2. Mae

2

MAE

S even Years Later…

"Mae!"

A familiar female voice drifted through my dream, blurring the lines between reality and fantasy. Rocco Adami hovered above me, and when his mouth opened to speak, that female voice came forth once again.

"Mae!"

I blinked in my dream, and when I opened my eyes, Rocco was gone. He had been just a dream. Damn it.

"Mae!" My mother's voice drifted faintly through the door, so I propped myself up on one elbow and yawned.

"I'm up!" I called back, hoping my voice was loud enough to reach her downstairs. "I'm up."

Fuck.

Rocco Adami was in my dream? I hadn't seen him in over seven years, and I'd done my best to put him out of my mind despite the lasting gift he had left me that night. That graduation party had been one of the best nights of my life, and the sex had been so mind-blowing that no one else had ever compared.

But Rocco Adami was nothing more than an asshole and a dream.

Sliding my legs from the bed, I yawned widely once more and pulled myself up. Heading for the bathroom, my mind lazily replayed a few events from that night, coupled with the strange closeness I'd felt to him in my dream. I haven't seen Rocco since that night, and it was so long ago that I don't remember it as clearly as I used to.

It was a turning point in my life, even more than the move to New York City for a fantastic job opportunity that fell through within a week of securing my NYC apartment.

I stripped off my pajamas and stepped into the shower, burying my face in the hot spray and letting the water wash away the dream and any lingering, unresolved feelings that I had for Rocco. Being back in my hometown of Baxton was clearly unlocking a lot of reminders since I hadn't been back here in years. Once I moved to NYC, my parents had always come to visit me in the city since it was much easier for them to travel, given my situation.

That all changed four years ago when a carjacker took my father from us. My mother had refused to set foot back in the city ever since, and I couldn't blame her. Three years of not seeing her and her upcoming fiftieth birthday had finally prompted me to save enough money for a trip back home, so here I was.

Freshly showered, I slipped into jeans and a plaid shirt and hurried downstairs to the warm smell of baking while throwing my damp hair into a bun.

In the kitchen, my mother stood up to her elbows in flour while the gift that Rocco left me stood on a stool beside her, thumping his tiny fists against a small ball of dough.

Zack. My adorable six-year-old son .

"Mom!" Zack threw his hands in the air. "I made dough!"

My mother sent me a glance that told me all I needed to know about who really made the dough, but I wasn't going to let her take that excitement from him.

"Well done, baby." I smiled brightly at him as I passed, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. Then I ruffled his wildly curly auburn hair and made a beeline for the coffee pot.

"Good nap?" Mom asked, her eye on me as I moved around the kitchen.

"The best." Not because of the Rocco dream, though. "The drive down was long. Thankfully, some of us slept right through it, didn't they?" I cast an affectionate eye to Zack who, thankfully, had been as good as gold on the drive down here.

Though, to his credit, Zack was a pretty good kid. He was very shy and quiet, though I was doing my best to nurture that out of him at a rate he was comfortable with. That was a work in progress.

"He certainly doesn't get that from you." Mom chuckled wearily. "You would kick and scream for hours when we put you in a car seat."

"Maybe you should have gotten a better seat." I snorted, pouring myself a large cup of coffee. Warming my hands on the mug, I moved around the island counter to check out what they had been making. Two trays were already filled with freshly baked cookies, and they seemed to be working on a third.

"Well, they don't make them like they used to, do they?" Mom said.

"I won't complain." I sipped my coffee. "Anything that keeps this little tyke quiet for four hours is a blessing, in my book."

"You shouldn't have driven through the night." Mom dusted the flour from her hands. "It's dangerous. "

I bit the inside of my cheek. Raising Zack in the city had come with the blessing of raising him my way, away from my mother's influence, but her judgment was always clear through emails, phone calls, and visits. Since my father passed, she'd been fighting to get me to move back home to Baxton, but I couldn't. There were too many memories and too many unresolved childhood issues.

"I had work," was all I offered in the way of explanation. "And he slept the whole way, so it worked out."

"And if he doesn't sleep tonight?" Mom fixed me with her trademark cool stare, and it took all my energy to keep the smile on my face.

"He will, won't you, buddy?" It was a cheap move, drawing Zack into the conversation, but if this went on much longer, my mother and I would end up arguing and I was far too tired for that.

"Yes, Mom." Zack nodded, laying handprints into the dough.

"Yes, well…" Mom sniffed sharply and grabbed at the towel draped over her shoulder. "How is work? Are you still the assistant or whatever it was at that booking place?"

