Chapter 12

"My lady? My lady!"

"Heavens! Yes, Gracie?" Selina was jolted back to the present when she heard her maid call from behind. The setting sun filtered through the sash windows of Valebridge Castle, casting intricate patterns on the polished floors as Selina Voss wandered through the halls. She had spent the better part of the day searching for Arthur, the elusive Duke of Valebridge. Ever since their encounter earlier in the afternoon, where Arthur had shown a colder version of him she hadn't seen before, Selina was conflicted. It was now adamantly clear that he had been avoiding her presence. And she was determined to find him and find out exactly why.

However, her search was momentarily put on hold when Gracie hastened to her side. "I beg your pardon, Miss, but His Grace forbids even the household staff to travel past the threshold of the East Wing."

Selina tilted her head and arched a brow. "Pray, why ever so?"

"We are not quite sure. He spends most of his nights there and doesn't let the staff complete any chores there either."

How odd.

"I appreciate your concern, Gracie. But I am not just anyone to him, I'm sure he will understand."

Gracie's lips parted as if she was about to protest, but instead, she fell silent. Selina pressed on.

As she rounded a corner, she nearly collided with Mr. Beveridge, Arthur"s butler. Startled, she took a step back, smoothing her hands over her moss-green muslin gown. "Mr. Beveridge," she said coolly, noticing her maid in the periphery of her vision, panicking. "I have been looking for his Grace. Do you have any idea where I might find him?"

"My lady," the butler replied, his expression unreadable. "His Grace has retired to the library for the day."

"Thank you," she responded quickly. She hastily made to maneuver past him, anticipating his next words, but stopped when the butler spoke up. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing for what he was about to say.

"My lady, I am under strict instructions to ensure that His Grace is not to be disturbed whilst he is in the library. He has been spending his evenings there for years, and it has become his private sanctuary."

Again. Excuses. Why would he propose to marry me, but then spend every moment avoiding me?

Selina"s jaw tightened. She was tired of excuses and evasions. With a brief nod, she brushed past the butler, her skirts rustling as she strode purposefully toward the library. Perhaps she did not know much of this new ‘Arthur', still, she couldn't shake the feeling that more was behind his avoidance than met the eye.

As she neared the library door, the butler's cautionary words echoed within the recesses of her mind, yet she cast them aside, steeling herself for the inevitable confrontation. Taking a moment to compose herself and steady her racing heart, she raised her hand to knock on the heavy oak door. Her knuckles barely brushed the surface when she hesitated. She strained her ears for any indication that Arthur was inside but heard nothing. With a rueful sigh, her hand fell limply to her side.

"Why are you hiding from me?" she whispered, as though it might summon him from the shadows

Just as she was about to turn away, a sudden crash echoed from within the library, followed by a muffled curse in Arthur"s unmistakable voice. Her heart leaped into her throat, concern blotting out any lingering hesitation. Abandoning decorum, she pushed open the door and hurried inside.

Upon entering, she was immediately enveloped by Arthur's distinct cologne and the overpowering scent of alcohol, suffocating and cloying like an invisible fog. On the floor, amidst the carnage, sat Arthur, his black hair disheveled and his eyes glassy with intoxication. His shirt was loosely buttoned, revealing specks of hair on his chest, and his sleeves were rolled up against stone-carved forearms.

"Arthur!" Selina exclaimed, rushing to his side. Her concern quickly morphed into something akin to anger as she took in the scene before her, especially the countless bottles of brandy and whiskey littering the room. "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, her voice trembling with a mixture of fear and disbelief.

Arthur disregarded her question and attempted to rise, his legs unsteady and swaying dangerously. Selina reached out instinctively, her small hand encircling his bicep in a vain attempt to steady him.

"Please, sit down," she urged, guiding him to the chaise. His body was hot beneath her touch, the heat and sweat searing through his linen shirt. When he finally sank onto the cushions, she released him, taking a step back.

A wave of guilt washed over Selina, her heart aching as she took in the sight of him sprawled on the chaise amidst scattered bottles and random pieces of clothing. The air was thick with the scent of spirits and regret, and it clung to her like a shroud. She couldn"t help but think that perhaps his state was a direct result of her presence at Valebridge Castle, trapping him into marriage.

"Arthur," she whispered, her voice barely audible as she approached him once more. His eyes were unfocused, and it was clear he didn"t recognize her. Instead, he mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, piquing Selina's curiosity.

"What—what did you say?" she asked, leaning closer so she could hear him better. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears as she anxiously awaited his response.

