Chapter Eight

Lillian shook her head as she walked through Hyde Park, trying to rid herself of the memory of what had happened the previous evening. It had come as a great astonishment to her to learn that the Duke of Wrexham was all but betrothed to the young lady to whom he had only recently been introduced, though it had seemed to her discerning gaze that the Duke himself had been somewhat taken aback by the declarations made in his presence – which could very well be attributed to the temerity displayed by Lord Kent in addressing him with such audacity. Lillian had looked at Lady Vivianne as those words had been spoken, seeing neither delight or concern in her eyes, simply an acceptance that this was what was now to happen and Lillian had found her heart softening in sympathy, despite the shock which had run over her at the same time. Clearly, Lady Vivianne had been told that she had no other choice but to accept this and therefore, that was what she was doing whereas Lillian could not think of a life without freedom to choose her own path.

"It does not matter to me what the Duke of Wrexham does," she told herself aloud, a few steps behind her mother and father, who were walking arm and arm through the park. That did not quite ring true, however, and Lillian scowled to herself, disliking the fact that she had been so quickly pulled towards the Duke of Wrexham. She had always thought that she would be sensible and considerate and yet, somehow, she had found herself in a position where after only a few conversations and one single dance, she was already thinking about him almost continually – and was, she admitted, deeply disappointed to learn that he was to become engaged. It was not a single moment of disappointment either but rather a long, pronounced feeling which would not remove itself from her no matter what she did. Thus far, she had taken tea with her parents in the morning after breaking her fast, had accepted some invitations to various events, had caught up with her correspondence, enjoyed luncheon with Harry and had then taken some morning calls before going out to the park with her parents and, through all of that, she had not forgotten the Duke's engagement. Her heart had twisted this way and that every time she thought of it, just as it was doing now.

"Lillian?"

Lillian blinked and turned her head, looking into Harry's face. "Harry, I – I am sorry, I did not know you were coming to the park."

"I came in my own carriage," came the reply, though her brother's expression was a little concerned. "I have summoned you thrice, and yet you have not deigned to turn your gaze in my direction. Are you faring well?

"Lost in thought only," Lillian answered, with a smile so as to put his mind at ease. "Have you come to the park in the hope of seeing anyone during the fashionable hour?"

Harry grinned at her, his eyes twinkling. "Mayhap."

Lillian paused, her eyebrows lifting. "Might it be that you hope to see Lady Dinah present?" she asked, thinking to herself that her brother appeared to be quite taken with the lady already, much as she was taken with the Duke of Wrexham so she certainly could not judge him for that. "You enjoyed your dance and your walk with her about the ballroom yesterday, I presume?"

"I did indeed." Harry's smile grew all the wider as he took Lillian's arm in his. "I confess that I thought Lady Dinah to be gracious, beautiful and kind-hearted and, what was all the more delightful was that she expressed a little of her sadness as regarded the absence of her brother."

Lillian frowned. "Delightful?"

"I mean, in that she felt willing to share that with me," her brother replied, hastily. "Not that it was delightful that she felt herself so sorrowful, of course."

"Of course," Lillian agreed, laughing at him. "Brother, might I ask you a question?" Her smile faded as Harry nodded. "Do you think that you might consider courting Lady Dinah? That your feelings could become a good deal more serious?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because… because you have only just been introduced and you have only danced on one occasion," Lillian answered, knowing that her question was more about her own feelings than that of her brother's. "Could it be that feelings could develop so quickly and with genuine strength?"

Harry shrugged. "I do not know. I have never felt such a way before so I cannot tell you whether or not they are long lasting. But, for my part, I intend to call on Lady Dinah a good deal these next few weeks and, should my feelings sustain themselves, then I will ask to court her. I can see no reason why I should not do such a thing." He looked at her for a long moment as they continued to walk together. "Can I ask you why you are enquiring about such a thing?"

