36. Mae

36

MAE

T he past four days were nothing but a blur. Hospital trips, hours of treatment, long conversations with the police, often led by Rocco and his men—it was an exhausting whirlwind. Through it all, I focused on three things.

Zack was alive. Jian was alive. I was alive.

That was all that mattered. Three simple things that kept me sane through most of the treatment and interrogations. By the time I made it home—and home was currently Rocco's Manor since I refused to return to my mother's home after what happened—I was utterly ready to sleep for a few weeks.

With my mother asleep upstairs under watchful guard and more men around the Estate than I had ever seen in my life, we were safe. Rocco had told me, in minimal detail, that Krill was dead. Talks had been held with the Russian Pakhan who would be under the watchful eye of the Irish for the next year or so to ensure there were no attempts at revenge. From my understanding, the Pakhan was not surprised to learn that the son who was trying to overthrow him was dead .

I suspected news like that was quite a relief to someone wanting to maintain power.

Other details were unimportant to me because Zack needed me. The trauma he had suffered prevented him from sleeping unless he was in my arms, so I hadn't left his side. Not that I wanted to. True to his nature, learning that Rocco was his father had been accepted as quickly as telling him what was for dinner. Rocco seemed somewhat taken aback by how relaxed Zack was, as if he expected there to be some huge fight. Maybe there would be questions in a few months when things had truly died down.

Right now, Rocco was our savior and Zack was content. As content as he could be.

Resting on the couch in one of the countless rooms Rocco had in this place, Zack slowly fell asleep with his head in my lap. I repeatedly combed my fingers through his hair, soothing him into a deeper sleep, when Rocco appeared and eased himself down next to us. As if sensing his presence, Zack stretched out in his sleep, and his feet ended up on Rocco's lap.

Rocco wore the softest smile on his face that I had ever seen.

"Did he eat today?" Rocco asked, his voice low and sweet.

I nodded. "Toast and chicken dinosaurs. Half a plate, but better than yesterday."

"I booked a few sessions with a child therapist." Rocco puffed out his cheeks a little. "If that's okay."

Again, I nodded and reached for Rocco's hand. "It's a good thought. Maybe we should all go and see a therapist."

"Couldn't hurt," Rocco agreed. "There's Mafia lawyers and doctors. I'm sure we could find a therapist. Sitting on stuff like this can really ruin someone. "

Silence fell until Dino entered the room, holding his cast-encased arm to his chest. "Your mom is asleep," he said the second he laid eyes on me. "Out like a light."

"Lucky for some," I mused softly, flashing him an affectionate smile. In his other hand, he carried a tablet which, when he set it down on the table in front of me, revealed Jian sitting up in his hospital bed looking a little less deathly ill than the last time I saw him.

"Jian!" I fought to keep my voice low. "How are you feeling?"

"Death warmed up," Jian croaked. "But still alive."

"It had better stay that way," Rocco said, squeezing my hand slightly as he spoke. "You gotta put a stop to this throwing yourself into harm's way shit."

"It's my job," Jian reminded him.

"Yeah, well, get a lackey to do it next time, okay? I don't want to bury you."

"Yes, sir." Jian chuckled, and his cough was odd, waspish. My heart ached to be with him—to be with all of them at once.

Soon.

"So," Jian said after a moment. "Dino tells me you've got an announcement?"

"When you put it like that, it sounds so important," I murmured, glancing down at Zack.

Dino eased himself painfully down onto the couch on the other side of me, and a deep, peaceful warmth settled over my shoulders. I'd feel much better if Dino were also still in the hospital, but he was a hard man to pin down.

"But yeah, I… I have something to say. "

The same worry filled the eyes of each man when I looked at them in turn. I know what they feared. They were scared I was done, that with everything that happened in the warehouse, I was going to be leaving.

"I've been thinking a lot about what happened with us. And with Zack. And I know I've swayed back and forth countless times over what is the right thing to do here, but I… if the last few months, a few days even, have taught me anything, it's that we are safer together. That Zack is safer with you all around. Whether it's because you have the know-how on how to protect him, or the ability to take care of anyone who wants to hurt him… I could not have survived this without you."