"Administrative assistant," I corrected her between soothing gulps of coffee. "And it's a law firm, Mom. It's going fine. The pay is good, and the people are nice. I like it there."

"Not as nice as the job your father lined up for you," she replied tightly.

"Well, he lined me up at a company that went bankrupt, and then there were… other factors to consider." I'd arrived in New York, moved into my new apartment, and then learned that not only was I out of a job, but I was pregnant, too. My night of insane passion with Rocco had given me the greatest hurdle at the lowest point of my life. But I made it work.

"If you'd moved back here?— "

"If I'd moved back here," I interrupted gently, keeping my smile fixed and my voice pleasant, "we wouldn't have all the wonderful things we have back in the city. Anyway, I'll let you both finish up here. Zack, baby, do you want to come into town with me?"

Zack nodded so quickly that his curls flew about his head, and affectionate laughter bubbled in my chest.

"Alright, kiddo, I'll be just out here, okay?" Pointing out the back door, I then headed that way before my mother could say anything else. As much as our relationship was strained, Zack enjoyed spending time with his Grandma and I wouldn't get in the way of that. As long as he was happy.

Out on the back porch, I nursed my coffee and leaned against one of the wooden beams. The back garden was blooming brightly with countless flowers I couldn't even name, all planted by my father and carefully maintained by my mother. Something that was becoming a struggle, I suspected, judging by the few weeds and messy border lines I could see. Beyond the garden, the forest stretched out toward the lake glimmering in the distance.

I used to spend my summers camping by the forest line, pretending I was off on some sort of adventure or top-secret mission. As an adult, my own adventure turned out to be quite different. I closed my eyes and listened to the birdsong, the wind rustling the trees, and Zack's cheery laughter from behind me.

He was a shock and a surprise, but the best thing in my life. That was the only decent thing Rocco ever gave me. The rest was all heartbreak and abandonment issues since he fucked me and then vanished. I never heard from him after that night, despite my attempts to find him and tell him I was pregnant.

He could be dead, for all I knew.

I drank my coffee and took a deep breath, soaking in the scents of clean air and muddy nature .

I missed it here. I could never admit that to my mother, but it wasn't until I was here in the calming, small-town air and surrounded by nature that I realized just how much.

The city was full of bustle, noise, and garbage smells. Here, there was peace.

I stayed outside until my coffee was finished and peacefulness had settled into my bones, then I headed back inside just as Mom and Zack were moving the last of the cookies onto a cooling rack.

"Mom! Can I have one?" Zack asked, staring up at me with eyes that were identical to Rocco's.

"I don't know. What does Grandma say, hmm?" I smiled down at him. "They're her cookies too."

"Grandma, can I have one?" He turned those gigantic hazel eyes to Mom, and she was able to resist him just as easily as I could.

"Of course you can. That's what they're there for." Mom chuckled, patting the top of his head.

Zack eagerly picked up a cookie and hopped off his small stool, eagerly taking a large bite.

"Mmmm!"

"Good?" I chuckled down at him, and he nodded.

"I'm going to pop into town now," I said to Mom. "You want me to get you anything?"

"You can call and have it delivered, you know," Mom said, placing the trays into the dishwasher.

"I know, but I want to walk and show Zack the town. You want to see where Mommy grew up, don't you?" I glanced back at Zack, who was far more interested in his cookie .

"Alright, if you say so," Mom muttered. I couldn't pinpoint the source of her disagreement other than wanting to spend more time with Zack. "If you insist, can you take Dozer for a walk?"

"Sure." I cast an eye around the kitchen, then toward the lounge in search of my mother's dog, Dozer. He'd been in the family since I was a pre-teen, and I'm honestly amazed he still had life left in him.

"Just remember to walk slowly," Mom said, bustling around the kitchen and placing a handful of cookies into a Tupperware box.

"I will," I replied, biting back a remark about how I was more than capable of walking a dog.

"And keep an eye on Zack."

"Oh, here I was thinking of letting him off the leash to run amok through the town." Okay, I couldn't hold in all my irritation.

"Be serious," Mom snapped. "You have to keep an eye on him."

Heat prickled up the back of my neck, and I pressed my lips together in a firm smile. "I will ."

"Well, if you insist on walking, could you take this to Ada? She works at the bookstore, and I've been meaning to send her something sweet after her husband passed."

"Clive passed away?" My heart lurched faintly. Ada and Clive had been staples in my life as a child, always taking care of me when my parents were too busy with work.

"Yes, didn't I tell you?"

"No." I accepted the container from her. "I'll give these to her, don't worry." Turning to Zack, I held out my other hand. "Come on, kiddo, let's go for a walk with Dozer."

"Yay!"