Lillian shook her head. "There is no real reason, aside from the fact that I have never found myself in a position before where my emotions could be so easily pulled from one place to another. It is hard for me to distinguish what could be and what could not be real."

"I see." Harry did not sound convinced but much to Lillian's relief, he did not say anything. Instead, they continued to walk in silence for some minutes and Lillian, her thoughts still heavy and swirling around her, let out a small sigh which seemed to course through her. Again, her brother looked at her but said nothing, letting her consider her thoughts without interruption.

I must be able to free myself from all that I feel, Lillian told herself, sternly. I cannot let my emotions linger, especially if he is engaged. That would be wrong, I think, so I must fight all that I feel and push it aside. Surely, after such a short acquaintance, it will not take me long to remove it from myself?

"Look!" Harry stopped suddenly, making Lillian jump in surprise. "Is that not Lady Dinah there?"

Lillian blinked, only to see the Duke of Wrexham looking back at them both, Lady Dinah on his arm. She went hot all over, then very cold indeed as she pulled her gaze away, wondering if he would soon have Lady Vivianne on his other arm.

"We must go and speak with them!" her brother exclaimed, half walking, half pulling Lillian towards them both. "Come now, Lillian. There is no need for tardiness!"

The reluctance that Lillian felt was mortifying and she lifted her chin, determined not to give into any angst or upset that might come to her simply from being in the Duke's company. If he was not to be for her, then she would find another and there were plenty of gentlemen in London! There was bound to be someone who would catch her attention. All the same, despite her inward warring with herself, Lillian had to force a smile and, the closer she came to the Duke, the less she found herself able to look directly up at him.

"Your Grace, Lady Dinah, good afternoon!" Harry's enthusiasm made up for her lacking and Lillian quickly bobbed a curtsy before smiling warmly at Dinah. "How pleasant to see you out this afternoon."

"It is Dinah's first fashionable hour," the Duke said, glancing to his niece who nodded.

"And do you find it a little overwhelming?" Harry asked, before Lillian could say a word. "There are not too many people here as yet but there are enough to make the park feel crowded. Just wait until there are so many carriages, the park cannot take any more and the crowd so vast, you could easily become lost should you take even one step away from the Duke!"

Lillian caught the flash of concern in Lady Dinah's eyes and nudged her brother gently, who then cleared his throat and dropped his head for a moment.

"Though mayhap you might like to take a turn about the park before it becomes too crowded?" she asked, putting a smile on her face to reassure her friend. "You can always take your leave if you find it a little overwhelming."

Lady Dinah nodded. "I should like that. Have you been to the fashionable hour before?"

"I have," Lillian answered, gesturing to Harry. "We came to the London Season with my brother, prior to his taking on of his own estate. I was not out then, of course, though I was taken to the fashionable hour on occasion." She dropped her hand back to her side. "If you should like to walk, then – "

"I should like to take a short walk with you, Lady Dinah," Harry interrupted, dropping Lillian's arm and coming closer to Lady Dinah instead. "That is, if you consent – and if that is all right with your chaperone?" He looked to the Duke of Wrexham with obvious hope burning in his eyes but Lillian frowned, her own stomach lurching from one side to the other. Her brother had not only interrupted her but had also taken away her opportunity to spend some time with her friend, which she had been hoping for.

"I shall walk a little behind you both," the Duke said, smiling a little ruefully. "It is not because I do not trust you, Lord Weatherly, but rather because I do not want to lose my cousin in the ever-growing crowd!" He turned to Lillian, his smile light but his eyes a little shadowed. "Lady Lillian, might you wish to walk with me while your brother walks with my cousin?"

What was she to say? Was she to refuse him? To say that no, she would prefer to walk alone? Her heart quickened but the words that came out of her mouth were ones of consent and soon, despite her own uncertainty, she found herself arm in arm with the Duke of Wrexham.

