger cake. My favorite. I'll have a slice, Syd. Now, tell us more about your adventures with Octavian."

Lady Dayne wagged a finger at Gory. "Your ploy to distract us will not work. In fact, it has made me even more determined. With Syd now married, there is no reason to put off our sponsoring you this Season."

"My thoughts exactly," Lady Withnall said. "It is time we spoke to your uncle about our taking you under our wing. Is this not sensible? Your home life sounds deplorable and possibly dangerous, so move in with me or Lady Dayne without delay. You'll need a new wardrobe, of course. And there's to be no more talk of cadavers or digging up graves while dancing with any young men. You purposely do this to scare them away. That ghoulish talk must end. Is that clear?"

Gory smiled as she nodded. "Quite clear."

"And you are to wear soft colors when going about in Society," Lady Dayne added. "No more walking around looking like the harbinger of death."

"I like dark colors," Gory grumbled. "Besides, is it not proper for me to be in mourning for my parents?"

"It has been well over a year now," Lady Withnall shot back, but gave Gory's hand a gentle pat. "I know you miss them. But they would not be happy to see you behaving as you are."

After a little more discussion about Gory's future, something of which they all held opinions, the topic returned to Syd and her dash to Scotland with Octavian. "I knew he was in love with you," Lady Dayne insisted.

Lady Withnall nodded. "I knew it, too. So ridiculously obvious. Dozens of women flitting about him like butterflies, some brazenly propositioning him, and he had no interest in any of them from the moment he set eyes on you, Syd."

Syd had just taken a sip of her tea, and now coughed as it went down the wrong way. "I know he cares for me," she said, quickly recovering.

"As you do for him," Lady Withnall stated. "You must not hide your feelings from him any longer Syd. He must be told what is in your heart, or…"

"Or what?" Syd asked.

Lady Withnall frowned. "Lady Clementine is still smarting over Octavian's slighting her. She is furious that he chose you over her, and I fear she will do something about it."

"Would this not make her look more of a fool?" Syd asked. "I thought they were not an item. Octavian assured me they were not together."

"Well, seems he forgot to mention it to Lady Clementine," Lady Dayne remarked.

"Perhaps he thought by no longer coming around to see her, she would understand he had lost interest in her," Marigold said. "Or, she might have refused to listen to him when he broke it off. Is this not something she would do if she still wanted him?"

Lady Withnall took a sip of her tea. "Yes, that is a possibility. And an apt description. She is not a nice girl. Being the daughter of a duke, she is used to getting her way in all things. Whatever the pampered princess wants, she gets. Her papa sees to it."

Marigold frowned. "But Syd and Octavian are married now. Not even a duke can break up a lawful marriage, especially when it is a love match."

Lady Withnall cast Marigold a wry glance. "Never underestimate the power of evil."

Syd was worried, not for herself but for Octavian. "You think she is evil?"

The dowager shrugged her slight shoulders. "Malicious, to be sure. Spoiled. Inconsiderate. I would not ever describe her as kind or affectionate. Possessive and demanding, that's what she is."

"What does it matter?" Gory placed another slice of ginger cake on her plate. "Syd is married to Octavian now, and there is no undoing it. Is there? Especially if Syd is with child. I cannot imagine that he has been a monk with you, Syd. Surely, you have…um…" She paused to clear her throat. "My point is, your marriage is secure."

Syd blushed and turned away.

Lady Withnall gasped.

That woman had the eyes of an eagle and the instinctive scent of a bloodhound. This feared matriarch of the ton , missed nothing.

It did not help that Syd was terrible at hiding her thoughts and feelings.

And now Octavian would be shamed once they all understood what Lady Withnall had picked up on immediately…that she and Octavian had never consummated the marriage.

How was this fair to him?

He had done nothing but be kind to her and protective.

Lady Withnall was a tiny thing. No one knew quite how old she was, but she knew everyone's family secrets dating back generations, to their parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents.

"It isn't his fault. The blame is all on me," Syd said, her hands now shaking. "He is the best man who ever existed."

Lady Withnall sighed. "Syd, what is going on? You cannot be thinking of undoing this marriage. It would ruin Octavian's career."

Marigold now stared at her in dismay. "Why would you ever want to divorce him? Are you suggesting your marriage is make-believe? How can it be? He obviously loves you. Just as important, you obviously love him."

Gory nodded as she also gaped at Syd. "Does he still have the ability to annul your marriage. Have you been pushing him away?"

"Why, Syd?" Marigold asked, sincerely distressed because she was such a believer in true love.

Gory was now frowning at her, too. "Syd, of all the stupid notions you've ever gotten into your head, this one takes the cake. She would do it for love, Marigold. She would leave him if she thought he was better off without her."

Marigold leaped to her feet. "You mustn't ever leave him! You would break his heart. He does not deserve such an end after all he has done for you. Nor can you make such a decision on your own. He is your husband and deserves to have a say in what happens. If he wants to build a lifetime of dreams with you, then you cannot take that away from him."

Syd did not know whether to be angry or simply fall apart and cry. "Do you think I ever want to leave him? I never understood the meaning of happiness until I met him. He is my very own miracle. But what if something terrible happens and he can no longer stand to be with me?"