"Arthur?" he slurred, more clearly this time. "It should have been me." His words sent a shiver down Selina"s spine, leaving her feeling even more confused and uneasy.

"What do you mean it should have been you?" she asked softly, trying to maintain her composure as she searched his face for any sign of clarity. But Arthur continued to stare blankly past her, lost in his own world of pain and alcohol-induced haze.

"Arthur, please," she implored, laying her hand on his arm gently. "Tell me what you mean. Let me help you."

Her touch seemed to ground him momentarily, and his dark eyes met hers with a brief flicker of recognition. But just as quickly, it vanished, and a sudden change washed over Arthur"s features, his black eyes clouding with an unrecognizable darkness. With a guttural growl, he looked past Selina and yelled, "Get away from me!"

Selina froze in her tracks, her heart pounding against her ribs as she stared at the man before her. This was not the Arthur she knew. He had changed. This man was a stranger, his anger and pain twisting his handsome face into a mask of agony.

"Your Grace?" she whispered, stepping back, fear gripping her.

In that moment, it seemed as if a veil lifted from his eyes. The fury vanished as quickly as it had appeared, leaving behind only confusion and vulnerability. His eyes spoke of regret. Yet, despite this plea, the shadows she glimpsed behind them stayed with her.

"Selina? Selina, wait," Arthur pleaded, reaching out to touch her arm. But she unconsciously recoiled from his touch. "Please, let me explain," he implored, desperation etching itself across his features. But she had seen enough; she turned on her heel and fled the room.

Rushing down the dimly lit hallway, she felt tears streaming down her cheeks and her breath coming in short quiet gasps. The guilt she felt was overwhelming. She had gone from escaping a marriage to ensnaring someone else in another. She choked up, feeling as if she were drowning, suffocating under the weight of Arthur"s sudden anger and her own confusion.

"Am I truly such a burden to him?" Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. As she reached the door of her bedchamber, she wavered, her hand hovering over the doorknob. A sharp inhale entered her lips, and she was about to retreat into her room when she felt a strong hand on her wrist, spinning her around to face its owner.

"No."

"Arthur," she uttered, her voice caught in her throat, startled by his sudden appearance. The feeble orange glow of the hallway lamps threw shadows over his face, deepening the dark circles beneath his eyes and accentuating the rigid lines of tension creasing his forehead. She felt her breath trap in her lungs at the vision of the man before her.

"Miss Vo— no, Selina," he said gently. The sound of her name on his lips brought both solace and pain. "I"m sorry for what I said. I was out of it. Please, forgive me. I did not know it was you."

She stared at him, her blue eyes searching his black ones for answers, but found only a reflection of her own turmoil. For a moment, she was rendered speechless, unable to find the words to mend the growing rift between them.

"Who even are you?" she finally whispered, her voice barely audible. "You"re not the man I thought I knew."

"I—" Arthur began, but then he paused, seemingly lost in thought. He released her wrist and took a step back. "I don't—Perhaps, I should go."

But something inside her cried out in protest, unwilling to let him simply disappear without a fight. "Wait!" Selina called, reaching out to grasp his hand before he could leave. Their fingers intertwined, currents surging through their joined hands. "Please, don"t go."

He turned to face her again, his voice thick with emotion. "Look, I—I want to make things right. I just... I need time."

"Then take it," she whispered, her gaze fixed on his. "Just promise me you won"t push me away anymore."

Arthur seemed to hesitate as he stared beyond her for a moment. Eventually, he whispered, "I promise." He drew in a deep breath, filling the silence that hung between them. "I"m sorry," he said, his voice thick with genuine remorse. "For avoiding you, and for everything else. I haven"t been fair to you. I am the one who proposed the union. The responsibility of it rests squarely on my shoulders. It is just…"

Selina blinked up at him, her heart pounding, awaiting his next words.

"I"m not the same person you once knew, Selina," he continued, his dark eyes searching hers for understanding. "Years of living alone have changed me. I"ve grown... unaccustomed to people. To considering others" feelings or navigating relationships. But I can change. Just tell me how I can make this up to you. What can I do to prove my sincerity?"

Her eyes shimmered with a sudden spark of mischief as she considered her next response. "Breakfast," she declared, her tone both inviting and challenging. "Join me for breakfast tomorrow morning, and the morning after that, and every morning beyond. And... stop avoiding me."

"Breakfast?" Arthur's dark brows lifted in surprise. "Is that all you need?"

Selina"s gaze turned tender as she reached up to brush a few stray locks of her hair behind her ear. "For now."