25. Mae

25

MAE

R occo, Dino, and Jian were all piled together downstairs, asleep in the lounge.

I tried to keep my mind off them, but after what was definitely one of the worst days of my life, it was a struggle. Those few hours spent thinking that my son was missing had been the most terrifying I'd ever felt, and it had taken me three hours of sleeping next to him to finally calm down enough to retreat to my own bed.

My fury at my mother was uncapped, made worse by her playing up her sickness and refusing to acknowledge what she did wrong.

And now, Rocco knew.

He knew Zack was his. His reaction had been… unexpected. In previous nights, lying awake and staring at the ceiling, I had imagined telling Rocco the truth. I'd imagined him yelling at me, either screaming that he wanted nothing to do with either of us or threatening to take Zack away from me.

Reality had been infinitely calmer, and with Dino and Jian right here beside him sharing the same sense of responsibility… It was sweet. I re played his words over and over while toying with the corner of my bedsheet. Rocco had seemed happy. Jian and Dino had seemed equally relieved. I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

I still had to make a decision.

What did I want?

And was what I wanted worth the risk?

Thirst eventually pulled me from my bed. I looked in on Zack and he was still fast asleep, wildly oblivious to most of the pain, and I headed downstairs as quietly as I could manage. Peeking into the lounge, Rocco, Jian and Dino were fast asleep spread over the couches. A deep sense of security settled in my chest.

I'd never felt this safe before. It was rather exhilarating that they were all here. I could walk in there and touch them. Kiss them. Just feel their warmth. It was a surreal feeling that ignited a bubble of giddy excitement in my chest.

In the kitchen, I sought out a glass and filled it with chilled water from the freezer. There was nothing like ice-cold water at four a.m. to feel like it was the first time you'd hydrated in months.

"Mae?" Rocco's sleep-addled voice made me jump, and I spun around, only for his hand to land on my elbow and steady my arm.

"Rocco, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No." He shook his head. His eyes glinted in the moonlight drifting in the porch doors, and his bare chest rose higher with a deep breath. "I woke up and then heard the water, wanted to make sure everyone was okay."

"Mmhmm." His bare torso was a terrible distraction. "I couldn't sleep. Thirsty." Tilting the water toward him, I smiled. "I'm okay."

"You can't sleep? "

Stepping away from Rocco and immediately missing his warmth, I nodded and leaned against the counter to drink. "I'm tired, but there's too much on my mind."

"Wanna talk it out?"

My hair cascaded down one bare arm as I looked at him. "I don't know if there's much left to say. Tonight, I thought my worst fear had come true. My son was gone, and I felt like my entire heart had been ripped out. Now, I have my narcissistic mother more concerned with being ill than the fact that she nearly scared me to death. On top of that, there's you and the guys. I have a lot of feelings to work out."

"Sometimes, overthinking is the problem," Rocco replied gently, moving to lean next to me. His entire body was a gorgeous, muscular line of heat that was drawing me in and smothering all sensible thoughts in my head.

"Is it? I mean, if I strip it down, I nearly lost my son to stupidity and I'm falling for three men who are wrapped up in the most dangerous world imaginable. As soon as I give in, I'm putting my son in the middle of that world, and that scares me to death because I couldn't handle him missing for two hours."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Rocco said, eyeing me over his shoulder, "but Zack's being my son automatically puts him in this world. My world. You might want to keep him out now, and I respect that, but when he's older? Or, God forbid, someone finds out? The wrong person gets their hands on him, and I…"

Both of Rocco's hands curled into fists and he swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry you had to raise him alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I would have been had I known. I can give excuses like my father orchestrating things to minimize my distractions, but at the end of the day, you were alone, and I should have been there. So, I'm sorry."

As apologies went, that was pretty poetic. It was difficult to be mad at him about my father or even his absence when he was standing there being so genuine.

"Well, we can't change the past," I murmured, then I drained my glass. "It might take me some time to come to terms with my son being the son of a Mafia crime lord, though."

"Hey, I ain't a lord." Rocco chuckled deeply. "I'm just a guy."

"Mmhmm. And how many people have you killed?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

I chewed on my lower lip, then shook my head. "No, actually. I don't want to know."

"Thought so."

There was a moment of peaceful bliss when I stepped past him, intent on heading back upstairs, and our skin brushed together. It was just a touch, but it was enough to make me pause and turn back to him.

"Do you want to come with me?" The question was out of my mouth before my thoughts could catch up, but when Rocco nodded, I knew I didn't regret it. I still had a lot to think about, but if one thing could help me sleep, it was his presence.

Rocco followed me all the way upstairs and into my bedroom. The moment the door closed, his arms slid around me and he pulled me tight against his warm torso. I breathed in his delicious scents of wood and citrus. Then his mouth claimed mine, and like a record player finding a scratch, my thoughts screeched to a halt.

Nothing else mattered but the warm press of his lips and the heat from his arms against my back. He kissed me deeply while I slid both my hands up his bare chest and over his shoulders. Rocco scooped me up into his arms and carried me toward the bed. When he set me down, he crawled over the top of me, and I entered such a heightened blissful state just from contact that every touch sparked .

He kissed my throat, nibbled across my shoulders, and removed my pajama top with one swift move. Then his hot mouth traveled over my breasts, teased my nipples, and worked its way down my abdomen. I caressed his shoulders, stroked my fingers through his hair, and clutched at his hand. Then Rocco was between my legs, and my world melted into heat and pleasure.

With my mind calm, all I could think about was how amazing he felt. Even after all this time, it was like he knew exactly what buttons to press and where to touch. He hugged my thighs with his arms and pulled me against his mouth, thrusting his tongue deep inside me. The moans that rolled off him matched my own, and I scrambled for something to hold onto as the pleasure built. Each time he flattened his tongue to a point, my heart would kick up in my chest. Then he sealed his mouth over my pussy, creating a firm circle of pleasure, and then he sucked.

I arched and moaned, writhed, and whimpered as the focus on my clit became so intense that I wanted to get away. And at the same time, I never wanted him to stop.

I came with a cry muffled into my pillows, and Rocco held me through it all.

Then he was over me, locking eyes with me and thrusting his cock so deep that it took my breath away. He didn't look away. He stared deep into my eyes with every thrust, and I couldn't look away, either. My hands looped around his neck, and I clung on as he fucked me hard and deep, picking up the pace as we both got closer and closer to climax. I was addicted to the sensation of being full of his cock, of feeling his hands constantly caress my body, of his lips on mine even as he stared into my soul.

It was the most intimate moment of my life.

We came together, switched positions, and fucked until the sun started to peek out from underneath my curtains. I was addicted to the pleasure, constantly seeking more even as my body screamed from overstimulation and exhaustion. My last orgasm was on my knees with Rocco's hands around my throat as he fucked me from behind. My moans were silenced by his grip each time they got too loud, and by the time we climaxed together, my legs were shaking and I couldn't stop.

I was utterly and completely at peace. Sleep came almost instantly as Rocco kissed my temple, and I welcomed the darkness.

When I awoke, the sun was pouring through a gap in my curtains. My body ached, and my pussy throbbed loudly as I rolled over. My heart was full, and my mind was at peace.

Until I spotted Rocco.

He sat upright next to me, his phone in hand. He stared down at it with a look on his face that I couldn't quite decipher. It was something between anger and pain. Reaching out, I lightly touched his arm, which was chilly under my fingertips, as if he'd been sitting like this for a long time.

"Rocco?" When he didn't respond, I ignored my body's complaints and sat up fully. "Rocco, what is it?"

"They know who did it."

"Did what?"

"They know who killed my dad."