She did not know what to say. Her mouth went dry and every time she dared a glance up at him, the Duke was frowning slightly, his brow furrowed and his mouth in a thin line. The easy conversation they had shared before and the ease of connection was gone, lost now in the strain of what had happened at the ball.

"Lady Lillian." The Duke let out a sigh and clicked his tongue, his brow still in a heavy frown. "I should like to express my regret that you were present during that conversation with Lord Jedburgh and his sister, Lady Vivianne."

"There is no need to apologise." Lillian offered him a brief smile but then pulled her gaze away just as quickly. "It was not something that you could have been aware of."

"No, indeed!" The exclamation from the Duke made Lillian's eyebrows lift though she quickly forced all sense of surprise out of her expression. The Duke let out another breath and then ran one hand over his eyes before turning to her, his steps slowing to a stop. When his eyes found hers, Lillian snatched in a breath, seeing them now more vivid and intense than ever before.

"I am truly sorry for it was a strange conversation – even for myself – and to hear that, to be involved in that, must have been very unsettling indeed."

"I will not pretend! I have to admit that I found it a little awkward," Lillian told him, choosing to be truthful rather than pretend all was well. "I do hope that you did not mind me stepping away as I did? I thought it best to leave you to discuss matters with Lord Jedburgh alone."

The Duke shook his head. "No, of course not. I quite understand. I – I am only sorry that it happened."

Lillian let herself study him, seeing how he looked away, how his jaw tightened and how his shoulders dropped. Was he displeased at what had happened? Was his supposed engagement to Lady Vivianne nothing more than an expectation put on him by another, something that he was entirely unaware of? If that was true, then did she have a little hope still? Hope that he might not be attached after all?

"I do not mean to pry but are you quite all right?" she asked, a little tentatively. "You do not appear to be quite yourself, Your Grace."

He looked at her and then closed his eyes. "Forgive me, Lady Lillian. I am not very good company. Last evening startled me, though I knew that… " He trailed off, looking at her as though he was not certain that he could tell her what he desired to speak of. Lillian swallowed but said nothing, making certain to keep her gaze steady so that he knew that she was willing to listen but, at the same time, quite willing to end the conversation if he desired it.

"I knew that there might be a connection between Lady Vivianne and myself," he said, eventually. "My father stated it in his will, though the decision will be mine." He winced. "Mayhap I ought not to be sharing with you in such an open fashion, Lady Lillian. Pray, tell me to cease speaking if you desire it."

"I am quite willing to listen to you, Your Grace," she answered quickly, as they began walking again. "Though do not feel that you are obliged to."

He chuckled though it sounded a little dark. "It is a strange connection we have, Lady Lillian. We are not very well acquainted as yet but still, I sense a strength of intimacy between us. Mayhap it is because your mind works in the same way as mine, what with your love of arithmetic and the like, but I do feel as though I can speak openly with you." He glanced at her and then shrugged. "My father suggested in his will that I might consider marriage to Lady Vivianne for she is the daughter of his very dear friend. I came to London knowing that I would have to seek out the lady and speak with her and her family to ascertain what, if anything, was the expectation there but I certainly did not expect there to be any sort of demands, such as I found from Lord Jedburgh!"

"I see." A slight tremor ran through Lillian's frame though she prayed that the Duke himself had not felt it. "Then you must decide if you are to pursue the connection."

"Yes, though my first priority is to Dinah, of course." The Duke smiled, his gaze going to where Dinah and Harry were walking, seeing Dinah laugh up into Harry's face. "But that may not be as long a concern as I first thought."

Lillian's heart softened. "My brother is genuine in his consideration of your cousin, Your Grace," she said, hoping that the Duke did not think that Harry might be some sort of rake. "He and I were speaking of such things shortly before we joined you and I know that his intentions are to call upon her very often before considering the future. I believe he wishes to make certain that his interest and his feelings are genuine given that there has only been a very short acquaintance between the two of them."