"Such as what, Syd?" Lady Dayne asked, setting aside her cup of tea as their discussion intensified. "Were you already married? And now you are hiding a first husband?"

"No! How can you suggest such a thing, Lady Dayne? There's never been anyone else. I had never even been kissed until Octavian kissed me. There are no secret marriages. No tawdry affairs. I was a virgin when we married."

And still am.

Marigold sank back into her chair and sighed. "You had me scared for a moment. Why are you so on edge if there are no dark secrets in your past?"

Syd buried her face in her hands. "I don't know. Octavian thinks I have never experienced true happiness before and this is what brings on my distress. He says I am at a loss and don't know how to deal with it."

"Is he wrong?" Lady Dayne said.

"He is being sensible and reasonable, trying to make logical sense of something that is illogical. He is not wrong, but there is more to it. I am happy with him and dearly want to stay in this marriage. But I cannot shake off this sense of doom. Something terrible is going to happen to destroy us. I just know it."

The two dowagers exchanged worried looks.

Lady Withnall spoke up. "My dear, if you keep looking for this to happen, then it will happen. You will cause it."

"Pushing Octavian away is the wrong thing to do," Lady Dayne added. "Every marriage has problems along the way. I do not care how perfect a couple may appear to others. Nothing is ever ideal. What matters is how the two of you approach these problems. If you love him and he loves you, then fight for each other. Solve whatever troubles come your way by working together."

Marigold agreed. "Octavian's greatest pain will be in losing you. Keeping him at arm's length, abandoning him because you believe it is best for him, will only cause him greater hurt. Will ending your marriage make you feel any better? No, it would not. Your own heart would never forgive you for betraying his love."

Syd knew they all meant well, but none of them understood. "So you are saying I must stay with him even though I would bring shame and disgrace upon him and his family?"

Lady Withnall frowned at her. "Syd, you must tell us the truth. Do you know something we do not? What are you not telling us?"

"Nothing. Upon my word. Whatever it is, has not happened yet."

"Or may never happen," Sophie added. "Will you throw away everything for this?"

Lady Withnall grunted as she eased back in her chair. "The solution is easy."

Syd stared at her. "It is?"

"Yes, my dear. Whatever this terrible thing is that you are convinced will happen can only be overcome by love. If it brings shame on you and Octavian, then will it not bring shame whether you are together or apart? He is already tainted because you are married to each other. Spurning you later will not help him remove the taint."

"Yes," Gory said, latching onto the idea. "It is like indelible ink. Once spilled, the stain will never come out."

"So, how better to fight whatever problem arises than together?" Lady Withnall asked. "Octavian is never going to turn around and run anyway. His every instinct will be, and has always been, to protect you."

"And my every instinct has always been to protect him. If my leaving can save his career, does it not make sense for me to go?"

"Are you not listening to anything we've said?" Marigold frowned at her and huffed.

"Precisely, Marigold," Lady Withnall remarked, and then once again turned to Syd. "Anything bad enough to destroy his career will destroy it whether you stay or go because he has already committed to you and all of London knows it. And what makes you think Octavian would care more for his career than for you? Who are you to make that choice for him? Is it not something that ought to be decided upon together?"

Marigold, who truly was softhearted, took out her handkerchief as her tears began to flow.

Syd groaned. "Marigold, why are you crying?"

"For you. Is it not obvious? You cannot give up on true love, Syd. Look at what Leo and I had to endure, but did I ever consider leaving him? No. Not once. Not for a moment." She paused and groaned. "But he considered leaving me. That is true. He thought to protect me. But how was losing him ever the better choice? My heart would have shattered in a thousand pieces and never mended. I told him so."

"Did he listen?" Syd asked, knowing the answer, for Leo could be stubborn when he wanted to be. Nothing Marigold said was going to change his mind.

"No, he was too thickheaded and refused. But he eventually realized I was right because love always find a way, Syd. Love always finds a way. I found the mate of my soul in Leo. I do not think I am mistaken in saying Octavian is yours. So why are you giving up on this precious gift?"

Gory agreed. "I know you better than anyone else does, Syd. You would never have married Octavian, no matter how dire your circumstances, if you had a single doubt about your feelings for him. And you married him twice. Who marries twice ? You never even believed you would marry once. Does this not tell you something?"

Lady Dayne decided to add her opinion. "Oh, my goodness. I could see the sparks fly between you and Octavian every time you two met. You riled him at every turn. He constantly wanted to throttle you. But mostly, he wanted to kiss you. The poor man ached for it."

Sophie laughed lightly. "It was such fun to watch him struggle with these feelings that bemused him and probably terrified him, for his life had been quite trouble-free until you came along. But he knew the moment he set eyes on you that his rakish lifestyle had come to an end. Whether he was ready or not, his heart had chosen you. Well, Syd? Have we resolved your situation? You may not know what is going to happen, but the solution will not be found by running away from Octavian."

In truth, they were very helpful.

Perhaps they were right.

Octavian had never come out and said he loved her, but he was clear about wanting their marriage to last, and often called her love or my love as an endearment.

Nor had she ever told him that she loved him.

Yet, keeping silent did not change the fact that she did love him.

Had she been wrong to deny him the privileges of their marriage bed?

She clasped her hands together as they began to shake.

Was it time to take that leap?