I was aware that part of this happened because of Rocco's line of work, but that didn't change the fact that Zack was his son. That was the life he was a part of, regardless of how I felt. So, being together? It was definitely the better option.

And I was selfish. I had come so close to losing my son and my own life that the very idea of being alone without any of them was crushing. I couldn't stand it.

"But," I continued softly, "I don't want to upheave his life. After everything that happened, I want to get Zack back to normality as soon as possible, so I will be returning to the city. But I want you all to come too, so we can be a proper family."

Rocco's grip tightened around my fingers while his thumb skimmed over my knuckles.

"If you want to, that is, because I know this isn't just about me. But that's what I want. I want Zack to go back to school, to go and play with his friends and do all of the things he likes. I want him to have a childhood, and I know that given who you are, Rocco, and the life you lead, that you can't just leave… I know what that means for Zack." I glanced over at Rocco, whose eyes were shining slightly .

"I don't need to know the ins and outs of all the stuff you do, but I want to be kept in the loop if anything happens that could affect me or Zack. That's all I ask. And that's… all I wanted to say. You don't have to decide now, but?—"

Dino's warm hand cupped my cheek, and he guided me to face him. Then his soft, full lips pressed gently against mine, and we both winced as aching bruises complained at the contact.

"Never have I had such an easy yes," Dino murmured.

"Of course we want to be there with you," Jian said. "Right, Boss?"

All attention drifted back to Rocco, and I eyed him carefully. He looked me over, then his eyes dropped to Zack, and they filled with such warmth that it almost radiated from him.

"Dino is right. It's an easy fuck—an easy yes because I can't lose you, Mae. Not again. I promise I will do everything I can to give you the life you deserve, and Zack will be safe. We will keep you both safe and love you until you're old and wrinkly."

"Oh, thank God," Jian croaked from the tablet. "I love you, Mae, but I couldn't handle staying here a long time with those damn trees."

I laughed softly, squeezing Rocco's hand. "Thank you."

"Y'know," said Dino, his hand sliding affectionately over my thigh, "We have lawyers. If you wanted to be involved—and I'm not saying you have to be—but if you wanted to be, then I'm sure they could take you on. That way, you could judge for yourself about what you want Zack to know and what would be the best way to keep him safe?"

"That's an excellent idea!" Rocco's brow lifted. "If you wanted to, of course."

"Are you serious?" I glanced between Dino and Rocco. "Wouldn't that make me a criminal? "

Rocco snorted softly. "We employ thousands of regular people. On paper, you would just be doing what you do now but for a different law firm. Only with better pay, more time off, and you're fucking the boss, so it comes with perks."

"Language!" I hissed softly, moving one hand over Zack's ear while he slept. "But that… wow, that would kind of be amazing."

A new job, a full family to embrace my son, and the men I loved by my side. The Mafia wouldn't know what hit it.

"Okay." I nodded slowly. "So… we're all going back to New York?"

"I'll start the preparations," Dino said, and he leaned in to kiss me once more.

"Kiss her for me, too," Jian grumbled. "I can't believe I'm stuck here."

Dino obeyed, kissing me deeply a second time, and then he slid to the edge of the couch. "Maybe stop getting shot?"

"I hate you," Jian muttered. "You're just jealous because I now have more saved the boss scars than you."

"Part of the job," Dino mocked gently. "Right?"

As they laughed, Rocco cupped my face and drew me in for a very slow, very sweet kiss. It was the most loving kiss I had ever experienced, and an excited warmth flushed through my body.

"I love you," Rocco said softly. "For ever and ever."

"I love you too," I replied, blinking back a few unexpected tears.

"We love you too!" Jian cried from the tablet, and Dino pressed back up against me.

"Yes, we do," Dino added.

"I love you guys, too," I laughed, making sure I didn't disturb Zack. "This has been the craziest and best summer ever. "

As Zack nuzzled into my abdomen and sighed, my heart swelled with love.

Coming back here was the best decision I'd ever made.