"A very wise consideration though I do believe that sometimes, a brief connection can be all that is required." The Duke cleared his throat a little gruffly and then looked away, as Lillian's face flushed, wondering if he spoke of her or if she was simply hopeful that he was. "Thank you for your understanding as regarded Lord Jedburgh and Lady Vivianne, Lady Lillian. Any other young lady might have been deeply shocked at being included in part of such a conversation and might have gone on to demand an apology from either myself or from Lord Jedburgh! I am relieved that you have not required that for while I would not have been in the least bit concerned in apologising to you profusely, I do not think that Lord Jedburgh would have been as amenable."

"You do not know him well, then?" Seeing how the gentleman frowned, Lillian searched his face for a moment as he looked back at her, taking in the way his blue eyes darkened a little.

"No, I am not. It seems a little strange, does it not? My father was a very close friend of Lord Kent and has encouraged a match between us in his will but, while he was alive, the family did not often spend much time with us. I believe I was acquainted with Lady Vivianne at one point but I do not recall it. Lord Jedburgh stated that we have been introduced but I confess that I do not recall it. So, in answer to your question, Lady Lillian, I do not know the family very well at all and certainly know very little of the lady herself."

"Though that may come," Lillian said quietly, though she hated those words as she spoke them. "It will not take long to acquaint yourself with her if that is what you wish to do."

Lord Wrexham looked at her for a long moment but said nothing, even though his mouth opened and then closed again. He gave a small shake of his head as though he was reconsidering what he had been about to say but, in the end, stayed silent. Lillian herself fought for some sort of response, finding the silence almost a little unbearable as she looked back at the gentleman, wondering what it was he was thinking about, what it was he was considering. How much she longed to know whether or not he was going to pursue a connection with Lady Vivianne for then, at least, she would know what to do with her foolish heart. Could she let herself continue to feel this interest, this drawing near him which she almost continually longed for? Or would it be best for her to push that aside, to push him away and find, instead, another gentleman who might see her and value her as she was?

"I should take Dinah on my arm now." The Duke cleared his throat and then dropped her arm gently, inclining his head and bowing. "I thank you, Lady Lillian. I look forward to talking with you at another time."

"As do I," Lillian murmured, watching as the Duke walked quickly away from her and, upon reaching Dinah and Harry, bowed to Harry and then took his cousin away. When Harry turned back towards Lillian, however, the broad smile on his face made her chuckle.

"I presume that all went very well with Lady Dinah, then?" she asked, managing to push away her own confusion and frustrations for the moment. "You appear to be quite contented, brother, which is not at all like you!"

Harry laughed and slung his arm around Lillian for a moment. "My dear sister, you know very well that I am always easily contented," he said, making Lillian laugh aloud. "But when it comes to Lady Dinah, I find myself more than a little contented. She is quite remarkable and, much to my delight, has agreed to let me come to call on her very soon." He sent her a sidelong glance. "Now, I know very well that I do not need to have a young lady's permission to call upon her but all the same, I should like to know that she is eager to have me present, at least."

Lillian grinned. "I am glad to hear it though I do hope you did not have to persuade her too much in order to gain her consent?"

Harry let out an exclamation but, seeing Lillian's grin, began to chuckle and shook his head. "Goodness, you are quite ridiculous, my dear. Though I must ask whether the Duke and you are – "

"The Duke and I are acquainted and that is all," Lillian interrupted, refusing to let her brother continue his sentence, her smile fading. "I should not like to discuss the Duke, Harry, please."

Her brother blinked in surprise, a gravity descending on his expression. "Very well, if that is what you wish," he said, gently. "I quite understand. Now, shall we go in search of mother and father? I think that we have lost them entirely and no doubt, they shall be wondering where you are!"

"Yes, we should." Lillian lifted her chin, forced a smile and walked alongside her brother through the park again, hoping beyond hope that she might be able to leave all thought, all memory of the Duke behind her… at the very least, until she knew what it was that he was going to do as regards Lady Vivianne. Until then, she had no other choice but to protect her heart.